3. Path of the Paddle
3
PATH OF THE PADDLE
L ux
When we had been driving for over four hours, Jasmine started to squirm in her seat. “Oh man, I have to pee so bad,” she exclaimed, squeezing her legs together, her face pinched with discomfort.
“Me too. How much further?” The urge wasn’t too bad for me, but if Jasmine was going, I might as well, too. I didn’t know when I would get the opportunity to use an actual toilet again.
“Until we reach the marina? Twenty minutes, but I can’t hold it. We’re going to have to stop.” Jasmine answered, flicking her turn signal on. She waited for a break in traffic, then turned into a tiny old gas station. There was a long line spilling out of the door of the gas station, running along the entire length of the small building.
“This is going to take forever.”
I frowned at the line, the pressure on my bladder increasing. Having to pee was a lot like yawning—once someone really had to go, everyone in the vicinity seemed to have to go.
Jasmine found a parking spot and surveyed our surroundings. “Come on,” she said, opening the door and stepping outside. I reluctantly followed her while she walked around the back of the gas station. She led me away from the potential prying eyes of other travellers, close to the treeline, then she started undoing the button on her shorts.
“You’re seriously peeing out here?” I asked fretfully, glancing around with a somewhat horrified expression on my face. Anybody could look over and take a good guess at what we were doing here.
“You realize that we’ll all be peeing in the bush, right?” Jasmine laughed, squatting. “You can hold it if you want, but who knows how long the lineup for the outhouse at the marina will be. Probably twice as long.”
I mulled it over, debating. My friend stood, pulled her shorts up, and waited for me to come to my decision. Sighing, I began to unbutton my black shorts, shaking my head and pursing my lips. “Keep an eye out, I don’t want anybody to see me.”
Jasmine obeyed, standing guard with her back to me. It wasn’t as hard as it had looked, but I wasn’t looking forward to squatting like that the whole trip. My thighs were already protesting.
We walked back to the car quickly, wanting to get out of the crowded rest stop and to our destination as soon as possible. The last twenty minutes of the drive seemed to fly by, and each second that we got closer to the marina, my anxiety surged.
I had dealt with mild anxiety over the years by doing my best to repress it and maintain my sunshine and rainbows disposition, but it was harder to quiet that voice when I had no idea what to expect, and I had no idea what to expect from this camping trip. I was an organized planner, and when I couldn’t plan my days down to the minute I felt a little squirrely.
Jasmine turned right onto a dirt road and drove for a minute before the boat launch came into view, pulling up to the large wooden building. There were a lot of people around, I was surprised to see how many. Close to fifty, at least. Jasmine had been right about the outhouse lineup—it was double the length of the gas station one.
There were two boat launches; one was between the two large docks, and to the left of the far dock was the second launch for canoes and kayaks. People were moving in synchronized groups, getting kayaks and canoes down from roof racks and placing them in the water, or taking their turn to direct trailers into the river at the boat launch.
“We need to go in and pay for our tickets and parking, then we can start unloading. Let’s go say hi to the others first.” Jasmine said.
My gaze went back to the canoe launch. Immediately, my attention was drawn to the attractive man carrying a kayak effortlessly over his left shoulder. His dark blond hair curled around his white baseball cap, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He had the yummiest back I’d ever seen; ogling was an unfortunate side effect of his tanned muscles, and I couldn’t even bring myself to feel sorry about it.
Forcing my eyes away from him, I distracted myself by assessing the other people in the group as they approached. One couple was loading up their canoe on the shore of the rocky beach. Another girl with short black hair was already sitting in her kayak, waiting in the water for everyone else. She was the only one to notice our approach, and she grinned widely and waved, calling out a hello to Jasmine that prompted everybody else to turn around.
The guy carrying the kayak turned, too. He was even more gorgeous head-on. He had dark green eyes that seemed infinite, lips that looked like they knew how to kiss, and a strong jaw dusted with facial hair, like he’d already spent a week in the wilderness without access to a razor. The scruff along his jaw suited him and made him even more compelling.
He was tall, too, and still blessedly shirtless. Part of me seriously hoped he’d stay that way.
When he stuck his free hand out to shake mine, my heart jumped up into my throat from the feel of his warm skin on mine. My hand seemed to disappear within his, and I gathered from his grip that he was as strong and steady as he looked.
“Hi, I’m Theo. You must be Lux. Jasmine’s told us a lot about you,” he said, smiling politely. Even his voice was sexy. I felt myself melting a little.
“Oh, that’s promising,” I said dryly when I finally found my voice. His eyes seemed to twinkle, and my heart stumbled again. “Did she tell you that I’ve never been camping before in my life?”
