17. Juniper
17
JUNIPER
I t was so cold outside that my nostrils froze, which meant crying would be a terrible idea. If water ran down my cheeks, it would probably freeze there, and I’d end up with frostbite.
Before I put on the helmet Beau had handed me, he also gave me a face mask. “Sorry, should’ve brought this inside. Snowstorms are somewhat new to me.”
“Somewhat?”
“Yes, Miss Chance, this is my first. It’s Sam’s as well, so be sure to tease her about it equally.”
I’d smile if I didn’t feel so sad. Why did I have to meet someone like Cord, who I’d be willing to stay snowed in with for the rest of winter, only to know that, a year from now, he’d be halfway across the country with no plans to return to the East Coast?
Life wasn’t fair. Actually, as far as I was concerned, right now, it sucked. No one I’d ever dated did it for me the way Cord did. I enjoyed his company and our conversations. Then there was the heat factor, which was off the fucking charts.
When he said I had a full life here, I wanted to tell him I didn’t. In fact, outside of my parents and the restaurant, I didn’t feel like I had much of a life at all. Except maybe the reason he’d said that was because he was trying to tell me that, even if we spent “every minute of the next few months” together, it didn’t mean he’d ask me to go to Colorado with him. To even be thinking about it was ridiculous.
By the time we reached the main house, which only took a few minutes, I’d talked myself out of worrying about Cord. I could stay here, with Sam and Beau, until the roads were clear, then Gray or my dad could come get me. I had no reason to return to the cottage since I hadn’t brought anything with me other than my purse and the clothes I was wearing. Thankfully, I hadn’t put them in the washer yet.
“Hi,” said Sam, walking over when I came inside after shedding my snow clothes in the mudroom—which Beau referred to as the place where dirty winery clothes would go .
“Hey. Crazy storm, huh?” I said.
She smiled. “My first blizzard. Beau’s too.”
“He mentioned that. I lost count a long time ago,” I joked.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“Starving, actually, and I’d literally get down on my knees and beg for a cup of coffee.”
“I’ve got a fresh pot that’s almost finished brewing.” Sam pointed to the coffeemaker. “Miss Cena must’ve loved the stuff. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that fancy. Maybe Beau has.” She looked around the room. “Wherever he ran off to.”
“I think he was heading back to the cottage to, uh, help Cord with something.” Just saying his name brought the hurt I’d tamped down back to the surface.
“Am I out of line if I ask what’s happening between the two of you?”
“Not at all because it’s nothing at all.”
She raised a brow.
“As I said to my mom, his time here is finite. He’s a nice guy and certainly fun to flirt with, but that’s the extent of it.”
She nodded, then held up a cup. “How do you take it?”
“A little cream if you have it. No sugar.”
“Same as Cord,” she said under her breath.
I thought back to the day we’d met at Charlie’s Diner for breakfast, and I’d noticed the same thing. It seemed so long ago.
She handed me the cup and motioned to the dining room table, where there was a platter of fruit and slices of coffee cake.
“I can make something more substantial if you’d like,” she offered.
“This is perfect.” I’d already popped a grape in my mouth and was reaching for a strawberry.
The kitchen didn’t look much different than it had when I was here over a year ago, but it felt like it was. Miss Cena’s energy had been replaced by Sam’s and Beau’s. I hadn’t realized the depth of her sadness until I contrasted it with their happiness.
“Have you been reading the journals?” I asked.
Her eyes lit up. “I have. I started with the oldest I could find. The first entries are before Cena and Manley married. ”
“You’re kidding! That’s fantastic.”
“I know. She was so happy. The way she writes about him reminds me of how I feel about Beau.”
It was horrible of me to think, let alone say, but I didn’t want to read it. Not now, anyway. It would only make me long for the type of relationship I’d probably never have. I turned my head when my eyes filled with tears.
“Juni? What’s wrong?” She put her hand on mine.
