Chapter Twenty-two
R iver has stayed with me for the past four nights. I’d woken this morning in his arms, comfortable, warm and yet a panic has set in.
What happens when this is over?
What happens when my parents come back and I’m no longer free? This sense of freedom, this lightness inside of me will soon fade the moment they come back in a week. The cage doors will lock tight, and I’ll have nothing left.
River left this morning, through the window even though I’d told him he could walk out the front door, but he’d jokingly said he was doing it to get used to it since he’d be doing it for the foreseeable future, especially when my parents came back, and I wasn’t to be so easily accessible. Even he knows this will become more difficult soon enough.
We’ve eaten takeout every night, he’s ordered something different for me so I could try it, picking out his favorites from the menu to be delivered and has watched me every time I tried it. He knew instantly if I didn’t like something, I don’t know how, but he did. He took it away and handed me something new, keeping it up until my reaction to the taste satisfied him.
We haven’t kissed since that first time, at least not in the same way. He’s kissed my cheek, my shoulder, my neck and hand, but never my mouth. And I wake every morning to the feel of his hardness pressing against my backside, but he just rolls over and pretends like it isn’t there before he disappears into the bathroom and then leaves for the day.
It only leaves me aching more. I cannot satisfy it, no matter how hard I try, and I have tried . So now I’m walking around constantly thinking about it, knowing he feels the same way. How does he deal with it?
With a groan, I get out of bed and change into my bikini before I make my way downstairs and onto the patio, laying a towel down on one of the beds beside the pool. The sun heats my skin as I lay there, and I try to focus on my book, but it isn’t helping. I can’t take my damn mind off of it.
Could I just go over there?
Could I give it to him? Would he even want it?
I won’t get another chance of being this free, of being able to do this. But what if he rejects me?
He hasn’t kissed me since, so maybe he’s not into it as much as I am, but then why would he stay?
Fuck, I’m so damn inexperienced here and I have no idea what to do. I could ask Zara, but I feel like she’d try to talk me out of it. She doesn’t trust River, but I do. I don’t know why since I don’t even really know him, but I do trust him. I feel safe with him.
And it’s that thought that has me springing up from the sunbed and jogging through the house. I trust him, I trust him with this and if he doesn’t want it, then that’s okay. I’m willing to take that risk. I want him and I can’t deny it any longer.
I quickly change into a white and yellow sundress and brush out my hair before I slip my feet into a pair of sandals, grab a few things and the keys to my car.
The drive across town passes quickly and surprisingly, I remember the way to River’s garage easily. My tires crunch over the gravel in the lot outside, noticing the sliders are open but I can’t see him working.
Pulling to a stop, I take a breath and calm my nerves, pushing away the thoughts that I’m too much, too needy.
Stepping from the car, I square my shoulders and lift my chin, making my way toward the garage.
“River?” I call his name, but he doesn’t answer, and a quick scan shows he isn’t in the workshop, so I make my way towards the reception area.
Only I freeze in the door.
River is there but so is Rachel.
He’s got her wrists in his hands and while his face is thunderous, she’s all smiles and wide eyes. The door slams as I let it go, the shock making my arms weak. Both their heads whip toward me and a lead weight lands in my stomach.
“Oh,” I squeak out, humility making my cheeks burn and eyes sting. I’d thought it all wrong, read it all damn wrong. Shit, how could I have been so damn stupid?
“Oh look,” Rachel giggles, “It’s your rich bitch. Isn’t this a little awkward?”
“Marly,” River rushes my name out on a breath.
“I’m sorry,” I stammer out, “I was just, um, I was just here because I realized I didn’t pay for the food.” I choke out the excuse, “I wanted to pay you back.” I keep going and begin to dig into my purse, “Here.” Dropping the several hundred-dollar bills onto the counter, I turn around and start to flee. Of course, it was too much but I don’t have the capacity to work it out right now and honestly, he can keep it.
I feel so stupid.
Rachel’s laugh follows me as the door swings shut behind me, the sound like ice running down my spine.
“Shit!” River hisses but I’m not stopping for anything.
I’m halfway to my car when I hear him.
“Marly! Wait!” He yells.
But my feet keep moving, my knees wobbling. It’s not even a big deal. So what, we’ve spent the last few nights together? So what, we kissed and it felt like the earth stopped spinning?
I’m just the girl from the other side of the track, I’m not from his world, of course he would want someone like Rachel.
The first tear slips down my cheek and I can’t tell if it’s from sadness or embarrassment.
“Marly,” River is close as I rip the car door open but right before I’m able to get around it, the door slams shut and I jump back to save my fingers from being trapped. “Princess, it isn’t what it looks like.”
I swat at the tears on my cheeks, “It’s none of my business.”
His face crumbles as he watches those tears fall, “Fuck, princess, it really isn’t what it looks like.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rachel sashay out of the garage, flicking her long black hair over her shoulder. She’s so pretty, so perfect, I shouldn’t be surprised.
Her hand slides over River’s shoulder as she grins at me, “Everything okay, Mary?”
My teeth snap together.
“Fuck off, Rachel,” River bites, snatching out of her hold.
Rachel doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest, “Nice car. Daddy buy it for you?” She asks me directly before she pulls a set of keys from her pocket and openly slides it down the paintwork of my car. “Oops.”
River snaps so suddenly I can’t even react to the vandalism. The broken arm was one thing, but this, this is a whole new side. He doesn’t show the anger, his exterior is calm, collected but every part of him is rigid as he glares at Rachel.
“I don’t give a shit who you are,” He growls, his voice steady, “I will bury you in the fucking woods. Get the fuck off my property before I do something neither of us will come back from.”
Rachel’s face drops, “River…”
“You and I, we are not a thing. We have never been a thing so whatever twisted little game you think you are playing; you’ve lost. I don’t know how much clearer I can make it for you, I would rather slide my cock across a grater than put it in you.”
“But we’re–”
“Nothing,” He hisses. “We are nothing. Get the fuck off my land!”
“My car,” She stammers.
“I’ll have your brother bring it to you,” He grinds out, “Now go. I don’t care if you have to walk five fucking miles, get the fuck off my property.”
She scrambles away and with every minute that passes, he watches her leave, his face hard, the anger evident in the lines of his brow and the downturn of his mouth. When she is no longer in sight, his face softens, and he turns his attention to me.
“Tell me you’re still here, princess,” He pleads, “Tell me I haven’t lost you yet.”