Chapter 9
CHAPTER
NINE
R ock did his best not to jostle the mattress much when he joined Lyla. He slid under the covers as carefully as possible, wearing loose cotton shorts and boxer briefs. Neither was keeping him from having a constant hard-on.
He’d turned all the lights off, but his nightlight glowed next to the bedroom door. Remi had put it there after his heart attack because she’d been worried about him falling in the night. He’d left it ever since. He hardly noticed it, but it was providing him enough light to stare at his Little girl now.
His Little girl?
Shit. She was not his. She’d come to Shadowridge to sell her parents’ house. She hadn’t even sought him out. He’d come to her. Would she have done so eventually? He wasn’t sure.
She was here now. In his bed. In his shirt. Hugging the two stuffies he’d given her. It made his chest tight to realize she’d kept that bear for all these years. It brought him to his knees. And now she was lying on her side, curled up around the two bears as though they were tethering her to Earth.
Fuck, she was precious. She didn’t look anywhere near as old as she was. In fact, he felt ancient next to her. Her hair was still brown, and he couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and brush it away from her temple.
She was facing him, which gave him the ability to stare at her, but it also meant he couldn’t wrap himself around her and spoon her. He’d dreamed of spooning Lyla most of his life. He’d often regretted that they’d never actually slept together—eyes closed—in his bed. They’d made good use of his bed, but they’d spent every second talking, teasing, fucking, learning each other’s bodies. He hadn’t had the chance to stare at her in her sleep or hold her against his chest.
Her lips were parted, and her face was smoothed out. Now that the painkillers had kicked in, she no longer had stress lines between her brows.
He smiled as he remembered the first time he’d seen her. She’d been awkward and nervous; he’d known it was because she’d also found herself attracted to him. She’d been the most adorable person he’d ever set eyes on. Nothing detracted from his instant attraction—not her braces, her glasses, or her gangly, not-quite-adult body.
Rock had kept his hands and his thoughts to himself for two years. He hadn’t intended to claim her the way he had on her prom night, either. He’d waited for her because he’d wanted to know how her evening had gone, but taking her home with him and deflowering her hadn’t been on his radar.
He’d never regretted a moment of that night, though he suspected she had. Why else would she have disappeared, never to return?
Eventually, he forced himself to relax against the pillow, his gaze still on her, mere inches separating their faces.
Lyla is in my bed . Please, God. Please let this be permanent. I never want to spend another night without her for the rest of my life .
There were so many unknowns. So much to discuss. They had a forty-year hole to fill, but his heart told him he would do anything to work it out and make her his for good.
Should he have tried harder to find her back then? Maybe. The ball had been in her court because she’d had his contact information. He’d had nothing. He’d known which university she attended, but it was on the other side of the country, so what could he have done? Driven there and stood around until she happened to walk by him?
He’d lost contact with her brother at the same time. It wasn’t like they’d had email and cell phones. He hadn’t even known where her parents had moved.
Rock had been the constant. After his internship, he’d returned to Shadowridge, taken a job in town, and never left. Yes, he’d lived. He’d met and married Kathy. He’d had two amazing kids with her and loved her to pieces. Losing her to cancer had been rough. She’d been his Little and his partner. She’d now been gone for twenty years. So long.
Rock had never remarried or even dated. He’d hooked up with women from time to time, but nothing serious. Oddly, in recent years, he’d found himself thinking about Lyla more and more. Foreshadowing?
And now she was here.
Forcing himself to close his eyes, he took deep breaths. Part of him feared he would wake up and find out this entire evening had been a dream. He wouldn’t wish harm on Lyla for any reason, of course, but the fact that she’d been attacked was the reason she was in his home.
He reached out with his hand and set it on one of the bears. He didn’t want to touch her and risk waking her, but he wanted to feel connected to her through the bear. If she moved, he would know.
And he did. Some time later, the bear was yanked out from under his palm; at the same time, a piercing scream filled the room, and the entire mattress moved.
Rock bolted upright, panic consuming him.
Lyla was next to him, sitting up, breathing heavily. For a moment, she stared at him, fear making her eyes wide.
He slowly reached out and cupped her cheek. “Nightmare?” He realized he must have been asleep a while because the sun was starting to come up.
She blew out a breath and nodded. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay, Baby girl.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Understandable.”
“That guy…” She shuddered.
“He’s gone now. He can’t hurt you.”
“What if he comes back? What if he still thinks I have something of his?”
“He doesn’t know where you are. I won’t let him get near you, Little Lyla.” He set his hand on her shoulder. “Lie down, Baby girl. Turn onto your other side.” He guided her back to the mattress and rolled her away from him before wrapping his arms around her and spooning her.
“Deep breaths. I’ve got you.” He stroked her hair, her arm, her hip.
