Chapter 41
Jodi Castle
“Do you ever think that maybe you chose the wrong man?”
Jodi peeled her gaze away from her image in the mirror to stare at Lee beside her, holding an equally blood spotted tissue to his nose. They were in the tiny tour bus bathroom, crowded before the mirror.
“Lee, he’s your friend.”
“Yeah. He’s also the clown responsible for this, and I’d like to ring his scrawny neck right now.
” He lowered the tissue and inspected the crust of dried blood around his left nostril.
Satisfied that it was no longer dripping, he aimed the tissue at the toilet, missed and had to scoop it off the floor.
“You realise he’s just cost us the tour, if not our bloody careers. ”
She hadn’t really thought as far as consequences. Her head was still smarting from the smack in the face she’d sustained. Adrenaline was still pumping through her veins, and unlike Lee’s, her nose didn’t seem to want to stop leaking red stuff.
“Pinch,” he advised. “Not there, a bit further up.”
“You know this is all my fault, not his.”
“Nope. Wasn’t you that took a swing at Rock Giant with a mic stand.”
She still couldn’t quite wrap her mind around that fact even though she’d damned well witnessed it.
“What I did led to it.”
Lee gave a nod. “I’m sure Nash’ll be happy for you to take the blame, but fuck that. And fuck him. Christ, Jo, wake up. The man’s a tool. A complete and utter tool, and you deserve better. I’m sick of hearing you make excuses for him. Are you not sick of making them?”
But…Nash had been sweet, and they’d agreed to put all the disasters of the last few weeks behind them and make another go of it.
“Jo. Gawd.” Lee knocked her hand aside. “Stop letting go or it’ll never stop.” He pinched for her.
“Do you really think Black Halo will dump you?”
Pain shot across the surface of his eyes.
“Of course they’re going to ditch us. Nash just attacked their bassist in front of a live audience.
We’ll be lucky if we play another gig, let alone open for Black Halo again.
The whole rock star thing, it’s over. We’re done.
By the end of the night, I expect I’ll have had my arse handed to me by Brian, Samson, Harry and probably Black Halo’s manager too.
” He let go of her nose and nodded when the blood trickle didn’t resume.
“Be a miracle if the words assault charges don’t get thrown around.
If they don’t, it’ll only be because the lawyers haven’t had their say yet. ”
“You really think it’ll be that bad?” Why did they all have to suffer, when it’d been Nash who’d taken the swing? It wasn’t fair to tarnish them all with the same brush. Then again, it had turned into a full-scale rumble with everyone in the vicinity involved.
Lee had taken the sort of breath that filled up his cheeks.
He released it in one long puff. “Truth. I think it’s gonna be worse.
” He laced his fingers above his head, then dragged both hands down his face.
“Believe me, I’m praying otherwise, but my guts say we’re sunk.
Christ, even if by some miracle we don’t get booted, we’re going to get dogpiled on social media.
I guarantee footage of what happened is already circulating.
And Black Halo fans are completely rabid. ”
“I’m sorry, Lee. I’m so sorry. Fucking, shit!” She yelled the latter part while taking a swipe at a stack of paper towels. They scattered like a hundred disabled butterflies.
This wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. Lee, Balin, Jez, they didn’t deserve to have their dreams snatched away from them like this.
Not because she’d fucked up. Not because she’d been incapable of being honest. She looked up and met Lee’s anxious gaze in the mirror, then turned to face him again.
“I’m so sorry, Lee. I should never have come on this tour. ”
“Would you stop it?” He shook his head, making his long hair swish against his shoulders. He reached out to her, and pulled her closer, one hand behind the back of her neck and reeled her in until their brows were braced against one another. “You need to ditch the martyr routine.”
“You say that, but if it wasn’t for me getting handfasted to Rock Giant, then none of this would ever have happened. The tour would have run smoothly.”
“If Nash hadn’t stood you up, you’d never have got handfasted to another man.”
“I shouldn’t have got high.”
Lee sandwiched her head between his hands. “You’re still not listening. He shouldn’t have stood you up. There’s no fucking reason why you should shoulder the blame for all of this. It’s time the annoying fucker took some responsibility for his own actions.”
