Chapter 36
PENN
“Give me that!” I demand as Hazel walks out of her bedroom with a massive box balanced precariously in her arms.
She peeks out over the top of the box, shooting me a sassy grin. “You forgot the magic word.”
“Fine. Give me that, now.” I smirk at my girlfriend, taking the huge box out of her arms before she can protest. It’s as heavy as it looks, and I’m impressed she was able to pick it up in the first place—Hazel is nothing if not determined.
But as much as I adore that about her, it’s part of my job to carry heavy shit for her, dammit.
“I could have managed by myself,” Hazel grouches.
My grin widens. “I don’t doubt that for a second. The thing is, you no longer have to manage by yourself. We’re a team now—you’re the brains, and I’m the brawn of this operation, whether you like it or not.”
Hazel laughs, but her green eyes glaze over. “I want to tell you that’s sexist, but holding that heavy box is making your forearms look extra sexy, so I won’t argue.”
“Good girl,” I say, flexing my forearms because I exist to impress Hazel Palmer.
It’s been just over a week since we got in my truck and left Sacramento together, leaving all of the noise and drama behind us.
On the ride home, I explained that my dad is a violent criminal who’s been in and out of jail my whole life.
Then I told Hazel the truth about that night.
How I made the decision to turn my back on my team and ditch the game to give my dad a ride, but he was attempting to skip town after looting a jewelry store—something I didn’t realize until the cops surrounded us a few minutes later outside the school.
My dad resisted arrest and assaulted one of the cops.
Then tried to pin his crime on me, claiming I’d robbed the store.
This all went down in front of hundreds of other students, and families of my teammates who were making their way into the arena to watch the game. Tori was among them—and she went to Chadwick for comfort.
But worse, Cassie was there. I’ll never forget the look on my sister’s face as I was handcuffed and pushed into a cop car. Confused about where I was going and scared to go back to our foster placement alone, Cassie ran away and ended up lost and alone on the streets for hours.
After that, I was terrified of turning out like my father, but also afraid of showing love to anyone, of letting myself feel that emotion, in case I screwed up and let everyone down again.
Hazel listened to everything without a hint of judgment in her eyes. She said she was simply happy I shared, and that she’d been sad I hadn’t felt comfortable telling her before.
“What are you smiling about?” She asks me now, looking at me with her hands on her hips.
“You,” I reply simply, and she laughs in delight.
Being with a woman who doesn’t judge me for my past has my head and my heart ready to move forward in life in a way I haven’t felt before…
it’s like my nervous system was looking for permission, looking for the person who would show me the love and understanding I needed to forgive myself and fully move on.
To believe in myself as both a person and a partner who is capable of loving someone well.
Now I can focus all of my energy into enjoying every second of moving forward with Hazel without being stuck in the past.
“I can’t believe you’re no longer going to be my downstairs neighbor,” I say as I walk through the apartment and place the box at the front door next to the others. “I feel like this all happened so fast.”
“Same.” Hazel tilts her chin up to look at me. “But I’m excited for a fresh start, to live in a place that feels like it’s mine.”
After we got home last week, Hazel told Chadwick’s aunt and uncle—who own the apartment she lives in—that she was moving out and could no longer house-sit for them. She said she wanted a clean break from Chadwick, and living somewhere he had a key to was obviously not ideal.
“I’m excited for you, too. But who’s going to knock on my door and complain about my music now?”
“I’ll have to tell Jeffrey and Violet to make sure they sell this place to someone who’s home all the time and hates any noise whatsoever,” Hazel says with a laugh. “Can’t have you getting too big for your boots up there in the penthouse.”
I lean down and kiss her. “Nah, I’m planning to spend most of my time slumming it down in 1F across the street from now on. I heard there’s a really hot new tenant moving in there.”
“Make that two hot new tenants,” Hazel says, waggling her eyebrows at me.
“Please don’t put yourself in the same category of hotness as a tarantula, Bubbles.” I try not to gag as I look at Fluffy, sitting in her terrarium on the kitchen counter and staring right at me with her multiple creepy black eyes. “I still can’t believe you’re bringing that thing with you.”
“She had nowhere else to go, what was I meant to do, surrender her to an animal shelter?”
“Or you could have just, like, flushed her down the toilet or something,” I reply, but I’m laughing.
As it turns out, Chadwick’s aunt and uncle decided a while back that they wanted to relocate to Tokyo permanently, but hadn’t put their place on the market yet because they didn’t want to leave Hazel stranded…
and they didn’t know what they’d do with Fluffy.
So, Hazel came to the rescue and adopted the disgusting thing.
Said she’d grown fond of it. That’s Hazel—she’s able to look past appearances and see the best in others.
Even spiders, apparently.
“Knock, knock!” The door to 2B opens and Fisher strides in wearing a sleeveless muscle shirt and a huge grin. Noah and Ally are both behind him. “The big guns have finally arrived.”
