7. Cliffs and Climbs
7
CLIFFS AND CLIMBS
T heo
It had been hard to keep my attention off Lux throughout breakfast. My eyes were drawn to her, like a moth to the flame—and I knew it wasn’t because she was new and interesting—and gorgeous. Her beauty was undeniable, but there was something about her soul that called to mine.
She sat across from me, same as the night before, her body slightly inclined towards Jasmine as they talked about the impending day. When she offered to clean up after breakfast, I had to resist the urge to jump up and offer to help too. I gave her some time at the wash station, trying to calm my eagerness at the prospect of standing near her.
I hadn’t felt this excited to be in someone’s company in far too long, and I hadn’t felt this strong of a pull of interest in someone—ever. I knew Desmond and Talia noticed my eagerness. Desmond was too stoic to call me out again, but Talia kept wriggling her eyebrows at me and grinning widely anytime I caught her eye.
“Go talk to her,” she urged, her voice bordering on a whisper. “You know you want to. Stop torturing yourself—and by proxy, the rest of us.”
While Lux was absorbed in drying, I got up and went to carry my dishes over, but Talia stopped me, stacking hers on top with a wink.
Lux saw me approaching. “I can wash those,” she offered, holding her delicate hand out to take them.
“It’s alright, I’ve got them,” I smiled, stepping closer beside her, and setting the dishes in the wash bin.
“It’s the least I can do, really. I didn’t have to cook,” she tried to insist, tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear, her eyes not quite meeting mine.
“You don’t have to earn your keep, We’re on vacation here and everyone leans into their strengths. I know it feels like the division of labour isn’t equal, but we’re a team. Some of us excel at getting the fire started and keeping it going, while others are way better cooks and handle the meals. Trust me, you don’t really want to eat anything Talia makes, but she’s excellent at chopping wood.” I assured her, a smile growing on my lips. I held out my hand and gently took the cloth from her, our fingers brushing yet again.
Something sparked in me, like it had all the times before, and I could tell by the way she bit her lower lip that she felt it too, this connection between us.
I’d only just met her, but she felt familiar. She felt right . It was the strangest feeling, but one I didn’t mind embracing. I started washing the dishes, my focus not really on the task at hand. She lingered, unsure of whether she should stay. I didn’t want her to go, so I decided to engage her.
“So, what do you think so far?” I asked, gesturing with my head to our campsite while I ran the washcloth over the dishes in the bin. She dried them while I washed, the two of us falling into harmony.
“I like it,” Lux admitted, sounding surprised. “I actually slept great last night, even if it felt like I was going to slide off my mattress and down the hill.”
“It’s all that fresh air,” I grinned. She smiled back, a little shy, but I could see the intrigue dancing in her irises. “It’s good for the soul, even at that angle.”
“Yeah. I’m glad I came. I mean, I might change my mind if Jasmine throws me off the cliff today, but for now, I’m really glad I let her talk me into coming.”
“I’m really glad you let her talk you into coming, too,” I told her, trying to keep my tone light. Even if what I was feeling was…heavier. An attraction I couldn’t deny, an intrigue I couldn’t ignore.
Lux’s smile brightened, her eyes catching the glow of the morning sun, and I swear my heart tripped over its beat in my chest.
“Well, I better go get changed,” she said, moving away from the wash station. I nodded, watching her go.
* * *
After breakfast clean up, we packed some food for our day excursion and then Desmond, Baz and I set to securing the coolers. We tied them off with thick ropes, hoisting them up in the trees out of reach so no animals would be lured over while we were gone.
We had never come across a bear while camping along the French River, but none of us wanted to take any chances. Even squirrels and raccoons could ruin a trip if they got into our food, so we didn’t want to risk it. The nearest grocery store was an hour-long paddle and a forty-five-minute drive away.
With that task complete, we started getting ready. Everyone changed into their swimsuits, and then the canoes and kayaks were packed and pulled out into the water.
It wasn’t a long paddle down the river to the best cliff jumping spot, but we took our time, enjoying the sights along the way.
Desmond kept pace with me, and for the first half of the trip we lingered behind. I knew he was keeping an eye on everyone. He was the protector of the group. The fixer. He might be slinging back cold ones like the rest of us, but he always kept his senses about him.
I hadn’t seen him drunk in years—hell, I was pretty sure the only time I’d ever seen Desmond drunk was the first time we’d raided our parents’ liquor cabinets before a camping trip at Baz’s, way back when none of us knew our limits.
But Desmond was even more quiet than usual, his gaze kept focusing on Jasmine. Each time she laughed as she teased Lux, he’d smile.
“You really should tell her how you feel,” I said quietly, careful to not let my voice carry over the water. Desmond looked at me, his brow furrowing.
