49. Spencer
SPENCER
The nice thing about driving a bike was that there was always a parking spot right out front.
Under the bright fluorescent streetlight, I watched the entrance of the parking lot. I leaned on my Suzuki, rapping my fingers against the polycarbonate of my helmet.
This is going to suck.
It wasn’t until Caleb’s car pulled up, a beat up sedan I’d hooked him up with when he got a job at 16, that I got out of my head. The thing was in the shop every other month at this rate, but it got him around. I’d set one rule: he had to take his sister to her after school activities.
A pit formed in my stomach as Caleb hopped out of his car and walked toward me.
There was no going back now. I tried to remind myself of every point Kiera had made.
He’s my nephew. He adores me. I adore him.
“Hey.” I gave the kid a soft smile and wrapped him into a big hug. He was just about my height now, almost passing me.
But I still put my arm around his shoulder and guided us into the frozen yogurt shop.
Inside, the lights were bright. It felt like the middle of the day there, not anywhere near closing time. Under the illuminating bulbs, Caleb looked exhausted, like all of this had been weighing on him.
“Get whatever you want, on me.” I winked, grabbing the largest cup the place had.
Following suit, Caleb stuck his under the metal spout for the cookie dough flavor. We went down the line, making absolute monstrosities in our 16 oz cups and catching up on Caleb’s life.
He’d met a girl he really liked but wasn’t sure how to talk to her. And his English teacher was worried about his latest test scores.
As we approached the register, our froyo topped with various fruit and candy, I eyed him. “Are you actually reading the books though?”
“Well…” Caleb shrugged, a cheeky grin at the corners of his lips.
Shoving my shoulder into his, I paid for our food. “You know, girls think reading is hot. So maybe if you start nailing the critical analysis, she’ll start being interested in you.”
As we settled into a table, Caleb rolled his eyes. “Is that how you managed to snag Kiera?”
“Maybe, and my charming good looks.” I slid into a chair that faced the front door, keeping an eye on the parking lot and my bike.
Valemont used to be safe. Safer than this at least. But now it was becoming a cesspool for evil men. And as I looked at my nephew across the table, I worried about him being stuck here — worried about what this place would become if we couldn’t take Zeus down.
Looking into my nephew’s eyes, I felt the weight of what we were really doing here. There was a reason Abi wasn’t with us.
I was used to doing hard shit, but this felt different — more daunting.
Clearing my throat, I started us off. “I know you’ve probably had questions for years. And I feel like I should have given you more answers sooner.”
Caleb shrugged. “Hindsight or whatever. Besides, you’re not like decades older than me.” Before I could address it, Caleb nodded. “My memory is just really spotty. I don’t remember much.”
“You were, what, twelve when it happened, when she died?” I scrubbed my mind for the details, my own recollection fuzzy.
As soon as Jess passed, I made a point to write down everything I remembered in a journal.
But it was like my mind had funneled all the trauma onto those pages and cleared my mind of it.
Before coming tonight, I’d made a point to read some of those entries. I knew that Caleb’s brain would have blocked out most of it, trying to protect him from the truth.
“Probably doesn’t help that we were all very vague with you kids. No one knew how to tell you the truth.” I added.
Caleb took a bit of his frozen yogurt and then looked up at the ceiling like he was trying to remember something.
“I know she was sick a lot and that they fought all the time.” His brow furrowed as a memory came to the front of his mind.
“I remember one night, I listened to them fighting. Dad said something about how she wasn’t fit to watch us anymore and that he was stuck doing it. ”
My chest tightened. “You never should have heard him say something like that.” When I closed my eyes, I could see my sister’s face.
Her gentle smile and her big laugh. Opening them, I saw her again in Caleb’s face.
The way his big, doe eyes stared back at me.
“Your mom was the coolest person I’d ever met.
She knew how to make anyone laugh, even in a really dark moment.
And she was kind. All she wanted to do was make everyone okay. But she was also really complicated.”
“When did she get sick?” Caleb asked.
“She was never sick.” I shook my head, trying to reckon the lie with the truth. “Not in a traditional way. Caleb, she overdosed.”
“What?”
“I know, I’m sorry. It’s a lot to take in.
” Biting my lip, I leaned across the table toward him.
“Jess and I, we didn’t grow up like most people.
Our mom was… mistreated by men. She was tortured by the memories of it and did anything she could to hide from the darkness in her mind.
