Chapter Twenty-Two
Ihad no idea why I was so into this, why I was willing to fucking get a woman pregnant, but maybe it was a full circle thing.
I’d thought I’d be a father, but it was all bull.
This time, I was aware, I was going into it fully understanding what was happening.
I was making the choice. I was choosing fatherhood.
Choosing it with a woman who was fast becoming my every waking thought.
Someone I could trust, someone I could rely on.
Someone who’d never hurt me like I’d been hurt before, because she’d been there too. She knew. She understood.
“Yeah, babe… take it deeper, that’s it… ohhh… can you feel that? I’m fucking owning you with this cock.”
“Shhhh… I’m gagging you next time, Rocket.
” Next time. Fuck yeah, there’d be a next time.
And a time after that, and so on, because making a baby takes practice.
It takes time. Most people aren’t lucky enough for it to happen the first time.
For me, the luck was in having to do it more often.
Who the hell doesn’t want more sex, right?
I literally felt a tingle down my spine as I came, not because of that being where I normally feel sensation when I come, because let’s be honest, I feel that in my fucking junk. No, this was because this might be more important than just getting off. This might be the moment that life is created.
I don’t know if V even got off with me, so I reached down to stroke her clit, circling it as I held myself deep inside her, grinning as she started to gasp again.
I leaned on one elbow, staying fully connected with her, while I teased and caressed her clit, and when she erupted, hell, I feel like if I’d had anything left in me, I’d have come again.
She was even more beautiful in these unguarded moments.
When she didn’t have to put on a front or hide behind her walls.
She was just free, and stunningly at peace.
Pity she couldn’t always feel like that, but life sucks most of the time.
This moment was just one of the times when it really fucking didn’t.
“Wow,” she breathed, sagging back against my bedding, a fine sheen of sweat over her face and breasts. I leaned down, dragging my tongue up the centre of her chest, between those sweet perky tits, and yeah, her skin was salty and heated. So fucking sexy.
“Give me half an hour and we can do that again,” I suggested, because fuck me, I’d do it a million times in one day if I could. Probably get chafed to fuck though.
V eyed me warily. “Again? I think you broke me, Rocket.”
I grinned, moving to lean some of my weight on her, as my elbows either side of her head bore the rest.
I lightly traced her cheeks, lifting strands of hair away from her damp skin, wondering how the fuck I got so lucky that I found a good one.
A decent one. A woman who fucking cared so fiercely, and had so much heart.
She’d had hers beaten and bruised like I did, but she’d kept so much love and trust for the next guy to try and be worthy of her. Me. I was hoping I was that guy.
“You don’t want more of my cock?” I asked, keeping things light and brazen, while I wanted to say other things. More feeling things. Things that told her too much about how I was feeling right now. It wasn’t just the sex hormones or whatever. It was something that’d been building for a while.
A soft yap from Nixie made us both laugh, both sounding out of breath, but I saw that wariness creeping back into V’s eyes, felt a little distance slipping between us, as her walls started rebuilding right in front of me. Brick by brick. Shutting out what we’d just been sharing.
“Don’t, V,” I practically begged, but that seemed to just slam them right back in place. Full and strong, blocking me out again, as if that intimacy, that fucking closeness, hadn’t just happened.
“I uh… can you let me up?”
Reluctantly I backed up, easing carefully from inside her, and checking to make sure our babymaking efforts weren’t going to waste.
“I… god, I feel weird now. Was this weird?”
I shook my head as I sat back and let her move, watching as she pulled away from me, and pulled the bedding around her, hiding all that sweet flesh from my eyes.
I scratched my jaw, looking over to check on Nixie who’d gone back to chewing her toy, her eyes firmly on us. Had she watched? That was creepy, right? Poor thing. She’d have nightmares.
“Do you regret it, V?”
She was silent, and when I turned to look at her again, she was staring at the bedding.
“Honestly?”
Fuck me, no, I’d rather she’d lie to me if she was about to break my heart, but I wanted the truth. Needed it, even.
“Probably,” I said instead, wondering if the truth would hurt more.
“Honestly no. I don’t regret it. I don’t regret a second of it.” What? I watched her lift her head, shoving her hair out of her face, and tucking it behind her ear with a hint of impatience.
“You don’t?”
“Do you?” The vulnerability on her face made me want to hold her, but her body language was still telling me to stay back right now.
Maybe this was just how a person reacted when they were treated properly, after being hurt and mistreated.
I had no idea. I was mostly used to being the one being rejected or abused.
“Hell no,” I said finally, and some of the tension left her shoulders, as she relaxed back against the headboard a little, tugging the bedding right up to her collarbone.
“Good. Uh… is there heating in here?” Oh.
“Jesus. Of course you’re cold. Yeah, lemme get it.” I dragged out the small halogen heater and aimed it at the bed, warning her to avert her eyes so I didn’t blind her with it.
“Wow. Cutting edge tech, Rocket.”
I grinned at her as I joined her back on the bed. “I don’t really feel the cold, so it didn’t bother me that the place doesn’t have heating. I mean, I have blankets, right?”
“What about Nixie?” I glanced at my baby girl again.
“She has a fur coat, babe. Besides, she generally sleeps with me anyway.”
I got up and slipped my underwear back on, crouching down to collect Nixie and bring her to the bed, her soft furry body against my chest.
“See? She’s okay.”
I passed her to V, and then climbed into the bed beside her, pulling her against me, with one arm around her. She snuggled against me, a soft moan of pleasure leaving her sweet lips.
“Oh my god. You really are like a heater.”
