Chapter 11
11
I’m lying face-down on a sunlounger, a soft, warm hand is smoothing cool lotion over my shoulders, down my back, skimming my hips, before gliding along the backs of my thighs.
The sun is too bright for me to see and I tilt my pelvis to get some friction against the canvas cushion, my breath coming fast and shallow.
Fingertips trail up my inner thighs and I let out a moan that wakes me up.
It takes me a second to get my bearings.
Am I at home? Adam’s bedroom?
And then I realise. I’m in the cabin I share with Berry.
She’s asleep directly above me and I’m pretty sure I just had a sex dream about her.
I really hope I didn’t moan out loud.
I put my hands up to my hot cheeks.
When I thought about having to share a room with someone, this wasn’t something I’d even thought to worry about.
But then I didn’t expect to hear a super-hot story about a woman licking her hand in a club either.
I lie very still for a while and stare up at the underside of Berry’s bunk.
When I’m fairly sure she really is still asleep – if not, she’s an excellent faker – I climb carefully out of bed and close the door gently behind me.
Adam is sitting at the table in the crew room, his head resting on his folded arms, a coffee steaming just in front of him.
‘Morning,’ I say as I get myself a coffee.
My voice comes out rough and husky.
He lifts his head and smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
I push the dream out of my mind and sit next to him on the bench seating.
He shuffles along until my thigh is pressed against his thigh.
‘You okay?’ he asks me.
I nod. If anyone came in, they’d probably wonder why the two of us are only using about twenty per cent of the seating, but I don’t even care.
It feels so good to be close to him.
To smell his familiar Adam scent, to see the ends of his hair still damp from the shower.
Under the table, he rests his hand on my thigh and I shudder.
This is what I wanted.
This is what we talked about.
Sexy sneaking around.
We haven’t done enough of it lately.
There hasn’t been time.
He squeezes my thigh, his thumb brushing over my skin.
‘Are you sleeping okay?’ he asks me.
‘Not bad.’ I wash away the memory of the dream with coffee.
‘Are you not?’
‘Not really.’
He’s never been a great sleeper.
He can get to sleep just fine, but if he wakes up, he struggles to fall back to sleep again.
Whenever I stayed over, I told him to wake me rather than just lie there.
We could talk or kiss or have sex, something to help him relax enough to get a couple more hours.
But he hardly ever did.
He’d go on his phone instead and that never helped.
‘I miss you when I wake up,’ he says, his voice low, his hand moving higher up my leg.
I want to catch it between my thighs and rub against it, finally get the friction I was trying for in my dream, but one of the cabin doors opens and then Nico staggers in, hair sticking up in clumps, eyes still half closed.
‘Morning, lovebirds.’ He heads straight for the coffee machine.
Adam slides along the seat away from me.
My thigh feels cold when he takes his hand away.
I glance at him and he shakes his head almost imperceptibly.
Louise comes through and opens the fridge, taking out a bottle of juice before sitting down opposite Adam and me.
‘Hope, I’d like you to come with me to get some provisions after breakfast, okay?
’
I nod. ‘Sounds good.’
‘We’re cleaning the anchor locker,’ Nico tells Adam.
‘What a joy to be alive.’
He yawns loudly, stretching his arms over his head.
His joggers sit low on his hips, his T-shirt riding up to show smooth, light brown skin.
I notice Louise noticing, her cheeks flushing, her lips parting.
It makes me wonder if Nico’s comments about me and Adam are actually him projecting.
Not that I can see him and Louise together.
She’s so serious and conscientious and he’s .
. . not.
Over the next few minutes, the others appear.
Berry in the shorts and vest she sleeps in, but with a baggy black cardigan over the top, the edges of the sleeves unravelling around holes she’s pushed her thumbs through.
My cheeks heat at the sight of her and I pretend to be fascinated by my coffee.
Liam comes down the stairs in shorts and a vest too, his hair wet with sweat even though it’s still early.
He likes to go for a run first thing.
And then he bypasses breakfast in favour of a shower.
As we all get breakfast and slowly wake up, Louise runs through our jobs for the morning – which include pouring water down all the drains in the boat, cleaning the vacuum filters and washing the doormats.
The next charter guests arrive in two days.
I feel more prepared than the last time, but still barely prepared at all.
‘How are you finding it so far?’ Louise asks me as we walk around the huge store, Louise with the list, me pushing the trolley.
‘You’re doing a great job, especially for a greenie.