She snuggled into him. “Rock…” She patted around on the mattress.
Confused, he gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m right here.”
“No… The bears.”
He chuckled. “Ah.” He lifted onto his elbow and looked around until he found the two stuffies, reached out to snag them, and tucked them in her arms. “I think you’ll need to name them something other than Rock. I’m going to get confused.”
She gasped. “You can’t give stuffies new names. Rock has been with me for years. That’s madness.”
He chuckled, loving the way it felt to laugh with her. “Good point. Maybe Rocky? Or Rock Two and Three?”
She giggled. “I don’t think that will work, either.”
Fuck, the sound of her laughter was musical. He pulled her closer, if that was even possible. If he had his way, he would never let her go. “How’s your head, Little one?”
“Mmm. It’s okay.”
“And your arms?” He stroked gently over her bicep.
“Fine. Can I ask you something?”
“Lyla, you can ask me everything.”
“Have you been in Shadowridge all these years?”
“Yes, Little one. Always. Except for the few months I was gone for my internship. I came home after that; took a job in town and a role in the MC. I’ve been here all my life.”
She didn’t respond.
He had a million questions for her. “Can I ask you something?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Do you still sketch?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you get your education degree?”
“Yes. I taught art in a high school for thirty years. I retired a few years ago.”
“Retired, huh?” That was good news. Maybe she didn’t have to be somewhere specific after she sold the house.
“Thirty years is long enough to deal with teenagers. Trust me.”
He chuckled. “I can imagine. I was certainly glad when my kids exited that phase of life.”
“I’m sorry about your wife,” she whispered. “That must have been hard.”
“It was, but I had the club for support and to help me out. My kids are good humans. I’m very lucky.” He stroked her arm again, loving the goosebumps that rose. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with your husband.”
She sighed. “Yeah. I don’t think I was fully invested.”
Because of me? That was crazy thinking. It was possible she hadn’t thought of Rock a single time in those years, but he sort of liked to think no one had been able to measure up to him. Very caveman of him.
Rock buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. Her scent hadn’t changed. She used the same shampoo or something similar. He never wanted to take a break to exhale.
“Where do you live?”
“I moved to Florida to be near my parents after I retired. I have a condo a few miles from them. My mother is in poor health, but my father manages fine.”
“And Jackson?”
“He lives in New York. He’s divorced. Two adult children. Living life. I guess you didn’t stay in contact with him?”
“No. I never saw him again after your parents moved away.”
“It was hard in those days. No cell phones. No internet.”
“Yes.” He kept touching her, stroking her arm. It was soothing. He was afraid to ask the hard questions, so he didn’t. Not yet. They would have to talk about the difficult things eventually, but not now.
She threaded her fingers with his—the arm he had stretched under her neck.
“Were those sketchpads I saw in your satchel?”
“Yeah.” She twisted her neck to meet his gaze in the dim light. “Don’t look at them,” she demanded.
He furrowed his brow. “You still don’t like anyone to see your work?” That was one of the first things she’d told him when they’d met.
“No. It’s… My sketches are really just doodles. They’re personal. I don’t like to share.”
“I bet you’re an amazing artist. Too bad you keep it hidden.”
“People have seen my art. After all, I taught it for thirty years. Just not my sketchpads.”
“Ah. I’d like to see some of your work someday.”
“Maybe. I don’t sell it or anything, but I do have some of my own artwork on the walls of my condo.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Maybe you could paint something for my house.”
“Mmm,” she responded noncommittally.
“Does your head hurt? Do you want some more Tylenol?”
“I’m okay for now.”
Talking to her was so easy. They’d rarely had the opportunity to just sit and chat back then. Occasionally, they’d have a few minutes together when her brother left the house to run out and pick up pizza, or when Rock came by early and her brother wasn’t home. He’d made that happen as often as he could without it seeming weird to anyone, but not often enough.
After a bit of silence, Lyla spoke again. “I can’t believe someone attacked me.”
“I can’t either. Crime is pretty low around here. I’m going to make some calls tomorrow and try to track that guy down. I don’t like the idea of you having to look over your shoulder.”
“Can you drop me off at the house in the morning? And maybe wait with me until Ink and Breaker get there?”
Rock scooted back a few inches and rolled Lyla onto her back so he could look into her eyes. “Baby girl, I’m not leaving you anywhere . If you want to go to the house, I’ll take you to the house. If you want to go to the store, I’ll take you to the store. If you want to get your nails done, I’ll drive you and wait.”
Her eyes went wide. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask me. That’s just how it is.” He obviously hadn’t made it clear that he had no intention of ever letting her out of his sight again. In truth, he realized he hadn’t said that at all. He’d simply thought it. He might freak her the fuck out if he laid down the law like that.
