Chapter 41
H ow did one go about reshaping the truths one knew? Lessons hard earned through years of repetition and reinforcement balked at the words flowing from Dr. Vaughn’s lips, and Violet stood there, staring at the fellow, unable to truly comprehend that which flew in the face of what she knew to be fact.
Brows pinched together, she whispered in an unsteady voice, “I am not the sort of lady who inspires love.”
Dr. Vaughn sighed, a hint of sorrow dimming the rich blue of his eyes, though they gazed upon her as tenderly as any man ever had gazed upon a lady. They pierced straight through her, reaching past her defenses to wrap around her heart.
“I cannot speak for any other man, Miss Templeton but I am certain about what I feel. I love you.”
Those three words sent shivers down her spine, settling into her chest before rippling outward in a wave of heat. Though Violet knew she couldn’t trust herself entirely to interpret a man’s actions, it was impossible to deny that bold statement and the certainty that echoed in his expression. Despite her best attempts, she couldn’t think of another way to interpret Dr. Vaughn’s feelings other than love .
Could it be true?
That one thought unlocked the chains that she’d settled firmly around her hopes, releasing the feelings she’d refused to acknowledge from the moment he’d appeared at the house with flowers in hand and a warrior’s soul, demanding that Mr. Timms and Mr. Sprat treat her with respect. Violet hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it then or any of the other times Dr. Vaughn had swept into her world with that sweetness of temper that lifted her spirits—but that hadn’t stopped her feelings from cultivating in the shadows, hidden and out of sight.
Now unbridled, yearning swept through her like a forest fire, drawing with it a sheen of tears that she fought against, but the emotions surging through her could not be contained any further.
“I love you.” Violet’s eyes widened, her muscles tightening as she realized that the words had forced themselves out.
Dr. Vaughn’s brows shot up, his posture mirroring hers as he stared back at her. “You do?”
Her heart crumpled at the sight of her vulnerabilities and doubts echoed in him. Violet knew enough of his history to suspect there were a great many wounds he nursed, and her heart throbbed at the thought that such an incredible person would have reason to question whether she loved him.
“Of course I do, how could I not?” The question burst out of her as a shout, and before she could do a thing about it, tears flooded her vision and coursed down her cheeks. Ninny! She hated that her emotions broke free of their dam once more, and most especially that he was to witness yet another surge. Could she never speak to him of sensitive subjects and not fall to pieces? But now that it had begun, she couldn’t stop.
“You are wonderful—and kind—and patient—and forgiving—and—and—and—” Her breaths grew ragged as she struggled to list all the reasons why any woman with an ounce of sense would count herself lucky to win his heart.
And then arms came around her, drawing her into him. That blend of herbs and cinnamon filled her nose, calming her as his hands rubbed at her back; his voice was a low rumble, murmuring to her as Violet tried to calm herself. Drawing her arms around his neck, she leaned her head against his as her breaths fought to steady.
“I am such a blubbering fool,” she whispered.
His voice was low, but it vibrated through her as his hands continued to rub gentle circles along her back. “No, Violet. You are someone who carries a mighty load and rarely has anyone willing to help you bear it up.”
Jerking backward, she looked into his eyes, her brows twisting together. “What did you call me?”
Had she not been so close, she might not have noticed the slight pinking in his cheeks. “I apologize for taking such a liberty—”
Violet shook her head. “No. You called me Violet. No one calls me Violet.”
“Do you prefer Vi?” he asked with a furrowed brow. “I know everyone else calls you such, but I like Violet. It is a beautiful name and is far better suited for you.”
Her lungs sucked in a sharp breath, and her chin trembled anew. “You think so?”
One hand left her back, rising to her cheek to brush a thumb there. His gaze studied her features with such intensity, as though every inch was deserving of such scrutiny, and though Violet could hardly believe it, the gentleman leaned closer as his eyes fell to her lips. Everything inside her stuttered, and the seconds slowed as he drew nearer.
At the last moment, Violet jerked back with a wince, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, she met Arthur’s gaze.
