Chapter Twenty
We watched the men departing on their rides, manouvering their wheels past the OG Phoenix ones that were still lined up by the gates.
“I think that went well,” Stitch said, slapping Micro’s back as he jumped down from the bench seat, and dragged his hands down his face. The result was him nearly sticking all his fingers literally in his eyes.
“Jesus!”
Ice moved past us, glancing briefly at Micro, before addressing Reacher.
“I’m going to get back. Don’t like the old ladies all there with just a few prospects to protect them.”
“They’re fine,” Reacher insisted, glancing past Ice to Micro, who looked morose as he watched him trying to get away as fast as he could.
“I did what you asked, Pres. I’m not really feeling sticking around.”
“Why the hell do you still have a beef?” I blurted, stepping closer to them, and ignoring everyone else as they milled around, chatted, and randomly headed for the lounge for beers.
“Didn’t invite you into our private conversation, dick.”
I ignored that, because I wanted to fucking know. I was fed up with not being in the know.
“Come on. He’s made amends, you all fucking said it, you all agreed with it. Unlike me, you weren’t the one getting fucking accused of the shit he was doing, so I’ll ask again, what’s your beef?”
“Rocket,” Reacher murmured, shaking his head at me. I guess he felt I’d said enough already, and he wasn’t exactly wrong, was he?
“Yeah, I fuck everything up when I open my mouth, I know, but seriously. I’m sure we’re all as fucking curious. Why do you get to keep holding a grudge when literally everyone else forgave him? His victims did. You weren’t one of them, so what the fuck?”
Ice glared at me, then past me at Micro.
“I don’t owe you a fucking thing, do I? I don’t owe him anything either.
I will always back this club and my colours, but him?
He attacked my fucking woman. My old lady.
His own fucking sister! What if he’d touched her up, huh?
What if he’d fucking raped her? HIS SISTER! ”
Micro cursed, heading over to try and speak to Ice, while the man himself glared at all of us in turn.
“You all keep forgiving this shit, but people died. Lissa could have died. She’s my fucking world, and he nearly took her away.
I don’t think you people realise just how fucking important she is.
Without her, I’d be dead. Jesus. Without her, I will be dead.
There’s no version of life for me that doesn’t include her, so if he’d killed her, I’d have ended myself too. ”
He was breathing hard by the time he finished speaking, but we all got the gist of it, and he cursed, rubbing a hand over his buzzcut hair, his breath leaving him in a rush.
“Wow. I just said all that, huh?” He glanced at Reacher, who looked horrified, and concerned, and he patted the older man’s chest.
“Don’t worry, Pres. I’m not saying I’m suicidal now. Maybe I was back then. She was the only one keeping me alive, I guess. I don’t think I even realised how much I rely on her, but it’s true. She’s my everything.”
Micro lifted his hands in front of him, placating a man who could just as easily attack.
“I can’t ever apologise enough. I know it was all fucked up and wrong, and I wish I could undo it.
Finding out who she was, after the fact, after I nearly fucking hurt her…
Jesus, it was like ice down my spine, like it made me realise at last just how fucked up everything I did was.
I think it was the first shot of reality.
I think… I mean, I can’t ever make up for it, but I’m grateful to her for giving me a chance.
Hell, she saved me too, in so many ways. ”
“This is really heartwarming and all, but can I go?” Ice was looking at Reacher again, who looked like he wanted to knock some sense into him now.
“Ice…”
“I get it. He’s sorry. He can say it a million times, but I’m not just going to suddenly forgive him. I need more time. I think maybe one day, maybe. Not today. Not now.”
Reacher waved him off, and flagged Ryder over, who was followed by Has-Been.
“Make sure he gets home safe.” They both made for their rides too, and I looked sheepishly from Reacher to Micro.
“So uh… I’m gonna keep my fucking trap shut now. It’s long overdue, right?”
