Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Creed
Sloane’s been off lately.
I don’t need to ask why. I can see it in her eyes.
That far-off look, the way her shoulders seem to carry the world even when she’s standing still. It’s the kind of quiet that doesn’t sit right with me.
She’s not laughing as much and not joking. She’s pulled into herself, and it’s clear something’s eating at her.
After I got the phone call, it hadn’t occurred to me that if we go on tour, it’s going to affect her life, which is why I haven’t said too much about it.
Too bad Roman hasn’t got the memo.
“…so, I was thinking, if we do sign with that guy,” he says, shoveling down breakfast pancakes. “Then we need to think about a tour name.”
His voice is full of excitement, while I am just sitting here, waiting for the moment when the floor falls out from under me. Again.
I glance over at Sloane. She’s sitting a little farther down the table, her coffee untouched. Her gaze is far away, looking out the window, watching the snow fall, but not really seeing it.
I’m about to say something to steer this conversation away from the mess Roman’s trying to drag us into, but I can already see the look on her face, the thin line between holding it together and breaking.
Roman doesn’t notice, of course. He never does.
“C’mon, Creed, help me out here!” Roman presses, bubbling with that energy of his. He doesn’t pick up on the tension, doesn’t see how quiet Sloane’s become. “We could call it Wild Reverie: The Next Chapter or something equally epic. Get a tagline going, really sell the comeback.”
I chew on my toast, my teeth grinding against the soft bread because it’s the only thing keeping me from snapping. “Roman, we haven’t made any solid decisions yet. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
He shrugs, not getting it. “What do you mean? We’re finally—”
“Not yet,” I cut him off, my tone harsher than I intended. “There’s a lot we still have to figure out.”
Roman looks at me, but his gaze flicks back to the pancakes on his plate. He doesn’t press the issue, at least not yet. Good. I don’t think I have the patience for his usual antics today.
Sloane gets up without a word, pushing her chair back with more force than necessary. My eyes follow her as she walks out of the room. She doesn’t make eye contact with anyone, her body tense, trying to disappear into the walls.
I feel it in my chest. The ache of knowing she’s leaving to avoid this conversation. The ache of knowing she’s dealing with it all in her head, alone.
“Don’t you see?” I hiss at Roman once she’s gone. “Sloane is struggling with this. You need to be more careful about what you say.”
“What do you mean? Why is Sloane upset?”
I part my lips, about to explain everything to him, when Ezra interjects, making me jump. I didn’t even know he was here.
“Because she doesn’t know what’s next. Because she doesn’t know if she belongs in our world when we’re on tour.”
Roman throws his hands in the air in frustration. “Of course she belongs with us. No matter where we go or what we do, she will always be a part of it.”
“So, maybe we need to show her?” I suggest. “Let her know that we’re here for her. If she wants us.”
“You think she might not want to?” Roman’s face finally falls. “That’s…”
I swallow hard. “We need to tell her how we feel…”
Ezra’s eyes meet mine. “Sloane needs more than just words, Creed. She needs us to show her, most profoundly, how deeply she matters to us. Not just in fleeting gestures, but in the very marrow of our actions, in the spaces between what we say and what we do.” He pauses, his gaze unwavering.
“She’s given us so much of herself, without asking for anything in return.
Now, it’s time we give her something that speaks louder than anything we could ever say. ”
Roman’s still missing the point. “So, what, we just tell her? We want you to be with us always?”
I let out a sharp breath, running my hand through my hair as I try to find the right words.
“No. We need to show her. We need to make sure this Christmas, her Christmas, is magical. We don’t know what’s coming next, man.
We don’t know if we’ll have a future like this, but right now, we can make sure she knows she’s a part of something real and important. ”
Roman exhales slowly, his usual fire dimming for a moment. “So… we make this Christmas special? We show her she’s part of it. Like, really part of it?”
I nod, the idea settling into place. “Yeah. Exactly. We’ll do something big. Something personal.”
Ezra breaks the silence again. “The point is, we show her. We give her something she’ll never forget. Let her know she matters to us, to this band, not just as the person who takes care of us, but as part of us.”
Roman’s eyes light up, a grin breaking out across his face as if he’s finally starting to understand. “Okay, okay. I’m with you now. But, uh, how do we do that? What’s the plan?”
