Chapter 4
Sitting in a hotel room made me twitchy.
It reminded me of weeks and months spent in safe houses and surveillance posts around the globe.
And the down time between missions which had never been a good interlude for me.
Rose spent a lot of time with Coral, who spent a lot of time in the hospital visiting Pike. So I spent a lot of time alone.
We’d upgraded to a nice hotel. A wad of cash to the concierge can work wonders. But as far as going with them to the hospital, I only made short trips there.
I hate hospitals. It’s where people go when they’re sick or dying.
Yes, I know. Duh. But my sixth sense, which had saved me from several ambushes, picked up the vibe of pain and suffering and, more than anything, despair.
So I skipped out on most of that. Pike would be okay as long as he didn’t screw up the rehab.
He was a tough old coot and was sort of embarrassed to be confined to a bed so my goal was to lessen his embarrassment.
This afternoon I wandered around, walking the streets.
I paused outside a bar and then it struck me.
I was in a bad place. Not Asheville. Not even the hospital which I was avoiding.
I was without purpose. I felt like a shark; I had to keep moving or else.
For me, the bad or else had been drinking.
When I’d initially retired and moved into the mountains of Colorado to my ‘dream’ cabin, it had taken less than two weeks before I was drinking every day.
You can only stare at the trees so long.
I’d had problems with it before, usually when I was in stand-down between missions.
But on missions I’d always had something more important that had kept me in check.
I can prioritize. It had gotten so bad in the cabin that even Herc had intervened and sent me on my Appalachian Trail trek to get sober.
That he had ulterior motives became clear with subsequent events, but I’d found Rose, so it was worth being deceived.
And then we’d had the trouble in Rocky Start to deal with.
We’d cleared out the psychotic female ex-operative wanting her Russian microfiche, the town’s resident serial killer and finally Herc (yes, a lot happened and I was busy).
Then Rose and I had moved across the river and busted our ass renovating the old cottage all winter. Rescuing it from the encroaching wilderness and time. Arguing about how to put up sheetrock. Until the storm.
Now?
I turned away and walked back to the hotel. Rose, Coral and Jackie were in the lobby bar, sharing a drink. They must have just gotten back from the hospital. As soon as she saw me coming Rose started to get up, but I waved her to sit back down and joined them.
“How’s Pike?” I asked.
“Much better,” Coral said. “He’ll be out of critical care tomorrow. It is going to be difficult to keep him from hurting himself before he’s healed.”
I nodded. “We’re like that, Coral. You know that.”
She frowned. “I know. But he’s old. He will heal slower than he desires. I will have to be hard on him.”
“You’d better be,” Jackie said. “People have to understand their limitations. He was very lucky with the break, but it was spiral and those are really slow to heal. If he screws it up, he might never walk again.”
I ordered a coke from the waitress. The women had glasses of wine in front of them.
I didn’t feel that desire I’d had outside the bar, but I did feel the restlessness.
I also had enough awareness to realize Rose was troubled.
I wondered if she was picking up my negative vibe and reflecting it.
I’d read about that somewhere, probably one of those books Rose had.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“Poppy called while we were at the hospital,” Rose told me.
“How’s she doing?”
Rose shook her head. “She loves visiting the city, but she’s really upset that she wasn’t there to help move stuff in Oddities and that it’s flooded.”
“We got as much moved as possible,” I said.
“She wants to go check on the place,” Rose said. “I explained to her that wasn’t going to be possible for at least a month.”
“More than that,” I said which earned me a sharp glance from Jackie.
“You should go to her,” Coral suggested.
“And visit New York City. Everyone needs to go there at least once. So many museums. And the art. You’ll love it.
You need a vacation, Rose. As long as I’ve known you it has always been work, work, work.
Oz was a task master. You never left Rocky Start.
Take a break. There will be plenty of work to do once the roads are opened. We will have a very busy summer.”
Unsaid was the fact Rose hadn’t been able to leave Rocky Start due to a warrant for her arrest. That had been taken care of, but that reminded me of something.
