Chapter Twenty-Six
Even sex with her was borderline antagonistic, and I loved it. I loved everything about our moments together, all of them, even the simple things, like eating together, or watching a show.
Was it love? I was beginning to think that was exactly what it was. Could she feel it too? Was she feeling it at all?
I started thrusting up into her, as she ground down on my cock, and fuck me, that’s how a man dies happy. After all, isn’t an orgasm called a ‘little death’? I feel like it’s gonna be a big death this time.
“She… can… see me…” V gasped out, trying to look over her shoulder, so I threaded my fingers through her hair, and dragged her against my chest, holding her in place so I could fuck up into her while she just fucking took it.
Her breaths were wheezing out of her, and I figured out she wanted to be released when she bit me, right over my fucking collarbone, and that nip of pain sent me over the edge, my hands returning to her hips to hold her tight against me as I filled her with cum.
I took the opportunity to grind her against me, moving my hips a little to work my cock inside of her, as I painted it with that babymaking juice, and her sweet body locked up and she nearly toppled back as her orgasm crested, and she lost her balance.
Catching her was easy. Instinctive. I’d always fucking catch her. Always protect her. Always save her.
“Oh god,” V gasped, as I pulled her back down on my chest again, and she held onto me as she panted in ragged breaths.
“Yep. That’s me. Whoa, nope, not moving yet, babe. Gotta keep you plugged with my cock, so that cum stays right up in there.”
She made a mock gagging sound, but relaxed against me once more.
I liked her like this, maybe loved her even, because her defences were back down, and she was just herself.
No walls, no wariness, no aggression, although I loved that part too.
She was just relaxed. Calm. That’s how I knew when her mind started intruding again, feeling her muscles starting to tense again, as if she didn’t just get her fucking world rocked, and deserve a little chill time.
“Nope,” I murmured as she tried again to sit up.
“Rocket,” she whined in response, trying to break my hold, but you know what?
I locked my fucking arms around her and kept her with me, against me, with me still inside her.
My cock wasn’t going to stay put much longer, softening and sliding slowly back out of her, but it wasn’t even about the baby thing right now.
It was about enjoying her closeness, and wanting more of it.
“I’d threaten to bite you again, but you seemed to like it.”
I grinned, nuzzling her hair softly.
“That was fucking hot. Bite me anytime… I mean, not on my cock obviously. I like him all in one piece, and so do you.”
“I need to sit up. My hip’s locking on me.” Her hip?
I released her and she pushed back up to sit astride me, rubbing her right hip gently.
“Did I hurt it?”
Her eyes met mine as a soft giggle escaped her lips.
“No, silly. I just haven’t ridden a biker or anyone in a long while. Maybe I should limber up next time.”
Fuck me. How hot would it be to watch her stretching and warming up her body so we could fuck?
“You’re picturing it, and being a perv. I can tell.”
“You read me a little too well sometimes.”
V arched her back and dragged her fingers through her long hair, sending it over her shoulders and down her back. Part of me wanted it twice as long so I’d feel it brushing against my skin too.
“You wanna know what’s weird?” I asked her, as my snarky bastard side kicked back in.
“No, not really.”
That wasn’t really the answer I was looking for, but I could work with it.
“It’s just… you were so weirded out about Nixie watching you, and yet now you’re putting on a goddess show for her.”
V gasped, slamming her arms over her chest as she turned to look at Nixie, who just so happened to be looking right at us.
“Oh my god! Her poor little mind will be traumatised!”
She slid off me and pulled the covers around her, while I chuckled, and helped her tuck herself in against my side.
She leaned into me for a long moment, several minutes, maybe, while we just lay with each other, our bodies calm and cooling again.
“Bastard.”
I grinned, sliding my fingers through that soft hair of hers as she sighed against me.
“I like to think of myself as ‘cute’.”
She opened her mouth to argue, and then, before I could even try to silence her, she just relaxed again.
“I can agree to cute.”
Fuck yeah.
We fell asleep wrapped around each other like that, until Nixie woke us about an hour later, wanting a wee, and to sleep on the bed. I liked it like that. The two of us curled up in bed together, with our little dog sleeping beside us. Family. Something I’d longed for my entire fucking life.
