14. Hell has Risen
Hell has Risen
Moni
It doesn’t take a color chart to know I’m cycling through dark gray and neon green for the whole world to see my nerves and excitement. Leaning over Chester, I tap Knox on the knee to grab his attention.
“Your father is a DICK!” I tell him with a strict nod.
He looks at me with a straight face for a moment and gives me a toothy grin. “Damn straight, Sis,” he says, holding up his fist for a bump.
Have I told you how much I love my big bro? Well, my step/half/adopted bro? What is he, since JP really is my brother?
Speaking of family, Delvin walks up to address the assembly, and murmurs ripple through the crowd.
“Is that the famous Delvin?”
“I saw him once before in our town when I was five.”
“He’s so dreamy.”
I thought I had daddy issues, but after hearing the last of Delvin’s tale this morning, Rez definitely has me beat.
I didn’t have any dads at first, then Matthew took me in, and now I have my bio dad.
But woozers, she has two liquid daddies!
And to top it off, one of them is wanted by the Queen of the Damned and Certified Nut Job of Hell.
I wonder if she’s sane enough to actually come back to Purgatory.
Delvin slightly raises his hand, and everyone quiets.
“I’m Delvin, and I’m here to talk about the schematics of traveling during the Gauntlet,” he starts.
Wouldn’t we just walk, or in my case, fly?
“You will start in the Ever Woods and travel through portals throughout the course and end up back here between the Sanctuary and Gym.”
Well, great, I hope I don’t get to see my cousins this time, but what the hell does he mean by ‘the course’?
Like an obstacle course? Like a maze? This is getting heavy.
I need something to calm my nerves. I pull out my coffee and take a deep inhale before I take a sip of the best thing ever. Better than sex even.
“Some of you might be able to pass through faster than others, and some might need the whole week to make it back here to complete the Gauntlet and earn the right to get your blessing. That is, if you come back at all.”
Yeesh, Delvin is dark and boring. Is that the right word?
“To find the portals, you must rely on your knowledge of Ley lines and the magic you have gained during your time in school. The portals might not be the same for everyone, so please keep that in mind as you traverse through. You may travel in pairs or groups, but the portals might split you up if need be.”
Students shout in outrage, and Delvin raises his hand to hush the crowd.
“If that happens, that is the will of the Fates,” he says matter-of-factly. “May the Fates be in your favor because there is nothing else you can bring with you to help you on this journey.”
And with that, he turns and walks back to his seat. I turn to a wide-eyed Rez and give her a thumbs down and stick out my tongue. She smiles and rolls her eyes, mimicking my thumbs down before shaking her head and looking back at the stage.
I swear, I love that lady to death. I am so lucky to have her as my bestie.
Mayor Abernathy comes up next and explains the points system, which includes our grades, how fast we excelled through school, our power levels, and more things that go over my head.
“Do you think he will take in our family lineage?” I whisper, leaning into Chester.
“I doubt it. If that were the case, only like a handful of supes would go to Earth,” he grumbles.
“Do you want to go to Earth?” I ask, grabbing my tail and holding it tight.
I don’t want to be the reason Chestie can’t go to Earth.
Even if Lucifer is my father, I alone don’t have the qualifications to go to Earth, let alone to stay there for more than a few hours with a potion to hide my nature.
Hell, I don’t even think I could afford the damn potions.
“It would be nice to visit, but it’s not high on my bucket list, Moni. I would much rather stay with you, no matter where that is, as long as I get to hold you.” He gives me a forehead kiss, and I melt against him. I really am the luckiest PIMP in all of Purgatory.
As Daniel finally moves back to his chair, the room seems to pressurize, and my ears pop as white smoke billows from the stage before us.
“What’s going on?” someone yells.
Uneasiness washes over the room as de vag jew hits most of us. What if this is another attack?
Supes jump to their feet, but that’s as far as they get before they find themselves frozen in place.
“Help! I’m stuck.”
“Please calm down,” Dean Caldron insists to the crowd.
Hardly anyone is listening as the lights flicker and a tinkle of laughter can be heard traveling within the fog as it trails over the edge of the stage.
If my limbs were long enough to touch the floor, this is where I would pull them up so they wouldn’t touch the ground.
I don’t know what’s in that fog, but I’m terrified of it.
The light tinkle of laughter grows louder and almost sounds familiar as the fog thickens, and, on stage, it turns a darker color. No longer is it white but a thick, darker gray, almost black in color.
