Chapter Fifty-Four
AJ
I felt like I was floating through life.
Honestly, I don’t think I’d known anything close to this kind of happiness since I was a kid, back when life was carefree and easy.
It was somehow even more fulfilling, though, being an adult with worries and responsibilities, but still finding a marrow-deep sort of contentment.
Obviously, the difference now was Atlas.
I went to sleep with him every night, woke up with him in the mornings. And many hours in between were spent completely naked, exploring each other’s bodies, getting wrapped up in pleasure.
And, God, yes, the pleasure.
Every time Atlas reached for me, I knew that there would be multiple orgasms in my future. He showed me new depths of desire, showed me how an orgasm could completely overwhelm me, dull my other senses, and even rack my system with aftershocks once they subsided.
The craziest thing was, it didn’t seem to matter how many times we had sex, I somehow always craved more.
Even just the casual brush of his hand on my lower back when he passed behind me had little sparks of desire pinged off my nerve endings, making me want to grab him and have yet another round.
I had to admit, even though I kept trying to urge him to take it easy, I was beyond thrilled that he was out of the cast and in the boot. Because, to put it plainly, the man had lots of moves and positions that the cast would have made impossible.
Aside from that, it also meant he was able to leave the house much more easily. Even if I insisted he use the crutches when we got somewhere.
His new SUV was a real treat, too. With actual heat that worked, now that the weather had taken a nosedive toward the thirties. I mean, the man had butt warmers in the seats.
On the nights when we didn’t want to stay in, we played our favorite little game of driving around aimlessly until we hit a restaurant we’d never heard of before, and gave it a try.
Sure, the results were mixed, leaving us ordering in or making frozen pizzas when we got home, but it was a fun little adventure.
We did spend most of our time at home, though, sometimes with Atlas’s laptop sitting on our legs as he scrolled through furniture sites, wanting my opinion on some additions to make to the house.
It occurred to me after we were done, though, that he’d left the decisions almost entirely to me.
An insecure part of me was concerned that he was letting me decorate because he didn’t intend to be around long-term.
I worked hard to squash those thoughts, though, as the days passed and he showed no intentions of leaving, of even talking about getting on the road again.
Most days, while I was at work, he was at physical therapy. Sometimes, he would stop at the doggy daycare to bring me lunch, or drop off coffee if he was getting some.
Other days, he was home all day by himself, and I would come back to find he’d worked on some random project.
Painting the faded hallway. Regrouting the tub. Once, I came home to find he’d built a little picnic table out of scrap wood and turned it into a feeding station for our friendly neighborhood squirrels to eat without getting trapped in the bird feeders.
We’d even ordered a Christmas tree and decorations for outside.
The holiday season was coming up fast.
I found myself wondering what I could get him that he would like. And if, maybe, just maybe, he might be getting me something too.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had been given a gift.
Way back at the beginning of our relationship, Joss did get me things here and there. But, looking back, it was really gifts for himself. Cookbooks. Kitchen gadgets. A stationary bike, so I could lose weight for him.
It was never anything I would personally enjoy, something that he saw and thought of that might bring me happiness. It was just for his own desires.
“Earth to AJ,” Ella called, making me snap out of my thoughts, finding her standing there in front of me, pulling a pink hat with a big pom-pom on top onto her head.
“Oh, sorry, what was that?”
“I know that look,” she said, suddenly leaning over the desk, resting her arms on it, her smile girlish. “Does your distraction have anything to do with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Sexy?” she asked. “And don’t you dare try to tell me that the man is just your landlord,” she said.
“He’s… not just my landlord anymore,” I admitted.
“I mean, duh. My landlord has never brought me lunch to work. Granted, my landlord is an ancient widower who I’m pretty sure can’t even see me properly, but still. Spill.”
“You need to get home to your girls,” I reminded her.
“The big one is going to a movie with her friend. The little one is at karate. The only things at home for me are a sink full of dishes that has been side-eyeing me for two days and a radiator that is spitting out so much hot air that we have to crack all the windows and walk around without pants on. So… again, spill.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I admitted, realizing I’d never really discussed a relationship with a friend before. Since I never really had any friends.
“I mean, I think the pressing question is: does he fuck like he swaggers?”
“He isn’t swaggering. He’s wearing a walking boot,” I said, getting an eye roll from her.
“You haven’t answered the question.”
