Chapter Seven - 7. The Family #2
“It’s okay,” Taylor said to her. “You can come visit us another time.”
“But that’s going to be ages away,” Hazel said. “Mummy, are we watching Taylor’s soccer tomorrow?”
“You’re still playing soccer?” Lucy asked, brows jumping up.
“Yeah. I am.”
“Sorry, Haze,” Lucy replied. “Mum and Dad have important things to do tomorrow.”
“So we’re not watching Taylor’s soccer?” Hazel asked, bottom lip sticking out.
“You’re wasting everyone’s time,” Ben told her sternly.
Hazel leaned into Taylor’s side, wrapping her hands around his arm. “No.”
Ben exhaled through his nose. “Don’t be difficult.”
“Hazel,” Lucy said coaxingly.
“Hazel can stay with us,” Taylor said. “I’ll feed her.”
“We can’t leave her with you,” Ben said.
“Why not? I’ve looked after her since she was born. I’m not going to lose her.”
Lucy’s eyes flickered to me. “You’d be imposing on your roommate.”
“I don’t mind,” I said. “I could even take her to Taylor’s soccer game.”
Hazel perked up.
“Are you sure?” Lucy asked, but a part of her looked hopeful. She’d probably appreciate an evening with just her husband. My mum would’ve, when I was a little kid.
“Yeah, totally,” I replied. “It’s no issue.”
Ben looked like he was having a silent conversation with Taylor. “Feed her an actual meal. Not junk, okay?”
“I know that,” Taylor said evenly.
“Her bedtime’s eight,” Lucy said.
“I know,” Taylor said.
They discussed when and where they’d pick Hazel up and then we all said goodbye, Lucy thanking me even though I hadn’t done anything.
Ben just looked tired. I was extra polite as I wished them a good night because even though Taylor didn’t get on well with them, I still wanted them to like me, to approve of me even.
“‘Feed her an actual meal’” Taylor repeated after they’d gone. “Like I didn’t cook half the time at home, anyway.” He opened the fridge. “Chicken pasta okay with you?”
“Sure. Need me to help with anything?”
“Nah. Hazel will grate the cheese. She likes doing it for some reason. Just make sure she doesn’t scrape her fingers.”
Part of me wanted to insist that I do more, but Taylor was already moving around the kitchen with determination, and I didn’t want to get in his way.
Hazel sat at the coffee table and grated tasty cheese while I supervised and asked her questions about school and drawing and — okay, maybe this was a bit cheeky of me — about Taylor.
“Do you miss him?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said, concentrating on the cheese like grating it was her life’s purpose.
“Is he a good brother?”
Taylor gave me a narrow-eyed look from the kitchenette.
Hazel nodded. “Oh yes. He’s my favourite.”
“I’m your only brother,” Taylor said.
“Why do you like him so much?” I asked, and that set Hazel off on a long speech about how he helped her with her spelling homework and made her milkshakes and gave her piggy back rides and pushed her really high on the swing at the playground but then there was that one time when she jumped off and hurt her wrist and her parents told her she wasn’t allowed to go to the park with Taylor again.
Soon, dinner was ready and Hazel was in charge of sprinkling everyone’s bowl with cheese.
She ate the whole meal dutifully, though her serving was about a third of mine and Taylor’s.
I took everyone’s bowls and cutlery to the sink to wash up while Taylor asked Hazel if she’d had a wash that morning — she had — and that she could watch a movie before bed.
Taylor put on a kid’s film I hadn’t seen and we watched it all together, Hazel restlessly climbing the arm rest, Taylor in the middle, slightly leaning into me, his hair tickling my shoulder.
“Hazel can sleep in my bed,” he murmured, once the credits rolled.
“And you’ll share with me?”
He nodded.
“Sure.” I paused. “What if your parents ask?”
“They won’t. Or if they do, I’ll say I slept on the couch.” He pushed himself up to his feet and led Hazel to the bathroom where he ripped a new toothbrush from its packaging and handed it to her, warning her that his toothpaste would be a bit ‘spicy’.
