Chapter 39
Maddy
I have been slumped against Mick’s hotel room door for the last half hour. Knocking, begging, apologizing, pleading. Every request is met with, “No, go away, you’ve royally fucked me, bestie.”
The way she says bestie dripping with sarcasm starts my waterworks again.
It’s clear. I have royally fucked this friendship.
Because of my temper, my lack of control.
I’m so mad at myself that I could scream, but instead I kick the door like a tantrumming toddler.
Is there a therapist back in LA who focuses on self-control? Because shit, I need to hire them ASAP.
“I hope you choke on your boyfriend’s dick! I hope ruining my life was fucking worth it!”
I cry that I’m sorry until there’s nothing left of my hoarse, ragged voice.
Finally, Mickie opens the door. But it isn’t because of the toddler behavior.
It’s because of who’s calling on her phone.
She holds up the screen with panicked eyes and ushers me quickly inside.
My heart is in my throat. It’s a bigwig exec. at MAX. Fuck!
“Hello, Mickie Anders?”
She attempts to cover her shaky voice with a sunny facade, “You’ve got Mickie and Maddy Morningstar on the line. Hello.”
“Oh! Both of you, hi. We’ve uh, we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a scandal, haven’t we?”
“We’re, I—” My voice cracks. “I’m so sorry. This is not Mickie’s fault. A vengeful individual shared it, and it’s been removed from all social platforms. It shouldn’t affect our viewership, but … just fire me. She had nothing to do with the leak.”
“I’ve already called your management teams, but I wanted to also call to let you girls know that I love Palace of Lies, and that you’re both incredible.
But my higher-ups have spoken; they just can’t get involved with a media circus of this magnitude.
Truly, I didn’t want them to terminate your contracts, but they said they had no choice.
I’m so sorry there won’t be any more seasons moving forward.
I know so many wanted to see the Princess’s story continue. ”
Mick chokes back a sob. “There isn’t anything we can do?”
And as many times as I chant in my head, I didn’t manifest this, I didn’t manifest this, I would never hurt my friend like this on purpose. I know that I had, I know that I did.
There are more apologies on his end and more assurances that we will be well compensated for them breaking our contract, and then it’s done. Right as he hangs up, a text from Mickie’s agent pops up that her books are already flying off shelves faster than ever, and she scoffs angrily.
There is no point in wiping away my tears; they just keep falling along with her furious ones. Her cerulean, blue eyes are the darkest stormy sea, and it breaks my heart that I made them that way.
“I cannot fucking believe you’d ruin your best friend’s life because you were a pathetic, jealous, insecure little—”
“I’m so sorry, Mick!” I sob, “I wish I could undo what I did, I wish I wasn’t so stupid! I—”
“No, you don’t. You’ve wanted to be a musician’s wife since you were a child, and just because you didn’t realize it until this summer doesn’t make it any less true.
You’d break anyone who stood in your way.
I know you assaulted Lily for merely suggesting she wanted him, and she should’ve pressed charges.
You were so out of control, you threw my life away in her hotel room.
How can you fucking refute that? You wanted it so badly, you’d gladly expose yourself and ruin my life in the process! ”
“Mickie, I never meant to.” Can I refute any of that? I want to, I try, but the words don’t come out, because I can’t, can I? I can go ahead and call Lily the villain as much as I want, but it doesn’t make her the only one.
“Just because you never meant to hurt me doesn’t mean you didn’t. Now admit it, Matilda.”
The slash she marks across my heart aches in a way that I know I deserve. “I’m the fucking villain!” I scream, throwing my arms up in the air. “I didn’t mean to sabotage season three, but I did.”
“Oh, you fucking meant to!”
“Do you think I purposefully left the phones in her room? I would never do that. I promise, Mick.”
“Then what the fuck did you do? I deserve to know the truth. Did you take the encryption or whatever off the video?”
“No!”
I start to hear the soft, kind voice and gentle tapping at the door, which could only be Kel. “Sweeties? Please let me in. I can help. I can do your makeup early, and you will look better than I’ve ever made you look before. Please?”