Ever heard the expression about people waking up on the wrong side of the bed? I swear something was bugging V from the second she woke up, and I had no idea what it was.
“Babe, lemme go get us some coffee. You stay there.” Oh yeah, as in she wasn’t even out of the bed yet, and already cranky.
She was shaking her head at me, dragging her hands over her face with exhaustion.
“No. I’m supposed to be working this morning, and I’ll barely get there on time as it is.”
I felt like she was blaming me for that, but was I holding her here against her will all fucking night?
“So go then. Jesus, I’m not stopping you.”
She dragged herself from the bed, and started throwing her clothes on, muttering about how she had to get home and shower before work, because this place was a shithole, yada yada.
“Fuck’s sake, V! What’s your problem?!”
She paused with her jacket half on, glaring at me like I’d fucked up her life rather than giving her the ride of it.
“You wouldn’t understand, Rocket. I’m… I just need to get out of here.”
Whoa. I started throwing clothes on too, wincing as I caught bruises, and stretched parts of me that got overworked or injured in the fight.
“Get out of here? What, like it’s such a fucking hellhole? Or is it me? Is it me you want rid of?”
She chewed her lip, glancing at the door, as if she was planning to run. Fuck me. That was it. She was done with me. How the fuck did we go from that closeness last night to this?
“I don’t get it. What did I do wrong?” I already felt like I sounded like I was begging, and I hated that. She was scaring me. She was making me feel like I wasn’t good enough, and I didn’t need reminders of that. I already fucking knew it as a fact.
“Babe?”
V swallowed hard, zipping her jacket up, and tucking her hands in the pockets.
“I’m not saying anything is wrong. I’m just… this is… I literally just got out of a relationship, a long term one, that destroyed me when it ended. This is… we’re moving so fast, and I’m not-”
She wasn’t exactly wrong, but it still felt like a shit-ton of tiny knives getting stabbed into my heart. The woman I was falling for wasn’t sure about being with me. Maybe I really was the rebound guy, and I’d stupidly convinced myself of it being more than that.
“V…”
She tugged her hand out of her pocket, her phone in it, buzzing quietly. Was it her alarm? I had no fucking idea, but she scowled at it and swiped the screen, silencing it.
“Problem?”
She sighed, walking over to me, and cupping my face in both hands. Her eyes were so sad, like she was already done with this, with us, and I was just the idiot clinging to something that was never real.
“I just need time, Rocket. I moved here to start afresh, and jumped straight into… into whatever this is that we’re doing.
I don’t want to hurt you, or lead you on.
I’m still… I don’t know, learning who I am without Ted.
Learning how to do everything alone again.
Maybe I need that. Maybe I need to learn independence again. ”
Well, fuck me. That was pretty fucking clear, so why was I ready to beg her to reconsider? Because I’m a pussy, that’s why.
“Babe, I’m falling in love with you.”
V’s eyes squeezed closed, and a tear slid down her cheek. For the record, when you tell someone you love them, that’s not what you’re looking for. Happy tears maybe, but this didn’t look like those.
“Please. Just give me some time. I don’t want to hurt you, Rocket.
” She backed away, digging her keys out of her other pocket, while I watched her leave me.
She doesn’t want to hurt me? Too fucking late.
Yet again I’d been discarded by a woman who clearly never saw me as her future.
And this time hurt a million times more, because what I felt for her was off the charts.
I wasn’t falling in love. I was in love.
Deeply in fucking love. With someone who really didn’t seem to feel the same way, or maybe didn’t want to.
We’d gone from trying to create life, to destroying mine.
I cleared my throat against the throb of pain welling there.
“And what if… what if it worked? What if our baby is already growing?”
V rested a hand over her stomach, taking a long slow breath, even though she seemed calm as fuck as she destroyed me.
“If it worked, and that’s a long shot, then we’ll discuss it. I wouldn’t keep you from your child, no matter what happened with us.”
She left the room, and I dropped down on my ass on the bed, my head dropping into my hands.
How the fuck did that just happen? Last night she came here to support me, to look after me.
We were so close. The intimacy felt so real and permanent, and now?
Now, I was alone again. Probably destined to always be that way.
V