Theo’s lips curved into a beautiful, bright smile, and he laughed a little. I wanted to fall into the sound. “Yeah, she might have mentioned it once or twice.”
“I felt like they needed fair warning,” Jasmine glanced between me and Theo, looking rather self-satisfied, before giving me a playful smile. Noticing the look on my face, she patted me on the back. “Kidding! You’ll be fine, Lux. It’s really not that difficult.”
“She speaks from experience,” a guy standing to Theo’s left said with a slight chuckle. He had approached while we were talking, and he gave me a welcoming smile. “When Jasmine joined us for the first time, she didn’t know how to set up a tent. Now, she’s a pro.”
“Thanks for the reminder. Lux, this is Desmond,” Jasmine said as I smiled back at him.
Desmond was a little shorter than Theo, with a thicker build than him. He had dark brown eyes, brown hair and a thick, kept beard. His nose was a little large for his face, but it suited him. He shook my hand too, his eyes flitting back to Jasmine for a moment before returning to me.
“It’s good to meet you,” I told them both.
The couple that had been loading their canoe on the beach when we walked up approached us, their orange canoe half on the shore, packed and ready to go. As they walked, the guy reached out to hold her hand. He was tall and lean, with strawberry blond hair and light blue, smiling eyes.
She was a head and a half shorter; a tiny, slender little thing with dark wavy hair that reached below her shoulders. Her eyes were warm pools of hazel, and her smile was illuminating and friendly.
“Lux, this is Zoey and Kai!” Jasmine explained, grinning as her friends swarmed me.
Kai nodded in greeting, lifting his free hand to wave. Zoey smiled warmly at me. “Hey! It’s so nice to meet you!”
“You too,” I replied, smiling at the warmth and ease behind the group. They all appeared to welcome my crashing of their camping trip with open arms.
“Where are Rhiannon and Baz?” Jasmine asked, peering around the launch. I realized two were missing from her original count.
“They’re already at the campsite,” Desmond answered. “They got here yesterday, so they were able to secure the best one.”
“Ok, great. You’ll meet those two soon,” she assured me. “I guess that leaves Talia, over there, in the kayak,” she added, gesturing to the girl in the kayak.
“Hey!” Talia called out and waved when she heard her name, the friendly smile still in place on her lips. She was covered in tattoos, and her pixie cut was edgy, somehow. I waved back, returning her smiling. Talia had an infectious smile that evoked one in response.
I’d felt Theo’s eyes on me the entire time Jasmine had been making introductions. I stole a glance, to see if he really was looking. When our eyes connected, my body thrummed in a way it never had before.
It was disorienting.
Turning my head, I fixed Jasmine with a telling look. “Don’t we still have to go pay for our permits?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Yes,” Jasmine replied. “Do you want to go pay while I get the canoe in the water?”
I wasn’t satisfied with this suggestion. I’d been hoping to pin Jasmine down and find out what my wicked friend was up to. I sincerely hoped that it wasn’t a matchmaking attempt, but the way she had watched while Theo introduced himself had me questioning her intent with this trip. Plus, the odd things she’d said about how much I was going to enjoy this trip.
If it was a misguided matchmaking attempt, I had to nip that in the bud before Jasmine could run with it.
While my belief in love hadn’t died, I was reluctant to jump into anything new. It was the first time I’d been single in years, and I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant for me yet. I wanted the time to figure it out, though.
There were enough changes on my horizon as it was. I had begun the process of job hunting, and that would mean a move. I couldn’t be picky about where, either. I needed a job sooner rather than later, and my own place.
But Jasmine had a solution for that, too—and she’d already laid down the groundwork. I looked at her suspiciously.
“Yeah, sure,” I said, smiling lightly at the people I’d just met to mask the wariness I felt before I turned around and started walking.
“Don’t forget to take down the license plate number! They’ll need that inside,” Jasmine told me. I backtracked to take a picture of Jasmine’s plate before walking toward the store alone.
When I was a few steps away from the wooden porch, I glanced back over my shoulder, making the briefest eye contact with Theo. Butterflies took flight in the depths of my stomach, swarms of them—all in response to his arresting smile.
I forced myself forward, worrying every silly little school-girl emotion he’d made me feel had been reflected clear as day on my face. It was the curse of the redhead—our emotions and reactions were so easily displayed on our faces.
My footfalls echoed on the old wooden planks as I climbed the porch steps leading to the store. I walked through the open door and paused inside of it, taking in my surroundings. To my right was a long counter with the cash register, and to the left was rows of shelves filled with all kinds of supplies. Dry foods, snacks, cases of water bottles, tarps and anything else one might need.
