24. Cord
24
CORD
“ W here’s Juni?” Pete asked when I opened the door and invited him inside.
“She went up to the house for something.”
His eyes scrunched, and he shook his head. “She knew I was on my way.”
“She mentioned you wanted to be the one to tell me something, but she didn’t say what.”
“Yeah, okay. I guess?—”
The door flew open, and Grayson came in, slamming it behind him and stalking in my direction.
“What the fuck?” I muttered when he got close enough to jam his index finger into my chest.
“My sister won’t say it, so I will. Do you even realize that, if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be alive, asshole?”
Pete stepped forward. “Gray, that’s enough.”
He shoved his uncle away. “No. I came here with things to say, and I’m not leaving until I do.” He took a deep breath. “My sister sat by your fucking bedside for over a month. A month! She doesn’t even know you, but she did it because if she wasn’t there, you got agitated .”
There wasn’t a single thing he’d said that I could dispute.
“Do you have any idea how hard it was for her to be back in that hospital? Back on that floor? But she did it. I’m sure it got easier as time went on, but I can guarantee you two things. One, she had a panic attack when she walked in for the first time. Two, she’d never admit it to anyone.”
“Grayson,” Pete warned again.
He spun around. “Do you think she’d tell him? Of course not.” He looked back at me. “But then, I’m sure you haven’t asked a single question about Juni or how she was doing. All you cared about was that she was there for you.”
I raised both hands. “I understand why you’re angry?—”
“You’re a?—”
“Hang on, and let me finish. I get it, okay, and I agree with you. I’m an asshole. But, Gray, the things you’re saying make no sense to me. I have no idea what you’re talking about, and you’re right; I haven’t asked. ”
Pete put his hand on Grayson’s shoulder. “Have a seat, son. You’ve gotten this far. You might as well finish it.”
He put his head in his hands. “She’s gonna be so mad at me.”
Pete ushered him to the sofa. At the same time, Buck came out of the kitchen, carrying a six-pack of beer. I reached for one, cracked it open, and handed it to Juni’s brother before taking another for myself.
I sat in the chair facing him. “I’m not going to force you to tell me anything if you’re betraying Juni’s confidence.”
He shook his head. “You need to know. You aren’t the only one who almost died on this property.”
I leaned forward. “What happened?”
Gray’s eyes filled with tears.
“Juniper boarded her horse here, in Miss Cena’s stables. She still does, in fact,” said Pete when Gray was too emotional to speak.
I looked between both men, waiting for one of them to continue. When Gray didn’t, his uncle did. “It happened the summer between her junior and senior year of high school. At the time, she was a contender for a spot on the Olympic equestrian team. ”
“Her horse got spooked on the approach to a jump and threw her. It isn’t uncommon, except the way she landed…” Grayson put his head in his hands again, and his uncle squeezed his shoulder.
“It was a freak accident, and it was bad, Cord,” said Pete.
Gray raised his head, and his eyes bored into mine. “She was in the hospital longer than you were.”
I didn’t need to hear more. The picture Grayson and Pete painted was clear enough. When Juni told me she understood what I was going through, I’d shut her down, and she didn’t say another word about it. She came to that hospital every day and spent most nights there, and she never mentioned that she’d once been a patient herself. From the sound of it, she’d been in the ICU, like I was.
I got up and walked toward the door.
“She’s gone,” said Gray before I opened it.
“What do you mean?”
“She wanted me to take her home, but I gave her my key instead.”
“You’ve got a black SUV, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah, but so does Beau.”
“Yours is American. His is German.”
“Yeah. So?”
“She’s still here.” I walked out the door and up to the main house. It took me longer than it should have, which frustrated the fuck out of me, but this was finally about Juni, not me. Before I got to the porch steps, I saw her. She was sitting behind the wheel of Gray’s vehicle, crying.
As I walked closer, she raised her head, and our eyes met. I hated the hurt and pain I saw reflected in them. I’d done that to the one person who let me off the hook for everything. The one person who’d been patient and understanding and had put her own life on hold to sit with me in a place that held such awful memories for her to cause a panic attack.
I approached the passenger side, heard the lock click, then got in. Thankfully, the SUV was running, so she wasn’t sitting out in the freezing cold.
I turned my body to face her, wishing the damned thing had a bench seat rather than buckets, so I could pull her into my arms. Instead, I reached for her hand. She hesitated, then rested it in mine.
“I’m sorry,” I began.
Her gaze remained on mine, but her facial expression didn’t change .
“As I walked from the cottage here, all I could think was that I hurt the person the most who deserved it the least.”
“I’m fine?—”
“Don’t do that. I know . Pete and Grayson told me what happened to you.”