“Surely you have stuff to do? A job? Club business? Family obligations?”
“Lyla, the moment I stepped into your house, you shot to number one on my priority list and knocked everything else down in importance. I don’t have a traditional job. I worked for the city for many years, but I medically retired after my heart attack. I used to have a greater role in the club, but they no longer need me every hour of every day. My kids are grown adults. God bless Kade for chasing Remi around. She’s a handful as a Little. And Atlas has his own handful, Carlee. Any stuff I had to do isn’t important. I’ll be stuck to you like glue.”
She held his gaze and swallowed hard. “You can’t mean that,” she finally whispered.
“Every. Word.”
She blinked. It was obvious she was stunned. Good. He didn’t mind her being stunned. He wanted to be perfectly clear how he felt. In fact, fuck it, he would flat-out tell her.
He dropped a hand on the other side of her body, effectively pinning her on her back without touching her. “Lyla, I’ve wracked my brain a million times, trying to figure out what happened between us all those years ago. At the time, I spent months wondering and worrying. I couldn’t understand why you disappeared and never came back. I beat myself up, trying to remember if I’d said something or done something to chase you away. I came up blank every time.
“I waited. I waited for over a year, pacing my apartment. When my lease was up, I renewed it for another year so you could easily find me. I checked in with the clubhouse every few days, asking if you’d called there, if you’d come by. Nothing. Always nothing. At the end of the following summer, a few of my associates dragged me to a bar, got me shitfaced, and told me it was time to move the fuck on. So, I did. It took a while, but I finally did. I had no way to find you. You were gone. You weren’t coming back. I had to let you go and live my life. And I did.
“I lived. I stuffed the memory of you to the back of my brain and dated. I eventually met and married Kathy. We had a great life. And then she was gone. I’d lost two loves. I couldn’t take something like that happening to me again, so I shut down and closed my heart off to other women.
“Now, my first love has suddenly shown up and flipped me on my ass. I know we have a million things to say to each other, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let you slip out of my hands again. I won’t. Seeing you… It’s like no time has passed at all. It’s like the light has come back on in my world, and I don’t want it to go out again.
“I don’t care that you’ve been in my arms for less than twelve hours. I don’t care what you have going for you in Florida. I’m not letting you go again. If you don’t want to stay in Shadowridge, we’ll go to Florida. Or Africa. Or fucking Thailand. I don’t give a fuck where.
“So, no. I won’t be dropping you off at your house and leaving you there with Ink or Breaker or any other of my brothers. I’d have heart palpitations if I left your side, worrying about you and freaking the fuck out. I don’t know why you left without a word. I don’t even care anymore. I only care that you’re back, and I know you feel the same connection. I see it in your eyes. You sleep with the fucking stuffie I gave you when you were eighteen, for Christ’s sake. You’re mine, Lyla. For the rest of our lives, you’re mine.”
His heart was racing faster than ever, but nothing hurt. His ticker was fine. He hadn’t felt this alive in years. The emotional exertion made him pant. He stared at her with the most serious, fierce expression he could paste on his face.
If she argued, he would counter everything she shot at him until he got her to see reason. She was his woman. His first love. His Little girl. His life partner. His last love.
After long seconds, she lifted her arms, snaked them around his neck, and pulled him toward her. Her gaze shifted to his lips. Thank fuck.
Rock cupped her head and brought his lips to hers, kissing her with all the passion he’d felt both then and now, kissing her like she was the last sip of water he would ever get, kissing her with his entire heart on his sleeve. Because his heart was hers.
The kiss lasted forever. When he finally pulled back, they were both breathing as though they’d run a marathon. He stared down into her eyes.
“Is it my turn to speak?” she asked, giving him a sweet smile.
“You can say anything to me,” he promised.
She licked her lips. “I don’t want to talk about why I didn’t come back yet. I’m not ready. Let me process it for a while.”
He nodded. He could live with that.
“But I believe you. I’m also willing to try this… Whatever this is. I wouldn’t be able to turn you down if I wanted to. You had a magnetic pull on me from the moment you stepped into my basement when I was sixteen, and that pull did not lessen with time. I felt it the second I heard your voice last night. It’s just as strong now as it was then. However, let’s not get carried away. Let’s feel each other out, get to know each other, and see if we have chemistry.”
He smirked. “Baby girl, we have the most powerful chemistry on Earth.” He cupped her face and kissed her again. Briefly, this time.
“Okay, maybe chemistry isn’t the right word. Maybe our wants and desires don’t align. Maybe our values aren’t in sync. We don’t know each other anymore. Let’s take a step back and get to know each other.”
He gave a sharp nod. “Little girl, I’ll wait until the end of time for you to realize we’re perfect together if that’s what you need. As long as you agree to this exploration without leaving my side. That’s my stipulation.”