“It all needed to be said,” Micro said quietly, watching our brothers leaving, a wistful look on his face. I could see he missed everyone, and knew he’d made his bed. He couldn’t just go back, because no matter how many times he apologised, it’d never undo a damn thing.
“You’ve done your best, son. If anyone’s still bearing a grudge, that’s not on you,” Reacher said, using a fatherly tone he’d never fucking used with me.
I could try to not feel bitter about that, but it was hard not to.
I’d never done the things Micro had, I never would, and yet I was never treated like a son by him.
Was it something I wanted? I had no idea.
“I’m uh… I’m sorry for causing so much trouble,” I said, backing away from them, because I’d opened my mouth too many fucking times in the last few days, and I could have destroyed everything.
As it was, two bikers walked away from the club today.
Turned in their cuts, and walked. Decided that the Phoenix ethos was made a fucking mockery of by the things Micro confessed to, and then the rest of the club backed him for. Fuck them if they wanna be quitters.
“Rocket?”
I turned to see Micro following me, and was that wise? That was how this all fucking started, right?
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
The fuck? Was he really thanking me for derailing his life? Or had we fallen into a parallel universe?
“Huh? Why?”
He shrugged, tucking his hands in his pockets, and looking like a sheepish schoolboy.
“I think I’ve known for a while that it needed to happen, but I didn’t have the balls to risk it.
You pushed me over the edge I’ve been kinda tiptoeing around for a while, and I think it was a good thing.
” He glanced over his shoulder, and I followed his eyeline, catching sight of Reacher watching us as he spoke to Stitch.
“I’ve been waiting for the axe to fall, you know?
Someone finding out, and it all going to shit.
I’ve been waiting to lose it all, because I know I’ll never deserve it.
I can never atone enough to deserve Soph, and the baby, or all of this.
But I guess now I know that there are enough good guys around me to give me that chance.
So thanks. You forced me to suck it up and own up to my shit, and now it’s out there. It’s not a secret anymore.”
“We lost two guys though.” I had no idea why I was pointing that out, when he was basically giving me an out here.
“Yeah. Guess they weren’t Phoenix material. Better we know that now, instead of when we might need to lean on them.”
He nodded to himself. “Anyway, thanks.” He stepped closer and reached out to shake hands, dragging me into a bro hug.
“Sorry I made life harder for you back there, but I’m glad you’re here now.
” He walked back to Reacher and I stared after him, wondering how the fuck he just made me feel like an even bigger cunt.
How the hell could I justify hating a guy who was that fucking decent?
V
Harley showed up to bring Caroline a spare helmet, and check on her, eventually leading her away and leaving me alone once more.
I’d messaged Rocket to see if he was okay, but there was no response, so for some reason, once I’d finished my shift, I got in my car and headed straight to the club.
Believe it or not, I was worried about him.
There was a different prospect at the gate, and he leaned over it to stare at me.
“Think you’re lost, love.”
“Think you better let me in, dick. I’m here to see Rocket.”
He scratched his head, glancing behind him, and someone must have given him the go ahead, because he shrugged and pulled the gate back, waving me on, while I responded with a middle finger. I was worried, and cranky, and he just tried my last nerve.
“Bitch,” he cussed out as he started closing the gate again.
“Prospect. My office,” Micro barked at him as he approached my car, and I turned the engine off. I shoved the door open and Micro leaned on it to talk to me.
“He’s in his room, V. Not sure he’s doing great though.”
I gestured to him to let me out, and he backed up, closing the door for me with a dull thud. He looked exhausted, so I didn’t grumble when he leaned back against my car. He looked like he needed the prop.
“You okay?” I asked him, and his eyes widened a touch.
“Me? Yeah, I mean, I’m supposed to say I’m fine, right?”
I shrugged, grabbing at my bag strap as it tried to slide down for the third time. Fucking thing.
“You can say what you want. I’m not a shrink. Just… are things okay? Like are you okay?”
