Chapter 37
T here was no hiding the responding blush, as Arthur was already feeling entirely too discomposed to rein in the emotion.
One of the young girls, who looked to be around six or seven, came to her uncle’s side and tugged his frockcoat. “Will you play for us again?”
Finch glanced at Arthur with a look rife with speculation and then shook his head. “Not right now, Ginny. Perhaps Joan will play for you.”
That was all the suggestion it took for her to spin about and grab her twin by the hand before accosting their eldest sister with pleas for music. Before Arthur could take his previous seat, Finch nodded toward the far end of the room, where a few armchairs sat forlornly. The pianoforte began playing once more, accompanied by the giggles of the two young girls, which made it easy enough for Arthur and Finch to have a modicum of privacy.
“Now, what has you looking so sour?” asked Finch with a frown.
“I overheard your wife and Miss Templeton speaking,” said Arthur as they took their seats. The lady’s words rested heavily in his heart and mind, making it impossible for him to think of anything else. And for once, his tongue loosened. “She’s leaving Oakham. It seems I am driving her from her home.”
“That is sad, to be certain, but you’ve known that was a possibility for some time,” said Finch with a knowing glint in his eye. “Why is it troubling you now?”
“I… She…” Apparently, his loosened tongue still had its limits for Arthur struggled with what to say. Fighting through it, he settled on, “I like her.”
“Of course you do,” said Finch with a chuckle. “It’s clear to anyone who bothers to look. I’m surprised Miss Templeton was able to convince any of the ladies in town you were enamored with them when your heart is already lost.”
Though the words were meant to comfort or even tease, Arthur’s chest constricted at that thought. Beyond the obligatory discomfort that caused a flush to steal over him and his palms to sweat, the pain of Miss Templeton’s exclamation rang anew through him.
“Please do not say that!”
That had been her reaction when faced with speculation about the pair of them, yet was it any wonder that Miss Templeton’s feelings were so very adamant when she’d declared her disinterest in marriage altogether? Was it Arthur Vaughn who was so abhorrent? Or marriage in general? Did it matter? If the lady did not desire a husband, the question was moot.
Arthur was no stranger to pining from afar. The entirety of his experience with ladies consisted of longing and inaction. Yet it was different with Miss Templeton. Of course, he’d never come to know any of the others so well as he did her, but he felt a profound disparity between those flirtations and this.
Miss Templeton was capable and lovely. She possessed a temper and a sharp tongue at times, but she was kind to the core, and though her behavior of late carried many black marks against her, he couldn’t blame the lady for being out of sorts, as his appearance in town had thrown her world into a tizzy .
Thinking back to their first meeting—before she’d labeled him an enemy to her family’s security—Arthur knew that was the true Miss Templeton.
The lady who offered her cloak without a second thought to provide an injured man with protection from the ground. Clothes were a pricy commodity, and if Arthur hazarded to guess, he would wager she’d ruined all her clothes that day. In fact, he hadn’t seen her with a cloak since then, though the weather was chilly enough to warrant one.
The lady who’d thrown herself into assisting him, going so far as to protect her patient from inferior hands. Intelligent and thoughtful, doing as much as she could to ensure that Mr. Evans was provided his best chance to survive, and his family was prepared to aid in his recovery. Giving him medicines without hesitation or demanding compensation.
All without a second thought. And while the onlookers sneered at “Mr.” Templeton.
Then there was the lady at the assembly. Who, despite knowing him to be her enemy, did her best to set him at ease amongst the strangers, engaging him in conversation and even offering advice simply because she could not help helping.
And those actions matched those of the Miss Templeton of late, who was not content to merely give over a wealth of medicines in recompense but repaired his medical bag. Who admitted her mistakes openly and did what she could to make amends. Arthur doubted he would’ve been strong enough to openly apologize to the likes of Miss Bacon.
This incredible woman had captured his heart without desiring his in return.
