29. Chapter 29
Elias
Micah parked the SUV outside Josh’s home. I stepped out, giving him a last glance before I moved up the path and rang the bell. A flash of blackened walls, bodies piled against a door—I couldn’t seem to shake the image from my head even days later.
I pressed the bell.
The door creaked open, and a wide smile lit Josh’s face. “Elias!” He stepped forward, wrapping me in a tight hug. “It’s so good to see you.”
“You too, Silva.”
Inside, we sat. He ran a hand through his hair. “You have no idea how good it is to talk to a friend.”
I laced my hands together in my lap. “What’s going on?”
He sat back. “It’s killing me. I thought—” He looked up, a smile stretching across his face. “I mean it’s always been, Ruth.”
I nodded. Straight to it then. “But?”
“Leila is… And Junia.” He sat forward again. “Shit man, they’re all great in their own way.”
I unlaced my hands, grinning. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“You do?” He let out a sigh. “I thought it was just me. How do you do it?”
“Choose?”
He laughed shakily. “Send them home.”
My brows bunched. “Oh.”
His hand scraped through his hair again. “It’s not that I could really see myself with most of them, but they’re all sweet. Kind. Their mothers come to my Rite balls and pin me in place with their angry stares.”
I chuckled. “The mothers can be daunting.”
“What about mothers?”
We stood as Josh’s mom entered the room, two cups on a tray.
“Tea?”
“Thanks, Mrs. Silva.” I accepted a cup, sitting as Josh did the same.
“It’s so good of you to visit us, Elias.” She smiled, patting Josh’s shoulder. “He’s in desperate need of your guidance.”
Her wide smile was infectious.
“I’m not sure what help I can be.”
She waved a hand. “Nonsense. You treat each of those young ladies with dignity. They knew when they joined your Rite that there was a chance they’d be going home. You never treat it as a trivial thing.”
My chest squeezed. I had tried to make it easier on them. Mrs. Silva would never know how much her words meant. She sounded like my mother. Mother. The word was tainted now somehow.
“I’ll leave you, boys. Holler if you need me.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Josh sipped his tea. “So. What’s your secret?”
It was my turn to run a hand through my hair.
I had entered my Rite thinking there was only one right choice for me.
I had even considered defying my father to choose her, but Maryn had been a wildcard.
With Rakel, it had been a mix of strong feelings and guilt. I owed it to her to make her my wife.
But I hadn’t known if I was strong enough to face my father’s wrath.
For Maryn, I might do anything to never see another tear on those porcelain cheeks.
I shrugged helplessly. “I think… it’s love.”
Josh stared at me.
I glanced over my shoulder. “Can we go somewhere private?”
“Yeah. Let’s go to Dad’s office. He’s still at work.”
We stood, and I followed him to a small room off the main hall.
The room was decorated with pictures of Josh: Josh in school, in his football uniform—unlike my father’s office, which held only memories of his time before me.
He shut the door, clearing his throat. “Is this about Rakel?”
I stiffened. “What?”
“About the liberties you took in college?”
Color rose in my cheeks, and my hands slid behind my back, shoulders going rigid. “No.”
Josh’s eyes widened a fraction, and my posture relaxed. I would not be my father. I wouldn’t use intimidation or rank to silence those who spoke uncomfortable truths. I unclasped my hands.
“I need a favor.”
Josh nodded, sitting in his dad’s chair.
The tightness in my chest at his ease in that place made me wince. I moved to sit across from him.
“Whiskey?”
I leaned back in my chair. “No. Thank you.”
He searched my face. “What is it?”
“Does your father ever bring any of his work home with him?”
Josh’s brows bunched. “Yeah. Sometimes.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I’m looking for information, and I think your dad may have it.”
He rested a hand on the desk, tapping his fingers over the metal. “Why not just ask him?”
I exhaled a long breath, choosing my next words. “I think… I know the Centers are keeping secrets.”
Josh glanced at the door. “Like what?”
I shook my head. “I can’t say.”
He frowned. “How do I know what I’m looking for?”
I hadn’t entirely thought this part through. With each passing day, I was more certain the Centers were the key. Implantation could only happen there. But were Middle doctors doing it, or only the Elite?
A sick thought churned in my gut. They would have practiced somewhere. In case.
“Your father was in charge of the Caine family, wasn’t he?”
Josh grinned. “This is about Nami.”
I studied the pictures on the wall behind Josh and worked to calm my racing heart. How had I not thought of that sooner? It was a perfect excuse. My mother’s face surfaced, unbidden, and I pushed it down.
