26. Gavin
Gavin
I did everything I could think of to make Suzie’s life easier, determined that she would forgive me—at least—before I was due back in Los Angeles. For two days, I made sure she didn’t have to worry about anything but her job and basic self-care, and between making phone calls, I spent my time in the studio.
Granddaddy and Zola had already settled into the fabric of Jackson’s Ridge, leaving me the odd man out in my own home.
Until a loud knock sounded at the studio door.
“Gavin Ross, open up this damn door!”
I smiled at the sound of Suzie’s voice. Her angry voice.
“I know you’re in there, so open up right this minute.”
I took my time, setting my guitar to the side so it rested on the side of the plush sofa before I got up and slowly walked over to the door. Wiping my hands on the thighs of my jeans, I sighed and opened the door.
“Suzie. This is a nice surprise.”
She rolled her eyes, which were filled with fire behind her wine-colored eyeglasses, and she gave my chest a giant shove. “Don’t give me that wide-eyed innocent look. I’m immune to it, and more importantly, I know better.”
I refused to even touch that. “What brings you by, Suzie Q?”
She whirled at the sound of her nickname, fire blazing in her eyes.
“Gavin,” she sighed, “you need to stop.”
I blinked. “Stop what?”
“All of this… whatever it is you think you’re doing by sending me flowers and food and housekeepers.”
“Ohhhh,” I said, drawing the word out to about five syllables. “You want me to stop making your life easier in any way that I can. Got it. Why?”
“Because I don’t need you to do this stuff. I can’t get used to you stepping in to help while you’re in town.”
“Because you think I’m on the next train out?”
Suzie blinked and notched her chin high in the air, defiance radiating off her as she folded her arms across her chest. “Yes. I need to be able to stand on my own, to do this on my own. I appreciate the gestures, but they’re counter-productive and completely unnecessary.”
“Completely. Unnecessary.” I uttered the words back to her. They were bitter on my tongue and I wanted to shout at Suzie, but she looked tired and pregnant. Exhausted, really. “I disagree. I get that I screwed up and it’s partially my fault that you’re too scared I’ll leave to let me help you. I really do get it. But the thing is, Suzie Q, that’s your problem. Not mine.”
She reared back with a scowl. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” I told her, with more attitude than was probably wise when dealing with a hormonal and fed-up pregnant woman. “You knew what my job was when our relationship started.”
“Affair,” she chimed in quickly. “It was an affair, not a relationship.”
“Whatever it was ,” I shot back, “it produced a child, and we now have a relationship, however you want to define it. Yeah, sure, my job requires me to travel so I’m gone a lot of the time, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help. Can’t be here for you and our kid, whenever and however I can.”
Suzie mulled over my words and nodded. “Okay, fine. You do what you have to, Gavin. Do what makes you feel good, but I refuse to play a part in any of this.”
I sighed and shook my head. “Things were good between us, Suzie. We got to know each other, and we became friends. Why does it feel like you hate me now?”
She smiled and let out an exhausted sigh. “I don’t hate you. Life would be easier if I could just hate you, but I can’t.”
That was promising and I took a step forward, smiling.
Suzie took a step backwards. “Oh no, you don’t. Don’t think you can romance me, either. Don’t try to make me fall for you when you know it’s impossible for you to build a life in Jackson’s Ridge. It’s cruel, and you’re not a cruel man, are you?”
“You know I’m not.” This felt hopeless. I wanted to just toss my hands up and be done with it, but that was exactly what she expected of me.
“I do. You’re a great guy, Gavin, and I’m happy that I got to know you. I’m happy we met and that you gave me something I wanted more than anything in this world. But I can’t let myself go back down this road with you knowing how easily you’ll hightail it out of town. I need to be able to do this on my own.”
I understood where she was coming from. “I get it.”
“You do?” Her skepticism was palpable, written all over her pretty face.
“Yeah, I do. I left my dad’s house because I couldn’t let myself live for those brief moments when he remembered he had a kid. It was soul-destroying.”
Suzie’s shoulders fell in relief. “Good. Good that you get it, not the other stuff.”
“But I’m still going to change your mind.”
A small smile played on her lips. “You’re welcome to try.” The words might have been encouraging if not for her expression, which said she didn’t think my efforts would change anything. “Just stop with the gifts, I don’t need them adding to the confusion of you being back.”
I smiled silently at her command. Nearly all of the women in my past couldn’t wait to get gifts from me. Trinkets, jewelry, trips, tickets, or even cold, hard cash, but Suzie practically begged me to stop. “You didn’t enjoy the Ropa Vieja ?”
She growled. “You know I did. The fried plantains were delicious, as well.”
I nodded in satisfaction. “And you were able to relax after work because the housekeeper cleaned?”
“Yes.”
“Did the laundry?”
Suzie nodded. “Yep.”
“Then I’m sorry, sweetheart, what’s the damn problem?”
“The problem is that when you’re halfway across the world and you forget to pay the housekeeper, I’ll have to do it myself. So I’d rather not get used to it, if it’s all the same to you.”
“That’s not good enough. I’ve already paid for her to come twice a week for the next year. Anything else?”
She sighed. “No,” she answered and dropped her head. “I guess not.”
“Good.” I went to Suzie and held her in my arms, letting her soft curves press up against me. “I only want to help, Suzie. I promise I won’t let you down. Not this time.”
“Gavin,” she groaned and pressed her forehead against my chest.
“I’m not sorry. I just can’t let you go. I won’t.”
I didn’t give her time to formulate another objection. I just quieted her in the best way I knew how—with my mouth. Our teeth and tongues collided in a wild frenzy of passion and need. She gave in easily because as much she didn’t want it to be true, our connection was too intense to fight for long.
It told me I still had a chance to make her mine.