Chapter 33
CHAPTER 33
EMERSON
Two Days Later
Manhattan
“I can’t wait to see you there, Cowboy.”
He rumbles a deep laugh on the other end of the line, his voice filled with promise as he murmurs, “I’ll be doin’ so much more than seein’ you, baby.”
I sigh and hang up my cell, meeting Hayley’s eyes in the mirror as I continue my moisturizing routine. The smile on her face speaks a thousand words, and I reach for her hand to squeeze it lightly.
“I love you, Hayles.”
Her smile widens. “You too, Em.”
In the two days since being back in Manhattan, it’s been a nonstop whirlwind of press events. Beck had jumped right back into damage-control mode, no grudges held.
Thankfully, Hayley had already filed the press release, so the fallout from the leaked footage at Rebels wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Even so, I’m glad to have Beck in my corner.
The only thing that’s missing now is Ford, who stayed behind to request a visit with his father. Considering his crimes and notoriety, we weren’t hopeful for a visit any time soon, and he’d planned on flying back to Manhattan for the Breaking Us premiere tonight, but a phone call this morning changed all of that.
Seemingly, Ford’s friend, Vaughn, pulled some strings, and he’s currently on his way to the maximum-security prison that houses his dad outside Houston.
“Will he make it back in time for the premiere?”
I nod. “He should be here just in time. If not for the red carpet, then for the actual premiere itself.”
Hayley sniggers behind her hand, arching a devilish brow. “Will he be able to watch you having fake sex with Lawson?”
I can’t help but roll my eyes at my sister’s train of thought even as I shrug.
“I mean, after everything that happened in Texas and how Law stepped up to deflect any negative press in the aftermath of that footage leaking, I don’t possibly see how any animosity could remain between them.”
Lawson had gone so far as to release a press statement declaring that I’d wanted to end the relationship long before the announcement, something both myself and Ford hadn’t expected but were beyond grateful for.
Hayley’s cell rings, and she holds up her index finger. “I have to take this. It’s Carter, and he was supposed to have arrived with your dress for the premiere twenty minutes ago.”
My mild-mannered sister smoothly transitions into my kick-ass PA when she answers the call with a straightforward, “You’re late , Carter. And it simply will not suffice.”
I chuckle to myself as she leaves my ensuite.
Or rather, Ford’s ensuite.
He was adamant that if he couldn’t be present to protect me himself, then the entire Sentinel arsenal, including their top-of-the-range security system in his building, must be at my disposal.
At least the bedsheets still smell like him.
Hayles pops her head back in the door, rolling her eyes heavily. “Carter’s car blew out a fucking tyre. He’s calling a tow, but I’m going to nip out and grab the dress, because we might need to have the designer come and refit it.” Her eyes glance down over my curves, narrowing as they amble back to mine. “You’ve lost weight this past week.”
I hold my hands up on either side of my head.
“In my defense, it’s not like I haven’t been eating plenty. Ford’s mom is what I’d call a feeder . The woman cooks all day, and when she’s not cooking, she’s baking.”
Hayley smiles brightly. “In that case, I look forward to meeting her.”
We both chuckle as my sister moves to leave, but my low question stops her. “Would I be insane to give it all up?”
Her understanding eyes find mine in the mirror, instantly knowing what I mean, having been there through it all. Thick and thin.
“You can have both, you know. It’s a woman’s world, right?”
My chest pangs as my words tumble from my lips without ever having thought them through.
“But I only want him .”
She tilts her head to one side. “There’s your answer, Em.”
Then, as my sister leaves to meet Carter and solve the impending dress dilemma, I stare at my reflection for the longest time until visions of a ranch house surrounded by a myriad of colorful wildflowers appear in my mind’s eye.
I blink them away, shaking my head as they expand to include a handsome cowboy with intense blue eyes and a dancing smile sitting on the porch step.
A baby boy swaddled in blue lies in the curve of his arm as a little toddler with golden pigtails, grasping a burnt orange peony in one hand, runs past him as she chases a butterfly.
The scene unfolds as though it’s happening before my very eyes. As though I’m right there. I can almost smell the sweetness of the blooms and taste the sticky heat of the Texas summer sunshine as it warms my skin.