“Do you truly mean this?” she whispered, knowing full well that the fear that pulsed through her shone in her eyes and tone. “I cannot bear…My heart—I—”
The words stuck in her throat, but Arthur’s gaze softened once more, his thumb caressing her cheek as his lips drew into the sort of smile she had always longed to see. He knew. He understood. Violet felt it in her bones .
“I love you, Violet,” he whispered before leaning in to capture her lips in a kiss.
*
A grown man of two and thirty ought to know precisely how to kiss a lady, imbuing each touch with all the fervor of his heart. When approaching his lady love, a gentleman didn’t quiver or quake; no, he embraced the moment—and his sweetheart—showing her the depth of his affection with ease. But then, Arthur was beginning to realize that so much of his life did not align with what it “ought” to be.
Holding Violet in his arms, he gently brought his lips to hers, hoping that some instinct would surge to the forefront and guide his actions. He felt her matching tentativeness in her touches, and though his nerves begged him to retreat before he made a fool of himself, he couldn’t help but revel in the wonder that was her lips.
The movements were awkward at first, but Arthur refused to listen to the voice that criticized each one, and all thought vanished when her fingers brushed along the edge of his collar, tickling the back of his neck; awareness struck as her touch drifted into his thinning hair, and Arthur stiffened—only to relax as she hummed with pleasure. Heat surged through his veins, and he surrendered to the feeling, casting everything else aside as he reveled in the feel of Violet in his arms.
Whether unpracticed or ungainly, the kiss meant far more than the mere act itself. After weeks of stumbling about, they were together now. No more misunderstandings or mistakes. Simply Arthur and Violet. Sweethearts.
Arthur forced himself to pull away, his breaths coming quickly as his hands rested on her hips. Violet stood flush to him, her eyes almost dazed as a dreamy smile lifted her lips. No, she was not some tiny creature who gazed up at him or rested her head against his chest, and Arthur didn’t know why any gentleman would wish for such a thing. Violet filled his arms, melding together with him perfectly .
Surprise flashed in her eyes, and she straightened, her brows knitting together as her tears gathered once more. Arthur stiffened, but before he could say anything, she waved it away.
“Don’t mind me. I am just being silly,” she whispered.
“What about?”
A self-deprecating smile brightened the shimmers in her eyes. “I just realized that I have waited so many years to be courted, and I didn’t even recognize what was happening. I missed it all, went straight from spinster to engaged.”
Arthur’s arms clamped tightly around her, and he fought to keep his expression clear, though her statement sent a shock of cold washing through him.
Engaged? He hadn’t proposed. Or he hadn’t thought so. Scouring his memories of the past few minutes, he tried to sort through his words, but he couldn’t think of anything he’d said to imply marriage at this juncture. Yes, he loved her. That was true. But whatever his feelings, they’d known each other for such a short time, and it was far too soon to make an irrevocable choice.
Wasn’t it?
Laughing to herself, Violet leaned in once more, nestling her head into the crook of his shoulder with a sigh that tickled his jaw, and Arthur tightened his arms around her.
What more did he need to know about her? He’d seen her at her best and worst. Yes, Violet was flawed, but were any of those failings great enough for him to cast her aside? Having been on the receiving end of those shortcomings over the past weeks, Arthur could say for certain that they weren’t. At times, her actions hurt him deeply, yet they hadn’t altered his feelings for her.
Violet shared his dream and was willing to sacrifice for it. For him. And from the way his heart had been paining him of late, it was clear that he didn’t believe another lady would ever suit him as well.
So, what did it matter ?
Arthur’s brows rose at that, and he smiled to himself. He’d begun courting her without her realizing it, and they got engaged without his knowing it. Rather fitting.
*
Holding him so tightly, Violet felt Arthur’s laughter more than she heard it, and she smiled to herself. The feeling spread through her, bringing more silly tears to her eyes, but she couldn’t help them any more than she could help the ones before.
Arthur’s voice rang in her thoughts again. “You are someone who carries a mighty load and rarely has anyone willing to help you bear it up.” Despite having a lot of practice at guarding her emotions, Violet couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. Not with Arthur.
“Do you wish to delay the engagement so you can enjoy a proper courtship?” His voice was a deep rumble in her ear, drawing a larger grin from her.
