21. River #3
He’s definitely hiding something. He knows more than he lets on.
“What my family does will be your concern if you ever join the Bouchards,” Blaze says. “Which is never going to happen if we can’t trust you. You’re still all tied up with the Pavones.”
“Who says I want to join the Bouchards?” I ask, arching a brow, but I don’t have a future with the Pavones. That had ended when I’d hurt Pandora, when they’d cut off my finger for it. Maybe I should consider the Bouchards.
If I thought I could have a normal life after Dyschord, I would laugh in his face, but I don’t.
This is what I was born into, the environment I was raised in. Steeped in violence, kept locked inside of its strong arms, I’ve always known that I’m destined to become someone—in all the wrong ways.
Blaze pushes away from the door and closes in on me, like a shark that has smelled blood.
“You want to be Pandora’s lackey for the rest of your life?” Blaze whispers darkly. “You think she’ll ever repay you for how you simp for her? No. We’ve seen how she treats you, River. You’re a toy to her.”
I tense up, but I don’t pull away. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that his words are getting to me at all.
I’m already her pawn. That’s the whole reason I’m in Kappa Alpha to begin with, instead of pursuing a frat that might be more my speed. Fenrir had made it clear I’d have been welcome with the Hellions, but I hadn’t felt like I’d had much of a choice.
Now, it’s too late, and one more aspect of my life has been defined by the Pavone family.
I exhale slowly, thinking over my options. I want this potential in with the Bouchards. I may never use it, but having it could be worthwhile. Is it betraying Pandora’s trust if I ask them questions flat-out during my investigation into what happened to Rachel?
Do I care?
Surprisingly, I do. I don’t like that I do, but that doesn’t change the fact.
Either way, I know what I need to do. I take my phone out of my pocket, pulling up a picture of a smiling Pandora and Rachel together, taken one day at the New Bristol Zoo. “I need to know what you know about this girl right here, Rachel Turner.”
Asch and Blaze both crowd closer to get a better look. Asch touches the phone to zoom in on Rachel’s face.
She was so different from Pandora. Much more mellow, but willing to go along with Pandora’s schemes. Rachel listened quietly and gave insightful comments without judging.
And she’d understood, more than Pandora, what it was like not to want to go home. Whirlwind Pandora would drag us to different parts of the city, and while we were with her, we could forget that there was nothing better waiting for us.
I feel my eyes prickling with tears, but I’m not going to cry for Rachel.
I’d done all my crying when her body was first discovered.
“She’s cute,” Asch says, making my anger flare again because the last thing I need is to hear about how some college guy thinks Rachel was cute .
Blaze grunts, but it’s hard to tell if he’s agreeing. “Rachel Turner? The name doesn’t ring a bell. But she looks a bit familiar.” He catches my glare and says, “Chill. We didn’t fuck her. I’d remember somebody I slept with.”
“I need to know anything you can find out about her. If you find that out for me, I’ll see what I can tell you about Pandora,” I say.
“Yeah, okay,” Blaze agrees.
I’m surprised he gives in so easily, and that has me on edge. It’s got to be a trick of some sort. Nothing happens for free.
He must notice my distrust, because Blaze smiles. “What’s with that face? We’re brothers , River. If this is important to you, we’ll help out.”
“I’ll try, too,” Asch says, and while he doesn’t smile, I don’t see anything in his expression indicating that he’s only humoring me. “Blaze has more connections, but if anyone around here knows anything about her, we’ll find out.” He eyes me. “Why are we looking?”
I take a deep breath, wondering if I can even say the words. “Because she’s dead,” I say after a long moment. “Someone murdered her.”
Asch glances at Blaze before looking back at me. “Was she a student here?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
“So why do you think anyone around here would know anything about her?” Asch asks.
I’m bristling, but I can tell he’s not trying to be argumentative. There’s something too focused about the way he’s asking the questions, and I wonder what his future is going to be with the Bouchard Syndicate. “Because she met someone from Dyschord before she vanished. ”
“The school’s got a few thousand students,” Asch points out. “Not to mention the entire faculty and staff.”
“It’s not that many,” Blaze says firmly.
“We can narrow it down, especially if you think it’s someone with Kappa Alpha.
I can talk to the dean, too.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and ruffles my hair.
“Don’t worry, River. You’re one of us now, and I’m very good to my friends. Asch can tell you all about it.”
Asch’s smile is strange, but he nods. “He is,” he confirms. “But River…” He meets my eyes. “He’s also really, really not someone whose bad side you want to be on.”
I fight the urge to roll my eyes. “Yeah,” I say. “Noted.”
“Good,” Asch says, but I can tell he’s hearing the way I’m indulging him instead of really meaning it. Still, he doesn’t comment on it. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
My stomach grumbles, reminding me that I haven’t eaten yet. “Yeah.”
With any luck, Pandora won’t be waiting in the caf to find out what’s going on.