I look between the two of them, and it all lifts slightly. This is the part where we can really make it count.
“We need to think about more than just presents,” I say slowly. “We need to create an experience. A memory.”
Roman rubs his hands together, clearly getting excited. “Alright, so, what do we do first? Christmas dinner? You know I’m all about the food.”
Ezra steps forward, his eyes alight with the same excitement, but his thoughts are more measured.
“The dinner, yes, but not just any dinner. Something that speaks to her. Something we know she’ll appreciate.
” His eyes meet mine again, and I can see that quiet determination in him.
“We need to make sure everything feels intentional. Thoughtful. Not rushed or half-done.”
Roman’s already bouncing on his heels, his usual cocky grin replacing any doubts that might have lingered.
“Okay, okay, I’m in. So, I’ll handle the food and maybe add more decorations.
I’ll go for something traditional but with a twist. Nothing too fancy, but something that’ll feel like home.
We can’t go overboard; it needs to feel real. ”
“So, what about gifts?” I ask, darting my eyes between them both. “What do we do?”
“I’m thinking maybe a leather jacket…?” Roman starts. “Something she can wear that’ll remind her of us.” He looks at Ezra, then me. “What do you think?”
I pause, weighing it in my mind. “I like it. It’s bold, but we need to make sure it’s something that she’ll love. Not just something we think is cool. Something she’ll wear, something that feels like her. I’ll talk to Ivy about it. She knows her style better than anyone.”
Ezra, always the more introspective one, has a far different idea.
“I’m thinking something quieter. A journal.
A place where she can write her thoughts, her dreams…
maybe even her fears. I don’t know. It feels right for her.
” He looks at Roman, then me. “But not just a blank journal. Something handcrafted. Maybe a leather-bound one. I’ll have it engraved with a quote. ”
I nod, feeling a quiet approval for Ezra’s idea. “That’s perfect. Personal and meaningful.”
Roman looks between the two of us and starts to grin. “This is gonna be so good. We’re gonna make this the best damn Christmas she’s ever had.”
I sit back, thinking about it. A journal, a leather jacket, those are good ideas, but for me… it’s gotta be something that speaks to where we are now, where I’ve come from since Sloane showed up in my life.
I can still remember the guy I used to be, not so long ago.
The one who had his meals planned down to the gram, who never veered off his path, who thought he had everything under control.
I wasn’t… flexible. I held everything together by a thread, not realizing how tight I was pulling it until I couldn’t breathe anymore.
Sloane’s the one who changed that.
She pulled me out of that shell without even trying, just by being herself. Messy and loud and unpredictable.
She brought color to the black-and-white world I had built around myself. She taught me that it’s okay to loosen up. To enjoy the moment, even if it’s not perfect. To laugh when things don’t go according to plan.
I lean forward, the idea coming to me as clear as day. I’ll get her something that reflects that. Something that shows I’m not the rigid, uptight guy I used to be. Not anymore.
“Alright,” I say, breaking the silence, looking at Roman and Ezra. “I’ve got it. I know what I’m getting her.”
Roman raises an eyebrow, clearly eager to hear my plan. “Well, don’t keep us in suspense, man.”
I take a breath, feeling my words. “I’m getting her a cookbook.
Not just any cookbook. A book full of recipes from different countries.
The kind of food that’s messy, unplanned, and full of flavor.
The kind of food you make when you’re not worried about it fitting into some strict rule.
Food that reminds you it’s okay to get your hands dirty, to try something new, to take risks. ”
Ezra’s quiet for a moment before he gives a slight nod of approval. “That’s… fitting. It’s more than just a gift. It’s a reflection of how you’ve changed. How she’s helped you change.”
Roman’s grin widens. “Damn, dude, that’s deep.
I like it. Food’s been a big part of her journey with us.
She’s always cooking for us, but this is a way of sharing that with her.
Not just giving her a recipe, but giving her something she can build on, something that encourages her to experiment. I bet she’ll love it.”
I feel a spark of confidence. “Yeah. It’s the perfect way to show her that I’m not the same guy I was before. And I’m not going back to that.”
“Hell yeah, man.” Roman claps me on the back, already off to buy a truckload of decorations. “We’ve got this. Sloane’s gonna have the best Christmas ever. And I might have another idea, but I want to see if I can make it work before I tell you all about it…”