It was like a genuine general store from the frontier days—with newer products, mind you. I couldn’t help but take my time, soaking it in. I loved places like this; places that felt like you were in another time completely.
I headed towards the counter, and the woman behind it smiled at me as I approached.
“Just parking, or are you camping?” she asked.
“Both,” I replied, leaning against the counter.
“How many of you, and how many nights? Will you be renting a canoe or kayak?”
“There are two of us for four nights, and we brought a canoe.” I answered pleasantly, and the woman set to filling out a ticket receipt.
“License plate number and vehicle type, please?” she asked.
I pulled up the picture and recited the plate number and vehicle type. While I waited for her to write it down, I glanced around the store.
“Have you ever camped along the French River before?” the woman asked, making friendly conversation.
I laughed lightly. “I’ve never camped at all, actually. This will be a first for me.” I replied. “But I’m going with a bunch of experts,” I added hastily when I noticed the alarm on the woman’s face.
“Oh, that’s good then.” She relaxed and went back to filling out the permits. While she did that, I continued looking around with interest.
The thick hardwood floors and wooden embellishes added to the aesthetic of an old general store. It was exactly like taking a step back in time. Even the postcards in the rack sitting on the counter by the register had an old-timey charm to them. On a whim I grabbed one, tossing it down on the counter.
The cash register dinged as the woman rang it in. “That’ll be ninety dollars and thirty-five cents,” she said. After paying, I accepted the permits from her outstretched hand. “Enjoy your trip! I’m sure you’ll love it, it’s such a beautiful place.”
“Thank you!” I replied over my shoulder.
By the time I returned to the boat launch, Jasmine and Theo had already gotten the canoe down and were loading it up with the camping supplies.
“Put the parking permit in the car, Lux! We’ll need to bring the camping permits in case someone comes by to check that we have them.”
Nodding, I veered off to do as Jasmine had instructed. I opened the passenger door and reached in, placing the parking permit against the windshield. I tucked the postcard into the glove box and straightened, closing the door before bringing the camping permits over to the canoe.
Jasmine took the papers from my outstretched hand and put them in the small waterproof container along with her phone. I’d been tempted to leave mine behind in her car, but worried about the potential of someone breaking in and taking it—or missing an important email.
Turning, I headed back to the car to help finish unloading it, ignoring my phone—still buzzing and overwhelmed with Snap updates—in the centre console.
There wasn’t much left, and I was able to carry the rest of it over to the stony beach by myself. Theo met me there.
“Here, let me get that for you.”
His voice was decadent, filling me with saccharine sensations. Our eyes made contact yet again, tension of the sweetest kind building. Theo smiled again, his white teeth flashing against his lips as he took the last of the bags from me. I turned on my heel, feeling a little off balance, and went to go move the car while he loaded the supplies into our canoe.
I slid behind the wheel and started the engine, moving the car to an open spot in the parking lot. Getting out, I hesitated by the door for a moment, staring at my phone. The likelihood I’d get a signal while camping was low, but I couldn’t imagine letting the next several days pass without once checking my email. I wasn’t planning on being on it the whole time, but I wanted the option of checking to see if any of the jobs I’d applied to responded. I knew I might want to take a few pictures, too, since it had been so long since Jas and I had last hung out.
But I didn’t want to be bombarded with Snaps. My amusement of the app had died on the spot the moment I’d received that Snap of Brinley and Scott together. Reaching back in, I grabbed my phone from the console and deleted the stupid app without any further hesitation.
Instant relief came with that choice.
My moment of celebration ended when I looked up and realized the majority of the group was watching me. I was that city girl, holding them up by playing on my phone. Cheeks flushing, I walked quickly, not wanting to delay the others any longer.
“Everything okay?” Jas asked me when I reached her.
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I smiled, showing her that I was, indeed, fine.
“Good. Put the keys and your phone in here,” she passed me the waterproof container. I did as she asked, putting the keys and my phone in the waterproof container along with the permits and Jasmine’s phone. I passed her the container and she tucked it beneath the bench.
Our canoe was so packed with supplies, I couldn’t see how it’d stay afloat once we were in it too, but Jasmine didn’t seem concerned. She climbed into the back of the canoe, leaving the front for me.
I slipped my lifejacket on, eyeing the canoe with mistrust. Taking a deep breath, I put one foot inside. It wobbled and my heart jumped at the unfamiliar motion.
