Chapter Nine
I wasn’t sure what my plan was, being that Zack needed to drive me back home. I had nowhere to escape.
“That was quite a tantrum,” Zack finally said, walking up behind me and blowing out a long breath.
“I’m sorry, what ? He was talking so much shit while I was in the bathroom. How is that okay?”
“Obviously, it wasn’t okay, which is why I told him to shut up.
Or maybe you were only eavesdropping on part of the conversation.
It didn’t have to turn into a scene though.
He was just kidding around anyway, because you’re younger than me, and you’re sweet, not like some of the girls that hang around the football parties.
Whatever. He didn’t mean it as like a personal attack, Jesus. ”
“ Seriously ? You think I was the one behaving inappropriately in there? Thank god I did hear your conversation, otherwise I would have gone on thinking you genuinely liked me.”
I hated myself for letting my voice waver.
You are so stupid.
Zack sighed heavily. “Come here, please.” His voice was low and soothing.
“I’m fine where I am.” My words nearly got lost in a whisper, and I cursed silently. He shoved his hands in his pockets and took the three steps necessary to be standing in front of me.
“V. Please stop. I do genuinely like you. If I didn’t, I would already be driving you home.”
This did not make me feel any better.
“What I like about you is that you don’t seem like you play games.
I can’t deal with more girl drama, I just can’t.
Being with Jenna drove me insane. I understand one-hundred-percent why you’re pissed.
I’m just saying you could have been straight with me about it rather than trying to make a passive-aggressive point and storming out.
Rich will apologize to you; I guarantee it, because I will kick his ass if he doesn’t.
I’m not the guy you are acting like I am, and I need for you to give me the benefit of the doubt here.
Have I done something to make you think I’m playing you? ”
I paused. “Not exactly, no,” I answered as honestly as possible. There were a couple of things that had bothered me, but he seemed to be more even-keeled the last couple of times I’d seen him.
“Please, tell me. Like I just want to hang out and have things be cool.”
I debated on whether to divulge what I was thinking.
When I listed out my concerns in my head, they didn’t feel like enough to justify my actions.
I didn’t like that he’d ditched me at lunch, but we weren’t really even dating yet.
It bothered me that he’d shown up late for our date, but he’d stopped to get me flowers.
It was confusing that he’d sort of flipped out on our last date, but again, he’d offered an explanation, making all of this very frustrating for me to think about while standing in front of him.
His bright eyes were searching mine for an answer, and he ran his fingers along my palms, making me lose my train of thought anyway.
“Can you tell me what happened with Jenna?”
He looked surprised.
“Does it really matter?” He finally broke eye contact with me and looked elsewhere, his tone tired. I bit the inside of my lip to get my emotions under control.
Deep breaths.
He finally continued. “Sure. I’ll tell you; it’s really not a long story.”
I locked eyes with him expectantly.
“I liked her. I really liked her, actually. But she constantly messed with my head. She would flirt with my friends to make me jealous and make me feel stupid when it worked. She ended up cheating on me with a friend of mine from OSU at a party one night. And I never would have known if I hadn’t walked in on them by accident.
I decked the guy and broke up with her. The end.
” His jaw was set firmly, and his expression was hard.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, feeling like I had nothing adequate to say.
He dropped my hands and put his behind his head, causing his shirt to lift above his waistband.
“It’s uh, kind of a hit to my ego to admit that she cheated on me, but now you don’t have to wonder. It’s better that you know the truth.”
Regret about my earlier reaction spread through my chest, and I wanted nothing more than to touch this beautiful boy in front of me.
“Thank you. For telling me. And I’m sorry for…before. I should have just told you I overheard the conversation and asked for an explanation.”
“Well, I kind of liked the look on Rich’s face regardless.” Zack grinned, showing his dimples.
He pushed a stray hair behind my ear, and I couldn’t take all of the not-kissing any longer.
My toes lifted me up, and I leaned into his chest until I could feel his heartbeat.
He kissed me back intently, his fingertips tracing circles on the back of my neck.
I found the hem of his shirt and allowed my nails to trail up his sides.
His muscles contracted beautifully, but he started laughing instead of kissing and reached for my hands.
“Yeah, you can’t keep doing that,” he admitted, playing with my fingers.
“You’re ticklish?” I asked playfully.
“I am. You have discovered my kryptonite.”
“I kind of like that power,” I continued, reaching for his sides again. He squirmed at my touch, but grabbed my wrists and held them behind me, kissing me deeply again.
“Are we okay?” he asked softly.
“We’re okay.” He kissed my top and bottom lips separately, then together, and then my neck, making my toes curl into my shoes.
“How long until you have to be home?”
“Twenty-ish minutes,” I said reluctantly. I never wanted him to stop kissing me like that. A low rumble emanated from his chest.
“That is upsetting.” He let go of my wrists and circled my waist instead.
“Yes,” I agreed.
“Can I touch you for fifteen minutes, then?” he asked, grinning into my neck. Chills broke out across my skin.
