Chapter 8
By the time they left the cottage, he knew she was of a different frame of mind. It wasn’t something she said, but rather what she did not. He made love to her for almost the entire night, an edgy kind of restless lovemaking that bordered on desperation. They were going back to the real world, and nothing had been sorted out between them.
Things hovered. He wanted to say the words that were on the tip of his tongue, but it was too soon. And she had made her position clear. She did not want to commit. He had to wait on her, he could not risk having his feelings being exposed. He feared he had already revealed too much already.
He was going to take a step back and pray that she would take the initiative. He was the first man for her and even if she had never been with anyone before, he knew he had brought something out in her.
He had to trust his instinct that she would come around. He could not bear the thought of not being with her, but on the other hand, he would not want to be with her if she was not all in.
He wanted everything.
But even knowing that she was not ready yet, it pained him viciously when she chose to be dropped off at her place, making it clear that he was not invited.
“I am tired and have to get up early in the morning,” she said all of it, without looking at him. He had asked the question if they were staying at her place or his. “And I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do.”
Pride stepped in instantly. He refused to allow her to think he was desperate.
“I do.” Keeping his expression neutral, he opened her door and helped her with her luggage. “I will let you know what my schedule is.”
“Thanks.” She hovered at the doorway as if waiting for him to say something else and when he didn’t, she touched his arm briefly. “Thanks for a wonderful time.”
It took great effort for him not to lash out. She was thanking him as if he was some date that had brought her back home after a night at the movies. They had spent a week of glorious, mind-blowing sex where he could have sworn, they had touched each other’s soul and here she was thanking him. Well, to hell with her!
“See you around then.” With a curt nod, he turned and strode back to his vehicle. She stood there until the taillights had disappeared before walking inside and closing the door behind her. Leaning on the door, she closed her eyes wearily and wondered if she should have asked him to stay.
But the week had been too intense. She had told him the truth. She had not planned on having sex, even though what they had done up to this morning could never be termed in that generic manner.
And that was the problem. She had never expected to feel that way. And she needed time to think. Time away from him to process what was happening. But oh God! She missed him. He had just left, and she want to swallow her misgivings and call him back. He had not kissed her goodbye, but if he had, she would have asked him to stay.
“Oh Lord, girl, you are a mess.” Gathering her composure, she started towards the stairs and stopped. The realization hit her that he had not used anything. Sitting down on the steps, she dropped her case as a new worry set in. All the time they had spent together, she had never once thought about the consequences.
They were not really married, and they had compounded the situation by sleeping with each other. She could not very well blame him, because she was the one who had initiated it.
Robert Faulkner was not some ordinary guy. He was a multi-billionaire she had dared to ask for a favor. She could not bear the idea of thinking she was trapping him with a pregnancy. She didn’t even know if he wanted children in the first place.
And as much as her mother harped on the subject about marriage and children, Sonya had never thought about it – yes, of course one day when the time was right, she wanted a family. But it had to be on her terms. When she was ready to start a family.
She had seen too many children suffer as a result of unplanned pregnancies. She worked with children’s homes as well as group homes and had seen firsthand the tragedy of abandoned children. Not that she would ever abandon her child.
But she had things to do and the last thing she wanted was to be pregnant. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes. If they were going to continue seeing each other, she was going to have to insist on protection.
But right now, she had no idea where they stood. He had left with an indifference that pained her heart. He could have insisted on staying or her going back to his apartment, but he had just turned and left.
She knew he wasn’t seeing anyone, but he could have any woman he wanted. Sadly, her sex was readily available if the man was attractive and wealthy. Robert Faulkner possessed all the right attributes.
But the thought of him being with another woman sent jealousy tumbling through her. After what they shared, she could not bear him sharing it with another woman. It would kill her.
*****
He drove around for half hour, trying to squelch the anger and pain he was feeling. Several times during the drive, he was tempted to go back and demand that she let him in.
But commonsense reared its head, reminding him that they were not really married, and he did not have a right to demand anything from her. She was a free agent and so was he.
He could invite any of the women he had been seeing in the past to come over and they would jump at the chance. But he wanted only one woman. He just wanted her. After the time they had spent at the cottage, that was cemented for him. He could never be with anyone else. He did not have the stomach for it.
Damn her! He thought angrily. Why the hell couldn’t she see that he was vulnerable where she was concerned? How could she not tell that he was into her big time? He had all but spelled it out.
He had just turned off the highway and was heading towards the private road leading to his house when his phone rang. The disappointment on not seeing her name on the dashboard was so profound that for a few seconds, he contemplated not answering. But he had never ignored a call from his sister.
Touching the green icon on the steering wheel, he forced a pleasant tone in his voice.
“Hey.”
“Hey you. Are you back from your honeymoon?”
“Just heading home now.”
“Oh. Is she with you?”
He smiled grimly, realizing that his sister had not yet warmed up to Sonya.