Strong, incredibly attractive hands came to grip the nose of the canoe, steadying it. I looked up, meeting Theo’s eyes.
He smiled at me encouragingly. The darker flecks in the irises of his deep green eyes made them seem endless. He had the kind of eyes I could willingly get lost in.
Shaken, I dropped my gaze and smiled tightly, gripping onto the side of the canoe as I climbed the rest of the way in. The exchange had taken but seconds, a moment suspended in time that was as arresting as it was fleeting. A moment that seemed more significant than most others; permanently etched in time. But before I could ponder too much on it, Jasmine began to paddle. She gave me instructions on how to do it, and I did my best to listen.
It wasn’t so bad—in fact the way the paddle cut through the water was soothing, although I knew Jasmine was doing most of the work. I tried, but my arms were slow and cumbersome.
Plus…I was a little distracted. Under the guise of taking in the rather beautiful surroundings, I turned my head and was blessed with the sight of Theo cutting through the water gracefully, his muscles working with each powerful stroke as he paddled alongside Desmond. He said something to the bearded man that made them both laugh.
Even Theo’s laugh was enticing—rich and free.
His eyes caught mine, and his smile grew, calling out to something inside me. My lips twitched, and I gave him the tiniest smile back. I felt silly for having been caught staring yet again. I forced my gaze forward instead, refocusing my attention on the sights ahead of me.
We’d already paddled beneath a large bridge and through a channel of rocky cliffs that lined the river. We passed some cottages with wooden steps leading to old, rickety docks, and an abandoned picnic table dangled precariously on a rocky bluff.
It was breathtaking. The air up north felt different from the air down south; clearer, somehow, and everything seemed brighter, even behind my sunglasses. The energy around me was mellow. The group I travelled with wasn’t boisterous, but they chatted merrily amongst themselves with a familiarity that both calmed and entertained me.
It also made me painfully aware that I’d let things like friendships and connections fall to the wayside in recent years, I had been so focused on finishing school. I used an old relationship as a security blanket, letting it put a buffer between me and my new classmates. I’d refuse invites out because I had a boyfriend, and eventually the invitations had come less and less. My peers realized I wasn’t going to take time off studying to join them.
Looking at the friendships Jasmine now had with people she’d met throughout college, I regretted not taking the time to make any new lasting friendships of my own.
But I had been so outside of my comfort zone, that the only way to press forward had been to wrap myself up in what was comfortable and familiar. Studying, schoolwork—that was familiar, I could do that. So was remaining in a relationship I wasn’t even happy with, simply because it was all I’d known for so long.
I’d stumbled across a quote by George Santayana recently, about how familiarity breeds contempt only when it breeds inattention. It made me realize that inattention had killed my relationship with Scott long before my sister had taken him to bed.
About an hour into paddling, my arms began to ache. “Can we stop for a minute? I need to put sunscreen on,” I asked. Jasmine nodded and set her paddle over her lap. She reached beneath her feet and grabbed a bottle of sunscreen, tossing it to me.
I miraculously caught it and began to apply it. My fair skin always burned, so I’d become an expert at applying sunscreen I was done within seconds and went to toss the bottle back.
“Keep it up there,” Jasmine grinned, grabbing her paddle again. “We’re almost at the campsite. Besides, you have shitty aim.”
“I do not,” I frowned, rubbing gingerly at my biceps.
“Have you forgotten the incident with Trina?” she snorted, and I stuck my tongue out at her over my shoulder. Trina had been a girl at our high school. I’d broken her nose in grade ten—accidentally of course. We’d been forced to play volleyball in gym class, and when it was my turn to serve, the ball took an unscheduled journey of its own and smashed into Trina’s face. I’d felt so terrible, I’d cried more than she did.
Jas was right, though. My aim wasn’t the greatest, and the sunscreen would end up in the water if I attempted it, but it was a relief to hear we were nearly there. I picked up the paddle again, bringing it through the water with a determined—albeit painful —steady stroke.
Theo and Desmond had passed us some time ago, and were up ahead with Talia, leading the group in their kayaks, which seemed to cut faster through the water. Kai and Zoey were a little way ahead of us, seemingly in their own little world. Her occasional laughter at something he’d said would drift back over the water.
Jasmine and I were lagging, held back due to my inexperience. I wasn’t as precise with the paddle as she was. My arms weren’t used to the vigorous workout, but never-the-less I persisted, too stubborn to quit, pushing my aching biceps until we reached a segment in the river divided by rocky cliffs. We stayed to the left of the river, paddling past three of the large rocks.
