21. Kiera
KIERA
I whipped around to see a head of gray hair camped out behind blurry, white stacks of paper.
“Viv!” I shot up to my feet, trying to regain some semblance of respectability in front of my… Dom’s mom? But the standing only made the dizziness worse.
I stumbled, steadying myself against the fridge as my ears began to ring. “Sorry, I wasn’t, um, expecting to see you up so early? Did I wake you?”
“Not at all, Honey. Are you feeling okay?”
Clearly I was not being as subtle about the near-fainting as I had hoped. “I’m good, just need to grab some cereal.”
But even clinging to the fridge handle, my steps were unsteady.
Viv frowned, “Why don’t you sit down and let me get that for you?”
Before I could try to argue, she was on her feet, pulling out a seat at the table for me.
Face going red, I relented. I quite literally didn’t have a leg to stand on here, but it didn’t make accepting the help any less embarrassing. “I’m sorry, I’m usually fine to do that stuff. That dizzy spell just caught me off guard. They get worse when I don’t sleep, and—”
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Honey. I’ve been through menopause, and if what you’re feeling is anything like the vertigo that shit gave me, I totally get it.”
I nodded, lowering my gaze to my lap as I picked at the hem of my shorts. Sitting down, the outfit was much more revealing than I would have chosen for Viv’s company.
It’s not like I was shy about my clothing usually, but Viv was the closest thing I’d had to a real maternal figure in my whole life. As chill as she was, I couldn’t help but worry about her approval.
And the smattering of bruises painted over my thighs from Dom’s grip weren’t the type of thing I’d flaunt in front of someone’s mother.
I moved to tuck my legs under the table, hoping to obscure the marks in shadow, but as Viv approached the table with my cereal, I could feel her eyes catching on them.
“Lady,” I explained with a hasty chuckle. “Big dog doesn’t know her own strength.”
“Right,” she smirked, setting down the bowl in front of me before returning to the seat beside mine.
Heat flushed the back of my neck. She didn’t seem to buy the excuse, but she also didn’t seem bothered. Which was almost worse than her caring, honestly. If she’d seemed surprised, it would have been easier to convince myself she hadn’t heard anything.
This. Is. Mortifying.
Desperate for something to do with my hands, I reached for the spoon and took a big bite of the Cap’n Crunch she’d set out for me. Lady pouted at my feet, but I did my best to ignore her begging. “God, this stuff is so good. Thank you again.”
“Of course,” she smiled, shuffling her papers into more compact stacks.
“Did you get a grocery delivery?” I tilted my head. “I didn’t know you kept this in the house. I’ve been eating the Raisin Bran for days.”
“That’s because it’s from my hidden stash,” she smirked. “I’ve seen the way those three can clear house. Figured I should save my favorite cereal from the purge.”
“Oh, Viv,” I set down my spoon. “You didn’t need to share it with me if—”
“I know that. But I also remember how much you loved it as a little girl. Do you remember the ‘Cap’n Caper’?”
I furrowed my brow, reaching for something in the depths of my fuzzy memory. “Maybe? It sounds familiar.”
“You were really little. Maybe five or so? One of the summers that you were staying over, you would ask for Cap’n Crunch for every.
Single. Meal. No matter what we tried, we could hardly get a vegetable into you.
You were dedicated to this meal plan. Like, going on hunger strike levels of commitment. ”
I laughed, scooping up a spoonful. “I mean to be fair, it is really good.”
“Don’t I know it. Well anyway, one day, Maura got fed up with the constant begging, and she said she’d throw out the whole box if you asked one more time.
And that was enough to make you real quiet.
The rest of the day, you ate what she put in front of you, staring longingly up at the cereal cabinet like the saddest little thing.
“I was honestly shocked that the threat had worked. You were the most stubborn little thing, and as much as I knew you needed real food, it was so sad to see your little fire dampened like that. I figured after proving her point though that Maura would let you have the cereal back.
“But the next morning, she was still on it. It must have touched a nerve for her, because she just kept on about how much better you looked after a day of healthy eating and how we should never have that ‘junk’ again. Like a five-year-old needed to be worried about her looks.
“And Brennan wasn’t having that. He went to grab the cereal, lecturing about moderation and insisting you could have some as a reward. But when he opened the cabinet, the box was gone. He figured Maura had already thrown it out, but she swore she hadn’t.”
