Chapter 5
Chapter Five
“Hear that?”
Cal sat on the stairs on the MacIsaacs’ back deck, Austin’s dad on his left, and listened. A bird trilled from a nearby tree.
“That’s a Stellar’s jay,” Paul MacIsaac said. “Here, take a look.” He passed Cal his binoculars and pointed to the right. “It’s in that tree there.”
Cal found it easily, a black and blue bird with a mohawk sitting regally on the highest branch.
Cal had arrived ten minutes ago, toolbox in hand, ready to fix the wobbly doorknob on the bathroom door. Paul had rolled his eyes, claimed he was going to get to it—in his defense, he probably would, just six months from now—and told Cal to join him outside.
“Is this what you do in retirement?” Cal asked, passing the binoculars back. “Birdwatch?”
“It’s how I like to spend my mornings now.”
“How do you identify birds you don’t know? Google?”
Paul chuckled lightly. “Google? Nope. There’s an app for that, son.”
As always, being called son by this man had an incongruous mixture of love and vulnerability jolting through him.
“You record the birdsong or take a picture of the bird,” Paul went on, “upload it to the app, and it identifies it for you.”
“What do you do if it’s raining?”
“Sit inside at the back door.” Paul jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the kitchen door. “Birds are still out in the rain.”
What must it be like to sit around for hours and watch the birds? Cal had been out here for only a few minutes and already he was itching to do something productive. It was kind of nice to sit around and do nothing like he sometimes did with Austin at the end of a long day, but he had a laundry list of things to get done today—starting with the doorknob—and if he didn’t get going soon, he’d still be at it at midnight.
Besides, doing nothing didn’t accomplish anything.
The kitchen door opened with a squeak of hinges and Austin stepped out. His smile for his dad was open and loving, as uninhibited as it ever was.
The smile he turned on Cal was the same... yet not.
There was something a little... more ... to it. It was a touch wider, a tad more delighted. He was clearly pleasantly surprised to see Cal, yet behind the obvious joy was a flare of longing that was so quickly banked, Cal could’ve sworn he was seeing things.
But he wasn’t. He knew Austin’s expressions as well as he knew every acre of Windsor Ranch.
Was Austin longing to... take Cal’s place and sit next to his dad and birdwatch? That didn’t feel right. Austin wasn’t a jealous individual, and besides, if he wanted to birdwatch with his dad, he could do so anytime.
That meant the longing was aimed at... Cal?
Cal almost snorted in disbelief. Sure. Austin was pining for him .
Austin didn’t pine. Austin wanted, and he went and got. He was a go-getter. Always had been.
He sat on his dad’s other side and looked at Cal around his dad’s back. “I didn’t realize you’d be here.”
“I came to fix the doorknob on the bathroom door.”
“I could’ve done that.”
Cal raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you even know your way around a hammer?”
Austin gasped dramatically. “That’s just mean.”
“I don’t need either of you to fix my doorknobs,” Paul grumbled. “I said I’d get to it.”
“Sure.” There was no disguising the amused doubt in Austin’s voice. “At Christmas, when one of mom’s party guests gets locked in the bathroom.”
“We should make sure it’s your Aunt Edna. That way we don’t have to listen to her complain that the turkey is dry.”
“Are you kidding? You know she’ll just find something else to complain about.” Austin bumped his dad’s shoulder. “So? Discover any new birds lately?”
“Just the Stellar’s jay. It’s over there.” Paul gestured but quickly let his arm drop. “Ah, well. It was. Looks like it’s gone. It was stunning, though, wasn’t it, Cal?”
“He did look pretty badass,” Cal confirmed. “Like the bird version of a rock star.”
Austin laughed at that, and the sound hit Cal right in the solar plexus, in that place where everything he’d ever longed for sat hidden behind layers of walls thick enough to hide even his own feelings from himself.
Usually.
Cal didn’t know what it was about Austin lately that made him notice everything about him more than he normally did, as though someone had stuck a spotlight on him. His every move was an imaginary caress along Cal’s skin, and even the freckles across the bridge of his nose seemed more pronounced than usual, taunting Cal, begging him to press a gentle kiss to each one as he counted them.
