Chapter 7 #2
She didn't have much appetite and tried to tell herself that it was due to the big breakfast and lunch she had at Rodney's.
She could also blame her lack of concentration on him as well.
She listened to her son excitedly relate how much fun he had at the park playing basketball with friends.
And how he had helped grams to deliver some cake to the church bake off.
He even told her about the sermon and what he had learned in Sunday school. None of it registered.
She found herself toying with her meal and staring off into space, catching herself when she noticed her grandmother looking at her.
Afterwards, she helped with the tidying up. David asked to go and play with his Gameboy and went into the tiny living room.
"Shall we go into my bedroom? I have some wool I like to select for crocheting.
A young lady at church is having a boy. I want to make a pair of booties and matching sweater.
" She went straight to the closet to haul out a basket.
"Sit and tell me what's up with you." She gestured to a ladder back chair near the window, while she took her rocking chair.
"It's complicated." Melanie sat and stretched her legs out.
"Start talking."
Sighing, Melanie folded her hands and knotted her fingers.
"I'm in trouble grams."
Immediately the yarns were put back into the basket.
"What do you mean?"
Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes tight before opening them again and facing her grandmother. And decided to tell her everything.
"Lord have mercy child." Eloise stared at her in shock. "Are you out of your ever living mind? What on earth were you thinking?"
She blinked at the tears.
"That I wanted something different. That I'm tired of being poor."
"Nothing is wrong with being poor and we're not.
We have roofs over our heads, food on the table and clothes to wear.
Envy is dangerous and can lead to so much more.
" Eloise lifted her hands and let them drop back on the arms of the chair.
"You had sex with this man. Of course you did.
And he has no idea who you really are. You haven't told him about David. "
"No." Melanie swiped a hand over her cheeks to get rid of the moisture. "And before you start thinking that I'm ashamed of my son, I'm not. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. I just wanted to experience what it was like to be with people like that."
"And now? How involved are you with him?"
"I'm falling in love with him." She blinked back the tears.
"Oh, dear sweet Jesus."
"And I think he's starting to feel the same way."
Her grandmother stared at her steadily until she looked away.
"What are you going to do about this mess?
Because believe me baby girl, it's a mess.
That man is a multi-billionaire. I've watched the news and I read the papers.
His family is an old one, with hotels and apartments all over the world.
We're not just talking about a simple guy here. And when he finds out..."
"I know!" She surged from her seat and went to close the door.
"I know. I wanted to tell him tonight, but the thought of him despising me is more than I can bear.
" She spun around and went to the window.
"Is it wrong for me to want more? I've been struggling all my life, and I just wanted to see what it feels like to be someone. "
"You are someone. And I ask you kindly not to take that tone with me."
Melanie collapsed against the faded wallpaper and closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry grams. I know you must be so disappointed in me."
"Stop that nonsense." Her grandmother held up an imperious hand.
"I am anything but disappointed. I'm proud of you.
You discovered you were pregnant by that worthless piece of trash, while grieving for your parents and you stood up and did the right thing.
You brought that boy up well, while dealing with an impossible work situation.
" She held out a hand and waited until Melanie came forward to take it.
Going on her knees, Melanie bent her head to her grandmother's knees the way she had when she was a little girl.
"I just need to see him again grams. I know what I'm doing is wrong, deceiving him like this, but for now, I cannot stop. I don't expect you to understand."
"Why?" the old woman demanded. "Because I'm not young anymore?" Putting aside the basket, she lifted Melanie's face. "I understand about love and how strong the pull can be. You're playing a dangerous game, one which has no happy ending."
"He wants to take me to Paris."
"Oh, honey." Bending her head, she brushed her lips against the damp cheeks and wished fervently that she had not outlived her son and daughter-in-law. Surely they would know the right thing to say at a time like this.
"When?"
"I just need to say the word."
"And I'll keep David for you." She rubbed the moisture off Melanie's face. "I hope you know what you're doing."
*****
"Mom! Are you listening to me?"
Shaking her head, she gathered her thoughts and focused on her son.
"You told me you had to write a science project, and you need to do some research.
" She was preparing for tomorrow with little enthusiasm.
The idea of going back to that place where she had had so many miserable hours was depressing her.
And she was feeling guilty about the time she was spending away from her son.
And she was trying to make up for it.
She was in her room, trying to figure out what to wear for work and wishing she could just call in sick or take the damn day off.
"Mom."
Picking up a thin green sweater and black dress pants, she turned to face him.
"Yes?"
"Are you sad?" His belligerent expression had changed to one of concern.
"Why would you ask that?"
Mindful that she did not tolerate anyone sitting on the bed she had so scrupulously tidied, he took the chair by the window.
"It's just that you look like you're about to cry. Is it about that guy you're seeing?"
His bluntness almost had her bobbling the outfit in her hands. Putting them down carefully on the sofa, she came and sat next to him.
"Why would you say that I'm seeing someone?" She asked quietly.
He looked sheepish and ducked his head.
"I heard you talking to grams."
Her eyes flashed.
"David Jeremiah Foster, how many times have I warned you about eavesdropping?"
"I was just passing..." His voice petered off at the incensed look on her face.
"Okay, I wanted to know if something was wrong." His tone was defensive. "You're always saying that I'm the man of the family and that I should look out for you."
Her anger dissolved.
"I did say that didn't I?" Her voice was hollow.
"That was irresponsible of me. You're an eight year old kid who shouldn't have to be looking out for an adult.
" Reaching over, she took his hands. "What I'm going through has nothing to do with you.
Adults go through their thing, it happens.
It doesn't take away from the fact that I love you best and always will. "
"And I don't want you to think that you have to be responsible for me. My job is to be responsible for me."
"Is it about him?"
"Who?"
He hesitated a second.
"The man who fathered me."
It broke her in pieces that at his age, he had to say that, to term it that way.
"No." She told him firmly. "Your father wasn't man enough to deal with being a dad.
It's wrong, but it's what it is. I've always tried to be honest with you, never letting you think or believe that life is one big bed of roses.
There're thorns and hardships, but one thing I can promise you is that I'm here and I always will be. "
"I aim to be the best mother to you because I'm your mom and I love you so much." She lifted his hands and pressed them against her cheek. "Do you believe that?"
He nodded and for the first time, he did not mind the emotion. He loved her too and thought she was the coolest mom a guy could ever hope for. He was mostly embarrassed that the guys at school think she's hot, but he didn't mind that either. He just did not want to see her unhappy.
"I am okay with not having a dad."
"Oh honey." She sighed and closed her eyes briefly. "That should not be the case. Are we cool?"
He smiled at her attempt to sound like a kid.
"Yes." He moved in and snuggled against her. "I know what to do. All I have to do is get the stuff ready for the project."
"Sure you don't want my help? I was a whiz in science."
He shook his head.
"The last time you helped, you almost burned the kitchen down." He danced away with a laugh when she lunged for him.
"Ungrateful much." She growled, grateful to see that he was his normal self again. Vowing not to allow her inner turmoil to touch him, she advanced with her hands raised as if she was going to attack him. He ran screaming from the room, with her behind him.
She caught him at the foot of the stairs and tickled him mercilessly, until they were both on the floor in gales of laughter.
"Okay, enough. We need to get ourselves ready for tomorrow." She rose and hauled him up with her.
"Mom?"
"Yes?" She turned to look at him as she was about to ascend the stairs.
"I love you too. And I have the best mom ever."
Tears threatened and she had to blink them back.
"I have the best son in the world." Blowing him a kiss, she hurried upstairs.