See? Sometimes even the most useless unwanted men have a purpose. If mine’s to keep her and Nixie warm, I’ll take it. If it’s to give her the baby she’s always wanted, then I accept that duty too. Pretty sure I’d accept anything if it made her happy.
V
We fell asleep for a while, but when we woke, it was only early afternoon and we were both starving, so we dressed again and took Nixie with us as we headed back out to get food. Rocket did offer to send a prospect, but honestly the room smelled a bit like a sex club, and I needed the fresh air.
“Hey, you guys off out?”
Rocket groaned beside me as Micro waved at us.
“He said to tell you he’s grateful by the way, for pushing him to own up or whatever. He’s happy it happened.”
“Bully for him,” Rocket murmured, pausing by my car as Micro joined us.
“Not with Soph?” He asked his President, while I unlocked the car.
“Heading there again in a mo. Just met with a few guys who wanted to talk over the shit I announced today. Not the past stuff. The upcoming demo and rebuild.” I didn’t know they’d announced something else too, but Rocket just nodded in response.
“Few of us need to find somewhere to live, huh. Gotta be honest, I’m hoping the new place has windows, and heating. Oh… and do we get our own bathrooms?”
Micro snorted. “We’ll get the plans up in Church, and you guys can all take a look. It’ll be pretty plush. Reacher’s already getting jealous.”
They both chuckled over that, but my attention was diverted, by something that seemed out of place. Something bright and colourful amid black and silver shiny metal. I took a few steps, and cupped a hand over my mouth.
“Whose is… oh god, Rocket… isn’t that your bike?”
He stepped around me, let out a string of curses and stomped over to his motorcycle, fiddling with the large purple dildo that seemed to be tied to the rear part behind his seat. Oh. Where his female passenger would sit. Was it aimed at me?
Laughter filled the air around us, and Rocket lifted his head, his eyes fixing on one of the guys.
“Did you fucking do this?”
The guy shook his head, and flicked his eyes to his left. Grease. Oh god no.
“You fucking cunt!” Rocket abandoned what I was now realising was a strap-on, tethered firmly in place, and marched right at the smug bastard, who was grinning widely, like this was exactly what he’d hoped for.
“Hey, don’t be too hard on him. That’s obviously his strap-on, which means either he doesn’t have a dick, or he likes his girlfriend to fuck him,” I pointed out, and silence fell, followed by random chuckles as Grease’s smile dropped from his face in an instant.
“Hey, fuck you!”
Rocket roared with fury, leaping at him as Micro facepalmed beside me and started walking toward them, ordering other guys to pull them apart.
The pretty little redhead I’d seen around before, who someone called Jay, took one look at the scuffling, shook her head and started on her way to me.
“What set them off this time?”
I backed up a step and gestured to the new modification on Rocket’s motorcycle, which honestly was pretty funny, even if it was some kind of snide gesture aimed at me.
“What the fuck! GREASE!”
They were in the process of pulling the guys apart when he lifted his head, spotted her, and groaned.
“No, little pain. He deserved it. He’s a fucking prick, who-”
“Is that what I think it is?”
Panic filled his face as he shook the others off him and charged in her direction, grabbing her and slamming a hand over her mouth as he backed them both away.
“Look, I was just messing with him. He deserves a little fucking with because he’s a dick,” he explained, a little grin suddenly appearing as he snatched his hand away from his woman’s mouth.
“I love it when you bite me, little pain.”
She opened her mouth to say something and he laughed. “Nope.” He literally slung her over his shoulder, and started marching away to the dorm building, while a few people groaned or laughed, and Rocket joined me again.
“Sorry about this, V. He thinks it’s funny, but it really isn’t.”
He dug a small knife out of his pocket and sawed through the straps, tossing the offending object to Micro who held it by the strap, between two fingers, with a grimace.
“Ugh, what if it’s been used?”
“Yeah, on Grease. You saw that, he was shutting her up before she could let on.”
I ignored them, catching Rocket’s arm, and turning him to me, which was awkward with Nixie tucked against my chest with the other hand.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s actually pretty funny, when you think about it.”
Rocket’s glare landed on me, and he lifted an eyebrow.
“The joke’s on him, Rocket. I don’t need the training wheels, when I have the real thing right here. That little thing there? Nothing near what you’re packing.”
“Ugh. I need to start wearing ear plugs,” Micro murmured as he walked away, still carrying the strap-on gingerly by the severed strap.
Laughter followed, but whether it was from what he said or what I said, I didn’t care.
“Rocket, look at me. It was just a prank, but it’s okay. Let’s move on, okay? I’m hungry, and you promised me a late lunch.”
He followed me back to my car.
“Don’t remember that.”
“Right after you tried knocking me up.”
“Jesus, V!” He practically shoved me into my own car, swiping Nixie from my arms as we moved.
Was he embarrassed? Ashamed? Didn’t he want anyone to know we’d been sleeping together?
Maybe for him this was nothing more than a little fuckbuddy thing, and he’d simply cast me aside when he found someone new.
Then again, was I really wondering about our future together after one ‘date’?
I wasn’t ready for a relationship, if I’d ever be, and he was probably the last kind of man I should go for.
He was tying my mind in knots, my heart too.
Was I just rebounding all over the poor guy?
What if we really got pregnant? Was there ever going to be a future?
Was he just giving me the gift of his sperm, without planning to even see his child?
Oh my god. This was screwing with my head.
“You gonna start the damn car, woman?”
I flipped him off, and did just that, heading for the gate and that same prospect, who seemed to have a black eye that I took particular pleasure in seeing. I hope it knocked some manners into him.