Chapter Twenty-One Caspia
Twenty-One
Caspia
“Caspia?” Andreas slipped his arm behind my shoulders. “Are you all right? You’ve been quiet today.”
“Yes,” I lied. “Just tired.”
Tired of last moon’s vision running through my mind on a loop.
…
Bodies litter a courtyard walled by towering logs. Fires rage all around me, smoke billowing like clouds.
A chorus of growls and clicks mingles with harrowing screams.
“Xandra.” Tears stream down my face as I watch death prowl over puddles of blood.
This is not my cousin. This is not a Starling.
Andreas’s lifeless body lies at my feet. His throat is missing. The ring I gave him during our wedding glows in the firelight.
I close my eyes as death snarls.
And let the Divine call me home.
…
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his dead body.
I burrowed into Andreas’s side, willing the image of his death out of my mind, as I stared at the fire he’d built for camp.
We were curled against a fallen log, our legs extended and covered by a blanket to ward off the cold. It was dark, the two moons obscured by a thick layer of clouds. Dark enough to hide the tears swimming in my eyes.
What did that vision mean?
Never in my life had a vision been about me. And never in my life had I seen a glimpse of the future. It was always the past. Always events that had already taken place for other people.
It wasn’t a dream. It had the same crisp, clear edges as a vision. The same lasting image that I’d remember until the end.
“You’re shivering.” Andreas pulled the blanket higher.
My entire body trembled, but it had nothing to do with the stormy weather. “It’s cold tonight.”
“The seasons are changing,” he said. “It will be winter soon.”
“Winter?” I didn’t understand that word.
“The coldest of the four seasons. Summer. Spring. Winter. Fall.”
“We don’t have seasons in Nelfinex.”
“It’s not my favorite, but I love spring in Quentis,” he said. “It’s beautiful. Lush and green and bright. You’ll see when I take you there.”
Would he? If we kept going on this path, traveling to Turah, would Andreas survive? Or was this vision a gift from the Divine? This could be a warning that I was on the wrong path. What if I found Xandra, but rather than me saving her life, she took ours instead?
Another shiver ran through my bones.
We’d been traveling across Calandra, and though the suns had been long and grueling, they were worth it for the moons we’d slept beneath the stars.
Except there were no stars. Was that another omen of the death that awaited us at this journey’s end?
We’d followed the road through the forests of Genesis to Coraness, the capital situated at the base of the Elroose Mountains.
The city was a cluster of buildings with tall, pointed roofs.
From red to blue to yellow to green, each structure was painted a bold hue.
Even some of the city’s stone streets were stained with color.
Coraness was a place I could have explored for summers, but we’d only taken one moon’s rest at an inn on the outskirts of the city before buying two horses and leaving the capital behind.
But it had been nice to see that there were cities in Calandra. It was still unsettling how much open space there was between towns. How few people lived on this continent. Or maybe they simply resided in other places, like Quentis.
We’d ridden north, traveling along the foothills until we crossed into Laine. So far, this country seemed as sparsely populated as Genesis. It was so different from Kenn and Nelfinex.
Trees had given way to barren rock. It wasn’t exactly like the landscape in Showe, but it was similar enough to make me homesick.
When I’d asked Andreas why there weren’t more towns, he’d told me that people tended to cluster in cities, where they’d be safer from monsters.
We had yet to see another monster since the fenek. And while Andreas had gone to buy our two mounts in Coraness, I’d asked the innkeeper if he knew of a silver-eyed warrior.
He’d asked me, in turn, if I was drunk.
Andreas lifted his hand to my face, dragging his knuckles along my cheekbone, stealing me away from my thoughts. “Tell me about your family.”
“I have two sisters. Emery and Saskia.”
“And your parents?”
“My father died five lunes before I was born.”
Emery and Saskia remembered him enough to tell me stories. He’d been the captain of the Royal Blades, nearly twenty summers older than our mother. He died in his sleep one moon.
“And my mother is…gone. She left us when I was a baby. We were raised by my aunt.”
“Ah.”
“Do you have sisters?” I asked.
“Only a brother. Arick.”
“Do you get along?”
“Nelvi’o.” Andreas used the old language when he was finished with a topic.
I tilted up my chin and forced a smile. “I’m ready for a real bed.”
“So am I. Maybe we’ll spend an extra day or two in Skanshon when we get there. There’s an inn I’ve stayed at before with the best clam stew you’ll ever taste. And each room comes with a bathtub large enough for two.”
I hummed, snuggling closer.
Every moon, Andreas would kiss me until I was dizzy, but before it went any further, he’d pull away. In Coraness, he’d gotten us separate rooms at the inn.
I hoped the mention of a bathtub meant we’d be sharing a room, and a bed, once we arrived in Skanshon. “You’ve traveled often, haven’t you?”
“I have. Once I came of age, my father felt it was important for me to see as much of Calandra as possible. My family is wealthy, and I was fortunate that they could afford to let me explore the realm.”
“You’re wealthy?” I sat up, trying to match this new piece of information to the man who was stealing my heart.
“Yes. Does that change how you see me?”
“No.” Rich or poor, he was still Andreas. “Why were you in that little cabin?”
“To prove to myself I could walk away.”
“Walk away from what?”
“The wealth. My father. We are not on the best of terms. I haven’t spoken to him in a year, not since I left Quentis.
I wanted to live a lifestyle that he’d loathe, so I chose a place I’d never been.
The cabin belonged to a man from Clefton.
I met him a long time ago, when I was just a boy.
He offered to sell it to me. I accepted. ”
“Will you miss it?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “It served its purpose. I’ll come back to visit someday, but I won’t live there again. I can’t avoid Quentis forever.”