“Maybe if I explain to Brian...to Samson, to Harry.”
“Explain what?”
“That I cheated on him, and that’s why he was angry. Why he attacked.”
Her heart was fluttering like a caged bird inside her chest. Her lungs felt tight, like someone had bound them with a dozen rubber bands. Her nose hurt where she’d been hit. Her eyes were stinging too, and it was getting harder and harder to see Lee through the filter of tears gathering in them.
“Breathe, Jo. Breathe.” He stroked a gentle hand through her hair. “Babe, no one gives a shit what the reason was. It only matters that he did what he did.”
“Wait, are you not angry at me? I thought you’d be... How are you not angry with me?”
His jaw worked open and closed a couple of times without explaining.
“I don’t understand. He’s your friend. Your bandmate.”
“He’s also a colossal arse, and maybe...maybe I hoped—”
“Hoped what?”
“Murphy, you back there? Get your arse out here.” It seemed Samson had arrived along with the rest of the band if the jolts to the bus’s suspension were anything to go by. It was shit hitting the fan time.
Lee fished a clean T-shirt out of the cupboard by his bunk and pulled it on, leaving the blood splatted one behind on the floor. He took a step towards the door. Jodi caught hold of his arm.
“Hoped what, Lee?”
He offered her a tortured smile. “That you’d come to your senses, babe.”
“I... What?”
His hand stalled on the door handle. “He doesn’t deserve you. I’m not even sure he really likes you. I mean, he likes ordering you about, but that’s not really the same thing, is it?”
“You don’t think he likes me?” her voice rose into a squeak.
Lee wetted his lips and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “I have to go, Jodi.”
“Don’t you dare.” She clamped her hand against the door. “Explain what you mean. And then explain why you’ve never said it before.”
His mouth twisted, causing his nostrils to thin.
He looked almost longingly at the wood separating them from the front of the bus.
With a sigh, he bowed his head. “Just that it’s become increasingly obvious since we hit the road that what he values about you most is the opportunities it affords him to crow about shit.
‘Ooh, look at me. I have a girlfriend. Ooh, look we’re getting married.
Take a gander at the rock I got her, guys.
’ And then there’s the fact that he wasn’t remotely interested in you until I was.
Until Balin said you were cool, and Jez and Rune were ready to adopt you—”
“You were interested in me?”
“Murphy,” Samson yelled from the front of the bus.
Lee flashed her a sad grin. “Come on, you knew that.”
“No.” She hiccoughed. “I didn’t.”
Lee’s lips stretched open so that his teeth were showing. “Cute little cupcake like you, of course I was.”
“Murphy!”
“Was?”
“Was.” He pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re still cute, Jo-Jo, but I’m not looking for a relationship now, and even if I was, there’s already a man out there with his heart set on you.”
“Nash.”
“No, dumbo. Rock Giant.”
When she gulped, he patted her on the back.
“He said he loves me,” she whispered into his shoulder.
Lee teased her away from his body, so they were looking one another in the eyes again.
“If you mean Rock Giant, I don’t think he says much he doesn’t mean.
If you mean Nash, I hate to say it, but I think he’s talking crap.
If he loved you, he wouldn’t have stood you up, he wouldn’t spend his time watching Balin screw, and he’d be ready to put you ahead of his own interests instead of using you as a convenient scapegoat for his own shortcomings. ”
A cry wriggled its way free of her throat. Lee pulled her fast against him, entwining her in a more aggressive hug.
“Lee, I’m frightened you’re right.”
“Nah. You’re frightened because you know I’m right.”
“Murphy, so help me God, if you don’t—” Samson wrenched the door open. He stared at the pair of them entwined, then made a thumbing motion indicating Lee needed to move up front. “You stay here,” he barked at her. “I don’t want to hear a peep from you. Got it?”
“Yeah,” she squeaked, cowering away from his rage.
Lee caught hold of the doorframe with both hands as Samson attempted to shove him over the threshold. He looked back at her. “I’m sorry I put the band ahead of our friendship. I should have said all this before.”