Chapter 18
Dread consumes my mind, distracting me while I try to finish up with Dee Dee. Diesel’s pacing the length of the building, cutting his eyes to me, over and over again as he continues the video call.
Every once in a while I catch a few snips of their terse exchange.
“He’s so gone for you,’ Dee Dee says as she folds up all the clothing Diesel and I will be taking.
What do I say to that? That I’m gone too?
Needing to do something, I carefully hang the dress I had on when we had sex, zipping it into a garment bag alongside the tux and shirts for Diesel. Still dismayed we’re going to be dressing like a couple. Even more dismayed what we did in those clothes…
“I don’t know, if he’s gone for me,” I try to hedge. “Things are complicated.”
There’s a knowing smile on her face as she places some folded items into a gigantic shopping bag. “Rumor is he’s your brother’s best friend.”
Is. Was? Not sure how that’s going to work out.
“Wow, that rumor mill is busy.” I wrap the sparkly belt into a coil, still feeling guilty about the price.
Everything she has is expensive, right down to the new jeans and a cute plaid shirt she insisted I wear today, just because.
“I’m close friends with the owner of Lone Star Security. We go way back.” She winks. “High school friends. He keeps me in the loop. And… I might do a little undercover work for them once in a while.”
Huh? “You… spy on people?”
“I gather information.” She wiggles her brows. “I have my…connections.”
“I feel like there’s a really good story there, but forgive me, I’m dying to know what Gray said about Caleb and Diesel.”
She slides a beautiful embroidered shopping bag toward me, and leans a hip against the table. “Told me your brother wouldn’t accept anyone else for your protective detail.”
Groan. “He’s a total jerk, why would Caleb do that?”
“Because the man is highly effective. I mean look at him. Caleb also knew Diesel could stand up to you, but would treat you like a princess.”
Ha. I scoff. “You mean like a captive.”
“Captors don’t usually buy thousands of dollars of clothes for their captives.”
My head snaps back, confusion making me blink at her. “I thought this was part of the protection detail.”
Chuckling, she holds up a black credit card. Symon M. Drake is the name on the front.
“Is this his company card?”
Dee Dee shakes her head. “This is all on Diesel. He wanted to do this for you.”
I’m blown away. “But I thought my brother…”
“Your brother won’t be paying a dime. Gray would never bill him for your protection. And don’t ask me why. That’s a story for your brother to tell you.”
Rubbing my forehead, I blow out a breath. My world is off axis. This whole mess, from the flowers and weird cards that started months ago, to Caleb’s demand for security, to finding out about Diesel watching me to…
Lordy. My body is still tingling.
I had sex with a bodyguard.
An awkward laugh escapes me. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to forgive me, it just feels like I stepped into some alternative reality.”
She rests a hand on my arm. “Sometimes the biggest shocks are the best. Now, are you ready for the show this weekend?”
“Clothing wise, yes. But my head’s a bit of a mess.”
So are my inner thighs at the moment too.
“Trust him, he’ll take care of anything you need done. Diesel will make sure you get you there and do it safely.”
“If they don’t try to pull the plug,” I admit, worried. “Those two alphas could shut everything down. I don’t even have a truck to get there right now.”
“Those men want you safe, with good reason. If they try to call off your performance it’s not because they do so lightly. Besides, you’re the hottest thing in rhinestones these days. Even if the Valentine’s Day show doesn’t pan out, you’ll get another chance.”
A familiar self doubt rears its head. An old pattern I’ve had to fight with tooth and nail to get to where I am.
“You sound mighty sure,” I say. “It’s a dog eat dog world.”
She gives me a wink as she wraps up her measuring tape. “Like I said, I’ve got contacts. I’ll be keeping tabs on things.”
A loud whistle echoes through the building making me jump. Diesel circles his finger in the air.
“I think I need to go.”
She hugs me, squeezing me extra hard. “Be safe. Have a blast. Don’t forget to take cute couple’s selfies.”
“Thanks for everything. But the selfies… I doubt that’s going to happen.”
I grab the gigantic bags and cross the space, unsure how I feel. Definitely confused. Still flush on the inside, and weirdly guilty about what we did. Then there’s the whole clothing thing. Diesel bought those things for me.
He looks as tense as I feel as he takes both bags and guides me toward the exit. “Caleb needs to speak to you.”
Yep. His tone is off.
“You don’t look happy,” I say as we walk side by side.
“I’ll let you sit in the truck and talk.”