“It’s not that simple. Whether she feels the same or…whether she doesn’t, it’ll change everything.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” I cocked a brow at him.
He shrugged. “It could be. Especially if she doesn’t feel the same. Then everything changes for nothing. I could lose her friendship, and I don’t want that.”
I nodded slowly, absorbing his worries. I couldn’t promise him the ending he desired, but I knew him; keeping it to himself was doing them both a disservice. I’d caught Jasmine watching him a few times, too. There was something there, but they were both too afraid to peel back the layers and see what it was.
“Remember Stacy?” Desmond said out of the blue. Stacy was a friend we’d had back in middle school. Desmond had developed feelings for her that went beyond friendship, and was crushed when he’d asked her to the grade eight graduation dance and she’d said no.
“Stacy wasn’t destined to be in your life, or mine, for long.” I shrugged. “And furthermore: Jasmine isn’t Stacy.”
“I know,” Desmond nodded, his gaze going back to her. “She’s so much…more. And I don’t want to lose her friendship or make things awkward.”
“What if she feels the same?” I challenged. “You could be missing out on the one .”
Desmond lifted his shoulder in a shrug, a contemplative look on his face.
Lux
I stared up at the rocky cliff with my jaw slack, my throat impossibly dry. “You guys jump off of that ?” I asked, my fingers clinging to the paddle I’d rested over my knees, craning my neck to look up.
“Yeah, it’s a straight drop, and the water’s really deep.” Jasmine shrugged with a grin.
“Okay,” I nodded, taking a few deep breaths to steady my racing heart. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m participating in that madness.” I dropped my gaze, my eyes landing on Theo. He’d stopped in front of us, turning and offering me a smile that calmed the frantic beats of my heart, rebooting it, making it beat rapidly for an entirely different reason, one that wasn’t all that unpleasant.
“You don’t have to,” Jasmine assured me. “None of this is compulsory. Just enjoy yourself.”
I picked up my paddle again, slicing it through the water. Theo’s paddle cut through the water with powerful strokes, his muscles taut and glistening with water droplets as he rowed away. He looked back at me as he passed, and I felt it thrum throughout me, a resounding echo.
Heaving a breath, I tore my gaze away from him, steely determination keeping me from stealing another peek at his back, although it was really tempting. He was every bit as breathtaking as the scenic backdrop.
Talia stood on a flat rock near the shoreline, waiting while Desmond climbed out of his kayak, using the blade of his paddle to keep it from drifting. He’d tied it off with the long rope attached to Talia’s kayak and moved it aside, tossing his paddle in while Theo pulled up parallel to the flat rock.
Purposefully, I tore my gaze away, not wanting to get caught gawking at him by Talia.
“You know, it’s okay to have a thing for him. He’s a nice guy,” Jasmine said, low enough for only me to hear.
“I thought you were pushing the single lifestyle.”
“I am,” Jasmine shrugged, a conniving glint in her eyes. “Dip your toes in the water, experience a little living. Kiss a cute stranger on a camping trip, because you’re single and he’s single and you both can.”
I bit my lip, my head turning forward again. Theo was out of his boat now, his kayak tied off to the rest of them. Could I ? Looking at him, every part of me shouted yes, I could. I had to stop being so afraid of every ripple effect.
Jasmine steered us to the flat rock where the others waited. “Toss them the rope, Lux!” she instructed. I scooped up the wet rope and tossed it toward them. Theo caught it, and Desmond held the canoe parallel with the rock, keeping it steady for us.
Jasmine stood, tossing her hiking bag onto the flat rock. She and Desmond exchanged a glance that lingered a little longer than necessary before I tossed my bag out and inadvertently broke their connection. She climbed out of the canoe, grabbing her bag, and moving toward the group gathered at the base of the cliff.
Curious , I thought. Jasmine had never mentioned having a thing for anyone; but of course, I knew my friend better than most. Commitment was something that had always made her antsy…which was a little ironic, considering her parents were still happily married after nearly thirty years together.
It wasn’t a topic Jasmine liked to get into too much. She always said she had plenty of time to settle down, and now wasn’t it.
But those brief few moments had shown me that Jasmine was definitely interested in Desmond; and she was fighting that interest with everything she had. I didn’t even think Desmond had a clue. Jasmine was pretty good at concealing her true feelings. After all, she had a politician for a father—and a grandfather. But I knew. I could detect it. It became more and more apparent with each of their interactions.
Jasmine waited for me on the ledge. I stood up, the canoe wobbling as I climbed ungracefully out and scrambled onto the rock. Theo reached for me, steadying my elbow with his hand. He released me when I found my footing, and I sent him a grateful smile.