“Fuck off, Kel!” Mick glares at me. “Give it up, bitch.”
My crumpled heart knows how selfish and heartless I was stomping on Mickie's dream like that, so I might as well give her the truth. “You won’t believe me if I tell you.”
“Oh, the hell I won’t. Now I know you’re capable of anything.”
I try to explain in ragged sobs, and it’s the most ridiculous thing that I have ever said out loud in my life.
“I manifested season three getting cancelled under the full harvest moon, thirty minutes from Stonehenge. The energy must've been too strong where I was. I knew it would hurt you, and I felt horrible. I just, I couldn’t spend another winter in the North with Ace, and I didn’t think it would ever actually work. ”
“And now I’m supposed to believe you have magic powers? You’ve been hanging out with your Godmom too much. I’m so done. Kel, come get your friend out of here, now! I’m flying home.” Mickie shoves past me and flings the door open, and Kel practically falls into the room.
“Mickie, don’t leave, please.” Kel tries to put her hand on Mick’s shoulder, but she shrugs it off and starts shoving things into the big red suitcase on her massive white bed.
I wipe my eyes. “Mick, please don’t leave. We love y—”
“Save it. The damage is done, so get out.”
I’m so devastated that I nearly crumple to the floor, and Kel leads me out of the room. Mickie slams the door behind us, and it feels so final, the lump in my throat squeezing my emotions like a vice.
Kel sighs as we walk towards the lift, “Well, I’ve officially seen all fifty shades of Mick and Maddy today.”
“Kel?” I manage to squeak out.
“I’m sorry, I had to. Mickie will come around, and if people are upset, judging you, angry … you know it’s just because they’re jealous. Why wouldn’t they be? That was the hottest thing I’ve – anyone’s – ever seen.”
“Kel? You watched it?” I stumble into the elevator with her.
“I didn’t mean to. Kennedy and Penelope played it for me and—”
“They saw it?”
She takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Babe, you’re going to have to realise, everyone saw it. And only those pearl-clutching conservative types are going to be offended. The last ones I thought to care about kinky behaviour were MAX!”
“So, they called you?”
“Yes. Mads, bless you. I did not want to spend another winter there freezing my arse off.”
“Well, at least you’re not mad at me.” I sniff. “Does that mean you wanna entertain our idea?”
“To come live in LA? Absolutely. I need a god damn tan. I’ve heard you and Jett are running a matchmaking service there with a hundred percent success rate, so I’m definitely going to be utilising that!
He showed me a pic of Bryson and I was sold.
Plus, I’ll be drowning in work there until you're ready for me, then I'll be there for you when you’re ready to make your horror film. I can’t wait to hire my whole FX team. ”
I hug her like she’s my only silver lining.
But then I think of the look on Mick’s face as she kicked me out and the fact that she was supposed to write the screenplay with me, and I start crying again as she leads me into her room.
I sit in the fluffy white rolling chair that matches all the beds in this place and face myself in her mirror.
It is quite the sight, and I mean that in the worst way possible.
I have cried so many tears today that my face is completely swollen and red; I might as well have run myself through a meat tenderizer.
“I’m hideous, Kel.”
She takes a baby-pink, handheld fan off her vanity and cools my face with it. “If you keep this pointed at your eyes and stop focusing on the negatives, you’ll stop crying, and I can start colour correcting.”
“How am I supposed to go on stage tonight, Kel? Just act like nothing’s wrong when everything is?”
She dabs me with a cooling toner. “What do you always say, you’re a professional liar?
So yeah, you lie, you pretend you’re okay, because you will be, eventually.
And you need to remember, you’re not just going up there for Jett.
This is the unveiling of the new Maddy, the one that fits her last name, the one that’s dark and a little vicious.
The one that doesn't care what people think of her. The bad girl that makes people wanna go see a slasher flick like none other before. This will go viral in a good way, and over time, everyone will forget about this morning’s leak. ”
I don’t know if I believe her, but I try to think of something positive. “At least I’ll be wearing a god damn mask.”