37. CHARLOTTE
37
CHARLOTTE
M y phone rang loudly next to me, yanking me out of a deep sleep. I’d fallen asleep on the couch. My arm was dead with how I’d been lying on it, and the laptop was on the floor. I hoped I’d put it down carefully and not pushed it off in my sleep.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Were you sleeping?” Maya asked over the phone.
“Yeah, I nodded off.” I checked the laptop. It seemed okay.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No, no. I didn’t mean to sleep. What’s up, everything okay?”
“Turn on your television,” Maya said. “You’re going to want to see this.”
I picked up the remote and turned on the television. A reporter stood at the harbor with a mic, her hair blowing in the wind.
“—Blackwood Inc., a leading name in luxury yacht manufacturing, never fails to surprise us.”
“Why am I watching this?” I asked with a groan.
“Just keep watching.”
“As if their inn is proud to announce a significant shift in its business strategy toward environmental sustainability. We’ve watched closely as the company has navigated one difficult decision after the other, and it seems like they’re serious about taking the plunge.”
I frowned at the screen. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know, but since she’s throwing around words like sustainability , it can only be good for your campaign.”
I snorted. “As if the campaign is the reason you’re calling.”
“Just listen,” Maya urged.
“Under the visionary leadership of CEO Alexander Blackwood,” the reporter continued, “the company is embarking on a groundbreaking initiative to develop an eco-friendly line of yachts that prioritize environmental responsibility without compromising on luxury or performance.”
“I thought he wasn’t going to do that anymore,” I said to Maya.
Alex appeared on the screen, and my heart skipped a beat as he addressed a group of reporters.
“We recognize our responsibility to the planet and future generations,” he said. “Today, we’re taking a bold step toward a more sustainable future by committing to the development and production of eco-friendly yachts that minimize our environmental footprint while delivering the unparalleled luxury and craftsmanship our clients have come to expect.”
“Alex,” one of the reporters asked, “what about those who don’t agree with your move? Rumor has it that some of your investors aren’t happy with the change in direction.”
“As companies change and grow, our visions align with different people. Seasons change, and so does business. It’s important to recognize when it’s time to work together, and when it’s time to part as friends and go in our own directions, knowing we created something good, but recognizing that change is not our enemy.”
A few other reporters asked questions, but the camera panned back to the reporter delivering the news bulletin.
“The eco-friendly yachts will feature state-of-the-art tech, innovative design, and sustainable materials to reduce carbon emissions, minimize waste, and protect marine ecosystems, according to a press release earlier today by Christopher Blackwood, yacht designer at the company. It seems that the family is determined to make this new direction work. The decision to prioritize environmental sustainability reflects Blackwood Incorporated’s commitment to corporate social responsibility and its dedication to making a positive impact on the world. The company aims to inspire change within the yacht industry and contribute to the preservation of our planet’s precious natural resources.”
“Oh, shit,” I breathed into the phone.
“He’s doing it, Lottie,” Maya said. “He’s making the change for you.”
I shook my head even though Maya couldn’t see me, trying to gather my thoughts and calm my emotions that were suddenly all over the place.
“He’s not doing anything for me. We’re not together anymore.”
“But you know what… you should be,” Maya said firmly. “I know you have your reasons for telling him off, but the truth is that he’s not doing the thing you were angry about anymore, and you’re so good together. Charlotte, you’re having his baby. But not just that. You love him.”
“I have to go,” I said. “I can’t… I have to go.”
I ended the call before Maya could argue with me and covered my face with my hands. This was too much all at once.
Because Alex had done exactly what I’d wanted him to do. And that should have meant the reason for me leaving him would be gone, right? But it wasn’t that simple.
I was still pregnant with his baby, and being with him when I knew being a father wasn’t what he wanted would be wrong.
It was better this way.
It had to be.
I tried to keep myself busy the rest of the day, focusing on anything but what I’d seen on television. When I couldn’t distract myself from thinking about Alex anymore, I showered, got dressed into pajamas, and got into bed.
I was exhausted. These days, it felt like everything was hard work. I was nauseous all the time, and the few things I could eat that didn’t come back up were getting boring.
But my emotions bugged me more. I missed Alex. A lot. There were times I thought of something or saw something funny that I wanted to tell him before I remembered we weren’t talking anymore.
I wanted to cuddle up with him, to let him tell me something so that I could listen to the soothing sound of his voice while I fell asleep.
A part of me wished we were back in that lighthouse together, with the rain pushing the rest of the world away. Our phones had been without signal, and it had been just me and him. Nothing had mattered but what we felt for each other and what we were when we were together.
Dynamite. That’s what we had been.
Electric.
Perfect.
With that night in my mind, Alex lying on the tarp next to me with his warm body against mine, I finally drifted off to sleep.
“Are you cold?” Alex asked, running his hands over my bare arms.
“A little,” I admitted.
“Come here,” Alex said and pulled me tighter against him, his naked skin warm against mine. Outside the storm raged on, and the ocean outside the lighthouse hammered relentlessly against the rocks at its base, a reminder that we were stranded and alone out here.
But it wasn’t scary. The storm couldn’t get to us through the walls of the lighthouse—they were thick and well-built, with a fresh layer of paint and double-paned windows to keep the weather out.
Lightning snapped somewhere close by, and Alex and I both turned our heads toward the large windows that overlooked the whole bay below us in the lantern room.
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
“It’s incredible,” Alex murmured, and he pulled the thick covers on the bed closer to us.