For the briefest of moments, Violet wondered if he was asking because he wished to delay it. A wave of doubt swept through her, but she batted it away. A gentleman didn’t kiss a lady in that manner or call her by her given name if he didn’t intend to marry her, and with those assurances clearing her thoughts, she acknowledged that his tone was merely curious.
“Of course not,” she said with a huff before straightening enough to look him in the eyes. With one arm hooked around his neck, Violet rested her other hand on his waistcoat as her fingers traced the edges of his cravat. “I am being silly, that is all. I had such fantasies about what it would be like to be courted, but I would much rather marry you tomorrow than delay it for my vanity.”
“It isn’t vanity, Violet,” he said, and her heart fluttered in her chest at the sound of her name—her proper name—being spoken with such sweetness. And he thought the name suited her .
Turning her gaze to his chest, she felt her eyes prickle again, and she let out a sharp huff and shook them off. His hand nudged her chin to meet his gaze, and she gave herself a derisive scoff once more.
“Do not mind me. Being in love has made me a silly woman who is constantly overcome by anything remotely tender.”
Arthur’s brows rose at that, and his lips turned into a pleased grin. “Is that so? Well then, I must tell you that you haven’t missed out on anything, Violet Templeton, for I plan to woo you for the rest of our lives.”
Violet forced herself to remain strong against that, though her heart was doing its best to wrestle out of her control, and warmth spread through her with such fervor that she was certain she might just turn into a jelly in his arms.
“Is that so?” she echoed, though it was far less saucy than intended.
“Yes, indeed,” he said, drawing so close that his lips brushed hers.
At that moment, a doubt niggled its way into her thoughts, demanding that she say something. Violet shrugged it aside. It wasn’t important. It wasn’t. Yet Arthur’s dream resurfaced in her mind as vibrant as reality, and she knew just how important it was to him.
“Are you certain you want me?” she asked, forcing the question she didn’t wish to ask. Arthur stared at her, and Violet forged ahead. “In your dream, you want a large family. I am too—” Her throat clamped shut, and she winced, drawing in a deep breath before wrestling the words out. “I am two and thirty, Arthur. I am too old to give you what you want.”
“I want you more,” he whispered as his hand rose to caress her cheek again, and Violet melted into the touch.
Seizing hold of the urge, she leaned into him, capturing his lips in a kiss with a confidence she never realized she possessed, but with Arthur’s assurances ringing through her, Violet felt the last of her reservations melting away. Though she knew they were unlikely to vanish entirely after a lifetime in her heart, she refused to let them have free rein any longer.
Arthur was hers, and she wasn’t going to let her foolishness stand in the way of their happiness.
When they parted, Violet’s heart twittered in her chest at the satisfied expression on her husband-to-be’s face. Arthur looked as though this was the greatest joy possible for a man to achieve, and she supposed it was true in his eyes, but she couldn’t help but think that no woman in the world was as lucky as she for having secured his heart.
“I suppose we ought to unpack your things,” she said with a chuckle, but Arthur’s expression sobered.
“Nothing has changed, Violet. If I remain, your family will be beggared.” He paused, his eyes dropping from her as the signs of his nerves resurfaced again, pulling at his lips. The sight pained her, and Violet longed to wipe them away. “I—”
Taking his face in her hands, she lifted his gaze to hers. “Tell me, Arthur.”
“But I do not want to take you away from your home, Violet.”
“I want you more,” she said as her hands settled around his neck once more.
Considering the entirety of all that had happened of late, Violet’s heart lightened at the thought that she might be free of the history that clung to every corner of Oakham. “Besides, I wish to leave. This doesn’t feel like my home anymore, and with everything that has happened of late, I long to try someplace new where I am known not for my family’s sake but my own.”
Arthur’s brows rose. “Then we will go together?”
Pressing a quick kiss to his lips, Violet leaned close, holding fast to him as she whispered, “We will start a new life in a cottage in a quiet village, that desperately needs your skills—”
“And yours,” he whispered.
“And mine.” Violet’s grin broadened. “With a large garden.”
“And beehives. ”
Violet laughed and did the only thing one could do when in the grip of such happiness. Straightening, she held his gaze whilst leaning close to him, reveling in the eager light that entered his eyes as she pressed her lips to his.