Chapter 5
five
. . .
Ruby
It’s been a long day. Every note I play feels cramped in my head at the moment, crowded out by Cody and Sebastian and the fight they keep having over and over. Otis hides behind his drum set while Norrie growls with frustration.
"Let’s rework your riff right here," Sebastian suggests.
"That’s not how I wrote it. You don’t get it," Cody snorts back, threatening to erupt in an explosion of annoyance. He slams his fists onto the top of his amp.
Sebastian doesn’t flinch. "Just give it a chance," he pleads.
Otis’ sticks tap faster and faster behind me, it’s as if he’s counting down to the inevitable eruption between the brothers.
"I like it." Otis clicks his tongue against his cheek. "Seb’s idea,” he clarifies. “We should, uh. We should try it."
He’s half-standing now, craning over his kit to see if he can make eye contact with Norrie, but Norrie’s still watching and not jumping in.
Not stopping this, yet. Maybe he’s letting the brothers hash it out this time, except Cody and Sebastian don’t hash things out.
They snide at each other and bicker constantly and have been doing it all day, leading to the pounding in my head.
"You don’t have to be here," Cody’s still looking at Sebastian.
"I am here," Sebastian sighs. "And I hear potential."
Cody isn’t yelling, but he’s intense enough that I keep bracing for it. For him to really snap, for the amps to blow, for the room to catch on fire.
"I wrote it that way for a reason." Cody’s getting closer now to the inevitable explosion.
There’s no room between him and Sebastian, and no room for us to breathe as we watch on. I can’t handle the tension. It reminds me so much of all that is wrong in my life.
"So, rework it," Sebastian says, like it’s the easiest thing to do. Then again, Sebastian believes everything is easy.
"Together," Norrie finally speaks.
"This isn’t working." Cody refuses to back down, but he doesn’t drop his guitar or walk out. He just stands there.
I get why he’s frustrated.
I also I get why he’s not giving up.
Norrie steps back and rubs his eyes in frustration. I can’t blame him. I feel the same way—impatient, exasperated, and mostly helpless .
"We’re here to play," Norrie says finally. "We’re here to work together."
Cody shakes his head. "No," he says. "I’m here to play the way I know I can.”
"This isn’t just you," Sebastian pleads. His voice cracking, and I see for the first time how much he’s trying to reason with his brother.
"It’s not just you, either," Cody retorts.
His arms drop to his sides for a second, like he’s giving up, like he’s about to walk away. But then he closes in and grabs the neck of his brother’s guitar. Sebastian doesn’t flinch. Not at first.
I can tell it’s going to get ugly. I brace myself for the moment the guitars get smashed, for everything to crash to the floor, for fists, for…
This time, they’re not stopping.
This time, it’s going to be worse.
Otis sets his sticks down in anticipation of the fight to come.
I can’t do this. I get ready to run, to not stop and never look back.
Suddenly, Norrie’s between them. "We’re here to play the damn music," he shouts, louder than I’ve ever heard him. "Not to tear each other apart."
The room falls silent.
"We can’t do it unless we all work together,” Norrie continues with a shake of his head.
For the moment, there’s no more shouting.
For the moment, nobody is leaving .
"We’re not kids anymore," Sebastian addresses his brother. I expect him to end on a derogatory comment. But there isn’t one.
"You’re both acting like it," Norrie retorts.
And then it’s silent again.
I can feel the tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. This situation brings back memories that are painful and unforgiving.
My hands tremor on the keyboard, producing an unearthly sound. All eyes in the room turn to me. They see me, the real me for the first time, not the girl I hide behind with the bright red hair. They see the one who was broken in high school and needs this band to put her back together again.
"Let’s see if we can make this work." Norrie comes to me and places his hand over mine on the keyboard, changing the eerie notes to a melody of calm.
Sebastian grabs his pick. "Together.”
Begrudgingly, Cody nods at his brother before adjusting his guitar strap and standing next to him.
The tension in the room shifts to something I haven’t felt in a long time—a frisson of excitement.
Norrie steps back to his mic, center stage, and Otis launches into the first bar of the song.
Cody and Sebastian wait, watching each other to see who’s going to start first.
"It’s your call," Sebastian offers. "We’ll play it your way."
Cody nods. "It’s not my way. It’s ours. "
With those words, an uneasy peace is restored. The air changes. It feels charged and new, edgy and alive.
The moment they both play their first notes, it’s not silent anymore. It’s the furthest thing from silent, and it quietens my unwanted memories and is enough to keep me here, at least for now.