Chapter Forty-one
I throw the bottle of beer over the edge, watching it fall several hundred feet and disappear into the trees below. It’s pitch black, the town is barely lit up ahead of me and only the stars accompany me. I reach for the sixth and last beer in the crate, popping the cap as I take a long, deep drink of it. The alcohol has done nothing to numb the raging war inside of me.
I contemplated going to the pits to fight but ultimately decided I didn’t want to be around anyone, even if beating the shit out of something would have likely quietened the emotion for a little while.
The image of Marly’s face haunts me, her tears and pain so vivid inside my head I wonder if I’ll ever be able to scrub them from memory. I know what I did is unforgivable, I know I humiliated her, but I snapped. I saw him, standing there, nonchalant, free, breathing and it all came back. And I hurt her thinking it would hurt him and it didn’t.
And it’s too late now.
I watched her fall in the mirror of my car as she chased me, begged me to stay and I still left. I left her.
My teeth grind so hard together my jaw aches.
There’s no fixing the pain I just inflicted; I may as well have slapped her across the face. Sadie called but when I didn’t pick up, she sent me a text just stating that she took Marly home and that I was a prick for what I had just done.
The kicker?
Your brother would be ashamed of you, River Sinclair.
He really fucking would be.
Sadie sliced me open with those words; they were just a text, but they may as well have been screamed at the top of her lungs for the whole town to hear.
I thought hurting her would heal something inside of my chest but all it’s done is split it right open. I hadn’t realized she had started to mend the fissures in my soul, had started to patch them together with every second we spent together.
I was so lost to my hatred and revenge I didn’t even notice I’d fallen in love with her.
Marly is not her father or her brother, she is nothing like them and I knew that from day one. But instead of allowing myself to feel, I focused on what she could give me.
And in the end, I didn’t get anything other than a feeling of utter emptiness and a bitter taste in my mouth. I’d resigned myself to believing that Liam and the Mayor would go on and get away with the destruction they caused and the only way I could get closure was if I lessened myself to be on their level. And I hurt the one person who had the power to put all those broken pieces back together.
I could go to her, try to explain, but I wouldn’t want to see me. Not after what I just did. I left her in the dirt, my come still in her panties and ran away.
Tipping the bottle back, I down the rest of the beer and drop it over the edge to join the last one, watching it fall until darkness swallows it. If only that same dark could swallow me too.
A branch snaps behind me, and I spin, finding Liam walking out of the trees. Despite the late hour he’s in a suit and looks pristine, reeking of money and privilege.
“You’re as pathetic as your brother,” He spits.
“The fuck are you doing here?” I step toward him, but I freeze when he points a gun in my direction.
“Careful, Sinclair,” He warns, “Or I’ll have you joining your brother in no time.”
Death didn’t scare me but that didn’t mean I wanted to die.
“Murder is how you like to handle your business?” I grit out.
“It has its charm but honestly, I don’t particularly want to deal with the mess it’ll bring so you’re going to listen to me.”
I tilt my chin up, hands balled up into fists at my side. He will shoot me; of that I have no doubt.
“There’s an order, River, there are us,” He waves the gun, referring to himself, “And then there is you. You are at the very bottom of this pyramid; do you understand that?”
I don’t answer him.
“You’ll stay away from my sister, River although I don’t really think I have to warn you, you did that damage all on your own.”
“You don’t care about her,” I snap.
“You’re right, I don’t,” He shrugs, “But she has her uses and now we are going to have to fix her up because of what you did. She’s no use if she is broken but I do really want to know, did you really believe you could hurt me with her? All it’s done is put a little bump in the road. This part of town will be gone in less than a year regardless.”
“If you think we will go willingly, you’re mistaken.”
“Your willingness isn’t a concern anymore.” He grins, “Go to the town square, Saturday morning at eleven. You’ll find out why.”
“Fuck you, Liam.”
He tucks the gun away, placing his hands in his pockets, “You should have burned with your brother, River.”
And with that, he turns and leaves. I hear the roar of his engine a few minutes later, leaving me alone once more.
I fucked up so bad and I don’t think this is something that can be fixed.