“No need to panic,” the feminine voice comes from the fog. “I just love an entrance, don’t you?”
The figure in the fog steps out, heels clicking on the platform, and my jaw drops.
“Holy Lily crackle menses dicks.”
“Did you just say dicks?” Lynx snaps as he wrestles with Reaper, who’s trying to jump off of him and run to the stage.
I can assume he wants what’s now visible in the fog and held high in the hands covered in dark red blood.
Chunks of meat, tendon, and who knows what else fall onto the platform, but all I’m imagining is the flashback of the fluid that flew out of one of those monstrous things when L.A.M.B.
‘cleaned’ house, and how Reaper ended up finding one particular piece of one Art Demon’s tallywhacker and didn’t want to let go.
‘It’s in my hair, it’s in my hair.’
If it wasn’t for my Chestie saving me, I don’t know what I would have done.
“Yep, not just dicks, but menses dicks,” JP confirms.
“I think we have bigger problems than menses dicks,” Ryker points out as the rest of the figure is revealed from the fog, holding the bloody dicks.
“Your mother has officially lost her fucking mind, and apparently L.A.M.B. has lost control, that is, if they even had control in the first place,” Rez spells out the obvious.
I can’t tell if Lilith is wearing an all-red jumpsuit or if she’s just covered in blood, but if I had to guess, I would say the latter just by the smell.
“Holy shit, is that our teacher, Lilith?”
“W-what happened to her?”
“Well, at least your mom has done her hair for the occasion,” I point out. I do have to agree with everyone else; she does look unhinged, but not one strand of hair is out of place—though that could be from the blood that’s slicked it back from her face.
She walks to the edge and bends down slightly.
“Here you go, Reaper.” She smiles as she drops the menses dicks and looks at Levi. “Could I get the Fall season, line four?”
Within seconds, the red that’s covering her is gone, and in its place are bark-colored pants that are as wide as Chester and me combined. Her cream top is sleeveless, yet a dark blue sweater lies over her shoulder, her long, wavy hair flowing across it, and her dark brown heels are spotless.
“Thank you, Leviathan.” She blows a kiss to Levi before looking up at everyone as if she’s just now noticed us.
“Ah, well, hello. I’m Lilith, and I get the pleasure of telling you about our meet-and-greet that will take place shortly after I’m done speaking.
This year will be a little different since we have such a variety of obstacles that you will be facing; you have the opportunity to seek outside help.
” Outside help? Oh! Now that’s pretty cool.
I’m gonna ask Matthew what all we’re going to be up against. He’ll tell me everything.
“Granted, there are some of us that are forbidden to do so, for example, those of us that created this year’s Gauntlet,” Lilith says, looking directly at us.
Fudge Brass Knuckles. This isn’t fair!!
“During the meet-and-greet, you will see and meet influential beings who can gift you items that could help you throughout your journey. Keep in mind, if you disappoint them, they could also gift your enemy or do worse. So, make sure you mingle, talk to other students, make alliances, find out who you can trust, and who you should watch out for, because tomorrow will be the only day you can prepare. You have an hour to dress to impress; see you all at the ballroom!” Lilith gives a savage smile before turning and walking off the platform, and Delvin and the rest of the Leaders follow her.
“You okay, Moni?” Knox asks, leaning over Chester. His wide eyes look ridiculous right now.
“Yeah… why do you ask?” I say in a daze.
“Because you look like a disco ball,” he tells me.
“Why does a ball have a bunch of discs? That makes no sense,” Knots asks, standing up and aiming for Reaper.
“You look like a prune all scrunched up like that,” I chuckle at Knots, and he frowns.
“I’m done. Chester, she’s yours. I’m unadopting her as a sister,” Knox growls, but gives me a wink to lessen the blow.
Knots grabs Reaper off the floor and rips one of the dicks from him, throwing it down behind him.
“Did he just touch a dick?” Lynx asks.
“Shut up, furball,” Knots growls. “Else, my next task is making boots for this meet-and-greet.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” I say, turning to Rez and grabbing her arm. “What are you going to wear? Something long and elegant? Short and scandalous? Pink and poufy?” I ask giddily.
I can wear anything I want, the sky, and even beyond that is limitless. I need to make a good impression on all the bigwigs that will be at this thing. I don’t know who will be there, but at least I want the chance to wear a gown and impress people.
“I don’t know about you, Moni, but I’m wearing something I can weaponize,” Rez answers, causing me to pout.
“Well, that doesn’t sound like fun,” I pout.