Sometimes she coped with sex, sometimes alcohol, sometimes gambling, and almost always with drugs. ”
Caleb crossed his arms as I went on. “It was all Jess and I saw. Something hard happens, and you use to make it go away. She couldn’t kick that, especially as she got older.
When she started to realize what had happened to our mom and how men would treat her too.
She turned to the same cure our mom did. ”
“Why didn’t anyone help her?” Caleb’s words bit back, anger rushing through him.
“We tried. I tried. My mom was already dead, I was alone.”
“What about my dad?” His jaw was clenched tight, knowing the answer before I gave it.
This was the part I dreaded the most. It was going to break Caleb’s heart, even if he already suspected his father’s responsibility.
Sighing, I tried to stay level. “He wasn’t interested in helping her. When she was in a bad place, we would just rag on her. Call her a druggie and a terrible mother. He wouldn’t let me take her away.”
“Why would he do that?” Caleb’s breathing was fast, like he was running a marathon.
“Honestly, I think he liked the control. When she was spiraling like that, he could make her reliant on him. Make you two rely on him.”
Shaking his head, Caleb grumbled. “Like he does now.”
He was piercing it all together, realizing the way his father was stopping him and his sister from growing. But there was reckoning to happen too: to realize that Jess was both responsible for her own actions and that the man who claimed to protect her was damning her to her own death.
“Did the people that hurt grandma have something to do with my mom?” Caleb asked.
It was natural to look for someone to blame. I’d done it too, I was happy to have the excuse to put it all on Dom. But it didn’t stop the truth.
Isaac and Zeus had exploited my mom, they’d sent her into a downward spiral and refused to be accountable for their role in ruining her life. And she couldn’t fight those demons back enough to be the mother Jess and I needed.
But Jess, she was just haunted by the ghost of our mom’s tormentors.
I may have been angry with Dom, horrified by her lie, but it didn’t change the truth: Dom shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of her father. And more than anything, I knew Caleb and Abi would need Aunt Dom as they moved into a new phase of their lives.
They deserved to be free of all of this.
I’d break the tie to Zeus. I would free my niece and nephew from Isaac’s shadow.
Shaking my head, I grabbed Caleb’s arm. “No, bud. Your mom just couldn’t win that fight with her own demons. The more your dad harped on her, the more she believed that she really wasn’t fit to be your mom. She let the voice in her head win. And I wish she hadn’t.”
“Me too.” Caleb’s face was scrunched up tight, deciding between crying or raging.
I squeezed him, trying to bring him out of that anger. “I need you to promise me something, Caleb.
“What?”
“I told you all of this because I trust you to stay calm.”
“How am I supposed to do that? To be in the same house as him?”
I knew how he felt, I felt it every time I saw Bill’s face. “Because your sister still lives in that house. You could walk out today and she would be left with him alone. Blowing all of this up will only make a bigger mess for all of us.
“When the time comes, we’ll tell Abi the truth too and we’ll get her out.” The weight on my chest grew heavier as I thought about my little niece in danger. “Until then, you have to be the adult and hold your shit together. It’s not fair to ask of you, I know. But it’s what I need you to do.”
Looking at the bottom of his frozen yogurt cup, Caleb considered what I was asking of him. Eventually, he met my eyes and nodded. “Okay. Fine.”
“Good boy.” I looked up at the clock on the wall. “Think you can manage to go home tonight? You’ve got school in the morning.”
Caleb wanted to say no. But he took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’ll get my shit together.”
We stood up from the table, chucking our cups into the garbage and thanking the staff before walking back outside.
Pulling Caleb into a big hug, I told him I loved him.
“I love you too.” He nodded, without breaking the embrace. “Thank you. Not just for telling me all of this. But for taking care of Abi and me. I don’t think I realized how badly I needed a steady adult around.
Releasing him, I made sure to look in his eyes. “I’m here, always. Day and night. If you’re struggling to keep it in, just call and we’ll work it out. Okay?”
“Yeah, you got it.” Caleb rubbed the back of his head as he turned to go back to his sedan. “Love you, Spence.”
“Love you too.” I called after him as he climbed inside the car and drove off into the night and back to that house.
Looking up at the dark sky, I swallowed back tears as I muttered words up to my big sister. “I hope I did okay.”
It was out of my hands now, I’d have to trust this young boy to do the right thing. And I needed to prepare in case he couldn’t.