23. CHARLOTTE
23
CHARLOTTE
I was head-over-heels in love.
When I first met him, I thought he was a pompous asshole who was full of himself, grumpy as hell, and willing to buy the world’s good graces with as much money as he could throw at him.
As I got to know him, his tough exterior had slowly fallen away, and he was such a sweet, soft soul underneath that hard shell.
My stomach erupted in butterflies whenever I thought about him.
I want to be with you. I’ll talk to Gabe. We’ll figure this out.
He’d seemed so serious when he’d said that. He really wanted to be with me.
I hadn’t come to Rhode Island to find a relationship. Love hadn’t been on the cards at all—I had so many things I wanted to achieve, and being in a relationship had felt like it would just get in the way of that.
But if I could be with Alex and still do what I loved, that changed everything. After all, didn’t they say that was how it worked? When you weren’t looking for love, it came right up and bit you in the butt.
Or kissed you on the mouth.
I chuckled at the idea, and then my stomach did another little twist, thinking about the night we spent together.
Alex had touched me as if he’d never touched a woman before, as if I was delicate and beautiful and rare. He’d kissed me as if he’d never wanted to stop.
And I hadn’t wanted him to. I flashed on his hands trailing down my body, his mouth following in the fire he left in their wake. He’d been so passionate, so eager to devour me. And, at the same time, he’d relished in the moment, as if he was committing every second to memory, holding our connection in the palm of his hand like a treasure.
When I got home, I took a shower, washing the rain and salty seawater out of my hair. The shower filled with the scent of the musty lighthouse mingled with the smell of our sex, and I closed my eyes. Alex’s eyes were so warm whenever he looked at me, and I shivered despite the hot water when I thought about the feel of his lips on mine—determined, demanding.
After washing my hair and scrubbing my body, I dressed in clean clothes and dried my hair. It was good to be home, clean, comfortable, and dry. But I wouldn’t have hated being with Alex on the island for a while longer.
It had been a dream being there with him, some kind of fantasy I hadn’t wanted to snap out of.
He’d said he wanted to be with me, and it had sounded fantastic.
I wanted to be with him, too.
But now that we were back in the real world, my mind was starting to plague me. I was highly prone to overthinking, and every reason this couldn’t work churned in my mind. The more I thought about it, the more panicked I became.
Maya always called me out on it when I over-thought something. She was my voice of reason, someone who closed her eyes and jumped without thinking at all.
Between the two of us, we struck a pretty good balance.
And I needed her advice.
I opened my laptop and sent Maya a direct message on our chat app. I didn’t have a phone to call her with.
Are you there?
I drummed my fingers on my table, waiting for a reply. She was probably out or away from her laptop.
I started typing another message, telling her my phone was dead. She replied before I could send it.
I’m here!! You’re not responding to any of my texts. Are you okay?
Yeah, fine. My phone’s dead so I can’t get anything but I need to see you.
I have news… I need to talk. You’re not going to believe this.
OMG what happened?? I was worried sick!
Before I could reply and talk her down from the ledge, another message popped up.
Okay, no. Melodrama alert. It’s not my style.
I wondered why you weren’t replying to any of my messages! I can come over now.
I laughed and shook my head, typing a reply.
No reason to be worried. I’m the one who usually expects the worst, I can’t be rubbing off on you the wrong way.
Yes, come over! As soon as you’re ready.
And bring wine, I don’t have enough here and we’ll need waaaay more for this story.
Now I need to know!
I'm on my way with wine, STAT.
See you in a bit!
She hadn’t been joking when she’d said she was on it, STAT. She knocked on my door less than half an hour later.
“Did you run?” I asked when I opened the door, and she stood in front of me, breathing hard. Her green-and-pink hair was wild, and her face wasn’t made up. She looked so different when she didn’t wear the thick black eyeliner.
“Funny,” she said and scrunched her nose. “I drove. I only ran up the stairs.” She held up two bottles of wine. “White or red?”
“Who said there’s anything wrong with both?”
“I knew from the start we would be best friends and then you say things like that and it reminds me why.”
I laughed and let Maya into the apartment, shutting the door behind her. She took wineglasses out of the cupboard—she knew her way around as if we were roommates—and she poured us each a glass, filling it to the top.
“You’re not supposed to do that,” I said with a laugh. “There’s a line to guide you and everything.”
“First of all, that line is bullshit. You never need that kind of negativity in your life. Besides, you said we needed a lot of wine. We’re going to have to refill as it is. I’m just being efficient.”
I giggled. “You’re such a forward-thinker.”
“Innovation at its finest.” She handed me a glass and held hers up so that I could clink mine against it. “We’re the future, after all.”
I laughed, and we sipped the wine together. We walked to the living room, and I sat down on the couch, kicking off my shoes. I tucked my feet under me, crossing my legs.
Maya did the same and turned to me expectantly.
“Are you going to keep me in the dark forever? Did you just invite me over to torture me? Spill!”
I smiled, blushing when I thought about what I was about to tell her and launched into the story.
Maya listened intently, gasping in all the right places, her eyes wide as I told her about a beach cleanup that had turned into a boat ride and then a game of survival.
