21. Suzie
Suzie
~ T hree months later
Being pregnant wasn’t as fun as some people made it seem. Who were these women, with glowing skin and wide smiles, looking wonderfully happy as if their nipples weren’t chafed and they didn’t have to pee every thirty minutes? I felt as though I was failing the Pregnancy Olympics, with my ill-fitting clothes, constant sickness, and general bad mood.
But despite all that, I couldn’t feel anything but happy that my baby was growing and healthy, according to all the preliminary tests.
What I felt less happy about was the people of Jackson’s Ridge wagging their jaws, taking wagers, and trying to guess the father of my visibly growing child. The whole town was talking, and their curiosity was piqued even more because I wasn’t. I hadn’t said a peep about the father’s identity, no matter how much the older ladies bribed me with pies and cookies, house cleaning, massages, or even future babysitting services, all for just a hint of the father’s identity.
They would lose their collective minds if I actually uttered the name “Gavin Ross” out loud. I wouldn’t, of course, because the last thing I wanted was to do anything to hurt him or his career, which meant mum was the word, forever and ever. Amen.
A knock sounded on the door, yanking me from my ping-ponging thoughts. I sighed in relief, happy to be rid of thoughts of town gossip and Gavin, at least for a moment. I took a deep breath and glanced at the clock, wondering who would show up at my door unannounced on a Saturday afternoon. Persy was busy with Ryan and Titus. Megan and Casey were out of town, Hannah was busy building some surprise in her garage all weekend, and Teddy and Cal were probably deep in the midst of wedding planning. That was my social circle in a nutshell, so I peeked through the security hole and frowned as I pulled open the front door.
“Granddaddy. What are you doing here?”
I hadn’t seen Gavin’s grandfather in more than a month and I figured he’d finally gone back home. But here he stood, in khaki pants and a Hawaiian print shirt, accompanied by a big bright smile.
“Haven’t seen you in a hot minute, figured ambushing you was the only way to get a minute of face time with you.”
I sighed and took a step back, feeling guilty at his words. “I assumed you went back to California. It didn’t occur to me you might want to stay so long without your grandson.” Zola worked long hours for her fellowship, so I imagined he was pretty lonely most days.
“Nonsense. This town has tons of activities for the silver-haired crowd. I’m busier now than I have been since I retired. Throw in the fresh ocean air and the hot toddies looking to make me a meal or two, and I have nothing to complain about. Nothing at all.”
“I’m sorry, Granddaddy. I didn’t mean to abandon you. Come on in.”
“You did, but that’s all right. It’s not like I haven’t heard the town gossip, but I have enough inside knowledge to put one and one together and figure out that little bump at your midsection is my great-grandchild.”
There wasn’t any point in lying to him but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words out loud, so I notched my chin high in the air, defiance coloring my tone.
“I don’t know who the father is.”
One silver brow arched in question. “Want to try that again, young lady?”
I nodded as I shoulders slumped forward. “I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you.” My swollen feet couldn’t take another minute of standing and I dropped down on the sofa with a sigh.
Granddaddy dropped down beside me, leaving a foot of space between us. “I know my grandson, and I know his faults better than anyone in the world, believe me. But he’s not cruel or callous, so why would you keep this information from him?”
“I know he’s not,” I shot back, feeling defensive. “But I also know that his career means everything to him.” It was why he was so good at his craft, so passionate about his every lyric, every melody.
Granddaddy shook his head and leaned back on the sofa. “That’s because Gavin can’t imagine another life where he’s something other than a rock star. The center of the universe.” His smile was bittersweet. “He felt abandoned by his parents even though he was the one who left. They couldn’t get it together, couldn’t get over themselves and their hate for one another to provide a stable, loving home for the boy. He pretends to be over it, but I know he’s not.”
“None of us are over our childhoods.” But I had a hospital to run and a baby to care for, I didn’t have time to babysit a grown man who ran as soon as things got a little too real. “I understand, Granddaddy. Believe me, I do.”
“But you’re still not gonna tell him about the baby you’re carrying?”
“No.” I’d had months to think about it and I had no desire to revisit this mental argument. “I knew what I was getting into when I started my little affair with Gavin. It was temporary. Fleeting. And, yeah, if I thought for a moment or two that there was something more between us, the way he left told me I was wrong.”
“That’s just his way.”
“Granddaddy,” I said, a little firmer than I meant to, “I thought he and I were, at the very least, friends. But we weren’t any of that. I was wrong and I have to live with that, which I’m trying to do. I’m not punishing Gavin, I’m simply preserving my own peace and letting him live the life he obviously wants.”
I never wanted to be one of those women who tried to force a man to change or give up his dreams if he wasn’t ready. It would only lead to tears, heartache, and disaster. Mostly for me.
“The life he thinks he wants,” he qualified. “Just give him a chance.”
“I did that, and he left town without so much as a goodbye to his good buddy Suzie.”
“That damn slick agent with the greasy hair,” Aaron growled, and I laughed at his misplaced anger.
“Hey, that slickster is why your grandson is so famous and rich, well regarded in his field.”
“Yeah, well, that ain’t everything. He won’t always be famous, and then where will he be? What will he have?”
“Not me and my child as a consolation prize,” I whispered. As much as I regretted saying it, I couldn’t deny the truth of my words. “Granddaddy Aaron, Gavin’s career is everything to him. You may think he wants more, or you may want him to want more, but he’s exactly where he wants to be. And I get that. I really do.”
His eyes flashed with acknowledgment, followed by mischief. “You love him.”
“I do not,” I insisted.
“You do. That’s why you won’t tell him, won’t force him to choose.”
“There is no choice,” I shot back because it was the absolute truth. “He made his choice once and I have no doubt he’d make it again.”
Aaron shook his head. “But this is a child we’re talking about. A wee little baby.”
Not something as insignificant as a woman. “I’m aware.”
He grumbled to himself for a long time before he let out a resigned sign. “I don’t agree with your choice, but I will respect it for now. If you need anything, Suzie, I’ll be here for a while longer.”
I blinked at his change in demeanor. “Jackson’s Ridge pulling you under its spell?”
“Something like that. Getting to know Zola and enjoying all the ways a man of a certain age has to keep busy.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I had no doubt most of those ways involved the single, widowed, and divorced senior women of Jackson’s Ridge.
“Thanks, Granddaddy Aaron. I’m grateful to know you.” I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him, feeling suddenly emotional. “You’re the only grandparent this child will have.”
It was a thought that made me sad, thinking of just how little family there was to love my baby.
I quickly shook it off. It wasn’t true. I had a big family here in Jackson’s Ridge. They weren’t blood, not even Drew, but they loved me like we were related, and that meant they would love my baby the same way.
“You say that now, but I’m a bossy son of a gun when I want to be.” He let out a loud rumbling laugh and I joined in.
“That’s okay, I am, too.”
He laughed again. “Poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Good. And I want you to know that I have no plans on missing out on seeing this little one grow up for as long as I have left on this earth. No matter what Gavin chooses to do, I plan to enjoy being a great-granddaddy.”
“Thank you, Aaron. I needed to hear that.”
“Well, all right, then,” he said and stepped away from the emotional, teary-eyed pregnant woman. “I needed to say it. Now, I have to go, it’s bingo night and I’m trying to get me a goodnight smooch.”
“From anyone in particular?”
“Just a pretty girl.” He dropped a peck on my cheek and shuffled off, busy living it up in this small slice of heaven.