I could tell her I was emotional over Miss Cena, but I didn’t want to lie to Sam. “You know.” My voice cracked.
“Cord?”
I nodded. “It’s silly, right?”
She shook her head. “Not even a little. He seems like a really good guy. And, actually, Decker Ashford confirmed he was. Plus, he’s my cousin.” She beamed more than smiled, and it was infectious.
“It’s sad that you didn’t get to meet Miss Cena, but she’d be so happy you’re here and that you and Beau plan to stay. I mean, you do plan to stay, right?”
“I think we fell in love with this place at the same time we fell in love with each other.”
I put my hand on my heart. “That’s like a greeting card line.”
She laughed. “I know. I’m sappy now, I guess.”
Her cat, Wanda, jumped up on her lap. “The only downside is that, now, she likes Beau more than me.”
“Not true,” he said, walking into the kitchen. I was stunned to see Cord right behind him. “She doesn’t like me more; I’m just easier to talk into cat treats.” He came over, kissed Sam, and scratched the cat’s ears.
“Hi, Cord,” said Sam.
“Hey, uh, mind if I talk to Juni for a minute?”
Sam winked. “You’ll have to ask her.”
I’d already pushed my chair back and stood.
He motioned with his head for me to follow him. “Is there somewhere more private we can talk?” he asked once we reached the living room.
“There’s a library down the hall.” I led him there and closed the door behind us. “What’s up?” I asked, switching on the lights. When I turned to face him, he was right behind me.
“I don’t want to talk. At least not yet,” he said, reaching over to flip the door’s lock .
“But—”
Cord stopped my words with his demanding mouth, pressing his tongue against my lips until I opened to him. He angled his head and deepened the kiss at the same time he put one hand on my bottom, holding me still as he rested against me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and added to the intensity of the kiss until I was dizzy with desire.
When he pushed me up against the wall and lifted me until my legs had nowhere to go but around his waist, his hardness pressed against the ache between my legs. I arched but couldn’t get close enough to him. Nothing would satisfy me short of Cord being deep inside me.
The clothes that separated our bodies felt paper thin when he thrust against me. I whimpered and tightened my arms, holding him as close to me as I could.
He released my mouth but kissed along my jaw and down my neck.
“Cord.”
“Tell me what you want, Juniper.”
“Don’t stop.”
His mouth crushed against mine, his tongue tasting, exploring, invading. He cupped between my legs, then unfastened my jeans and slid his hand inside my panties.
“God, I can feel how much you want me. You’re so wet.”
I whimpered again rather than speak when I felt his finger thrust into me and the pad of his thumb press hard against my clit.
“I don’t want to spend the night here, Juniper. I want to be alone with you, both of us spread out on a blanket in front of a roaring fire, naked, and doing nothing other than learning the feel of each other’s bodies.” He added a second finger and pressed harder with his thumb.
A simple okay was as much as my brain could muster.
“I want to know how it feels when my cock is buried deep inside you. To have your heat clench me and, most of all, to experience what it’s like when I drive you mad enough with pleasure that you beg me to let you come.”
His explicit words drove my passion even higher. “I want that too,” I said into his neck, where I’d buried my face .
He curled his fingers, then leaned down and nipped the flesh of my neck. “Beg me, Juni.”
“Please, Cord,” I cried as my body convulsed in pleasure like none I’d ever known.
He held me close to him, murmuring words I couldn’t comprehend until I finally caught my breath. Only then did he lower my legs to the floor, remove his hand from my pants, and refasten my jeans.
“Listen to me, Juniper.”
I looked into his eyes.
“I don’t want to spend all of our time worrying about what’s going to happen months from now. I want us to get to know each other and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. For now, I can’t stand the idea of not being with you. You know?”
I nodded.
“Can we do that? Just be together now and let the future figure itself out?” His eyes blazed as he waited for my answer.
“Don’t you dare break my heart, Cord Wheaton.”