He returned it, winking before he jumped into the water, the rope to our canoe still in hand. He swam toward the row of kayaks and tied it off, making room for Kai and Zoey to pull up to the ledge. Kai tossed him the rope, and once they’d climbed out onto the ledge, he swam over and tied their canoe to Jasmine’s before swimming back.
I couldn’t help but watch as Theo pulled himself out of the water. His muscles working in tandem was a mouth-watering sight, and when he straightened—his deep green eyes rooted on me—I let out an internal sigh before mentally slapping myself.
I adjusted my bag and turned to Jasmine, ignoring her as she raised her eyebrows at me. We started up the steep incline, trailing behind Talia, with Theo and Desmond behind us and Kai and Zoey making up the rear.
The dog, Moose, was trotting alongside Rhiannon, occasionally falling a little behind when he stopped to sniff along the trail.
The sun’s hot rays beat down on the back of my neck, and by the time we reached the top of the trail, I was ready to jump off the cliff just to get to the water quicker to cool off. My tank top stuck to my back, and my skin was slick with sweat.
Shrugging my pack off, I let it fall to the ground as I pulled my tank off, revealing another one of my bikinis—this one was black and the ties more secure. The slight breeze against my sweaty skin was a temporary respite from the heat, but soon even that wasn’t enough, and the water below began to look appealing.
The drop, though? Not so much.
The others moved to set their own packs down on the pink and grey granite, beneath the shade of cedars.
Theo made his way up beside me, his body coming close to mine as he passed. He put his bag down beside the fire pit and rooted through it, grabbing a bottle of water. “Want one?” he offered me. I nodded, moving closer to him so I could accept the proffered drink.
We sat around for about twenty-minutes, rehydrating and talking.
Talia was the first person to jump off the cliff. She ran for the edge as soon as she finished her beer. Her “yew-yaw!” followed her all the way down, until she broke the water’s surface. Baz followed right after her, with little fanfare. One moment he was there, the next he was gone.
As the others gathered near the edge of the ledge, I lingered back with Rhiannon. She was taking photos of the group in rapid succession. She focused on Kai and Zoey as they ran and jumped holding hands.
“What does it feel like?” I asked Jasmine, who stood on my other side, as we watched Desmond take a running leap and disappear over the edge.
“Kind of like falling off a swing, but a little longer.” She lurched forward suddenly, jogging away from me to join Theo at the edge. She said something to him before jumping over, her dark curls fanning out behind her.
I bit my bottom lip, wondering if I could do it. Theo glanced back at me over his shoulder, and I heard the shutter of Rhiannon’s camera as she moved closer to capture his jump.
I crept forward too, peering down, watching as Theo disappeared into the water. My heart started to pound a little quicker as I waited for him to resurface. He did so a moment later, already swimming away from the cliffs.
“Want to see what it looks like from below?” Rhiannon asked. “I’m going to go get some shots of them jumping from down there.”
“Sure.” I was thankful she hadn’t pressured me to jump too. I followed her back down the hill—losing my footing a couple of times. I could see how jumping would be easier, but I didn’t think I was ready for that. Moose ambled along behind us.
We passed Talia, Kai and Zoey on our descent. Desmond, Theo, and Jasmine were pulling themselves out of the water when we got to the bottom.
“So much fun!” Jasmine grinned, squeezing the water out of her hair.
“Invigorating,” Desmond agreed, momentarily held captive by her. He quickly caught himself before she noticed, dragging his attention to Moose, who’d knocked the stick he found against his leg. Desmond threw it into the water for him, and Moose took off after it.
“You gonna try?” Jasmine asked me.
“I think it might be a little high for me,” I admitted. “I’m happy to watch you crazy kids.”
Jasmine nodded. “Okay, well. I’m going to jump again!” she said, following Desmond back up the path.
Baz was getting their canoe ready, a grin on his face, like he instinctively knew what Rhiannon wanted before she even said anything.
“We’re going to take the canoe so I can get a better view. Want to join us?” Rhiannon asked.
“Thanks, but I’ll watch from here,” I smiled.
“Suit yourself,” she nodded, expertly stepping into the canoe and sitting down. Baz helped Moose in and paddled them out, leaving enough space for everyone to keep jumping safely.
“Want some company?” Theo asked me.
“Don’t you want to jump again?”
“I can later,” he smiled as he sat down on the rock, submerging his legs in the water. I hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside him and dipping my legs in the river too. The water was cool and refreshing, but sitting so close to him had me feeling heated in other ways.
We watched as Talia jumped again, this time shot-gunning a beer while she fell. I watched, wondering how someone could be so fearless and adventurous.
“Not a fan of heights, huh?” Theo asked.
