23. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
Maggie
I gathered my sweater tighter. Grady angled himself so I could barely make out Trent’s form around his shoulders. I closed my eyes, trying to gather my wits. Why had I let him kiss me? Not just kiss but devour me. If Trent hadn’t come in, how far would we have gone? My body was throbbing, primed for him, desperate for more contact. Half of me wanted to drag him into the stall, pretend Trent wasn’t there at all. Why had Trent come in here? Did no one care that it was the ladies’ room?
“I fucking told you to leave her alone,” Trent said.
At that, I hopped down from the counter and straightened my skirt. I wasn’t a kid anymore. Beside Grady, I put my hand on the small of his back. Unlike last time, we didn’t need to bear this tryst alone, in isolation.
“I know why you’re saying that to him, but whether I’m with him or not is my choice.” I kept my voice even, reasoned. None of us needed this situation to escalate. I’d already been afraid they’d come to blows on the stage earlier. The tension in the room was palpable. When they were younger, they’d be laughing and joking one minute, hurling insults and wrestling the next. Good-natured, if a little violent. That wasn’t the vibe in the room now.
“He didn’t see you.” Trent flicked his hand in Grady’s direction and eyed his brother with disgust.
His meaning was clear, but I was glad he didn’t spell it out in front of his brother. I hoped Grady never knew all the tears I’d cried over his stupid song, how I’d sat across from Trent when I’d visited him in jail and refused to tell him why his brother’s opinion mattered so much. “We can’t go back. We all did dumb things, sometimes for the right reasons, sometimes for the wrong ones. You can’t deny it.”
Trent looked away, pushing his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. “I never wanted you to get hurt.”
“And I didn’t want you to go to jail.” I sighed. “Choices don’t always lead to the consequences we expect.”
“I’m still in the fucking dark,” Grady muttered, slipping his arm around my waist and securing me to his side.
I met Trent’s gaze for a beat, and he shook his head, almost imperceptible. With a sigh, I eased away from Grady. “I need to talk to Trent.”
Grady’s eyes were filled with indecision. Was he as worried as I was? This truce between us, this new understanding, was fragile, a thin glass that might crack or smash at any moment.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“We should talk about this later.”
Trent shifted his feet by the door and let out a loud sigh. A small smile played at the edges of my mouth, and then I nodded. Grady’s hand trailed along my waist before he walked past Trent to the door.
“I asked for one thing,” Trent muttered.
“It was the one thing I couldn’t give you.” He opened the door and left.
“What was that all about?” I asked.
“My brother’s been trying to get in your pants for weeks. Maybe he already has, what do I know? He’s never going to stay, Maggie. Some offer will come along from somewhere, and he won’t be able to turn it down. He’s not the guy who stays when things get tough. I don’t want you hurt again.”
“I’m not a seventeen-year-old girl anymore.”
“You’ve had a thing for him since then?” He frowned and leaned his hand against the bathroom wall.
“Is that so hard to believe?”
He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Nah, I guess it’s not. You two were always following each other around the house talking about books, and other shit I couldn’t be bothered with. Is that why you were so upset about his song?”
“Mostly, sort of. Grady and I—we— connected before you got arrested.”
“Is that some sort of Urban Dictionary thing? Did Gwyneth Paltrow use that phrase on her stupid-ass website in relation to some guy she hooked up with?” He raised his eyebrows and made air quotes. “Connected? The kind of connected I walked in on?”
I flushed, and he shook his head. “I want to tell him the truth.”
Time stretched between us. “If he made a move on you when he thought you were my girlfriend, he doesn’t deserve to know shit.”
“I wasn’t your girlfriend. We were more like best friends. I shouldn’t have to explain this to you.”
“And that’s why I’m not mad at you . He didn’t know.”
“You’re going to argue principles with me after the lies we were living?”
He stared at me and crossed his arms.
“Why are you really so mad at him? You didn’t even know about us.” A huff of frustration spewed out. I was tired of keeping my feelings bottled up. I wanted Grady to know everything, to clear the air. Even while arguing with Trent, my lips tingled from the memory of his kiss.
He wouldn’t meet my gaze. “After our dad died, it was just me and Grady. Mom worked too much trying to keep us all together under one roof. You know that. It’s why I didn’t want her to know. She’d blame herself.” He pressed the heels of his hands into his forehead and sighed. “Me and Grady caused shit, stirred up trouble, got into everything together. And then, I don’t know, even before I got arrested, we’d drifted. I didn’t tell him about the meth. He didn’t tell me about the music.”
“You’re mad at him because the two of you aren’t close?” I said the words slowly, trying to figure out if I was putting the situation together correctly.
“I guess? I don’t fucking know. But I’m angry. I’m really fucking angry at him.”
“He let you down.”
“In ways I didn’t even know or understand.”
I ran my hand up Trent’s arm and cupped his cheek. “He’s here and he wants to make things right. He’s not the same guy he was. He’s figuring himself out.”
“That’s not what it looked like when I walked in here.”
“You worry about you, and I’ll worry about me. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me, something you’ve never told me, the only relationship you need to worry about is yours with Grady. You don’t need to take care of me. I grew up.”
He chuckled and took my hand between his. His gaze searched my face. I hoped I was showing him whatever he needed to see.
“I’ll tell him.”
“When?” I crossed my arms. Would Grady blame me for what had happened with Trent? Probably not. But a part of me still blamed myself. What I’d said to Trent was true. Choices had consequences. Sometimes those were unexpected. I hoped telling Grady didn’t blow up in our faces.
“Tonight. I’ll tell him tonight.” He gave me a half smile. “That’ll make you happy?”
A small laugh escaped. “Who knows? But I think it’s time we found out.”