My gaze drifted to Josh. “You know me too well.”
He chuckled. “You had me worried there for a second.”
My lips stretched into a smile, the kind I usually reserved for the cameras. “You understand why he can’t know that I’m looking into it?”
Josh’s fingers resumed their tapping. “Of course, man.” His smile matched mine.
“That’s really smart. Maybe I’ve been thinking about this all wrong.
Feelings are important, don’t get me wrong.
” He darted another glance at the door before lowering his voice.
“But Dad’s made it pretty clear that having a son is my top priority. ”
I nodded. “Your father’s a wise man.”
The pride in his eyes was genuine. That tightness was back in my chest.
I stood. “So you’ll do it?”
Josh did as well, coming around his desk to shake my hand. “Of course! I might have a peek at Leila and Ruth’s parents’ files too.”
***
In the car, I watched Micah’s back as he turned us around in the drive.
My father could have allowed driverless cars outside the Center.
He didn’t. Micah’s stiff posture was so obvious now.
How hadn’t I seen it before? Micah wasn’t married.
His role placed him in a unique position.
He’d told me more than once he didn’t want to leave a wife outside the wall while he came to work inside every day.
Had something happened to his parents? One of his sisters? There was no way to know without asking, and after our exchange on Saturday, I didn’t think he would tell me.
There was someone else I could check on while I was outside the wall, someone I probably should have gone to see sooner.
“I need to make another stop, Micah.”
As we left the Upper-Middle district, I stared out the window. On the side of a shuttered building, two lines of text had been scrubbed down to faint outlines, pale letters still bleeding through. Not that I needed to read them clearly to know what they said.
OUR WORTH IS NOT OUR WOMB
WE WILL NOT BE DISCARDED
My gut churned. The rebel slogan. I thought of the dead guards and looked away.
We pulled up outside a building lined with rows of windows. The bricks were faded, the mortar cracked between them.
Before the war, these buildings were called apartments—places people paid to live in. Now, they were called Covenant Homes, a reminder to the people who resided there that they were the property of the Covenant States.
At the top of a set of narrow stairs, I lifted a fist and knocked.
“Who is it?”
The rough voice behind the door was slightly slurred.
“It’s Elias Hale.”
The door opened, and Maryn’s father stared up at me, a hand leaning into the wall. “Hello.”
His breath was sour; I inhaled through my mouth.
“May I come in?”
He stepped back, unsteadily, and I resisted the urge to lift an arm. I’d seen my mother this way often enough to know my help wouldn’t be appreciated.
He stumbled to a chair in a small, tidy living room that looked nothing like the video I’d seen of Maryn’s acceptance speech.
I sat across from Joel Veil on a small couch, glancing around the space. “Is your wife at home?”
Joel’s glazed gaze met mine, and I was certain there was a moment of fear. “Elaine,” he called loudly.
A door opened, and a woman stepped out. She was shorter than Maryn, but her straight posture and the way she held her chin up just like Maryn almost made me smile.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Veil.”
She nodded, sitting on the edge of her husband’s armrest. Joel wrapped his arm around her waist in a move that was both affectionate and improper in front of company.
“I apologize for the impromptu visit.”
Joel waved a hand. “You’re always welcome, Mr. Hale.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I only wanted to let you know Maryn is well and to see if you need anything.”
Joel slapped his hand on his free armrest. “I knew my girl would do great. I raised her right.”
Elaine sat rigidly, her gaze never wavering from my face, even as her husband tugged her closer to him.
“Can I bring Maryn a message from you, Mrs. Veil? I’m sure she would love to hear from her mother.”
Her stiff shoulders tightened.
Joel shook her jovially. “Elaine, give the president’s son a message.” His smile was too wide, his gaze unfocused.
I had thought of offering them money, but I didn’t think it would be appreciated in this house.
The woman across from me was a fighter. I saw it in her eyes. Her black hair and fair skin were like Maryn’s, but it was her spirit that was most similar to my match. My girl.
She had grown up more like me than she realized.
Suddenly, I understood what had drawn me to her: a kinship was built among those who had endured a certain type of parent. It was clear her father wasn’t a violent man, but everyone around him had learned to build walls, to hide truths, to shelter him, just as I had learned to do with my mom.
I stood. “Thank you for having me in your home.”
Joel climbed to his feet, dragging Elaine up with him. He leaned heavily on her as he followed me to the door.
“Come again any time,” he said as I stepped through the door.
I knew. In that moment, I knew I couldn’t let Maryn return to this place.