“What’s it like?” I asked, curling back into his side. “Quentis?”
He toyed with a strand of my hair, twining the lock around his finger.
“There’s an openness to the countryside.
Fields of wheat and grain that make a man feel small.
It’s like being on a ship in the middle of a golden sea.
My favorite cities are on the coast, where you can hear the ocean waves from every open window.
Where it smells like salt and sand and every spice imaginable. ”
Like Showe.
The way Andreas talked about Quentis, with affection and adoration in every word, was the way I felt about my home.
Maybe I’d find a piece of my Nelfinex here in Calandra. Enough to fill the void in my heart in case I never returned.
“You miss it,” I said.
“Every day.”
“I miss my home, too.”
“Nelfinex.” He spoke the name often, always with a curious lilt in his voice. Any time I told him of my country, he soaked in every word. For all he knew, it could be a string of lies. But there was never a doubt, never a question that I was telling him a tale.
His trust was as beautiful as his smile.
The guilt of keeping the truth from Andreas had started to gnaw at my insides. He was risking his life to take me across this continent, and he didn’t know why.
“There is something I haven’t told you,” I said.
His body stiffened.
“Xandra and I came to Calandra to avenge my sister’s death.”
“What?” He looked down at me, forehead furrowed.
I took a deep breath, shied away from his warmth, and told him my truths. “My aunt is the queen of Nelfinex.”
His eyebrows lifted. “You’re royalty.”
“Yes. I am Starling.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m a Nelfinex princess.” As for the rest of what being Starling entailed, well…that was for another sun. “My family and our bloodline have many traditions.”
“Your rites.”
“Yes. We call it a ritus. And another we hold dear is vengeance. To kill a Starling is a death sentence. I believe my sister Emery’s murderer is here, in Calandra. A warrior with silver eyes. And I believe he is in Turah.”
Andreas’s jaw clenched as he turned his attention to the fire, his gaze fixed on the crackling flames. “That’s why you’re going there. Not to explore and find your cousin.”
“I do want to find my cousin. And also the silver-eyed warrior.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this at the cabin?”
“I was leaving and didn’t think I’d see you again.”
“Then what about all this time together?” He flung the blanket off his legs, pacing in front of the fire. “You’ve had days to tell me the truth, Caspia.”
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t a secret intended to hurt you.” I sat on my knees and closed my eyes. “I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me.”
“That you’re here for vengeance? You might be from Nelfinex, but that is a concept we have in Calandra, too.”
I gave him a sad smile. “No, I was afraid you wouldn’t believe how I know Emery was killed by a silver-eyed man. And how I know it was in Turah.”
He stopped pacing, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t have dreams, Andreas. I have visions.”
He blinked, then came to sit on the log.
And listened as I told him about my sister’s death.
I’d learned enough about Andreas’s expressions to know that the clench in his jaw and intensity in his tawny eyes meant he was surprised. And Andreas was not a man who enjoyed a surprise.
He’d been quiet as I told him about my visions of Emery being killed by the silver-eyed warrior, and how I knew they were not dreams but glimpses of the past.
It was strange how something that had haunted me for so long hadn’t taken long to explain. It felt bigger than mere moments.
Probably because I’d left out a few details. I hadn’t told him that she’d been in a swift’s form when she died.
“I would give all the elfalter in the world to know what you’re thinking,” I whispered.
“Elfalter?”
I fished my necklace from beneath my tunic, letting the orange metal glint in the firelight.
“You have gold in Calandra. We have elfalter in Nelfinex. It’s the purest and cleanest of all metals.
It’s impossibly strong, yet it can be molded under exactly the right conditions.
It’s as precious to us as any gem or jewel. ”
Andreas studied the pendant, taking it from my hand and turning it to inspect the silver wing. “What is this symbol?”
“The crest of the Starling.”
He studied it closely before setting it against my chest. His eyes searched mine, his amber starbursts glowing. His expression was still too serious, too contemplative.
“Do you believe me?”
I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. But it would be the end of us.
I wasn’t ready for the end.
“Yes.”
For a heartbeat, I thought I’d imagined the word. “You do?”
Andreas shifted off the log, kneeling in front of me. He took my face in his hands, his thumbs dragging over my cheeks. “I believe you.”
“Why?”
He bent and kissed the corner of my mouth. “Are you lying?”
“No.”
“Then I believe you.”
I’d never had such faith from another person, even Emery. Even Xandra.
Tears filled my eyes. Divine, I was tired of crying. “Vexx,” I muttered, blinking them away.
Andreas caught one that escaped. “Vexx?”
“Oh, it’s just a curse.”
He thought about it for a moment, then grinned. “Here, we say ‘fuck.’”
“I like your version better.”
“So do I.” He sealed his mouth over mine, his tongue dragging over the seam of my lips.
I gasped as he slid inside, slanting for a deeper taste.
His hands moved from my face into my hair. They skimmed over my shoulders and down my spine, settling on the curve of my ass. He groaned, tearing his mouth away.
“Don’t stop,” I pleaded, fisting his shirt.
“Caspia, there are things…” He trailed off, dropping his forehead to mine.
“What?”
He sighed, easing away. “Nothing.”
I let the lie stand.
He wasn’t the only one at this campfire with secrets. Sooner rather than later, I’d have to tell him what it meant to be Starling. But not yet.
“Do you want me?” I whispered.
“More than anything in this realm.”
I urged him backward, until he was resting against the log. Then I crawled to straddle his hips, taking his face in my hands. “Then I’m yours.”
“You are mine, darling.”
The endearment made my belly flutter.
I freed the clasp on his pants as I pressed my lips to his. And as we stripped each other bare beneath a blanket of stars, as our bodies became one, I let my other secrets get lost in the dark.