Jackie seconded that. “I love the city. I did a rotation there. Really, Rose, you’d have a great time.”
Rose glanced at me. “I also talked to Lian. She says there’s plenty of room for you and me to stay at Rowan’s place.”
Rowan. The investigative reporter who’d come to Rocky Start on the trail of our serial killer.
Good-looking, rich, suave and debonair, I think that’s the word, and now with Rose’s best friend Lian.
I’d rather get staked out on an ant-pile.
And there was a bigger problem I’d remembered when thinking about Rose’s warrant. A practical one.
“I’m wanted in New York,” I said.
“’Wanted’?” Rose repeated. “For what? Like criminal wanted?”
Jackie and Coral were both staring at me. Coral with a knowing look, Jackie more an evaluating one, which I’d noticed she tended to do. It was the doctor in her.
“It’s complicated,” I said. “Years ago, I did a job for Herc that required, well, extreme measures. Stopped a terrorist attack, but not exactly in a legal way and then I had to extract a foreign asset who helped me that the cops wanted. And in doing so, I stepped on some toes in the NYPD counter-terrorism unit. Stole their glory. Broke a few laws while doing so, but it was necessary to save lives. And save the asset. So I’m on their watch list. Bureaucratic bullshit, but very legal.
The way things are now with facial recognition and CCTV surveillance, it’s not a good place for me to show up.
Without Herc providing cover . . .” I shook my head.
Rose understood, given she’d had a warrant for her arrest for many years. “Then we’ll just stay here and—”
“No,” I said, cutting her off. “You go. Be with Poppy. You do need a break.”
“What will you do?” Rose asked.
I answered before I’d thought it through. “Finish the trail.”
Rose smiled. “Mad Max. Always finishing what he starts. Your last two attempts got sidetracked.”
“Third time’s the charm,” I said.
“I don’t know,” Rose said. “I can stay here with you. Wait it out. Then go back to Rocky Start.”
“We’ll drive each other crazy,” I said. I noticed the look Jackie gave me and I amended my statement. “I’ll drive you crazy, Rose. I’m crawling out of my skin here doing nothing.”
Rose was about to say something when her phone buzzed. She glanced at the screen. “Poppy,” she said and got up and walked away, taking the call.
“Restless and irritable and discontent,” Jackie said to me.
“What?”
“You said you’re crawling out of your skin,” Jackie said.
“And?”
Coral spoke up. “Pike had a drinking problem for years when I first met him. He used to go on benders. I wish he would have stopped earlier.” She indicated her wine. “I probably imbibe too much, but I’m European. We get special dispensation.”
“What does this have to do with drinking?” I asked, which, of course, showed my irritation.
“It’s a symptom of our old life,” Coral said. “I’ve noticed that you never drink. Such absolutism often stems from something.”
“I just don’t like it.”
“Bullshit,” Jackie said. “Hell, a lot of doctors are the same, except for us, it’s usually pills. Since we have easy access to them. I had a bad year after my divorce. Then I just threw myself into my work harder to try to get straight.”
“Did it work?”
“For a little while,” Jackie said. “But ultimately, I had to face it.”
“And?”
“I had to find someone outside of me I cared more about. Actually, more than one someone. I had Hester who I love more than anything, but I had to expand that. Care about people. The world beyond my small space.”
“I care about people,” I said, which caused Coral to chuckle.
“Max, you’re like Pike,” Coral said. “You’d die trying to save someone, but you’d prefer not to have a conversation doing it.
You don’t even need to know their name. I literally had to kick Pike out the door every day to be the law in Rocky Start.
Everyone knew he was the enforcer, but he had to go out there and show it.
Talk to people. He hated it for a long time.
But, then, eventually, he started to enjoy it.
Talk to people. Get to know them. And when he did, his drinking receded too because he had something bigger than just sitting around.
And it kept the peace better than reacting. Being proactive.”
“I don’t—” I began, but Jackie cut me off.
“When you walked the Trail before, did you do it alone?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Did you talk to other hikers?” Jackie pressed. “The trail angels?”
