Chapter 14
River
My chest hurts. My pussy hurts. My hands and knees have cuts and indents from the gravel. And Royal is pissed.
“I don’t know what you did to him, but he’s pissed,” Jeremy says as he cleans the wounds on my hands. Royal made it very clear I wasn’t to put clothes on, so I covered myself with the blanket instead.
“How pissed?” I risk the chance to ask. He glances over at Royal, where he shadow boxes, sweat dripping down his temples.
“More than I’ve seen him in a while.” I don’t know what to say. I should have told him, but who announces that? And would he have even fucked me if I did? Probably not.
I sigh as Jeremy finishes cleaning up my hands. When he’s done, he shoves himself up and pulls out a sleeping bag.
“Are we staying here?” I ask.
“No money until the fight for the hotel,” he tells me. I nod my head and curl up under the blanket.
Royal grabs another sleeping bag and tosses it out on the floor before climbing in.
“Get the fuck over here,” I hear him growl, and when I look over at him, he’s staring at me.
“No.”
“Don’t make me tell you twice, River.” The tone of his voice is enough to get me moving. I wrap myself in the blanket so Jeremy doesn’t see me naked anymore than he already has and make my way over.
“Grab the pillow,” he says, nodding toward it. I reach down and grab it, holding it out to him. He takes it and lies down on his side, leaving me standing here like a fool. And maybe that’s what he wanted to do.
“Get out of the blanket and into the bag,” he orders.
“I’m not sleeping with you. You’re mad.”
“And I’m going to be madder if you don’t do what the fuck I’m telling you to do.
” I sigh as I drop the blanket and climb into the sleeping bag with him.
Royal reaches around me and zips it up the rest of the way before lying back down and dragging me with him.
He pulls my head to his chest and circles his arms around my body, holding me tightly and closely.
“What are we doing?” I ask him.
“Sleeping. It gets cold in here at night,” he answers.
“I could get us a room,” I tell him.
“Don’t want your money, River. I’m fine here, but by all means, if you want to go,” he says, loosening his grip on me. Instead of answering him, I snuggle closer. His arms tighten once more, and I remain where he put me, listening to his heart beat.
It feels like half the night has passed, and I can’t seem to get to sleep. I snuggle into his side, wondering what life would be like if things were different. If I were different. Different parents. Would I be happier if they weren’t my parents?
“What are you thinking about?” I nearly scream when I hear Royal’s voice.
“What it would be like if I had different parents,” I admit to him.
“And?”
“And what?”
“What do you think would be different?” I sigh now.
“I don’t know. Maybe I wouldn’t be here. Maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t hate them the way I do.”
“You can’t live your life on what-ifs. Every day is different, even if it feels the same,” he tells me.
“What about you? Where are your parents?”
“I don’t know my dad, never did, and my mom lives about five hours from here.”
“Do you see her often?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to, River. What’s with all the questions?”
“I’m just trying to get to know more about you,” I tell him. He sighs and pulls me in tighter.
“She’s a drunk and a drug addict. She never really wanted kids. All they were good for was tending to her. Her boyfriends used to beat the shit out of me when I was younger. When I was sixteen, I left.”
“And you’ve been on the streets since then?”
“Yeah. Not long after, I got into the fights. It was something I was good at and something that got me by.”
“But you never have money,” I say softly because none of that makes any sense to me. He makes fairly good money fighting, but there never seems to be enough.
“I have a sister,” he says softly.
“Where is she?”
“Still with my mom. She’s only sixteen. I fucked up, dropped out of school. I don’t want that for her,” he admits.
“But if your mom was bad to you, isn’t she bad to her?”
“That’s where the money comes in. I send her the majority of it. If she can keep Mom entertained long enough, she leaves her alone. She rations out what she needs for food and bills, but the rest goes to her.”
Sadness creeps inside me. I can’t believe that this is what his life was like. I had no idea he had a sister, and that’s where his money went, or the fact that he lives like this so she can live better.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper before pressing a kiss to his chest. His hand comes up to my hair, running his fingers through it.
“I don’t tell many people about my life.”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Who said I was ashamed? I’m not.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I try to back track now.
“Yeah, you did. And I get it. Being homeless isn’t that glamorous, but this is my life.” I hear what he’s saying, but I don’t respond. Instead, I stay close to him and eventually fall asleep.