He grinned. “Didn’t expect so much support from my brothers, but maybe that’s because I needed to feel it first. I don’t think I deserve it, don’t think I ever will, but it was… appreciated.”
He straightened up and cracked his knuckles on both fists. “Still, I get to correct a Prospect’s behaviour right now, so that’ll help.”
“For his insult to me?”
He nodded, rolling his shoulders a little like he was about to go beat the hell out of him. Yikes.
“Well, thanks. Tell him he’s got shit hair too.”
Micro blinked at me for half a second, and laughter burst from him, surprising both of us.
Maybe he needed it, but it was infectious, so I joined in.
Laughter’s a funny thing, pun not intended.
It seems to shake a lot of stress away, and makes you feel lighter, warmer, and happier all at once. Maybe we both needed that.
“I’ll do that,” Micro said with a grin as he started to move, “go tell Rocket he’s all good, yeah? I’m actually grateful to him for what happened. Ice may not feel the same, but he’s a prick.”
Ice? Oh, was he the angry looking one the other day? I used to be good with names, but there were so many of them that it’d take me a while… I mean, if I was intending to spend more time around them. Was that what would happen? Who the hell knows.
I waved to him and headed for Rocket’s room, tapping briefly on the door before I pushed it open. Nixie yapped her hello at me, and Rocket glared at me from his bed. He wasn’t doing anything untoward like jerking off, but he looked like I’d disturbed him nonetheless.
“Wow, don’t you look pissy,” I said lightly, stepping into the room and pushing the door closed, moving over to crouch beside Nixie and cuddle her.
“Why are you here, V?”
Ouch. I don’t know why that hurt so much when he said it.
“Well, I thought I’d check on you because of all the shit you were going through, but I can fuck off if you want,” I said sharply as I stood up, still cuddling the sweet puppy.
Rocket cursed, dragging a hand down his face as he stood up. He stalked over to me and lifted Nixie out of my arms, setting her back down. He was going to throw me out. He was literally throwing me out, and I wanted to argue, but suddenly silence was all I had. Where were my words?
His lips crashed against mine, and he backed me up against the wall, catching my hands as they pressed against his chest in a simple, basic reaction to being trapped.
He set them gently on his shoulders, and pressed tighter against me, his tongue surging against mine as I let him in, giving in to the emotional reaction from him.
My hands slid up to his face, brushing against the slight bristly texture of his unshaven skin.
It was a surprise, and had me pulling back just a touch to look at him again.
He was always so perfectly clean shaven that this felt like a cry for help.
“Oh god, are you okay?”
“Am now,” he murmured as his lips met mine again, and all other words disappeared again as I let him show me how he was feeling instead of telling me.
His hips pressed against mine, rocking lightly as he devoured my lips, and I could feel it.
The hard ridge of his cock, trapped in those jeans, when it should be inside me.
I dug my nails into Rocket’s neck, and he groaned, kissing me harder, hooking a hand under my left leg, and pulling it up over his hip, driving his trapped cock against me, sending shivers up from my core.
How was it that, before now, nobody had made me feel like that from just a fucking kiss and a little dry humping?
“Fucking hell… want you…” he murmured, his lips dragging against my jaw as he tugged harder against my leg. His mouth brushed against my earlobe, sending a tingling shiver over my skin in response.
“Wanna get naked?”
Giggling in this moment was probably wrong, but felt right. He was being cute, even though he was intense and agitated, and it somehow felt like exactly who he was. The person he hid and the person he revealed.
“Naked sounds good,” I finally whispered back, sinking my teeth into his earlobe as he groaned again.
“Gonna bury myself so deep inside you that I-”
“Not getting naked for words, Rocket. Shut up and do it.”
He laughed, leaning back to mock-glare at me, then he moved rapidly, lifting me and turning to the bed, walking us there, and dropping me down, his body landing firmly on top of mine.
“I’ll word you if I want, babe. You’ll still get my cock.”
I pressed my fingers over his lips and shook my head. “Shut up and fuck me, Rocket.”