“Did she?” I frowned. “Throw it out?”
“None of us knew. The box wasn’t in the trash, but the garbage collection had already come, so it was possible that she’d done it while the rest of us were sleeping. They both bickered about it for the rest of the day, and Brennan was threatening to put in a grocery delivery for twenty boxes.”
“Jesus, twenty?” I laughed.
“He could be a bit over the top,” Viv smiled, “But there was no doubt that that man loved you. You were his sun and stars, and he was fiercely protective.”
My chest tightened at that. Of course I knew that he loved me, but those memories could feel so distant at times.
And everything I’d learned about his death in the last week or so had rattled so much of what I understood about my father.
It was nice to know that someone else remembered him that way too.
“Anyway,” Viv shook her head. “By the time night rolled around, no resolution had been reached. Maura wouldn’t cop to it, and Brennan wouldn’t drop it.
Everyone went to bed unclear on what had happened.
Everyone except for me — I was up late in the living room, looking over some forms for a client, when I heard a rustling from the kitchen.
“I set down my paperwork and crept over to the kitchen, convinced a mouse had gotten in. But when I turned on the kitchen lights, I saw you in your big pajama shirt and your tangled red mane climbing up on the counter to grab a cereal bowl. You had stashed the box under the sink, and you were sneaking in for a late night snack.”
“You’re kidding.” My jaw dropped, but Viv just shook her head.
“I knew you were going to get what you wanted one way or another. So we cut a deal: I wouldn’t snitch on your little operation, but you were going to eat all of your fruits and vegetables during the day. And if you were good, I would share a little late night snack of Cap’n Crunch with you.”
“Oh my god,” I blushed. “I was a little terror!”
“No, no, you were a sweet kid,” Viv smiled. “You were just stubborn.”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe my parents didn’t find out.”
“Oh no, they knew.” Viv corrected. “I told them first thing the next morning.”
“But you said—”
“I said what I had to say to get a five year old eating her vegetables. Brennan thought it was hilarious. Maura, not so much. But she didn’t care enough to put up a stink about it. Made her job a lot easier if you stopped fighting with her.”
“Wow,” I murmured. “That’s crazy. I can’t believe I don’t remember it. But I guess that explains why I love this stuff so much.”
“Those late nights were when I started loving it too.” Her smile was warm, and her crystal blue eyes were full of affection. She was like a mirror image of Dom: all of the same parts, just rearranged slightly.
Dom’s ‘sunshiney’ demeanor definitely comes from Isaac’s side, though. But maybe that’s more nurture than nature…
Unsure what to do with the tender moment, I shook my head. “Thank you for the story. And sorry for interrupting. I should let you get back to work.”
“Oh, would you stop apologizing?” She rolled her eyes, “I knew it was only a matter of time before one of you was up. I’ve had plenty of early mornings to myself to look over everything, and I’m happy to give up this one for the company.
“It gets boring out here on my own, but since you all arrived, the house has never felt so alive. It’s been nice to see Dom again. Even if she doesn’t seem quite as excited to see me.”
Her eyes glimmered slightly as the words escaped her lips.
We both knew that our time in Washington was limited, and there was no way of knowing when we might see Viv again.
Until we’d completed our mission, nothing else mattered.
And I was sure that pill was made harder to swallow by how standoffish and guarded Dom had been since our arrival.
“I know it might not have been the reunion you hoped for… but I promise Dom is happy to see you. I think she’s just overwhelmed. She’s been through some shit the past few years, and it can take her a while to warm up.”
I still wondered when Dom would finally warm up to me, but even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew she had. Not always as plainly or as much as I might have hoped, but she certainly trusted me more now than the day I’d shown up on her doorstep.
That counts for something, right?
Viv offered me another smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes this time. “I can’t help but think I’m to blame for some of the pain she’s gone through. It’s not fair for her to have shouldered so much.”
“It’s not,” I admitted, “But saying you’re to blame simplifies things too much.
She was always going to get hurt with Isaac in the picture.
You made the best choices you could to protect her, though.
You couldn’t save her from everything, but she didn’t need you to.
She’s strong, and you did your best. You’re here now. I think that’s enough for her.”
The advice felt faltering as it left my lips — who was I to give Vivienne parenting advice, especially when it came to Dom? That angry fuck could hardly look at me, let alone talk to me about her feelings.