Chapter Thirteen Violet
Chapter Thirteen
Violet
I woke to the sound of rain.
At first it was faint and brushed against the glass, but the more awake I became, the louder it sounded.
I blinked myself into consciousness, the steady rhythm becoming sharper and more insistent. It sounded angry, like pebbles being thrown against the glass. The storm was heavy, covering the room in shades of gray.
For a moment I lay perfectly still, staring at the ceiling. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about when Grayson had stayed the night, and what he’d done to me—given me. Even now, my body heated and flushed at the remembrance of his mouth all over my body before settling between my thighs.
He kissed, licked, sucked on me like he owned me, and I was feeling like he did. But not in the sense that Marcus had, not that oppressive sensation of being a prisoner. Grayson grounded me and undid me all at the same time. My lips still tingled with the memory of his kiss.
I pulled in a shaky breath and rolled onto my side, pulling the blanket around me and watching as the rain pelted everything it touched right outside the window. Everything felt similar but different all in the same breath. Something had shifted, broken open within me.
Grayson’s face flickered in my mind, and I closed my eyes and let every part of me be consumed by his image.
The sharp square planes of his jaw, the dark and almost stormy shade of his eyes.
It matched the weather raging outside. He kissed me like a starved man, as if he’d waited far too long to have what he always wanted. And I’d kissed him back just the same.
I wanted to drown in all these feelings.
Because giving in was easier than fighting the current, and letting the past win. I knew what was around me. I understood the dangers that were literally right outside my door.
I pushed myself upright, my body sluggish from a lack of sleep. My dreams had been jagged, torn between flashes of my past and what was happening in my present. Then there was a sharp blade of what the future held for me.
The mirror above the dresser caught my reflection, and I scowled at my appearance.
My dark hair was a sleep-deprived mess, and my red-rimmed eyes were shadowed by dark circles.
Low self-esteem rose like an ugly, hateful bitch, asking me what in the hell Grayson saw in me. I was a mess, both inside and out.
I was lost in thought about . . . everything when a knock sounded at my front door, muffled through the walls, but loud enough whoever was on the other side wanted it known they were there.
I froze, my breath lodged in my throat. I didn’t know how long I stood there, but when another knock followed, I grabbed an oversize sweater and made my way toward it. I pulled the curtain aside and peered out to see Grayson standing on the porch, drenched from the weather, a scowl on his face.
My hand hovered over the knob for a second too long, and then I forced myself to open it. He stood there like another turbulent storm, even stronger and more dangerous than the one raging behind him.
His hair was damp, curling slightly at his temple, droplets of water sliding down his face and neck. His dark jacket glistened with raindrops, and his hands were clenched tightly into fists at his sides. I said nothing, just stepped aside to let him in.
When the front door shut, I leaned against it, our eyes locking on each other. His gaze searched mine with an intensity that rooted me in place.
“Hi,” I finally said. A chill settled around me. I wrapped my arms around my middle, making myself smaller.
“Morning,” he said, his voice low and gravelly.
My throat worked. “Good morning.” A part of me wondered if he could read my mind, knew I’d been thinking about his mouth pressed to my pussy just a few nights ago. “Coffee?”
“Yeah,” he grumbled and ran a hand over his wet hair. “Thanks.”
I nodded once, but instead of going into the kitchen, I grabbed him a towel from the bathroom. He sat at the dining room table while I made us coffee, his stare heavy behind me, but he kept quiet.
Although I hadn’t seen him for a couple of days—I knew he was busy with the ugly work of finding out what the hell was happening in Sweetwater Lake—he had called and texted in that time.
When I sat in front of him, it brought me back to the last time we found ourselves in this exact position. His gaze scanned my face, lingering on my mouth. Heat surged under my skin, traitorous and impossible to ignore.
The room shrank around us in the best way.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he finally admitted.
The storm outside wreaked havoc, lightning painting his features in stark relief.
“Me either,” I admitted, too.
“You keep looking at me like you’re waiting for me to disappear,” he murmured.
I stared outside, letting his words settle in and around me. “I think a part of me is,” I whispered back. “I guess I’m just waiting for you to realize how fucked up I am.”
When he didn’t answer, I looked back at him. His jaw flexed, and for a second I thought he’d argue. Instead, he reached out and brushed a strand of hair from my cheek. My body went rigid, my heart pounding so hard it hurt.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
I closed my eyes because the weight of those words was too much. Too dangerous.
People like me didn’t get to want things. Desire was just another lever for the world to pull, another way to hurt you when it inevitably took everything away. I’d learned that lesson young, carved deep into me alongside the symbols I could never forget.
When I opened them again, he was still there. Still touching and watching me with that unshakable intensity that made me feel bare and vulnerable in the center of a lightning storm.
A part of me wanted to just admit everything. I wanted to spill the truth about the cult, about Marcus, and how every carved symbol and missing heart screamed the Bleeding Ground straight back into my life.
But he didn’t know any of that yet. Not really. I’d given him fragments. The heart on my doorstep, the symbol that made me freeze, and whispers of a past I couldn’t outrun. It was enough for him to suspect I was hiding something big, but not enough for him to see the whole ugly shape of it.
My voice faltered when I whispered, “I don’t even know who I am anymore, Grayson.
All I know is that every time you’re near me, it feels like I’m standing on the edge of something I won’t come back from.
” I curled my hands harder around the mug, fearful it would shatter.
“I’m afraid that everything happening around me is because of my past.” I took in a shuddering breath.
“That my demons are coming back to take me to hell.”
The storm outside cracked again, as though echoing the truth of it.
I didn’t know who leaned in first. Maybe it was both of us, pulled together like magnets we couldn’t resist. Our mouths brushed once, tentatively, before the dam broke and the kiss deepened, hungrily, desperately.
I was out of my seat and sitting on his lap seconds later. His hands tangled in my hair, tugging just enough to make me gasp. Grayson swallowed the sound like it belonged to him. It does. My fingers fisted in his damp jacket, clutching as though I could anchor myself to him.
When we broke apart, breathless and trembling, I stared at him, searching for something I couldn’t name. What he gave me was a steady, consuming gaze.
“I can’t keep fighting this. I’m tired of worrying the other shoe will drop, or you’ll figure out the truth . . .” The words hung between us, heavy and unmistakable. Grayson went very still, his eyes narrowing just a fraction. It was the only sign he’d caught it.
He leaned forward slightly, elbows on the table, voice low and careful. “What truth, Violet?”
I bit my tongue and shook my head, the confession lodging in my throat like broken glass. “I’m just afraid, Grayson,” I whispered, barely audible. I wondered if he’d let it go.
He didn’t.
His gaze stayed locked on mine, patient but unrelenting, waiting for the rest I wasn’t ready to give. “I don’t have answers for a lot of things, but what I can say is let’s take this one day at a time.” He cupped my cheek, and for that moment I just let everything . . . be.
One day at a time . . . until the past caught up to me, and Grayson uncovered everything.