“I like her for you. You need someone with fire,” said Finch, though he stopped short as he scrutinized Arthur. “So, what is the trouble?”
“Beyond the fact that my very existence here is harming her family?” he replied in a dry tone.
Drawing in a sharp breath, Arthur sighed, his shoulders falling. “I’ve spent weeks mulling it over, but no solution has presented itself that allows both myself and the Templetons to remain in Oakham together. I’ve looked at other towns in the area, but it’s impossible to expand into other locations, as they have neither the population nor easy access to a town of Bentmoor’s size. I can forage or grow many of the herbs I require, but there are many ingredients I have to order, and without a market town on hand, my supply costs will rise, making it difficult to remain solvent.”
“But even if you leave, it will not fix matters for the Templetons,” said Finch with a frown. “They are a good family, but we require a proper physician—”
“Can you not leave things be?” asked Arthur, leaning forward. “Though Mr. Templeton is lazy and has a penchant for gouging his patients—something that is so commonplace in London that no one would think twice of what he’s done, I might add—he is a decent physician when he applies himself. And with Miss Templeton managing the apothecary side, Oakham’s access to medicine is a far sight better than many places.”
“But I am not content with a ‘far sight better,’” replied Finch with a frown.
“I think you put too high a store in medicine.”
The gentleman’s brows rose. “So says the doctor.”
Arthur nodded. “I know my profession well, and I know how much of our work is guesswork. At times, it seems as though there is no rhyme or reason to why certain treatments work in one case and not in another. We speak as though we know, but the more I study it, the more I fear we are stumbling around in the dark.”
“That is not comforting to hear when my wife is in a crisis,” said Finch with a bleak frown.
“I do not mean to worry you, but the truth is that I think your fears over the health and safety of the town are perceived more than real,” said Arthur. “If Mr. Templeton were a quack, I would have no qualms running him from town, but between him and his sister, the town is thriving. I do not think you need someone ‘better.’ In many ways, her work is more important than his, and I doubt you will find anyone willing to settle here who would outstrip Miss Templeton’s skill. Few men of my training and skill would deign to settle in such a quiet place.”
With a heavy sigh, Finch said, “I appreciate your opinion on the matter. I do. And perhaps you are right, but I do not want to hand my family over to someone I cannot implicitly trust.”
Arthur sagged back into his seat as his gaze rose to the ceiling, his eyes tracing the plaster scrollwork. “Then lure another physician to Oakham, but I will not be the cause of the Templetons’ ruination. I cannot. I came to establish a life, not to destroy another’s.”
The conversation lapsed, though there was a fair amount of noise in the room to keep it from being silent. The eldest Finch daughter continued to play tune after tune whilst her sisters laughed and danced about before pressing their brothers into service (though the eldest boy was of an age that no amount of pleas could entice him to besmirch his manhood with such foolishness).
“So, you are leaving?” asked Finch, drawing Arthur’s attention back.
“I gave my word I would deliver your child. I will stay a little longer to ensure your wife and the babe are faring well, but I think I ought to return to London. I can work with my father and brother for a bit whilst I look for a new situation.”
Finch replied with a contemplative hum, and Arthur ignored the speculative look the gentleman settled on him.
“You’re going to leave her ?” The question was stated with all the delicate care of one wishing to insinuate whilst having very little faith that his meaning would be understood.
Giving a mirthless chuckle, Arthur shook his head. “You and your wife are a pair of busybodies, determined to muck about in others’ courtships.”
Finch straightened. “Are you two courting?”
Arthur sank lower into his seat. “I just overheard your wife asking Miss Templeton the same thing. It seems that to help her family, she is taking a position as a governess, which will take her far from Oakham.”
“I can think of another position she could take that would serve the same purpose,” said Finch with another of his subtle tones. But to ensure Arthur comprehended the meaning, he added, “A physician could use a wife who knows about medicine.”
