Chapter 35 #2
“I told them we should cool off that side of our relationship for now,” I say. “It was obviously making you uncomfortable.”
Julita hesitates. I was all right. I never expected—
I break in before she gives any more of the reassurances I no longer believe anyway.
“I know. But you’ve lost a lot, and I don’t want to rub it in your face.
I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide away in the dark constantly.
Having you here matters a lot to me too, in case I haven’t made that clear enough.
Besides, I’ve got an awful lot of other things to focus on right now. ”
I had no idea— Well. If you think that’s best.
I notice she doesn’t protest all that emphatically. Which is fine. I wasn’t waiting for her to talk me out of my decision.
“Let’s just get through this initiation, and then we can worry about the rest.”
She lets out a strained laugh. We can only hope it’ll be so simple.
When I step through the ring of cord into Stavros’s quarters, I find the former general standing by his chest of prosthetics, removing the wooden hand from his wrist harness. He startles at my arrival and turns to face me as I make my now-habitual circuit of the room.
“I didn’t expect you back so soon.”
After confirming no conjured vermin are lurking around, I offer him a tight smile. “We’d already said almost everything that needed to be said.”
“Ah.” The former general hesitates, the set of his broad shoulders looking strangely awkward. “I don’t know the specifics of what’s developed between the three of you, but I hope that neither of them are concerned about you continuing to share my quarters.”
“You’ve managed not to murder me so far, so I suppose they’ve decided you’re not that great a threat to my continued existence.”
Stavros’s chuckle sounds awkward too. “I didn’t mean as far as that… There aren’t many who’d like the idea of their paramour living with another man.”
I can’t suppress the snort that escapes me. “Oh, they’re probably happy about that part. They seem to have gotten it into their heads that I’m going to be the next Signy, and I need a full set.”
The words have barely spilled from my lips before I realize that I’ve said them to the last person I’d have wanted to admit it to.
I snap my mouth shut, my cheeks flaring, and shoot Stavros a pointed glance. “Not that I agree with them or have any designs along those lines.”
I won’t mention the flicker of heat that washes through my veins when he gazes at me with as much intensity as he is right now.
The corner of his lips curves upward in a hint of his usual cocky grin, the one I haven’t seen much of in recent weeks. “Duly noted. I’m glad to hear there aren’t any issues of jealousy, in any case.”
“Nothing to worry about.” I pull myself away from him, my skin still thrumming with unwelcome heat, and head toward the sofa. “I guess we should both get some sleep while we can.”
“It has been in rather short supply.”
A trace of discomfort in Stavros’s voice brings my gaze back to him. He’s looking at his bedroom door now, with an expression as if he’s dreading climbing under the covers.
A weird sense of guilt knots my stomach. Or maybe not so weird when I know it’s nightmares about my possible crimes that have been disturbing his slumber.
After the protection and trust he offered me during our meeting, I can give him a little something in return, can’t I?
The suggestion tumbles out before I can think better of it. “I could read some more from our book first. It might help settle my mind too. If you’d like that.”
Stavros seems to waver for a moment and then shoots me a self-deprecating smile.
“Who would have thought the great General Stavros would need a bedtime story? But thank you—if you aren’t terribly tired already, I’d welcome it.
Let me undress on my own so I don’t offend your modesty. Join me in a few minutes.”
As I wait for the rustling from the next room to quiet, I remove my belt and my boots so I’ll be able to sit more comfortably while I read.
You shouldn’t feel that bad for him after the way he treated you before, Julita says tartly. He hardly needs coddling.
“It really might help me sleep better too,” I murmur back.
She lets out a skeptical hum.
When Stavros accepts my knock on the bedroom door, I find him sitting up at the far end of the vast bed, leaning against the headboard.
The loose short-sleeved undershirt that covers everything but his head, neck, and arms leaves whatever modesty I possess completely unaffected.
I do my best not to wonder what he might have on—or not—under the covers tucked around his torso.
As I go to retrieve the book from the table where I left it, the former general clears his throat.
“Since it doesn’t sound as if it’d cause any issues with Aleksi or Casimir, I was thinking—and you can absolutely say no, not that you’ve ever had any trouble with that before—I would feel even better if you spent the night in here rather than on the sofa.
Simply so I’ll know immediately if the scourge sorcerers call you away during the night. ”
I blink at him. “You want me to sleep in the chair?”
The crooked grin comes back. “I was thinking the bed has rather enough room. We can stick to our own ends without imposing on each other’s space at all. I’d imagine it’d be more comfortable for you than the sofa.”
My fingers tighten around the book. I know from past experience that his mattress is close to divine—he brought me in here after Esmae nearly murdered me.
But his bed didn’t have him in it then.
I want to say yes at least as much as I want to say no, and I’m not sure I’d like the reasons why if I looked at them closely.
“Won’t that be worse for your nightmares?” I say instead. “Having the monstrous riven sorcerer right there beside you?”
Stavros stares at me for a moment, some of the color leaching from his light brown skin.
Then he swipes his hand over his face. “Ivy… You’re not the villain in the nightmares I’ve been having lately.
And I’m never quite fast enough to save you.
So I’d say having you close at hand would help deflect any bad dreams too. ”
Julita makes a sound like a sucked in breath. The book wobbles in my hand. I can’t find my words.
Even after all his apologies and attempts at amends-making, it never occurred to me that he could fear for my well-being on such a deep level it’d infect his dreams.
In my silence, Stavros makes a dismissive gesture. “It’s all right. You clearly don’t like the idea. Make full use of my chair for the reading, and—”
“No.” My heart is beating very fast, and I’m not totally sure why. I don’t know if I want the answer to that either. “A bed definitely beats a sofa. If we both stick to our own sides.”
Stavros halts, and a softer smile touches his face. My racing pulse manages to skip a beat as well.
“We stick to our own sides,” he says like a promise. “You can sleep on top of the covers if you prefer—or I will. Whatever makes you most comfortable.”
I swallow thickly. “I’ll stay on top for reading, at least.”
Stavros nudges one of the plump pillows closer to my side. I prop it up against the headboard and sit gingerly right at the edge of the bed.
He’s far enough away that I’d have to lean over to touch him. This really isn’t that big a deal.
Insisting on that to myself, I tug on the ribbon to open the book to our last page and focus on the story. “They thought that was the worst of the journey, of course, until they stumbled on the village in the hidden valley…”