Chapter 4
River
I’ve danced and played the part I was given. I smile and converse with everyone like I was told to do. I entertained my prospective husbands even though the thought of doing it made me sick to my stomach. And I’ve drank. Enough for about four grown men.
I stumble toward the stairs, ready to end the night, when my father catches my arm. His hand wraps around my wrist so tightly it feels like it’s breaking. I try to jerk away, but it’s useless.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he hisses in my direction.
“To my room,” I slur.
“How much have you had to drink? Are you trying to embarrass me?” he snaps.
“No. You told me to have fun. I did that,” I reply with a slight giggle.
“I should have known better. You’re the most ungrateful child I’ve ever seen in my life.
” Now I laugh. Maybe he’s right. Am I ungrateful because everything is handed to me, or the way he flaunts me around in front of all these businessmen?
The need for him to find me a husband who will line his pockets, not one I’ll actually care about.
“You’re using me,” I hiss at him. Now it’s his turn to laugh.
“Using you? Of course, I’m using you. Women have one use in this world, River.
If you aren’t making the money yourself, then I have to find a way to use you to get it.
You’re lucky I’m only finding you a husband and not whoring you out,” he growls at me.
Did he really just say that to me? Whore me out? He wouldn’t do it. Would he?
My eyes jerk to his, and that’s where they stay. In the depths, I can see it. He would do it. He wouldn’t have a second thought about it.
“You make me sick,” I tell him.
“I make you sick? How do you think I feel, River?”
“What did I do to you?” I ask while tears fill my eyes.
“You were born a female. Had you been a boy, things would be different.”
“So it’s my fault?”
“More like your mother’s fault. You’re just a casualty of all of this.”
“My whole life?” I ask, not sure I want to know the answer to that. I’ve always known I wasn’t wanted. I’ve always known that he didn’t care much for me, but to this extent?
“Go to your room. I have men I need to discuss things with,” he orders, releasing the hold he has on me.
“No.”
“What did you say?” he asks in a deadly tone.
“I said no. Afraid I’ll embarrass you more if I stay?” Now I want to piss him off. I want him to get angry, and I want him to show his true colors to everyone at this party.
“I said go to your room, River.” There’s an order in his tone, one that I ignore.
I shake my head and turn to head back down the stairs to the party when he grabs my arm and spins me around to face him.
His hand collides with my cheek, sending a burning pain through it.
I blink rapidly, not believing he just did that.
He’s never laid a hand on me, not like this.
Sure, he spanked me as a child, but hit me? Never.
“You’re crazy.”
“You’re useless,” he responds.
“I hate you,” I sneer at him. He just laughs and releases me, heading back down to the party as I walk up the stairs slowly.
I drag myself to my room and enter, closing the door behind me.
Then I walk over in front of the mirror and look at the handprint that now stains my cheek.
I can’t believe he actually did that. I can’t believe he hit me.
I raise my hand and rub my sore cheek before the door flies open, and my mom comes storming in.
“What did you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“What did you do to your father?”
“He hit me!”
“You provoked him! How dare you, after all he’s doing for you?” she sneers at me. How dare I?
“He hates me.”
“Look at yourself, River! You’re a sloppy drunk! What do you want from him? He threw this party just for you, and you repay him by drinking as much as you can?”
“For me? This isn’t for me! This is all for him, and what he can gain from my marriage. I don’t want this. I don’t want to marry some stranger!” I yell back at her.
“He was right. You are ungrateful. Your father is trying to secure you a good man, a good life. He wants you to be taken care of so that you never have to worry about anything again, and this is the way you repay him?” She looks at me in disgust as I stare back at her. She doesn’t care.
I was never close to my mom. Not the way a child should be close to a parent. She was always distant with me and never hugged me. We’re not the type of family that says I love you or that you’re proud of the other. We’re a very distant family, and this just shows me how distant we truly are.
“Repay him for hitting me?”
“You deserved it. He wouldn’t have done so if you didn’t.”
“You know what? Fuck this!” I scream this time as I tug at the dress, trying to rip it off my body. When I get it free, I slide out of it and find my regular clothes to put on.
“What are you doing?” she asks as I grab a bag and start packing a few things.
“I don’t need this! I don’t need to live here. I’m an adult.” She laughs, and it grates on my nerves.
“You have nothing. Where will you go? How will you live?” she taunts.
“I’ll figure it out,” I tell her as I pull the pins from my hair and shake it out before piling it on top of my head and securing it.
“You’ll be back in a day,” she laughs again.
I toss the bag over my shoulder and head out of my room and down the back stairs so I don’t have to face my father again.
When I get to the bottom, I walk out the back door and down the dark sidewalk.
I sniffle as I go, not knowing what I’m going to do.
I have a little money saved up in a second account they didn’t know about, but not much.
I walk to the end of the driveway, and that’s when it happens. Something is placed over my head, and I scream. Not that anyone could hear me out here with the party going on inside.
My hands are pulled behind my back as I scream louder.
“Help! Help me!” I scream as my arms are secured behind my back. Before I know what’s happening, I’m tossed into the back of a car. Doors slam before the engine starts, and we take off.