Christ. He was losing his mind over his best friend.
As if he didn’t already know that there were thirty-two freckles. He’d counted them ages ago by light of a camping lantern when he’d shared a tent with Austin on a MacIsaac family camping trip.
Paul patted Austin’s knee. “What brings you by?”
The good humor fled Austin’s face. “Have you talked to Ben lately?”
“Not in a few days. Why?”
“I spoke with him yesterday, and he’s...” Austin’s shoulders slumped, and the beseeching look he gave his dad was full of heartbreak. “Dad, I think he’s lonely. And sad.”
“Do we need to go get him?” Cal asked, remembering Ben MacIsaac as—like Las and his sister—the little brother he’d never had. Spunky and full of mischief, always ready for an adventure, whether that was scouring the backyard for four-leaf clovers to summon a leprechaun or learning to do tricks on one of the tamer Windsor Ranch horses. In a way, he was a lot like Austin—what he wanted, he went after.
So what did he want in London that was keeping him there?
Austin smiled wanly. “Maybe. I figured I’d give him a few more months. If, by then, he still sounds like he wants to crawl under a tree and hide, then yes, I’m going to get him.”
“I’ll come with you,” Cal said.
“Me too,” Paul added.
The kitchen door squeaked open again, spitting out Denise MacIsaac. “Hi, boys.”
Austin tilted his head back to smile at her, exposing the long length of his tanned neck.
Cal swallowed hard.
“Hey, Mom,” Austin said.
She came over in sensible boots with a short heel, looking put together in jeans and a cream sweater. She kissed the tops of their heads, one after the other—Austin, then Paul’s bald head, then Cal—and Cal’s heart clenched at being included as one of her “boys.”
“I’m going out for lunch with Carol, Linda, and Whitney. If you’re hungry, there’s leftover spaghetti and meatballs in the fridge from last night. I’ll see you boys later.” She headed back inside with a wave over her shoulder.
Paul braced one hand on Austin’s shoulder, the other on Cal’s, then levered himself up with a groan.
“You okay, Dad?” Austin asked.
“I’m fine,” Paul said, waving the question away. “Just starting to feel my years. I’ll warm us up some lunch.” He too went inside, leaving Cal outside with Austin in companionable silence. Somewhere, the Stellar’s jay squawked again.
Austin braced his hands behind him and leaned back, stretching out his long legs, and it was all Cal could do not to stare.
“Did you know your dad birdwatches every morning?”
“Yeah.” Austin chuckled. “He’s got an app and everything. Cute, right?”
“It’s very Paul MacIsaac, that’s for sure. Can you imagine doing nothing for three hours except looking for birds? Not sure I could sit still long enough.”
“I think you could,” Austin said lazily, a thick drawl to his voice that made Cal’s dick twitch. “If you had the right partner to do it with.”
His gaze landed on Cal’s, steady and weighty. There was a hidden message behind his words, and behind those aquamarine eyes, that Cal couldn’t decipher.
Was Austin saying that he wanted to be the right partner for Cal?
But that couldn’t be right.
Sitting up straight, Austin scooted closer to Cal, a fire lighting his eyes that Cal had never seen before. “Cal, I?—”
Another squeak as the kitchen door opened yet again. Paul poked his head out. “You boys coming? I’ve got lunch ready. Even found some bread to soak up the sauce.”
“Yeah,” Austin said. He stood, his smile flat and resigned. “We’re coming in.”
“Hey.” Cal stopped him with a hand on his arm. The muscle flexed beneath his palm, and Cal tightened his grip. “What were you going to say?”
For reasons Cal couldn’t name, he needed to know what Austin had been about to say.
But Austin looked from him to the kitchen door and shook his head. “It’ll keep.” He gently slid his arm out of Cal’s grip, and before disappointment could settle in too deeply, Austin slid their palms together and held tight. “Come on. Let’s eat.” And he led the way inside, Cal’s hand in his.