“I… have no complaints,” I said, but there was no way to stop the smile that spread across my face.
“Oh, that is the face of a woman who is getting it good and often,” Ella said, eyes bright. “You seem so happy,” she added.
“I am,” I admitted, feeling my heart swell at just the mention of Atlas and how I openly felt about him.
“Awww,” Ella said, pressing a hand to her heart. “Listen, I know you haven’t wanted to share, but I know you’ve had… a dickbag in your past too,” she said. “So, I’m just really happy you have a good guy now. It gives me hope.”
“Hope for what?” Tucker asked, coming in out of the back, holding a snub-faced, black French Bulldog puppy with him.
She’d been having a hard day being away from her owner who suddenly had to go back to the office after months of working from home.
Tucker had been the only one capable of stopping her bellowing.
“AJ has a boyfriend,” Ella declared.
“I don’t… we haven’t… it’s not…” I started, uncomfortable admitting that we hadn’t discussed labels. That, while we were certainly acting like boyfriend/girlfriend, that we hadn’t ever had a talk like that.
“I saw how he looked at you when he was here the last time,” Tuck said, saving me. “Trust me, that’s your man.”
“See?” Ella said. “This is so exciting. What does he do?” she asked.
“Extreme sports,” I told her.
“That’s so hot. So, that’s what happened to his leg?”
“Yeah. He was a mess when he first came back to town. But he’s mostly healed now.”
“Does that mean he’s leaving?” she asked.
“Um, no. At least… not for a while.”
“Crap,” Ella said, wincing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take away some of your joy. I am always putting my foot in my mouth.”
“He’s… making plans to be able to stay here. I think he will still travel, but his plans seem to be staying here. His whole family is here.”
“Have you met them?”
“All of them, actually. He has three brothers and a sister. Then lots of nieces and nephews.”
I wouldn’t lie. Some part of me was hoping to one day be on Atlas’s arm when he went to Sunday dinner. But I understood if maybe things felt too new to introduce me to his extended family.
“That’s so cute. I’m so happy for you. It’s nice to know there are still good guys out there,” she said.
“There are,” I agreed, looking over at Tucker, who was looking at Ella as he gently petted the puppy’s head. “Right, Tuck?” I asked.
“None good enough for you two,” he said, but I had a feeling he meant Ella more so than me.
“Oh, you little charmer, you,” Ella said, giving him a warm smile as she turned to pet the puppy.
Then I got to watch as both their gazes lifted at the same time. Holding. Something passing between them.
I wondered, if I wasn’t there, and if the sound of a car door slamming hadn’t interrupted, if something may have happened with them right then.
As it was, Ella jolted, then turned to grab her white puffer coat, slipping into it, then fishing her keys out of her purse.
“Let me heat it up for you,” Tucker said, reaching for her keys. “I’m gonna bring Max out to her mom,” he added, jiggling the dog.
“Oh, that’s so sweet. Thanks, Tuck,” she said, passing him her keys, then turning to watch him walk away.
“Have you ever, you know, considered Tuck?” I asked.
“Considered him how?” she asked.
“You know…” I said.
“No!” she said, a little fast. “No,” she added more firmly.
“Why not?”
“He lives in his car.”
“He lives in a converted van,” I clarified. “He’s sweet. He’s smart.”
“He has no real grown-up responsibilities,” she said. “I’m a mom. I have to pick my partners carefully.”
“When’s the last time you picked a partner?” I asked.
“Ouch!” she said, mouth falling open in mock outrage. “Besides, it’s not like that with us.”
“No? Because Tuck has never offered to warm up my car. Or dropped off coffee when I’m working. Or slept in his van outside of the daycare on the nights I work overnight shifts.”
“You think… you think he has a thing for me?”
“No. I think that man is in love with you,” I said, both of us turning to watch him smile and laugh at Max’s mom, then press a kiss to the puppy’s head before walking toward Ella’s car to start it.
“Damnit, AJ,” she said, wincing. “Now it’s going to be weird between us.”
“Only if you make it weird. I just thought that maybe you needed someone to tell you. Because he’s too sweet to make a first move. And I think maybe you, like me, might not be great at trusting your instincts about good men.”
“That’s… fair,” she agreed. “He is kind of cute,” she decided, watching him as he grabbed the scraper out of her backseat, and started to scrape the thick frost off of her windows.
“He’s really good-looking. In an unassuming, Golden Retriever kind of way.”