“No. I dropped her off at her place. She had to prepare for some meetings and so do I.”
“You’re not together?”
“No. We are both busy people and that’s the way we want it. We will be splitting time between my place and hers.”
“Whose idea was that?”
Sliding into his parking spot, he killed the engine. “Both of us. It is more convenient this way.”
There was silence for a minute, and he knew she was trying to grapple with that information.
“Are you happy?”
The question threw him and for a second he could not answer. “What kind of question is that?” He asked lightly.
“A logical one. Something is off. Robert, you rushed into marriage with this woman you barely know and now you are telling me that she is at one place and you’re in another. Is that what you want?”
No! He wanted to shout. I want her here with me, but she has chosen to be by herself, and I have no right to tell her otherwise.
Instead, he answered lightly. “It’s the way it must be for now. We are deciding where we want to live. Don’t worry about me. What’s up with you? Still at work?”
“I am on a small break. I am doing a twelve-hour shift today – yay me.” She laughed lightly. “Today was a bit rough. We lost two patients; one was a sixteen-year-old boy with leukemia. It doesn’t get any easier.”
“I would be surprised if it does.” He said gently. “How are you holding up?”
“Me? I am fine. The parents are devastated of course, and the mother keeps falling apart. It was awful to see. I went into the on-call room and shed a few tears myself. Anyway, I just wanted to hear your voice. Will I see you soon?”
“I might be going away for a couple days, but as soon as I am back, then yes.”
“Okay. My break is up, and I need coffee. I love you, Robert.”
“Love you too.” He ended the call and could not help but wish he was hearing it from another woman.
*****
She was tired. Combined with the fact that she had spent a restless night, her mother had insisted on hearing about the honeymoon and promptly issued an invitation to have dinner with her as soon as possible. We have various functions coming up and I would like to show off my new son-in-law.”
Sonya did not bother to remind her that Robert belonged to the same society, and everyone already knew him. She also did not mention the fact that her mother had been against the union in the first place.
She could not blame Robert for being so cynical. People were so fickle, and money could buy all sorts of friendship and loyalty. It made her sad, but who was she to judge, when not too long ago, she had been that person too? She thought wearily.
He had not called. Not last night nor this morning, but it was early time yet. She had decided to make an early day of it because she had some catching up to do. Her offices were in the business district and were a converted warehouse.
She liked the wide-open spaces and large parking lot. Another business occupied the space, an antique store that did very well and was owned and operated by a friend of hers.
She had met Carlette when she was looking around for office space and they had hit it off immediately. The slightly stocky brunette was five years her senior and was not pushy.
She had severed ties with her friends from high school and in college she had kept mostly to herself. Now, she discovered that she did not need anyone to make her feel whole. She was rather enjoying her own company.
If she wanted company, all she had to do was call on Carlette and several others from her circle, which had grown smaller over the years.
“Girl, get in here.”
She smiled as she keyed in her alarm and walked towards the woman framed inside the doorway of her store. She should have expected Carlette to get an early start as well.
“What have I ever done to you for you to treat me so shabby?” She demanded as soon as she gave Sonya a bone breaking hug. “You got married? And I was not invited?”
“Don’t be. It was a small ceremony, and we did not want to make a big deal.” She followed the woman into the shop, resigned to the reality that she was going to have to spend some time filling her in.
She had had the presence of mind to wear the ring, Robert had placed on her finger of course and the diamonds picked up the glint from the early morning sun streaming through the window.
“Grab a chair. I know you are dying to get upstairs to that office of yours, but I have coffee on and some pastries I made over the weekend. That end table you were eyeing came in last week.”
“It did?”
“I will have it wrapped and ready for you when you leave today.” Carlette bustled off to get the coffee and pastry, leaving her to do some browsing. She had bought several pieces already for her apartment but was always looking around for something else. She passed her hand over a folding table with a dull finish and an exquisite design.
“Now, oh, that came in over the weekend and I thought of you. Half off the original price for your wedding gift.”
“Oh, I couldn’t!” She protested, still running a hand over the table.
“You can and will. Sit.”
Carlette poured coffee into two mugs and handed her a plate of sugar cookies. “You could do with some fattening up.” Taking the cup between her palms, she eyed the younger woman. “Robert Faulkner.” She sighed theatrically and patted her chest. “I had no idea you knew him.”
“We went to high school together.”
“I had no idea he went to that fancy high school of yours.”
“He did.”
“I read in a magazine somewhere that he was dirt poor.”
“He was.” She sipped the strong coffee and avoided her friend’s eyes.
“So, he was never in your league.”
She looked up at the woman and felt the shame of that settling inside her chest. What right had her to ask him for a favor. She had not been part of the group that bullied him and made his life a living hell, but she had been with the boy who had led the pack and did nothing.
“No.” She admitted quietly.