’
I smile. ‘Thank you.’
‘What’s your plan?
Do you see yourself staying in yachting?
’
‘I don’t know actually.
Originally, we said we’d give it a year?
But that already doesn’t feel like long enough to me.
’
‘You and Adam said a year?’
I nod.
‘You know you don’t have to stay on the same programme as Adam, right?
’
She reaches for a carton of coconut water and lowers it into the trolley.
‘No, I know. It’s just this whole thing was his idea, and I went along with it.
’
I realise belatedly that this is probably not the right thing to tell my boss.
‘Which is not to say I didn’t want to do it!
Just that the impetus came from him.
’
She nods. ‘Don’t worry, I get it.
I just want you to know that even if ultimately Adam decides one year is enough, you can make a different choice.
’
‘No, I do know that. Thank you.’
I can’t really imagine doing it without Adam, but it’s good to know she appreciates me.
She gives one of her tiny, fast smiles, as if she doesn’t want to be caught being anything less than serious, and we keep shopping.
‘How did you get started in yachting?’ I ask her as we wander the wide aisles.
‘After uni,’ she tells me.
‘I went to Australia with my sister and we had the best time. It was meant to be sort of like a last hurrah before getting a proper job – my dad works in finance and I did a business degree and the plan was always to get an entry-level job, climb the ladder, etc.’
She drops a huge sack of teabags into the trolley, which is well on the way to being full.
‘Got back from Australia. My sister got a job in marketing. I applied for jobs, had a few interviews, but really just felt miserable about the whole thing. I kept making fantasy travel plans, you know? How much would I need to spend a year travelling around America? What if I did the whole South East Asia backpacking thing?’
We turn into the cleaning aisle and Louise looks at her list.
‘Anyway, long story short. I got offered a job. A good one. But then I couldn’t sleep.
Felt sick all the time.
Came out in a rash. So I turned it down.
My dad was furious. In the meantime, I’d been doing all this googling about work and travel and I’d found yachting.
So I applied to do a course and my certifications and then I got a job.
’
She puts almost an entire shelf of cleaning products into the trolley.
‘That first job was a nightmare. But I knew I was on to something, so I applied for another programme and that one turned out to be great. That’s where I first worked with Nico actually.
’
For a second, she looks almost soft and then she says, ‘He was even more of a dickhead then than he is now.’
I laugh.
‘I like him.’
‘Everyone does,’ she says.
When we get back to the Serendipity , Nico is on his way out for a run, so once I’ve helped Louise unpack and restock everything, I head to Nico and Adam’s cabin.
I’m hoping Adam might want to finish what we almost started this morning.
I knock on the door lightly in case he’s sleeping and hear a grunt in response.
When I push open the door, he’s lying in his bunk – like me, he has the bottom one – looking at his phone.
‘You okay?’ I whisper, closing the door gently behind me.
‘Knackered.’ He drops his phone on the bed next to him and rubs his face with both hands.
I crouch down next to him, curling my fingers around his wrist.
‘Nico’s gone for a run .
. .’
He yawns. ‘Yeah, he asked me if I wanted to go but I thought it might actually kill me.’
‘Are you aching?’
I ache constantly and his job is so much more physical than mine.
‘Always.’ He stretches, groaning.
‘Want a massage?’ I ask, flicking an eyebrow up.
He smiles, tiredly. ‘I would love that. But I think I just need to sleep.’
‘Okay.’
I lean in to kiss him, half expecting him to change his mind and pull me into the bunk with him, but he doesn’t.
He kisses me quickly, before saying, ‘Sorry. I really am shagged.’
‘Chance’d be a fine thing,’ I say, bumping his shoulder with my head.
He gives me a weak smile.
‘Sorry. M’just not up for it right now.
’
‘That’s okay.’ I drop a kiss onto his arm through his shirt.
‘I just thought since you were alone . . .’
‘I know, yeah. But I really just need to sleep. You prob should too.’
‘Nah. I’m gonna get a coffee and call Maddie.
She’s not working today.
’
‘Maddie?’
‘Yeah.’ My legs are hurting from crouching, so I stand up and stretch.
‘Did I tell you she was there for one of my mum’s check-ups?
She’s seen things no one should see.
’
He snorts. ‘You didn’t, no.
So you’ve talked to her already?
’
‘Maddie? Yeah. I’ll tell her you said hello.
’
I lean down and kiss him quickly.
‘Get some sleep.’
