Chapter Thirty-Two #2
Being that close to him made my breaths shallower; he still felt warm despite the temperature.
He leaned in closer to my cheek. I knew I’d kiss him back if his lips found mine, so I tore my attention back to the last item in the bag.
Grinning, I pulled out a plastic version of a gold chain with a giant dollar sign hanging at the bottom.
“In case you ever wanna take your love of rap to the next level.”
“Hell yes!” he nearly shouted, taking the trinket from my palm and putting it over his head. He looked completely ludicrous, or Ludacris, I supposed, but his smile was genuine.
“You totally want me right now, looking like this.”
I bit my lip, unsure of where to go from there.
“Listen, Luke, I don’t know what we’re doing here, but you and I…we’ll kill each other if we try to date, or be together, if that’s even what you want. My head’s all over the place, but I do like hanging out with you, if you wanna be friends? ”
The word ‘friends’ tasted like a lie on my tongue. I didn’t want to be his friend. I wanted to run my hands through his hair and kiss him until we were both breathless. But admitting that felt like jumping without knowing what was below.
“Nah,” he replied lightly.
“Nah?” I questioned. “What the hell does that even mean?”
“It means you’re being dumb.”
“I am not being dumb, I’m being reasonable. I’m trying to keep us from tearing each other’s heads off.” I didn’t know if I believed it, but it sounded believable.
“Yeah, I just don’t buy it. Sorry,” he shrugged, scooting over so he could face me properly.
“Care to elaborate?”
“You like me. I know you do, so don’t try to play whatever game you’re playing.
You like me, and you like making out with me, and you think I’m hilarious.
You just do. And I like you. You’re completely impossible and annoying, but I like you anyway.
I’m not proposing marriage to you, but I don’t think you really just wanna be my friend, I think you’re playing it safe, and that’s not who you are.
So if we kill each other, then we do. At least we’ll have fun doing it. ”
“That sounds psychotic.”
“You’re the one who loves to fight with me—I don’t know what to tell you. If you can honestly tell me you have no interest in me beyond friendship then fine, but you can’t.”
I took a deep breath, and knew I’d be lying.
“Fine.”
“Fine…”
“We can try not to kill each other.”
“Aw, honey.”
“Don’t call me honey.”
“Baby, babe, sweetie, sugar lips, Milk Duds?”
“ Milk Duds? No. And NOT babe. Just V. Just call me V.”
“‘Kay, V. Thank you for my presents. And my big fat apology. ”
He leaned in much closer and I didn’t try to dissuade him this time, allowing his lips to touch mine and his arms to make me feel protected. It was a dangerous game, but it felt right.
The moment his mouth touched mine, everything else faded away.
This wasn’t the desperate, hungry kisses I’d shared with Zack that left me feeling consumed and somehow empty at the same time.
This was different - warmer, safer, but no less intense.
Luke kissed me like he had all the time in the world, like he wanted to memorize the taste of me.
This was how butterflies were supposed to feel in my stomach—light and fluttery, not the anxious churning I’d grown used to.
My whole body relaxed into his touch, my hands finding their way to his shoulders, feeling the solid warmth of him beneath my palms. When he deepened the kiss, I felt that familiar heat pool low in my belly, but without the underlying tension that used to come with it.
Without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
His kisses became more intense and he pulled me onto his lap, his fingertips playing with my waistband.
The move should have made me panic—it was exactly the kind of thing Zack would have done as a precursor to pushing for more.
But Luke’s touch was different. Patient.
Like he was content to just kiss me until we both ran out of air.
“Do you wanna come inside?”
My heart leapt, some of my warm and fuzzy feelings coming to a standstill. I wasn’t sure what the implication was behind the question, and I felt my shoulders tense.
“Oh, um, sure,” I assured him, determined not to let Zack ruin every romantic encounter I had in the future.
“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like…I just meant it’s cold out. Not that we needed to, like, go to my room, Jesus. Okay, that was not smooth. Do you wanna go out?”
“It’s fine, let’s go to your room,” I pushed, overcompensating for my nerves because I refused to be afraid, or timid, or any other stupid adjective that did not define me. My palms were sweating, and I cursed inwardly.
“V, stop. I can feel how tense you are right now. Let’s go get coffee, or whatever sugar-filled beverage you call coffee. I really didn’t mean it like that. Okay?”
“You don’t have to treat me like I’m a damsel you know. You don’t always have to save me…I don’t need saving. At least not all the time.”
“I’m not saving you, I’m saving me. I have no interest in doing anything with you unless the real you is there with me. Not the you who thinks she has something to prove. Let me take you to get coffee.”
I was quiet for a moment, contemplating his honesty.
“Aren’t you supposed to be a dumb jock with only one thing on his mind.”
“Damn it, I knew I was doing something wrong. Thank you for pointing out the error of my ways,” he joked, pulling me into a crushing hug and kissing my neck sweetly.
“Carry me to the car,” I requested, feeling more relaxed and bossy again.
“You carry me to the car. You’re driving. Only damsels get carried, sorry.”
I put on a pout and began to stomp towards the SUV. Luke sighed, threw me over his shoulder, and stalked his way to the fence with me giggling the whole way there.