“I won’t as long as you promise not to break mine.” He kissed me again, then rested his forehead against mine and smiled. “Do you know how much I want to fuck you right now?”
I shuddered and squeezed my legs together, knowing that if he kissed or touched me, I’d be right back on the brink of another orgasm.
“So, um, we kind of just disappeared.”
He kissed me once more, then took a step back. “I’m headed out to look for any cattle we missed last night, but I couldn’t leave until we talked.”
I smiled up at him. “We did a little more than talk.”
“You’re right. However, it’s nowhere near as much as we’re gonna do.”
“When will you be back?” I asked.
“As soon as I can be.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
He pressed my lips with his one more time before opening the library door and motioning for me to go ahead of him.
After Cord left, I returned to the table where Sam sat reading Miss Cena’s journals.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Better. ”
She sighed. “I’m so glad. Listen, I was thinking you might want to start with those.” She pointed to a stack that she’d set aside. “Of course, you’re welcome to read in whatever order you want to, but since those are dated later, I thought maybe there’d be something in there about Cord’s mother leaving the Lilacs.”
“Good thinking. I can circle back to the older ones after you’re finished.”
Periodically, one or both of us would point out a particular passage and mark it with the flags Sam had sitting on the table. Sadly, I’d read through a few of the journals, but hadn’t found any mention of Patricia.
“Did everyone call Jimmy and Johnny’s father JD?” she asked.
“I never heard him called anything else. Why?”
“Cena talks about Jim. Since her brother was James D. Rooker, his son was a junior, and his grandson was the third, I sometimes have to stop to try to figure out which one she’s talking about.”
“What does she say about him?”
“That’s what’s confusing me. It was her brother who was driving the car when he and Manley were killed, right? ”
“Yes.”
“She clearly didn’t care for him, and I suppose, rightly so. But, earlier, when I glanced at the ones you’re reading, it sounded more like she was talking about JD. She would’ve had to have been since those are dated after her brother and Manley died. Anyway, sorry for the interruption. I’m sure you’ll see what I mean when you get to those entries.”
“I’ll keep an eye out.”
I’d been so engrossed in reading Miss Cena’s words that I lost track of time. Two hours later, I checked my phone but didn’t see a message from Cord.
“Does it seem like he’s been gone a long time?” I asked Sam.
“Cord? Um, I have no idea how long it takes to look for cattle.”
“Me either.” I tried to call him, but it went straight to voicemail. I continued calling once every fifteen minutes, but got the same result. When another hour had passed without being able to reach him, I asked Sam if she knew where Beau was .
“Up here,” he called out from the second level. “Do you need something?”
“Can you come in here for a minute?” she responded.
“What’s up?” he asked, coming to stand behind Sam and rubbing her shoulders.
“We’re worried about Cord. He’s been gone a long time. Didn’t Decker say something about being able to track people within the security system’s app? Kind of like a location finder.”
“That’s correct.” Beau was already looking at his phone, presumably at the app Sam had mentioned.
“This is odd. His last location update was thirty minutes ago. I’ll see if I can reach him.” After a few seconds, he lowered his phone. “No answer.”
Pin-and-needle prickles spread throughout my body. “It’ll be dark soon.”
Beau’s eyes met mine. “Understood. I’ll round up some of the guys, and we’ll go look for him.”
When he walked into the other room, I called my mom since my father didn’t always answer his phone.
“Hey, sweetheart. How?—”
“Is Dad there?”
“Yes, do you want to talk to him?”
“Please.”
“Juni? What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Cord’s been gone over two hours.”
“What do you mean gone?”
“He went to see if he could find stray cattle, but he hasn’t returned yet.”
“Wind is picking up, and we’re supposed to get dumped with another round of snow,” said my dad.
“Beau is gathering some of the guys who work on the estate to go look for him.”
“I’ll call Pete. He, Grayson, and I will be there as soon as we can.”
I thanked him, ended the call, and looked up at Sam. We reached for each other’s hands and held tight.