Until the horn of a passing car jerks me back to reality, and I blink sharply, wondering what the hell just happened. And as I look back at my flushed face in the mirror before me, I know what I want for the rest of my life.
It’s what I’ve always wanted, deep down. What I’ve known for a long time but always been too scared to make that leap of faith.
We can aspire to make our parents proud. We can want to be just like them, but at the end of the day, we all only get one life to live. And we all deserve to chase our dreams.
To be happy.
My lips draw up in a broad smile as I whisper to the universe, grateful to her for bringing me to where I needed to be. “I see it now.”
FORD
I pace back and forth across the narrow space they’ve given me to meet my father.
Despite being a maximum-security prison, I was surprised when I arrived to discover I’d been allowed into a one-on-one space with my father instead of the glass partitions usually afforded to someone else of a similar status.
I instantly put it down to Vaughn’s connections, thankful once again for the man who has guided me through some of the hardest times of my life.
Best make sure Sia’s birthday gift is exceptional this year.
I snigger to myself, thinking of Vaughn’s daughter, his pride and joy, who utterly owns him, and I’m filled with thoughts of making my own Sia with Emmy. Something that has gripped me since Rebels earlier this week, and I can’t fucking shake it, no matter how hard I try.
The buzzer sounds, and my stomach bottoms out as a security guard enters the room, followed by my father.
Nausea fills my stomach, seeing the man I’d idolized all my life—the one I’d aspired to be just like—shuffling into the room with hands and feet bound in chains, clad in the inimitable orange jumpsuit associated with his crimes.
He takes a seat, his hands unlocked and his feet fastened to the table beneath him before he raises his eyes to mine. It takes a beat before the guard takes a step back, giving us space, and my father whispers, “I didn’t think you’d ever come, Fordy.”
“ Don’t —” My singular word, spat at force, makes my father jerk backward. “Don’t call me that, Jasper.”
His shoulders sag, and I refuse to allow myself to feel sorrow for this man.
“I’m here because I needed to see you.” His eyes brighten, so like Faith’s and Finley’s, that my chest aches, and I glance to one side, needing a moment to get my shit together.
Fuck. I wish Emmy was here right now.
The thought races across my mind for the umpteenth time today, and I focus on getting through this. On getting to the premiere of her movie that tells such an important story.
Our story.
“So tell me why ?” He tilts his head to one side, looking so much smaller than the man I recall looking up to. And I repeat my question, more firmly this time, locking unerringly on his eyes. “ Tell me why ?”
My father regards me, blinking once. Twice, before expelling a heavy breath. “I made a lot of bad choices in my life, son .”
When I clench my jaw, my teeth ache, but I remain silent, dropping my head, needing him to continue.
“But I loved your mother. You, and the girls. I loved our family?—”
I lift my head to his once again, my eyes unflinching, my words unerring in their mark. “You ruined our family. You caused so many needless deaths?—”
My voice escalates even when I tell myself to calm down.
“Including the mother of the woman I love . And yet, here you are, Jasper Holloway. Locked up with no one to love you. No one who cares?—”
His eyes bore into mine as he sits forward. “Say what you will, but I love my family?—"
“Don’t try to feed me that bullshit. The only person you truly love or have ever loved is yourself. I see that now.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but I hold up a quelling palm. “ No . I came here because I need to move forward . And I can’t do that with the burden of the past hanging over me.”
I slam my fist against my chest once, then twice. “I can’t be the man my woman deserves with this unbearable hatred residing in my heart. With the fear that I could somehow be like you running on repeat in my mind.”
My father’s eyes flicker between mine, something inside of them softening as he whispers, “I love you, Fordy.”
It’s like his words are the key to unlocking the chains that have bound me for these past five years as I feel a weight lift. As I let go of the demons I’ve kept with me, setting them free.
Setting me free.
And I shake my head slowly, fully assured of the truth that spills from my lips.
“I feel nothing for you, Jasper Holloway. I don’t even know you. The man who was my father died five years ago.”
He flinches as I continue. “I’ve done my grieving. And today, I’m saying goodbye to his ghost.”
Pushing to stand, I look down on the man chained to the table, feeling nothing but relief as I nod with conviction. “Goodbye, Jasper.”