She held up a finger between them. “First things first. I’m not remotely sure I’m capable of being the Little girl you think I am. My only experience with any sort of Dom/sub relationship was the night we spent together. I’ve read a lot. I’ve researched it. But I have zero experience. I’ve never even been to a fetish club. So, be patient with me while I figure that out. I can tell dominance is in your blood, even without you pointing it out. I can also tell that you’re a Daddy Dom. If I’m not feeling it, and I can’t be the Little girl you crave, you have to be able to walk away.”
He grabbed the finger she was shaking in front of him and brought it to his lips to kiss it. He had no concerns about her submission, but he would humor her and let her figure it out. “Agreed.”
She lifted a brow. “Really? That was easy.”
“That was me being cocky. There’s a difference.”
She giggled. Fuck, he loved that sound. He kissed her finger again. “I know you. I know the submissive in you needs nurturing. I’m not worried. What else do you want to throw at me? Bring it on. I can take it.”
She drew in a breath. “I’ll let you follow me around because I’m freaked out about what happened last night, but I need you not to rush me.”
“I can agree to that, but you’ll sleep in my bed either here or at the club from now on.”
She nodded. “And I can agree to that as long as you don’t pressure me to have sex.”
“I won’t pressure you.”
She gave him a shove and slid out from under the covers.
He watched, wondering what was going on in her head as she stood next to the bed, wearing nothing but his T-shirt. She spun around, planted her hands on the mattress, and looked him in the eyes.
“You make my blood pump, Rock Monroe. You did then, and you still do now. I could pull this shirt off and let you ravage me—and I have no doubt you’ll wear me down in less than a day—but you’re a possessive Dominant, and I know you’ll get even more bossy and controlling after I let you fuck me senseless. I remember what that feels like. I could feel your touch inside and outside my body for weeks. The memory of your hands and mouth on me distracted me for years. I woke up in a cold sweat many times, touching myself without even realizing what I was doing. I’ve masturbated to visions of you my entire life. Give me time to catch my breath and wrap my head around this before you take over my body.”
He gave her a wicked grin, feeling pretty fucking good about himself. “As much time as you want, Baby girl.”
She groaned. “You’re not going to make it easy, are you?”
“Never.”
She rolled those pretty eyes. “May I please take a shower, Master?”
He rose so fast that she jumped back. In seconds, he was on his feet, stalking her until she backed into the wall. He didn’t touch her, but he once again pinned her anyway with a hand on either side of her head. He stared into her eyes. “You may take a shower. Don’t forget to put your shampoo and girly shit in there before you start. I want you to smell like whatever floral flavor that shit is. Not my crap.”
She nodded.
“And, Baby girl…”
“What?” Her voice wobbled. Good. He wanted her a little off-kilter. He liked it. “You won’t call me Master. When you’re ready, you will call me Daddy. There has never been anything sweeter in my life than the memory of you calling me Daddy. I can’t wait to hear that word from your lips again. Until then, Sir or Rock will do. Understood?”
She swallowed, held his gaze, and firmly stated, “Yes, Sir,” right before she ducked under his arm and slid from the room.
He didn’t move for long seconds. His cock was harder than it had been in years. She’d just called him Sir, and she hadn’t done so with a snarky voice.
She’d meant it.
When he finally shoved off the wall and stepped out of the room, rubbing his cock over the front of his shorts, he realized he had one more stipulation he wanted to make.
He stepped up to the bathroom door and knocked. “Lyla?”
“Yes?”
“I’m probably a far bossier Daddy Dom than you can even imagine. I will impose rules on you that will make your pussy so wet you won’t be able to sit still. We’ll get to those rules later, but I’m going to insist that you follow one of them starting right now.”
“Rock…” she groaned.
“Little Lyla, I’m serious.”
“Fine. What is this rule?”
“Do not touch that sweet pussy of yours any more than absolutely necessary. I don’t know how often you masturbate or what you usually need to do to get off, but it stops now. Your orgasms are mine, starting this minute. Understood?” If she wanted to wait to have sex, he would give her as much time as she needed, but she sure as fuck wasn’t going to lock herself in the bathroom, close her eyes, and picture him while she rubbed her pussy. Fuck, no.
Something clattered to the floor. It didn’t sound like it broke. Maybe a brush or something.
“Lyla…”
“Yes, Sir,” she responded.
“Good girl. Enjoy your shower. There’s Tylenol in the medicine cabinet. Take some. I’ll make breakfast.”
His cock was too hard to walk straight as he stepped away, but he was feeling pretty good about himself, too. Smug.
Lyla was back.
Now, he just needed to help her see that she was his and he would never let her go again.