The bed was king-sized and plush, with thick blankets against the cold, and the rain that drummed against the windows made the moment seem so much more romantic than scary.
“You are incredible,” Alex added, pressing his lips against my temple. “You have no idea how much I like being here with you.”
I looked at him. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Everything.” I looked down at my hands. “Being so hard on you. Jumping to conclusions. Accusing you of things my dad did because I was so mad at him, and I had to blame someone for my anger.”
Alex cupped my cheek. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I know how it goes.”
I warmed at him calling me his sweetheart, but my stomach twisted.
“It wasn’t fair of me to put all of that on you. You have enough trouble of your own without needing to have to deal with mine.”
Alex shook his head. “Never see it that way. Life isn’t about finding someone who doesn’t have a past. We all have baggage, you know. It’s about finding someone who will help you unpack.”
I giggled so that he wouldn’t know how emotional he made me. “You saw that on the internet somewhere.”
“I will never be the first person to say the words ‘I love you.’ But you will be the first person I say it to where I really, truly mean it.”
My breath caught in my throat, and Alex kissed me. His tongue slid into my mouth, and I gasped when he rolled his body onto mine, his muscles rippling under his skin as he moved on top of me.
With his body on mine, pinning me down, I felt safe. His weight was like an anchor, and his lips were warm on mine, his tongue erotic and delicious in my mouth.
I moaned when Alex moved his mouth to my neck. He kissed and licked a line along my jaw toward my ear before he sucked my earlobe into his mouth.
I gasped, and goosebumps stretched across my shoulder and arms at his hot breath against my ear.
Slowly, he kissed his way down my neck, over my collarbone, and onto my naked chest.
My breath caught in my throat, and Alex kissed me. His tongue slid into my mouth, and I gasped when he rolled his body onto mine, his muscles rippling under his skin as he moved on top of me.
The heat built between my legs. He took one of my nipples into his mouth, his hand cupping my breast. He teased the nipple with his tongue, and I melted under his touch.
When Alex moved from my left nipple to the right, I pushed my hands into his hair and moaned. His attention to my breasts sent pulses of electricity to my sex. His fingers pinched my nipple while he ran his tongue over the other one.
His hand slid down my stomach, and I gasped.
“Do you want me to stop?” He looked up at me, his mouth so close to my nipple that I felt his breath on the tip.
“Please, don’t.”
He moved back down, his tongue lapping at my nipple before he sucked it into his mouth.
“Oh!” I arched my chest into him.
I wanted more, craved him.
“You’re so beautiful. You have no idea what you do to me.”
When his hand moved over my pubic bone and onto my sex, I opened my legs. I ached for his touch, for the release that he’d given me before.
He slid his fingers over the slick flesh and circled my clit. “You’re so wet for me.” His voice was a deep growl against my lips, and it sent shivers down my spine.
I could only moan in response, my body trembling with need at his touch, and he was dragging it out, teasing me.
He circled the sensitive bundle of nerves slowly. I gasped and grabbed his biceps, groaning as he drove me crazy. He pressed his lips against mine, kissing me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. We made out while he worked his fingers over my clit. He pushed them into me, and I moaned loudly when he stroked my walls, slowly teasing, before he moved back to my clit. His tongue probed and tasted my mouth while his fingers alternated between my clit and my entrance, and I shivered and trembled, on the edge of an orgasm he wouldn’t let me reach.
“Please, Alex,” I moaned.
“Charlotte,” he replied, and my name on his lips was intoxicating.
He removed his hand and rolled onto me, and my legs parted for him to lie between. His cock was hard and rested on my mound, sliding over my entrance. I arched my back, pushing against him. I needed him, wanted him. He reached between us and grabbed his cock, pushing it inside me, and we both moaned. He filled me, and I gripped his shoulders as he slid into me, deeper and deeper until he was buried inside me.
“Fuck, Charlotte, I’ve missed you,” he said through gritted teeth.
I moaned in response. “I missed you, too.”
He started moving inside me, sliding in and out. My walls clenched around his cock, and he groaned, his forehead against mine, his breathing fast and shallow.
He grabbed my hips, pulling me toward him as he moved. I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his back, and he groaned, bucking his hips faster and faster as I pulled him closer.
The heat between us was almost unbearable. The tension grew, and the knot in my stomach tightened with each thrust.
“Come for me, Charlotte.” His voice was barely a whisper.
And then it all released at once, and I fell over the edge, coming undone in his arms.
“Alex.” I cried out his name and dug my nails into his back.
“Charlotte, I’ve got you,” he whispered and held me close.
As my body shuddered with the waves of an orgasm, Alex picked up his pace. He thrust into me hard and fast, his movements jerky.
His face was buried in the crook of my neck, his hands still on my hips, and he pounded into me.
With a strangled groan, he thrust deep inside of me, and I felt him throb, spilling into me as he came, too. We came together, two bodies melded as one, and I clung to him.
Nothing mattered but the two of us. Nothing mattered but how perfect we were together. I’d been a fool to think that I could fight this, and I realized it was useless. I wanted to be with Alex, and he wanted to be with me.
Because I loved him.
I slowly opened my eyes. When I turned my face toward the window, the morning had just arrived, the dawn.
I had a hollow feeling in my chest. I missed Alex.
Especially after the dream I’d had.
I wished it could just be real, but that couldn’t happen. It was over between us, and that was the right thing.
Wasn’t it?