More glaciated rock cliffs lined the river, sloping downward to the forested area in behind. At the top of one steep-walled gorge, two people stood: a lean, tall man wearing swim trunks and a small, pixie-like woman with long blonde hair holding a camera that obscured most of her face. A large brown and white dog stood beside the woman, his tail wagging. The couple waved, and the dog barked—although the wind carried the sound of it away.
“That’d be Baz and Rhiannon! You’ll love them.” Jasmine reassured me. “Rhiannon is a photographer—don’t mind the camera. She brings it everywhere.”
Unease settled in my stomach. “Great. I hope she doesn’t plan on taking any of me.”
Jasmine sent a sympathetic look my way. She knew I could be weird about photos. That little quirk of mine could be traced back to my mother, and her obsession with the perfect photo. Mom was used to modelling, so being in front of the camera felt natural to her the way it felt natural to Brinley. Dad and I were awkward, one of us always blinking or smiling not quite right. Christmas portraits were always a feat and a half, and Mom never seemed satisfied with the end result.
It was silly, but things like that had put a lot of pressure on me. Pressure to be perfect and happy, even if I wasn’t feeling that. It’d set Brinley on a path of self-destruction, too, as she vied with other influencers for likes and attention.
Although I had social media accounts, I didn’t frequently post to them or check them. They were locked down and private, I didn’t care for likes or views. I mostly had them to peek in on what my friends and family were up to. It was a convenient way of keeping up with everybody’s lives when I was too busy with school to make calls. In fact, the last photo I’d posted had been taken with Jasmine when we were at the Eaton Centre in December.
I watched as the three kayaks disappeared around the side of the latest cliff. A few minutes later, Kai and Zoey followed suit. Finally, a sandy beach came into view. From what I could see, beyond the sandy beach there was a lot of pine covered hills and rocky cliffs.
“We’re here!” Jasmine declared.
“Really?” I arched a brow, wondering where we were going to set up our tent. Didn’t you need flat ground for setting up tents? The hills looked far too steep, and the beach too sandy, the rocks too…rocky. But I bit back my questions, forcing myself to release some of my tedious need for control. Jasmine and her friends knew what they were doing, I just had to trust them.
“This is the best campsite on the river. I wasn’t sure it would be available, but I’m glad it is! It’s a good thing Baz and Rhiannon got here early enough to snag it for us. You’re going to love it,” she promised, steering the canoe toward the beach. “There’s even a thunderbox!”
“What’s a thunderbox?” I asked, glancing at her over my shoulder.
“It’s a box over a hole in the woods that you do your business in,” she explained. “Like an outhouse, but without the coverage.”
I turned forward, blinking with reluctant acceptance. I suppose it was better than trying to squat. I hoped it was far enough off the beaten path that I wouldn’t have an audience, yet close enough to camp that I wouldn’t get lost or eaten by a bear.
Feeling my anxiety rising, I drew in a controlled breath, focusing on the sound of nature around me; at the waves lapping gently against the side of the canoe and the birds chirping. Instantly, I felt the anxiety decreasing.
It really was beautiful; I could see why Jasmine was so sure I’d fall in love with camping. I still didn’t believe that was possible, but the landscape and the scenery already had my heart. I’d marveled at the natural rock formations as we’d paddled in, having never seen anything quite like it in person. Perhaps in pictures, but never looming so impossibly tall over me.
It made me feel incredibly small, and a part of something huge.
The rest of the group had reached the beach before us, and they’d all set to unpacking.
Theo stood on the beach beside his kayak. He’d tossed his life jacket into his kayak and still hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on. Not that I wanted him to—it was distracting in the best way possible, but I still would need to work on not gaping at him. We were camping, and I’d be gifted this sight of him shirtless more often than not.
My eyes tracked across his golden chest on their own accord, appreciating the hard lines and curves of his body. I turned my head when he looked up, not wanting to get caught. When he went back to unloading his supplies, I snuck another look; he caught me. Turned out he was watching me as much as I was watching him. This time, I didn’t avert my eyes.
The front end of the canoe hit the sand, and it came to a stop. Before I could blink, Theo was there, effortlessly tugging the canoe so that the nose was fully on the beach. He held out a hand, offering to assist my climb out.
I smiled my thanks, but chose to ignore his outstretched hand—even if a part of me wanted to touch him—just because. Although this was new to me, I was a quick learner, and I’d adjusted to the rocking motion of the canoe during the long trip down the river. I was no longer scared of it, and there wasn’t much to fear anyway now that we’d made it to the beach.
Not wanting to appear like a damsel in distress, I hopped out on my own, my flip-flop covered feet splashing into the two inches of water.