She turned her head and pulled her hand from mine. “They had no right.”
“I agree that it was your story to tell, but, Juni, you didn’t. Why not?”
“It happened a long time ago; it’s no longer relevant.”
“Is that right? So, five years from now, what happened to me won’t be relevant either?” I wished she’d face me again. With every word I said, I felt her pulling farther away.
“What you’ve gone through is?—”
“Not that different from what you did. While I don’t know all the details, your brother did tell me you were in the hospital longer than I was.”
“My accident was my fault, and someone tried to kill you. I’d say there’s a vast difference between the two.”
“Look at me, darlin’.”
She shook her head.
“Please. ”
I waited until she finally did to say more. “There is no excuse for the way I’ve treated you, but I promise that, from this moment on, I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you. Juniper, I…”
I couldn’t get the words out that I desperately wanted to say. Every day she’d sat by my side, I fell more in love with her, but it wouldn’t be fair for me to say it now. First, I had to prove it by my actions. Three words could never make up for the pain I’d caused her.
When I rested my hand on the console between us, she rested her palm on mine.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when Pete told you about the arrest. I wanted to be.”
Her eyes widened when mine did, and I gasped like all the air had left my lungs. “What did you say?”
“Oh my God. He hasn’t told you yet. I’m so sorry.” She tried to move her hand away, but I wouldn’t let her.
“I don’t want to hear it from him. You tell me.”
“They know who tried to kill you, Cord. By now, he should be in custody. That’s what my uncle came here to tell you.”
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know. ”
I nodded once, trying to wrap my head around the news and quell the nausea churning in my stomach. Did I even want to know who the person was who’d left me for dead? I remembered the bone-chilling look of evil in Jimmy Rooker’s eyes when he’d held the gun against Sam. It was something I never wanted to witness again. How could the person who was arrested not have the same vileness inside him?
“Do you want to go back so Pete can tell you the rest?” she asked in a tone barely above a whisper.
“Not yet. First, I need to know if we can still be friends.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Once again, I’d hurt her. “You know, friends plus, uh, more.”
“We can still be friends, Cord.”
I nodded once. “Understood,” I muttered, turning my head to look in the direction of the cottage. I was the one who’d started it. I could hardly fault her for agreeing.
“Pete will probably have to return to the station soon, so if you want to know more about the arrest, you should go talk to him.”
“Will you go with me? ”
She shook her head. “I’m really tired, Cord. I think I’d rather go home and get some rest.”
“Understood,” I repeated. “But, Juni—” I stopped talking when she raised her hand.
“Give me some time, okay?”
“Sure. Of course.” I opened the door. “See you soon?”
While she nodded, I doubted she meant it. It wasn’t any less than I deserved.
“What happened?” Grayson asked, meeting me partway between the SUV and the cottage.
“We talked. I apologized. She’s tired and is going home to rest.”
He nodded, then ran forward to catch Juni before she left. I watched him get in the SUV, likely asking her what happened like he had me.
Her eyes met mine for a second, then she turned her head and reversed the SUV. I wanted to race after her like Grayson had and beg for her forgiveness again. I didn’t, and with every step I took, I regretted not handling things better with her. Why the fuck had I asked her if we could still be friends? I wanted so much more from her.
“You all right?” Buck asked when I came inside.
I shook my head. “I think I’ve lost her.”
He nodded and pulled me into an embrace.
Pete cleared his throat. “Listen, we can do this another time.”
I stepped away from Buck. “Now is good unless you need to leave.”
“I do, but I wanted you to hear it from me. There’s been an arrest, and the case against the suspect is airtight. What doesn’t make any sense is why.”
“Unless it’s Jimmy Rooker, or someone who went after me for shooting him, I’m at a loss too.”
“My thoughts also, but I can assure you James Rooker is locked up tight. Honestly, we can’t find a single person who will even admit to knowing the guy. Either way, I’d like to ask you to come to the station and look through a photo array.”
“Of course. Let’s do it.”
“I’d say it doesn’t have to happen right away, but the sooner you feel up to it, the better.”
“Like I said, let’s do it.”
Pete nodded and motioned for me to go with him. Buck was right behind me .
“If you follow me in your vehicle, you can leave as soon as you’re finished.”
Buck said we would and waited until Pete pulled away to do the same. “What happened with Juni?”
“In a nutshell? I apologized, then asked if she thought we could still be friends.”
His brow furrowed. “And?”
“We weren’t just friends.”
“Ah. I see. So she thought you were stating that’s all you wanted.”
I nodded. “No amount of backpedaling did any good.”
“I guess it wouldn’t, would it?”