Trail angels were people who for some reason, waited at spots along the trail, usually trailheads where they could park, and helped hikers, usually with food and drink or transportation into town. Irritating people who wanted to, like, have conversations while helping.
I fidgeted. “Not really. That’s not the point. The goal is to cover—”
“To get to the end,” Jackie said. She shook her head. “I get it. You’re a goal person. But if you don’t have one, then what?”
That was exactly the problem, and I didn’t feel like answering.
I didn’t want to tell her I’d shadow walked the trail, going out of my way to avoid others.
Never camping at one of the many shelters.
I used to get off the trail if Maggs alerted me that someone was coming.
I’d also avoided the trail angels since they didn’t have anything I needed. I hiked self-sufficient.
“And when you accomplish the goal,” Jackie continued, “what then? Another goal? What happens when you and Rose finish the cottage?”
I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Plus, we were going to have to start over again on the cottage.
“What you should—” Jackie started but she was interrupted by Rose coming back.
“Poppy got really excited about the possibility of me coming to New York,” Rose said and I could tell she was a much happier person than the woman she’d been five minutes ago. She looked around the table. “What’s wrong?”
Jackie answered. “We were just discussing how nice it would be for Max to finish his through hike while you’re in New York.”
Rose brightened up. “Oh. That would be great. You’ve talked about the Trail a lot,” she said to me. “And you always finish what you start.” She nodded. “I’d feel a lot better if you were doing something you enjoyed while I was with Poppy.”
I had a feeling there was more to it than that. I had a feeling that the women had been talking about me. Yeah, I had feelings contrary to what they might think.
I went to the bar to settle the tab since the waitress was busy. I was surprised when Jackie came with me.
“I texted Luke,” she said. “He said he’ll drive you to Springer Mountain after Rose leaves for New York.”
“You seem in a rush to get rid of me,” I said.
“No,” Jackie said. “In fact, I don’t think it’s a good idea if you walk the trail like you did before. Nothing will change.”
“Why does anything have to change?”
“You’re literally vibrating, Max. I can feel it come off you in waves.”
“I said I was crawling out of my skin,” I said, getting even more irritated. “I don’t need everyone piling on.”
“I know you love Rose,” Jackie said. “As Coral said. You’d do anything for her. You’ve put your life on the line for her. But can you love her when you’re not in crisis or working your ass off? Can you love her in peace and quiet?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I peeled off some cash and put it down on the bar. I hadn’t used a credit card or anything that could be electronically traced in decades.
“Pike’s done as the law in Rocky Start,” Jackie said. “We need you to take his place.”
“I’m already doing that,” I said.
“You passed it off to Marley and had him walk the town in your place,” Jackie said. “He’s too young. He doesn’t have the respect you’ve earned.”
I turned and faced her. “And? What?”
“Do the Trail, Max. But do it different.”
“Different how?”
“Make it about people. Every day talk to someone new.”
I was shaking my head before the second sentence was done. “That’s not—”
“It will change you, Max. For the better. For the better for Rose. You love her, but can you love her in the way she needs? She needs a peaceful Max. Who isn’t vibrating in place.”
“What does talking to people have to do with that?”
“You’ll see.”
I hated when people said that. “Are you a shrink now, too?” I asked.
“I have a degree in social work,” Jackie said. “And you need work on social.”
She had a point. I’d never been a people person.
I’d killed a lot more people than those I could count as friends.
In fact, the only friends I had were the people I’d met in Rocky Start.
My old life hadn’t exactly encouraged getting all buddy-buddy when your buddy likely had a pretty short life expectancy.
Luke was my friend now and we’d done jobs together in the past, but between the last op we’d done together and running into him in Rocky Start, we hadn’t been in contact. It was the way that life was.
“Promise me, Max,” Jackie. She smiled to take some of the bite out of this. “Hell, with Maggs at your side, you’ll have no problem meeting people. They’ll talk to her if they won’t talk to you.”
What the hell did I owe her? “Sure. One person a day.” What the hell? I could feel the tension in my jaw and I forced myself to relax.