“Hmm. I was in high school where I was teased and taunted because of my weight.” She shook her head. “I was fat shamed so many times that I got used to it. I can just imagine what that poor man went through. But he sure showed them by becoming one of the richest men in the world. I bet he could buy and sell all of them now.”
“You’re right.” She was feeling sick inside as she thought about it. How he must have suffered back then. She recalled the conversations they had about his past. It was obvious, he did not want to talk about it, because it was too painful.
“He’s a better man than all of them and fought to achieve a lot.”
“Honey, a hell of a lot. Please make sure I get to meet him. I am an admirer.”
They chatted a few more minutes, before she headed up to her office.
*****
Before she could decide whether to call him or not, he beat her to it. She had been so swamped when she got in that she hadn’t been able to think of nothing else but work. She was about to take a break for lunch when he called.
“Robert! I was about to….”
“I am on my way out of town.” His voice was terse, and he sounded hurried.
“Oh!” Leaning back in the chair, she could not help but wonder at the feeling of disappointment she was experiencing at his announcement. “I see.”
“The company is in the process of acquiring a soybean factory and the negotiations are stalling. I am on my way to Illinois to sort things out.”
“May I ask how long you’ll be gone?”
“About a week, less if I can manage to sort things out quickly. If you need me for anything, just call. See you when I get back.”
That was it. Nothing more but the dial tone in her ear.
But what had she expected? She thought wearily. She had sent him away and he happened to be a very busy man. And he had a business to run, a very important business.
Talks of soybean factories and the many and varied acquisitions was what he was all about. He was not a simple man with a nine to five job. He was the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar enterprise. What did she expect? That he would be available to her whenever she wanted him?
She looked up at the sound just inside the doorway and saw her assistant coming towards her with several files.
Forcing a smile, she urged the woman forward.
“Please tell me those are the confirmations we have been waiting for. I just spoke with Craig, and he told me he would get back to me.” With a sigh, she reached for the files.
“You would think I am asking for millions.”
“You are shaming stodgy dried-up bankers and people who had seen the needs of those children and done nothing about it.” Gloria had left a very lucrative executive position in a well-known firm to join hands and hearts with her.
Sonya had warned her that she would not be able to pay her what she had been earning, but the woman had insisted that she did not need the money.
“I admire what you’re doing here and would very much love to be a part of it.” That had been three years ago, and Sonya was grateful for the woman’s expertise and efficiency. She had left her to take care of things for the week and had not been disappointed.
Nor had she made a fuss about not being invited to the wedding. “You wanted family. I completely understand.”
“I want to say something.”
Sonya looked up from the files she was leafing through.
“Go ahead.”
“The shortfall is a little over ten thousand dollars.”
“I am aware.”
“Which could be filled by your husband.”
Placing the files carefully in front of her, she folded her hands and stared at the neat as pin woman who had come into her life when she needed her. “I had thought about that.” She said truthfully.
“But?”
“I don’t want to push him for something that big, this soon.”
And he’s not really my husband, she added silently.
“Honey, the man is loaded and the fact that he has been single all this time and has chosen you to be his wife, has to mean something.” Curious blue eyes stared at her. “That’s what husbands are for.”
She shook her head. “Robert is used to people hitting him up for a favor. I don’t want to be one of them.”
“You are more than entitled to be the one hitting him up. He is your husband.”
Sonya firmed her lips, unwilling to stay on the subject. He had just called to let her know he was going out of town and would not be back for a week. She was still reeling from that piece of information and had no idea what to do about it. She certainly did not want to talk about him.
“Let’s try Melvin again. He said he would think about it and get back to me. In the meantime, we received a check from Kane and Kelly, with a promise to supply the home with food for a year. That’s something to celebrate.”
“I need to say something.”
“As long as you say it in two minutes,” she glanced at her watch, “I have a meeting with the accountant.”
“What you are doing here is tremendous. You have dedicated your life to making a difference to other people. You have provided for children and made an impact in their lives.” Gloria sniffed. “I have no regrets coming to work for you Sonya.
When I first got here, I was skeptical…” She gestured towards the younger woman. “You are by far the most beautiful woman I have ever seen outside of a magazine.
You come from a wealthy family and could have taken a different path, but you chose to do this.” The woman sniffed again. “I really and truly admire you and the sacrifices you have made. You deserve a medal.”
Sonya felt the lump inside her throat at her words. Perhaps, right now, she needed to hear them, while she was feeling less than worthy.
Spending the week with Robert had her thinking about her past, especially her high school days and the shame was uppermost in her mind. The shame of doing nothing, of being frivolous and shallow and a complete bitch.
“Before you go ahead and start pinning awards on my chest, you must know that I did some pretty awful things when I was younger,” she admitted quietly.
“Who hasn’t?” The woman asked airily. “I was a holy terror in high school myself. The point is my dear, you are a different person now and that should count for something.”
“Thanks Gloria. You have no idea what that means to me.”