“No doubt a physician would welcome such a perfectly suited wife, but not when the lady is opposed to marriage.” Though he tried to hide it, his words were steeped in the disappointment weighing down his heart. Arthur had hoped speaking might provide some solace, but voicing it only allowed that hopelessness to spread throughout him.
“She said that?” asked Finch.
“We were speaking the other day, and she was very adamant about not requiring romance or marriage. She was emphatic about it,” said Arthur with a frown. “And just now she seemed especially appalled at your wife’s speculations about the pair of us.”
“Is it any wonder after all the troubles you’ve had because of people gossiping about your romantic life?”
Arthur paused and considered that. “I didn’t hear the whole of their conversation, though she might’ve mentioned something of that nature. But it doesn’t negate the fact that I asked her if she ever wished to marry, and she dismissed the idea.”
Finch gave another ponderous sound, his eyes roving the group as he considered the situation, though Arthur didn’t know what there was to consider. The course was laid before him, and whether or not he wished it differently, he would soldier on. Miss Templeton had taught him to be more comfortable around ladies, which meant he might be able to talk to one in the future.
A snide laugh echoed in his thoughts: nothing had truly changed. Miss Templeton was an anomaly, and he was no better at speaking with the fairer sex than before .
“Have you spoken with her about your feelings?” asked Finch.
Even now, heat flowed through him, making it difficult to speak—even to a friend whom he trusted not to reveal this conversation to anyone else. But Finch didn’t seem to require an answer.
“You ought to.” Finch gave him an apologetic smile and added, “Heaven knows I am not a prime example of laying myself bare to my sweetheart, but when it comes to love, I fear it’s the only way to win the day. You cannot hope to secure a lady’s heart if you hide yours.”
“What good would it do if she’s made up her mind about matrimony?” Arthur couldn’t help the bleakness in his tone.
Shifting in his seat, Finch leaned closer to Arthur, his eyes full of empathy. “You knew me before my marriage. Did I seem the slightest bit interested in settling down?”
“Not at all,” said Arthur, rubbing at his forehead. “You think finding the right person might change Miss Templeton’s mind as it did yours?”
“There was no mind to change.” With a sigh, Finch settled back into his seat as his forehead creased. “Though it’s not fashionable for young men to claim, I wanted to marry and have a family. However, I didn’t think it possible since I was living off a pittance with no hope of providing for them. The only way for me to bear the sadness of that unfulfilled dream was to banish it from my thoughts. To feign indifference. To fixate on it would’ve only made my life a misery.”
Now it was Arthur’s turn to hum as he considered that.
“When I met Felicity, I didn’t think we could be together because I had nothing to offer her. Even after I discovered she was an heiress, I didn’t think myself worthy of her.” Finch’s eyes fell to the ground, and in a quiet voice that Arthur didn’t think he was intended to hear, the gentleman added, “I still am not certain I am.”
Drawing in a deep breath, Finch turned his gaze back to his friend and added, “People often say things they don’t truly mean to hide their vulnerabilities. And you won’t know the full truth until you speak to her. It isn’t easy, but even if she were to reject you, would you feel any worse than you do now?”
Those words settled in Arthur’s mind as he considered that. While there was a vast difference between suspecting a thing and hearing it outright, was there any true risk involved in speaking to her? He already felt wretched, but if there was a possibility that her opinions were based on a misunderstanding, then all hope may not be lost.
“Do not decide for her, Arthur.”
With that final advice, Finch rose to his feet and joined the rest of his family. All that had happened and all that may happen settled into Arthur’s thoughts as he considered the advice. He’d be a fool to allow Miss Templeton to slip through his fingers. Yet wouldn’t he be a fool to approach a lady who had already stated that she wasn’t interested in marriage or him?
Those questions swirled about his mind, churning up the possibilities of what may occur with either decision, and Arthur didn’t know how long he sat there before Miss Templeton hurried into the room.
“I think it is time,” she said before spinning around and going back to the lying-in chamber with Arthur and Finch fast on her heels.