I turn the light out as I leave.
‘Do I need to dress up?’ I ask.
‘Nah. Unless you want to.’
Berry has convinced me to go to dinner with her at a hotel owned by a friend of hers – despite his claims of tiredness earlier, Adam has gone out in Palma with Nico and Liam.
Berry’s wearing cut-off jeans with a ruched black off-the-shoulder top, her hair an explosion of curls.
I put on loose white trousers and a dark pink vest and clip my hair up.
‘Cute!’ Berry says. ‘I like your hair like that. You’re just missing something .
. .’
She takes a step back, as far as she can in this tiny room, and studies me until I can feel my cheeks heating up.
‘Do you have any hoop earrings?’
I do.
I find them and, once I’ve put them on, she declares us good to go.
The hotel is tall and narrow, a tower of balconies and glass, set slightly back from a busy street not far from the marina.
I follow Berry past the terrace restaurant and pool and into the quiet and cool foyer.
She asks the smiling blonde woman on reception if Rubén is in, but before the woman can even answer, a man – short and stocky with cropped dark hair, a neat gingery beard and deep dimples – rushes over and envelops Berry in a hug.
‘This is Rubén!’ she tells me.
‘This is his hotel!’
He doesn’t look old enough to have a hotel and after haltingly apologising to me that his English isn’t great, he and Berry chat for a couple of minutes in Spanish.
‘He said to order whatever we want,’ Berry tells me, as we head back out to the terrace.
‘On him.’
‘How do you know him?’
‘He was a charter guest a couple of years ago,’ Berry tells me, sliding a bowl of olives across the table to me.
‘Try these – they’re so good.
And then I came to stay here for a couple of nights when I was between yachts.
I didn’t know it was his place, but he remembered me.
And we became friends.
He’s great. I dated his sister for a little while; not so great.
’
I pop an olive in my mouth and bite down.
It’s the best olive I’ve ever tasted.
Berry tells me about some of her previous yachting jobs as I drink my wine and eat too many olives.
There’s a band setting up in the corner of the terrace – just two men with acoustic guitars – and once they start to play, people get up to dance.
We order more drinks and a charcuterie and cheese board and I tell Berry about my siblings, about Mum and Mick, and Maddie.
She asks about Liverpool, about uni, about the small crescent scar on my arm that I wish I could say was from something exciting, but I actually got taking a tray of chicken nuggets out of the oven.
When we’ve finished our food, we order more drinks and Berry says she wants to show me something.
I follow her through reception and into a tiny lift with a wobbly door.
‘Is that a mosquito?’ she says, flinching.
‘I can’t see one.’
‘It is! Hold this.’
She hands me her wine and flaps at the air, trying to kill it.
‘Don’t,’ I tell her.
‘You don’t know where it’s going.
’
‘Straight to hell if I have anything to do with it.’
She claps her hands over her head and groans in frustration when she misses it again.
‘We’re in a hotel,’ I tell her, holding the glasses close to me so she doesn’t inadvertently clap them out of my hands.
‘Maybe he’s a guest. Maybe he’s got a date.
There’s a lady mosquito waiting for him right now.
In a negligee. All perfumed.
’
Berry snorts. ‘Well, she’s shit out of luck.
’ She claps again. ‘She’ll have to find herself a nice firefly or something.
’ She groans in frustration as the lift stops and the doors open.
‘Have a nice evening, sir,’ I tell the empty lift as we step out.
Berry takes her wine back from me, shaking her head.
‘You’re unbelievable.
’
She peers into the glass for a second before huffing out a breath.
‘I was hoping he’d drowned.
’
‘Heartless.’
We’ve arrived at a small, dark landing.
‘Where are we?’ I ask her.
She smiles. ‘Follow me.’
I do.
Along a corridor and through a dark spa room with a massage table and shelves piled high with folded towels.
Berry opens a door, says, ‘Mind the step’ and I follow her out to a small terrace, where sunloungers point towards the glass balustrades.
‘Don’t look yet,’ Berry says.
‘Little bit further.’
I follow her up a short set of stairs to another terrace.
This one also has sunloungers directed towards the glass, but they’re arranged either side of a bright blue plunge pool.
‘Rubén told me there’d be no one up here,’ she tells me.
‘It’s one of my favourite places.
Look.’
She walks around the pool and over to the glass, pointing out towards the marina.
‘Can you see the Serendipity ?’
I can see yachts, but I wouldn’t be able to pick ours out.