Although, I couldn’t even call it survival . With someone as skilled at boating and knowing the island, knowing what we needed, I was pretty sure I wasn’t in any kind of danger at all.
“Oh, my God, Lottie!” Maya cried out when I was done. “Are you kidding me? This is the stuff straight from fairy tales!”
I tucked my knees to my chest and hugged my legs with one hand, sipping my wine periodically with the other.
“I know. And the fact that he wants to see me again, that he wants to make this work…” I squeezed my eyes shut and squealed, letting out the excitement. “I can’t believe this is happening, either. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and realize this was just a dream.”
“A dream can’t be that good.”
I didn’t counter her, but I’d had pretty good dreams of Alex more than once.
My heart raced when I thought about him, but my stomach twisted at the same time, and my smile faded. Now that I’d put it all into words, shared the events out loud, I was starting to really think about what had happened.
“Uh-oh,” Maya said, noticing my shift in demeanor. “What’s up?”
“This is never going to work.” I dropped my knees again, sitting back against the couch. I drained my glass and held it out to Maya. She reached for the bottle she’d hurried to get halfway through my story and promptly filled my glass.
“Why not? He sounds like he’s crazy about you. And you’re crazy about him too, right? You just said he’s nothing like any guy you’ve been with before.”
I nodded. “Yeah, all of that is true. But, Maya, he’s Gabe’s best friend. And he’s a Blackwood, for crying out loud. There are so many reasons this won’t work.”
“Didn’t he say he was going to talk to Gabe? Maybe your brother will be fine with it. I mean, he knows Alex a lot better than you do.” A cheeky smile played around her mouth. “Okay, maybe not exactly better than you…”
I giggled and covered my eyes with one hand, blushing wildly.
“Stop it.”
“But Gabe should know who he is under all that tough-guy shit he’s got going on. I mean, he wouldn’t have been friends with him if he wasn’t a decent guy, right?”
I considered the frat-like guys Gabe also liked hanging out with.
“I don’t know if that’s completely true. I mean, look at his other friends…”
“He doesn’t confide in them though, does he?”
Maya was right. She’d been in town just about as long as I had, but she’d met Gabe a couple of times through our time studying together, and my brother had come to visit, and somehow she could sum him up just as easily as she had with me. Maya had a knack for seeing right through the images people liked to show the world and figure out who they really were.
Maybe I had to introduce her to Alex and let them spend some time together so she could tell me I wasn’t crazy, that he wasn’t just too good to be true.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I finally admitted.
Maya beamed. “I’m usually right.”
“And so modest.”
She laughed. “Hey, someone has to say it as it is.” She offered me an arrogant smile, but then she got serious again. “I don’t think you should overthink this so much. I think it’s a good thing, and it sounds like he’s serious about you. That’s a big deal. Alex Blackwood doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would make promises and then go back on them just like that.”
“He didn’t exactly make me any promises.”
“What he said is as good as a promise. And all this other shit with the campaign… I know why it pitted you against each other, but there’s not actually any kind of law against being with him, you know. It’s not like you’re working together at the same company and breaking some kind of policy or rule or whatever. You’re totally allowed to jump each other’s bones as much as you like, and they can’t say shit about it.”
“Nice visual.” I laughed. “We’re going to keep it quiet for now, though. Just because it might be easier that way, you know, until the whole thing with the campaign and the public callout runs its course.” I felt like an idiot now for calling him out the way I had, but I’d been so furious with him before, thinking he was someone completely different.
“It sounds like a good idea, but I don’t think it’s really necessary,” Maya said.
I nodded.
“I think what scares me the most is how serious I am about him and about what’s happening between us. If he decides he doesn’t want to be with me for whatever reason, or it was something that just happened on the island, but now that we’re back here, it might not be real… that’s what terrifies me. With the others, I was safe because I didn’t really care that much, so I didn’t get hurt when it all ended.”
“You’re worried he’s going to abandon you,” Maya pointed out.
I hesitated.
“I know that’s what’s getting to you,” Maya said, not waiting for a reply. “With your mom leaving, you’re worried it will happen again and all the other guys you were with, you dumped first.”
Shit, she really knew me.
“I don’t want to walk away from him,” I said. “And if he walks away from me—”
Someone knocked on the door, cutting off my sentence.
“Who could that be?”
Maya shrugged.
I got up and walked to the door, opening it up to a delivery guy.
“Package for Miss Reynolds.”
“I wasn’t expecting anything.”
He shrugged and held out an electronic signature pad. “Sign here.”
I did as he asked, and he handed a box to me before wishing me a good day. I shut the door.
“What is it?” Maya asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “A package.”
When I opened it, it was a brand-new phone.
“Oh.”
“That was quick,” Maya said.
“It’s from Alex. He said he’d replace mine.”
Maya’s smile grew. “Really?”
I nodded. “I didn’t think he would do it. And not so soon, either. And wow… I would never be able to afford a phone like this.” It was the latest model.
“I think you’re going to be okay,” Maya said. “He’s already keeping his promises to you.”
She was right. I stared at the phone, and my heart skipped a beat.
Alex was doing exactly that—keeping his promises. Maybe it was going to work out after all.