45. Scotlind
FORTY-FIVE
SCOTLIND
I sat on the furthest side of the cot from Sie, curling my legs under me, as I stared at the spot the portal had been. The mist was long gone, but my worry wasn’t lessening. I felt like I was breaking all over again.
This morning, Tezya had taken me to see the healer—well dragged me to one—but besides the electricity from Rainer, I was fine. The healers told Tezya they couldn’t do anything to heal my body from the lightning, not without potentially causing more damage. They could monitor my vitals and make sure my heart wasn’t having an after-shock reaction, but that was it.
“Do it,” Tezya spat. “Run every test you have. Make sure she’s okay.”
I tried not to look down at my hands to see the pale white scars that now ran all over me. It was worse around my stomach and my right forearm where Kole was holding me when Rainer attacked. I only knew because I felt the jagged lines raise and could tell how thick they were.
But I was going to be fine. The scars on my skin were nothing compared to what Vallie was going through .
In all the time I was kept by the King, the only harm done to me were small needle pricks across my arms from where Arcane collected my blood, but the King healed every last one before the broadcast. He even healed the bruises I had over my wrists and ankles where the chains had dug into me. I didn’t have a scratch to show from my time in Lux.
They never touched me, only causing harm to Vallie in my place. I prayed to Pylemo over and over again that she was okay. I prayed that the King or Athler hadn’t turned their attention toward her yet. And now, I was praying for everyone else too. What if none of them come back?
I kept repeating the King’s words—how he had plans for when Tezya came back to Lux. I couldn’t stop making up different scenarios of the punishment room, couldn’t stop seeing that knife and all of Tezya’s blood—
I was pissed at him for leaving me behind, but more than that, I was terrified.
My ability to speak came back shortly after I made it to the healer’s tent. But I barely spoke. When Tezya and I connected our hands, everything that happened came flooding into us.
I relived everything he went through while I was gone. I could feel his suffering, his frustration, his rage. Tears broke my eyes as I saw him fight, as I saw him scavenge the hut looking for me. He never meant to leave me in Lux. I wasn’t mad at the decision Kallon had made, even though I could feel Tezya still was.
Then, I saw Sie compelling him, forcing him to not go after me alone. He tried. The first week I was gone, it was all he did. He tried over and over again to leave the camp and fight through Sie’s compulsion. It broke me, watching how much it destroyed him.
I knew Tezya saw everything I went through too. He knew what happened to Miles, what was currently happening to Vallie. I was thankful I didn’t have to voice it. Tezya’s rage heightened when he saw the King take me to the lower level of the dungeons. From his reaction, I knew it was his first time seeing it. He had no idea the King was keeping Advenians chained down there.
They still have Vallie, I said into his mind, still unable to speak even though I had my voice back.
Tezya pulled me into his chest, his hand meeting the back of my head as he stroked my hair rhythmically. I’ll fix it, he said back to me. I promise, I’ll fix everything.
I didn’t have the energy to figure out what he meant or if they were just empty words of comfort. Everything felt heavy, and I was tired. I wanted to, just for a moment, soak in the moment with him. I wanted to feel safe and protected in his arms and block out everything else.
Sie shifted on the bed, bringing me back to the present and drifted my thoughts away from this morning. Tezya was gone. He was in Lux now. When he told me earlier that he would fix everything, I didn’t realize he was going to go into Lux without me. Tears pulled in my eyes as anxiety worked me so thoroughly. I’d never felt so scared in my life.
“It’s okay,” Sie said, but it seemed like he was reassuring himself more than me. “They’ll all be okay.”