Mostly I can see the enormous cruise ships, lit up in red and white, steam drifting from the funnels like abandoned cigarettes.
Berry points to the left.
‘There’s the jetty. So it should be .
. .’ She wafts her hand.
‘Somewhere along there.’
I laugh.
‘Oh yeah, I can see it now.’
A dimple curves in her cheek as she smiles at me.
‘So I thought I’d be able to pick it out and I overestimated myself.
Still cool, though, right?
’
‘Very cool.’
We lean against the balustrade and drink our wine, looking out over the buildings to the water beyond.
I turn and look at the castle, high on the hills behind us, lit up and glowing golden against the navy-blue sky.
‘Thanks for bringing me here,’ I tell her.
‘It’s great.’
‘And the drinks are free!’
She puts her wine down on a small table and unbuttons her shorts, letting them fall to the floor around her feet.
I glance around to make sure no one’s joined us without me noticing.
Or maybe there’s cameras.
Berry pulls her top over her head.
She’s not wearing a bra and I whip my head around to look out over the water again.
‘You not coming in?’
I shake my head.
‘No, no. I’m good.’
Even at this time of night it’s still humid and I would love to get in the pool, but I’m not taking off my clothes and I’m not getting into a tiny pool with an almost naked Berry.
I can still feel her hands on my thighs in my dream.
How wet I was when I woke up.
The water splashes as she lowers herself in.
‘Pass me my wine?’
I do.
And then I toe off my flip-flops and lower myself to the ground next to the pool, dangling my feet in the water.
‘I knew you couldn’t resist,’ Berry grins up at me.
The water is cool but not cold and my swinging feet send ripples across the surface.
Berry lowers her head back, her eyes closed, legs stretched out, breasts just under the surface of the water.
‘We should probably be getting back soon,’ I tell her.
She groans and arches her back.
‘Don’t say that. I could stay here forever.
’
‘You’d prune,’ I tell her.
‘And the mosquitoes would eat me alive. Okay, lemme just . . .’
She leans forward and glides the length of the pool, before flipping over onto her back again.
I finish my wine. Berry rolls over and glides back again, then lifts herself out at the other end of the pool, grabbing a towel from one of the sunloungers.
I swing my legs out of the water, patting them dry before stepping back into my sandals and collecting both our glasses, purposely not looking at Berry.
When I look up, I catch Berry looking at my legs where my damp dress has got stuck high on my thighs.
I don’t pull it back down.
The cab drops us off at the end of the long jetty and we’ve walking towards the boat when someone shouts my name.
I turn to see Adam and Liam getting out of another cab just behind ours.
‘Hey! Where’ve you two been?
’
As they walk towards us, I see Adam stagger, holding his hands out in front as if he’s trying to recapture his balance.
‘Casino,’ Liam says.
Adam sings, the ‘ no, no, no ’ from Amy Winehouse’s ‘Rehab’ and says, ‘To the bar. Great bar.’
‘Apparently!’ I laugh.
‘Did you spend your entire tip?’
He shakes his head slowly, loosely.
‘I did not.’ And then he taps his temple with his finger.
‘Yeah. You’re smart.
’ I smile. ‘Smart and shit-faced.’
The four of us walk along the jetty, Adam occasionally losing his balance and, at one point, reaching for me and saying, ‘Are you happy, Hopey?’
I widen my eyes at him in warning, but it’s probably pointless
when he’s this drunk.
We’re lucky he’s not trying to give me a piggyback or asking me for a snog.
‘I’m very happy. Thank you for asking.
Are you?’
‘I am sound as a pound.’ He laughs.
‘Loads of pounds.’
When we get onto the boat, we have to shush Adam who is now attempting to sing ‘Valerie’ and can’t balance well enough to take his shoes off.
In the mess I get him a glass of water and then Liam helps him up the corridor to his room.
‘They had fun,’ Berry says, smiling, once we’re in our cabin.
‘I did too. Thanks for taking me.’
‘Thanks for coming.’
We smile at each other and I don’t know if it’s the wine or because the cabin is so small or because I can’t stop thinking about her body under the water, but for a second I can’t quite catch my breath.
Berry blinks at me and then says, ‘I’d better shower.
’
I nod. She closes the bathroom door behind her and I pull off my shorts and bra and get into bed in my vest.
I roll onto my side.
Squeeze my eyes shut.
Pull my legs up towards my chest.
I’ve got a crush on Berry. Shit.