80. Greyland
EIGHTY
GREYLAND
I stilled as Lilia walked toward me. I found a small, deserted room off to the side of a lavish one.
I guessed it was some sort of chapel. It was filled with wooden benches with red velvet cushions. A statue of Pylemo was erected in the center of the room with the twelve lesser goddesses all bowing around her.
The ceiling consisted of stained-glass, like almost all of Tennebris, but because it was their dark season, the sun wasn’t around to light the space. I could have lit the sconces that lined the walls, but I didn’t care enough. It didn’t matter anyway. I could make out enough.
“Hi,” she said as she closed the door behind her.
I didn’t turn around, but I knew it was her before she even spoke.
Her footsteps sounded as she came to sit next to me. I picked a bench directly in front of Pylemo and had been staring at her for the past hour.
I turned away from the Goddess to look at Lilia, and my heart nearly stopped. She was so damned beautiful I had to pinch myself. Her hazel eyes were more gold than brown today, and her pale hair was pushed behind her shoulders.
She was closer to me than I realized, and I had to fight the urge to want to pull her onto my lap.
I wasn’t sure how to act anymore. I was too exhausted to keep up my facade, and honestly I didn’t want to. I didn’t care how vulnerable it made me or if she decided to laugh in my face and reject me, I wanted to tell her everything was real.
No—I needed her to know everything was real.
It was on the tip of my tongue. I was about to admit that every dream she ever had of me for the past four years, were all because of me, because of my second power.
But she spoke first. “You used your illusion on Raeya, didn’t you?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. It wasn’t what I expected her to say. I figured she’d want to ask me about her parents, or about the cabin or anything about that day. Hell, maybe she’d even want to talk about school, about what Lander and my friends did to her.
“I did.”
She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “You gave her peace, Grey—”
“I only did it because I first used my illusion to make Kallon leave,” I cut her off. I didn’t want to be praised for something I originally caused.
“What do you mean?” Her eyes widened.
“I used my illusion on Kallon to make it look like the soldiers were backing down when they found out the Lux King died. I’m the reason she wasn’t fighting with Raeya when she died.”
Her lips parted before she collected herself. Whatever she thought of that, she didn’t say.
She stood abruptly, about to walk away, when I grabbed her wrist. I hadn’t realized which one it was until I felt her brand beneath my fingers. She flinched but didn’t pull away.
I stood, towering over her.
“I think you’re an asshole, Greyland.” Her voice came out soft and without its usual edge of hardness whenever she spoke to me. “And it has nothing to do with Raeya.”
“I know,” I said. I still didn’t let go of her wrist. Her back was to me, and I slowly turned her around, forcing her to look at me. “I’m sorry.”
She started crying, so many people had been since the fighting ended, and weeks later, it didn’t stop. There was so much death, so much loss, that I kept trying to find deserted places to escape it all. But hers—Lilia’s grief—I didn’t want to run away from it.
Her head tilted up to look at me. I abandoned her wrist, only to wipe at her tears.
“Sorry for what?” she asked, holding her breath.
“For everything. School. What happened with Lander. For not stopping it sooner. But I’m not sorry for using my illusion on you when we fought.”
She tried pulling away, not liking what I said, but I cupped her face. “Lilia. I’m not sorry because I would do it again and again if it meant keeping you alive.”
Her lips parted. Her breathing hitched.
Say it. Say it, Greyland. Admit to everything. Tell her about the dreams.
“I like you, Lilia.”
Coward. I was a fucking coward.
I didn’t give her time to think before I leaned forward and kissed her in real life.
And fucking Pylemo. It was divine. It was better than what I imagined in my dreams.
She tasted like heaven and wine and everything fucking blissful in the world .
And what had me fucking losing my mind, what had me cursing and moaning her name, was that Lilia Evalyn Fervic was kissing me back.