“I…like, right here?” I managed, though my voice was almost an octave too high. My eyes glanced up and down the street, but it was empty.
“Mmmmm, like right…” he began, trailing one of his hands along the inside of my thigh, higher to the apex where he put pressure, “here.”
I sucked in a breath and fisted his t-shirt. My mind was racing because I couldn’t let him get me off in the middle of the street. What if…what if someone walked by or came out of their house?
God, what if Rich came out to see why we were still here?
While my brain ran through the list of reasons I couldn’t, Zack’s fingers deftly moved under my shorts and he was tracing a maddening line up my center, circling my clit and making his way back down. My hold tightening on his t-shirt, and his mouth worked on my neck where it met my shoulder.
“Zack…are you…we can’t just…” My words were failing me as he chuckled in my ear, his breath sending goosebumps erupting down my arms. My muscles were tight, and I thought the breath in my chest might stay there forever.
“I assure you that we can.” His fingers tugged my now-soaked underwear to the side and continued their trail up and down, until he pressed two fingers just inside of me, teasing me.
“And it feels like you want me to. But correct me if I’m wrong,” he murmured before grasping my jaw with his free hand and capturing my mouth with those stupid lips.
I parted mine for him immediately, trying to breathe normally while he explored my mouth.
A moan slipped out without my permission, but god, he felt so good that I stopped caring about our location almost as soon as he kissed me.
I released my hold on his shirt, and my hands found a place on his neck where I could toy with his hair.
His fingers stopped teasing and sank inside of me while his thumb found my clit.
“Shit,” I gasped against his mouth between kisses.
“You like that?” he asked, now moving his fingers faster and deeper.
“Mhm,” I got out, nodding slightly. I tried to relax into the car at my back, giving him more room.
“That’s it. Open up for me.” His free hand was not content to stay in one place, and I heard myself release a whimper when he tugged my bra down and started toying with my nipples.
“Come on my hand, baby,” he said, his voice rough.
His speed increased, and he let his palm rub against my clit while he thrust in and out with his fingers.
I felt my core tightening, ready to snap.
Everything else, my doubts and maybe my better judgment—faded to nothing.
There was only this moment and the knowledge that I was about to follow his command embarrassingly quickly.
My breaths were coming in gasps, and just as I let go, he covered my mouth with his and swallowed whatever groans left my throat. He slowed his movements as I came down before righting my underwear and my shorts, kissing me one more time.
“I like the sounds you make when you come,” he said softly, reaching behind me and pulling the passenger door open so I could get in.
It was good that it was dark out because my cheeks were on fire at his words.
At what I’d just let him do to me in semi-public.
I sank into the seat of the car and clicked my seat belt as he got into the driver’s side.
“I…that was…” I tried to start again, but I couldn’t finish a coherent thought
He laughed again, biting his lip .
“Alright, well, I’m glad we’re good. I will get you home on time. I don’t want your mom giving you a hard time about coming over this weekend. I want to be able to do lots more of…that.” He smiled before he grasped my hand and pulled it to his mouth, kissing my palm.”
“Probably wise,” I responded, actually completing a whole response before he started back toward my house.
He proceeded to kiss me at every stoplight on the way to my neighborhood, and by the time I walked through the front door at 8:59, I felt weightless and unsteady, like stepping off a carnival ride.
* * *
My phone was in my hand before I really thought about it.
V: You busy?
COURTNEY: Just got home. How’s your world?
The thing I loved most about Courtney was that our friendship was easy.
I never worried that she was mad at me for something stupid or judging me behind my back.
We could IM or text every day or talk once every three months, and it didn’t matter.
We lived our lives and didn’t hold that against each other.
V: Really good, actually. And yours?
COURTNEY: Mine’s boring. Let me live vicariously through you. I take it things are going well with Mr. I Guess He’s Nice?
V: Yeah, they are. Tonight was…intense. I sort of flipped out on him and his friend, but we worked it out. He’s just really good at calming me down and making me forget why I was mad, you know?
COURTNEY: Flipped out about…
V: His friend said something gross about me. I probably overreacted though. Zack says he’ll handle it.
COURTNEY: Ew, gross how? And since when do you overreact to anything?
V: Just idiot guy stuff. Whatever, it’s fine now. He’s having people over this weekend.
COURTNEY: Okay…well, if you’re sure. Do you have a picture? I wanna see this magical mood-changer :)
V: Shut up :). I don’t have one yet, but I’ll take one soon.
COURTNEY: I like that you’re happy, but don’t let some guy make you doubt your instincts, okay?
V: I’m not. I’m fine, Court. Really.
COURTNEY: Okay good. I gotta do homework. Miss you 3
V: Miss you too.
Finishing my homework quickly, I got ready for bed.
I could still feel his hands on me and shivered, though I wasn’t sure if it was from the memory or the cool night air through my open window.
I tried to focus on planning the perfect outfit for his party this weekend, but my mind kept drifting back to how easily Zack seemed to be able to make me forget my anger, to balance me out.
That seemed like a good thing…like maybe he was the yin to my yang.