Stone opens the door to the building, silently watching as we leave.
“Is Caleb okay?”
“Yes.”
“Then what?”
Diesel opens the back door, puts the clothes in, opens my door, and waits while I climb in.
He’s acting weird. Won’t meet my eyes.
Exactly how you don’t want a man that was just inside you to act.
I’m all in my head as he cues up a video call to my brother and passes me the phone as he clears his throat. “I’ll be standing over there.”
“Wait…”
He closes the door right as Caleb picks up the call on his end.
“River.” He looks frustrated. “Thanks for calling.”
“Of course. I can’t believe I’ve gotten to speak to you so much. I know it’s hard when you’re traveling.”
He nods, stares at me through the phone with a look that I’ve only seen a few times. He’s mad, but this isn’t mad because you scratched his dirt bike. No, this is protective mad.
“What’s wrong?”
My hand trembles around the phone.
“Diesel’s off the case. Stone will be stepping in to take over.”
I’m sure I’ve heard him wrong. “You mean to help?”
“No. Diesel’s not going to be anywhere near you.”
I pivot to look at Diesel through the window. He’s staring right at me. When my palm presses to the glass, he looks down.
“Why, Caleb?” I challenge.
When I look back at Caleb his anger is on full display. Color darkening his cheekbones, eyes flashing. “Because I fucking said so. Because you don’t understand these things.”
The top of my head is scalding hot. My hands are tingling, and I’m pretty sure that my face is as red as a stop sign.
“So you know.”
Caleb shakes his head, scrubbing a hand over his mouth. “I trusted him to protect you and he fucking touched you.”
“Wait a minute, Caleb. He only touched me because I allowed him to.”
“Well that’s WRONG! He’s fucking working, River. One hundred percent of his focus needs to be on his job. Keeping you safe.”
I’m shaking with anger. God, my chest hurts. Diesel has both his hands on top of his head, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk.
“I don’t want Stone,” I bite out.
“Diesel’s out of the picture.”
“I’m a grown woman, Caleb, you seem to forget.”
Someone walks behind Caleb on the video call and squeezes his shoulder. One of his teammates, checking on him.
“I’m fine,” Caleb says to them, before gripping the bridge of his nose. “Look. I need you to let this play out. Don’t cause trouble. I’ll only accept the most focused person on the LSS team keeping my only sister safe.”
“Caleb, that’s Diesel.”
“I’ve already spoken to Gray.”
Christ. This is a disaster. I can’t even catch my breath.
“You don’t have to do this.”
Caleb shakes his head. “Yeah, River. I do. I can’t lose you. And this threat is real. There is new intel and it’s not good.”
This revelation makes me even angrier. “What kind of intel?”
“I can’t talk about it, River.” His face goes stone-cold serious. “You’ll just have to trust me on this.”
Dammit. I’m sick of this. But it’s not going to be solved on this phone call.
“I’m trying.” I press my hand to my stomach as the memory of Diesel’s body filling me assaults my senses. “I’ve got to go. I’m not feeling well.”
He leans closer to the camera. “I love you, Riv’. Stay sharp. LSS is on this, but I need you to play by the rules. Stick close to Stone. Do exactly what he says.”
Winded, throat aching, I hollowly reply. “I’ll listen to him. I’ll be okay. Love you, Caleb. Stay safe.”
My older brother looks at me for a long moment, and finally hits the button to end the call. The screen blinks off. My heart tears in half, socking the breath out of me.
Oh god. Oh god.
Diesel’s next to the truck. He plants his forearm on the roof and looks down through the glass at me. Deep lines mark his brow, bracket his mouth. A muscle tics on his cheek.
He’s never shown me this side of him before.
When I lift my palm to the window this time, he lays his on the other side, lining it up with mine.
For a few seconds it’s just us looking at each other.
The ache inside of me crushes me, cracking me in ways I’ve never felt before.
Stone walks over and Diesel turns his back toward me. Says something in a low tone and walks away.
Walks away with conviction. Finality. Severing the fragile thing we just shared.
I’m stunned, paralyzed by pain when Stone rocks the truck as he climbs into the driver’s seat, dark glasses still firmly in place.
“He’s got some things to take care of,” Stone says as he starts the engine.
I stare straight out the windshield, anger, pain, confusion making my blood feel thin and hot.
My heart saw this coming, didn’t it?
I just didn’t expect it to happen before it even started.
“Take me to see your boss,” I tell Stone, not bothering to hide the thunderstorm that’s building inside of me.