Ally rolls her eyes with a laugh as she steps around Fisher and moves to Hazel, pulling her into a side hug with one arm and holding up a huge paper grocery bag with the other.
“Noah and Fishy are the extra muscle, I’m on moral support duty.
I made a great Spotify moving day playlist and brought lots of snacks to fuel us. ”
Hazel glances into the bag and laughs. “Do twenty bags of Nerds Gummy Clusters really count as fuel?”
“Yes,” me, Fisher, and Ally all say in unison. Noah shakes his head like he can’t believe he’s friends with us and Hazel laughs, her cheeks pink and glowing.
“Seriously, you guys, thank you all for taking up your Saturday to help me,” she says with a big grin.
Noah frowns, looking almost confused. “What else would we do today? Sit on our asses at home and let you and Penn do all this alone?”
“Downsby’s right,” Fisher adds. “You might be dating Matthews, Hazel…but you get all of us as part of the package deal.”
Hazel flushes. “You guys are the best.”
Ally bumps her hip against Hazel’s. “That’s what friends are for.”
Ally connects her phone to a portable speaker and cranks some feel-good pop music, and the five of us get to work. Us guys lug the heavy boxes out into the elevator while Hazel works on packing up the bathroom and Ally starts cleaning.
As I work up a sweat—and an appetite—I constantly sneak glances at Hazel. Something else also builds inside of me: a feeling of complete and total contentment. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than in this moment, with these people.
Five sweaty hours later, everything is moved into Hazel’s new apartment across the street.
“We did it!” Hazel cheers when I carry the last box into her new place.
The apartment is shoebox-sized—which is made all the more obvious with three hockey players currently crammed into the tiny kitchen—but it’s cozy and Hazel looks so damn happy, a beaming smile on her face as she spins in a circle to take in her new surroundings.
“Thanks again, everyone. Pizza is on me tonight.”
Noah sinks down onto a moving box, using it as a makeshift chair and sliding his phone out of his pocket. Ally sits on his lap with a sigh.
“Perfect. Let’s order, I’m starving,” Noah says.
Ally grabs for Noah’s phone. “Noooo, let me do it! I need to know the pizza will arrive loaded with pepperoni and sausage…not just veggies.”
Fisher chuckles at her comment as he opens the fridge. “I think this occasion calls for a housewarming toast!”
I’m expecting him to produce a bottle of champagne, but he smirks as he pulls out a bottle of Patron and a couple of limes instead. He raises his brows at Hazel. “You want Matthews to christen your new apartment with another body shot?”
Hazel nods to the spider in the corner. “Not in front of Fluffy, we don’t want to ruin her innocence.”
I grin deviously as I reach out and pull Hazel into my arms, snaking them around her stomach before lowering my mouth to her neck.
I press a kiss to her pulse point, reveling in her resulting shiver.
“How about we just do regular shots for now and christen the apartment later?” I ask, my voice coming out like gravel.
The warmth of Hazel’s smile radiates through me. “I like the sound of that.”
Fisher starts rummaging through the first box he sees. “Hazel, where did you pack your shot glasses?”
“Um, I don’t own shot glasses.”
Fisher stares at her like she just spoke in Klingon or something and I crack up laughing as he looks in the box again. He shrugs, removing five coffee mugs then lining them up on the counter to fill with tequila.
When he’s done pouring, I hand everyone a mug and we all stand in a circle, raising them in the air. The feeling that’s been growing inside me all day swells until I’m ready to burst.
Growing up, I never could’ve dreamed of the life I have now—living in a swanky penthouse and playing in the NHL.
But more than that, I would have never dared to dream of the love I have in my life now.
My heart is filled with love. I have the best friends ever.
My little sister is close by and living out her college dreams. And I’ve fallen head over heels with the hottest, smartest woman ever—who against all odds, loves me back.
Sure, we still have baggage from the past to unpack and family drama to process, but the most important thing is that we have each other’s support through it all.
It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it.
Every challenge is worth overcoming to have Hazel by my side… to be able to call her mine.
“To Hazel’s new place!” Fisher toasts.
Ally grins. “To friendship.”
“To this being the one and only tequila shot I’m taking in the next year,” Noah says mournfully, making a face at his mug.
“To fresh starts,” Hazel adds, looking at me softly.
I smile. “To love, and being loved.”
“You guys make me sick,” Fisher announces.
We all crack up again as Hazel’s hand slides into mine and she interlocks our fingers and squeezes.
I squeeze back, not letting go as we take our shots.
Because now that I understand what love really is, now that I’ve broken down my walls and allowed myself to feel worthy of both giving and receiving it…
I’m never going to let it go. I’ll spend my life loving Hazel in every thought, word, and action.
Showing her she’s loved as well as telling her.
Every damn day until the end of forever.