While he set her up in his room, I crawled into bed, feeling a bit silly since it was so early, and through my window, I could hear my peers just beginning their night.
It was a Saturday and I was a university student.
I was supposed to be hitting bars and clubs and kissing strangers and making memories.
All I really wanted to do, though, was lie in bed with Taylor and talk.
I heard Taylor remind Hazel that if she wanted to wake up for the soccer game, she had to get a good night’s sleep. He wished her sweet dreams, and a moment later, he silently entered my bedroom.
I watched him strip off his clothes and pad across the carpet, slipping into the sheets, his leg brushing mine.
“Are you tired?” he asked.
I made a noncommittal sound.
“I know it’s early, but if Hazel knows we’re up in the living room, she’ll keep running out.”
“No, I don’t mind. It was nice meeting your family.”
Taylor made a sceptical noise. “If it wasn’t for Hazel, I would’ve said bye to Ben and Lucy and never spoken to them again as soon as I turned eighteen.”
“Really?”
“They wouldn’t have cared. They didn’t want me around, anyway.”
I opened my mouth to say I’m sure that’s not true, but what did I know? “I’m sorry,” I said instead.
“It’s not a big deal,” Taylor muttered. “Also, I don’t need your pity.”
“It’s not pity,” I said. “It’s just — you deserve better.”
Taylor fixed his eyes on the ceiling. “I’m not entitled to —”
I pulled him into my chest, cutting him off. “Yeah you are,” I said with finality.
He was very still. His exhale misted against my sternum.
“I wish you had my parents,” I said. If it’d been my parents who visited, everything would’ve been different.
They’d have asked Taylor a million questions and invited him to lunch and lavished so many compliments on him, I’d feel like I was born into Taylor King’s number one fan club.
And then, for the next three months, every time I called home Mum would refer to Taylor as that ‘polite, handsome boy’ and I’d have to endure it.
Taylor pulled away. “Eugh,” he said.
“‘Eugh?’ What the heck do you mean, ‘eugh?’ My parents are great.”
“Yeah but if they were my parents too, that’d make me your brother and — eugh.”
“Not necessarily,” I pointed out. “They could be your parents through marriage.” I cringed as soon as the words had left my mouth.
“Tempting offer,” Taylor said.
“Shut up,” I said. “I didn’t mean —”
“I’m serious.”
My heart stopped. “About what? Marrying me?”
“I’d consider it.” An excruciatingly pause. “Your parents seem…really kind.”
I let out a slow, steadying breath. “They are. They’re great.”
He stretched his limbs out, toes brushing over the arch of my feet, his shoulder rubbing against my arm. We were quiet for a long moment. Laughter echoed from outside, but in this room, everything was so…peaceful.
“It’s weird seeing you with Hazel,” I said.
“How?”
I turned to look at him. “Well,” I began, “I didn’t even know you had a sister until a few weeks ago. And also…I dunno. You’re so nice to her.”
I sensed he was rolling his eyes. “Of course I’m nice to her. She’s my sister. She’s also six.”
“I guess I just never imagined seeing you be nice to anyone,” I say.
“Thanks.” His voice was clipped.
Fuck. “Maybe ‘nice’ isn’t the right word,” I said. “I mean…you really love her.”
“Why do you sound so surprised?” he asked. “Oh, right. You think I’m incapable.”
“No, I —” I stopped short. “I don’t think that,” I said quietly.
I had spent a long time thinking Taylor was nothing but arrogant and cruel. But he wasn’t like that, not really.
Maybe I’d misjudged him. Or maybe I’d judged him perfectly when we’d been in high school, and all he’d done was smirk at me with his arms crossed.
But you couldn’t hide and pretend when you lived with someone.
When you saw them every day. When you saw them naked and saw them asleep and saw them angry and saw them laughing.
Taylor was lying very still. I put a hand on his, testing, wondering if he’d flinch away. He didn’t. So I rolled him around and made him the little spoon and pressed my nose against the back of his neck and he let me, and we fell asleep like that.