“Not particularly,” I admitted with a wry grin. “I’m also not a fan of rollercoasters.”
“I don’t like rollercoasters either,” he laughed. “I always end up wondering how frequently they check all the bolts and replace parts.”
“Yeah. Final Destination really messed me up for rollercoasters. I also don’t like driving behind log trucks,” I let out a self-deprecating laugh.
“Who does?” Theo grinned. “That franchise is to blame for a lot of our generation’s fears, I think.”
“What franchise did what now?” Talia asked, swimming over to us.
“We were just talking about Final Destination,” Theo explained.
“Ah, yes. Messed up movies. I love a good horror movie, but those movies gave me the heebie jeebies. I couldn’t go to the dentist for years ,” Talia grinned. “Flat out refused to get braces ‘cause I was convinced I’d end up dying. My parents were so thrilled.” Her teeth were a little crooked, but perfectly white.
“I still won’t start a barbeque,” I admitted. Not that I’d been given many opportunities to do so—barbequing was my dad’s forte, and we didn’t have one at my college dorms. But even if given the opportunity, I don’t think I would be able to get the barbeque death out of my head. With my luck, I really would explode.
Talia laughed and hoisted herself out of the water. “Well, I guess we can either succumb to our fears, or push past them. I no longer hide from the dentist, but opted against braces now that my parents won’t pay for them.” She gave me a cheeky grin.
I bit my lip, considering her words. She was right, after all. For so long, I’d erred on the side of caution, sticking to what was familiar and comfortable. I didn’t push myself outside my own comfort levels, didn’t push the boundaries of that familiarity. I stuck to what I knew, even if it hurt me, even if it didn’t bring me joy.
Scott was a testament to that. I’d never felt for him a fraction of my attraction to Theo, and yet I’d stayed for so long with him. I couldn’t even say the relationship brought me comfort, it had been more or less a mask I’d worn.
With that mask gone—and with Theo’s dark green eyes on me—I felt like an entirely new person.
“So, are you gonna jump?” Talia added, smiling like she knew I was kind of considering it. Theo was still watching me, his eyes full of intrigue and patience. The corner of his lip lifted in a half-smile that sent sparks up my spine.
“I don’t know, but I’ll go back up with you guys,” I replied, standing up and brushing the debris from my thighs. I still wasn’t sold on jumping, but I sensed Theo was keeping me company instead of jumping himself.
The three of us walked back up the pathway. Before long, we came to the top of the cliff. Zoey and Kai were near the fire pit, coaxing the flames to grow. Zoey had a package of hotdogs beside her, and Kai was taking a couple of pills, washing it back with a bottle of water.
I tensed, worried about what type of pills they were. I didn’t think Jasmine would be friends with anyone illegally doing drugs, but I didn’t relax until I noticed the medicine container beside him on the rock. He closed it, tucking it away in his bag before pulling out a granola bar and saying something to Zoey that made her laugh and shake her head.
Jasmine and Desmond stood near the edge of the cliff, locked in a conversation I couldn’t hear. They pulled apart when they saw us, and Jasmine waved at me before launching herself over the cliff. Desmond watched her with an unreadable expression. He waited until she’d resurfaced before he jumped too. There was definitely a vibe between the two of them, but nobody else seemed to be picking up on it.
Talia went over to the cooler bag, grabbing three beers, and walked back over to us, handing one to me and another to Theo.
“Feel like shot-gunning while we jump?” she asked Theo, but her eyes slid to me, too, including me in on the invitation.
“Sure,” Theo grinned, his eyes moving to me, awaiting my answer.
“I don’t think I’m ready yet,” I admitted.
Theo’s hand briefly touched my elbow. “No pressure,” he assured me.
I looked down at the contact, unsurprised by the pleasant jolt it sent coursing through my nerves. All too soon, it was over. Theo removed his hand and ambled over to the edge of the cliff with Talia. I followed to watch them jump.
Talia cracked her beer open and Theo did the same. Talia started counting down, and when they got to one, they launched themselves over the edge of the cliff at the same time, lifting the beers to their mouths and drinking as they fell.
I watched from above, a smile tempering my lips, and shook my head. What would it feel like to have zero hesitation launching yourself off a cliff? I couldn’t imagine. Even thinking about it had my stomach rioting with nerves. From my position on top of the cliff, it looked like a steep fall.
But I couldn’t help but wonder: how would it feel? To have the wind whipping through my hair? To let myself fall? To give in to the desire to do something reckless and foolish just because a small part of me wanted to?
What if I gave into that small part, for the sake of trying something new?
Theo and Talia broke the water’s surface. I wasn’t sure how much of their beers they were able to drink, but I laughed when they resurfaced and Talia crushed her empty can in her hand victoriously.