Chapter 3
Three
Victoria blew out a sigh and sank onto the settee. This was going to be a difficult night, or for however long it took to find that man.
Maybe she should have remained at Westbrook House. There was a chamber that she could sleep in and there were guards on the door, except she did not like sleeping there. It wasn’t her home. It belonged to others, even if she and her sister owned it.
Yet, she could have made the sacrifice and now wished that she would have thought of it while she had been there, then Benedick would not be in her home.
Except, if she had remained at Westbrook House, it would have been the same as hiding and she loathed the very idea of that man having such power over her.
She also did not need Benedick or anyone to rescue her from danger, yet she was also glad he was here. That man had frightened her earlier today and Victoria hoped that he was caught soon.
“All is secure,” Benedick announced as he returned to the parlor.
“Thank you,” she murmured then fell back against the settee, surrendering to what was to be, for now.
“I admire the work that you and your sister do, but it is dangerous.”
“We are aware,” Victoria answered. “He was not the first man to have come to our doorstep determined to take back what he believed was his property.”
“Is that why you now have guards?”
Victoria nodded. “Sinclair hired them for the safety of everyone inside.” She rose from her seat and crossed to the sideboard.
“They used to only be there at night, in the darkness, but Sinclair thought it best for someone to always be present because it would be a deterrent for anyone who might thing to break in.”
She lifted the decanter of brandy and poured a glass before she turned to Benedick. “Would you like one?”
“Yes, please.”
She poured one for him and then handed it to Benedick before she returned to her seat.
She’d never drunk to excess before but maybe tonight would be a good time to do so. It might even help the pain and pressure in her head.
“I hope that whoever the man happens to be is caught because I am certain that I am the last person you want in your home.” He then lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip, his brown eyes staring at her over the rim, daring her to claim that he was wrong.
Which he was.
“I assumed that it was you who would not want to be here, yet you are,” she returned.
“Why?” he asked. “Because of the way you treated me at the end of Lady Grisham’s house party?”
Ah, so it was going to be discussed and maybe it should be instead of pretending as if it had never happened. Then she realized what he just had the audacity to say to her and Victoria sat forward.
“Me? You are the one who recoiled in horror when you saw my face and learned my name.” Victoria prayed that she kept her emotions in check because the last person she wanted to see her tears was Benedick Valentine.
“I certainly did not. You are the one who stepped back, grew pale then ran away from me.”
“Because the abhorrence at seeing my face was evident upon yours. One would have thought I was a monster with two heads.”
He practically slammed his glass on the table as he stood. “You are wrong!”
Victoria came to her feet. She was not going to fight sitting down while he was standing. “I saw you, Benedick.”
“Then you misinterpreted what you saw,” he argued. “However, it was very clear that you wanted nothing to do with me once you knew my name as I removed my mask.”
“That is not true. None of it.”
“You ran away,” he reminded her.
“Because you were horrified!” she yelled.
“Not by you…” He closed his eyes and blew out a breath as he pushed long fingers through his tousled hair. “It was at the realization of what I had done.”
Victoria frowned. “I do not understand.” Except, maybe she did. She had nearly lost her innocence to Benedick and was willing to give it to him. He had been the one who brought the passion to an end. “Were you suffering from regret of what we had done, or what we had not?” she asked.
To think that she experienced so much in his arms and from his lips and hands in one week…
more than she ever dreamed was possible.
It was all rather alarming how quickly she had succumbed to passion but maybe it was because they had spoken openly and honestly and the only secrets that they held were their names or anything else that gave away their identity, which was proof that there was so much more to a person than name, title or profession.
“Regrets,” he snorted then paced way.
When Benedick had first kissed her, Victoria knew that she wanted to go on kissing him forever and to feel his hands upon her body.
She lifted the brandy and took a quick drink, shut out the heated memories and willed her body to cool.
“I, son of a missionary, raised by another, a commoner who held a position with the Thames River Police, had the audacity not only to kiss a lady of your standing but…” His face started to turn red.
“Things I should have not done to an innocent or a lady.” Benedick pushed his long fingers through his thick hair.
“That and the response of your brother, if he ever learned, would be to hunt me down and demand pistols at dawn for having the daring to reach above myself. That was likely the horror you witnessed.”
“Your excuse is not believed, Benedick. Proof lies in your own family so such arguments do not stand.”
He gaped at her, then must have realized to what she referred.
“Yes, my sisters married well. Very well, but a gentleman, no matter his rank, even a duke can marry who he wishes, even if she were a scullery maid. Yes, there would be judgment, and likely several disparaging remarks whispered behind fans, but nobody would dare attack him directly for fear of losing disfavor and soon, all would be forgotten. However, a lady would be committing the scandal of the Season if she were to wed so far beneath her, such as the sister of an earl to a son of a missionary with no standing, and in a position that made it impossible for him to support her in the way she deserves. It was not possible to pursue you for mar—”
“—Stable hand,” she corrected. “I know where you truly come from, as you know.”
“Which is even worse than the son of a missionary,” he argued.
“You decided all that in a matter of moments after seeing my face.”
“Yes.”
“Well, while you were making decisions about your future, and mine, you should have asked me,” she yelled and left the parlor, slamming the door behind her.
Benedick had not rejected her, which was of little comfort because he had rebuffed what she was, which was just as bad, and Victoria wasn’t so certain she could forgive him.
Clearly, he had learned nothing after a week living behind masks.
* * *
Benedick tossed back the remains of his brandy then refilled the glass, but it would be his last one tonight because he needed to remain alert.
He also wasn’t certain if he was more relieved or if his pain deepened to know that she hadn’t rejected him, but his expression made her believe that he no longer wanted her.
When he had realized who she was, his mother’s past flashed in his mind of her being rejected by her own family because she had married so far beneath herself. He could not repeat that history no matter how much he loved and wanted Victoria.
If only they could go back to that moment, then he would make certain to school his features so as not to reveal any of his thoughts, then explain why he could no longer pursue her.
Except, she was angry because he hadn’t even asked to begin with and made decisions that had affected them both. Even if they had shared a long, drawn-out discussion, the outcome would have been the same.
But Victoria was independent and stubborn, which was something he had realized within a day of meeting her while the masks were still in place. It was one of the things that he admired about her. Her independence, not her stubbornness.
No wonder she was angry at not being consulted, which he should have done.
Not that it would have made any difference, which was what hurt the most.
He was not worthy of her and never would be.
As he lifted the glass to his lips, Benedick sank down onto the settee and drank, feeling sorry for himself.
Just because he was here to guard her did not mean he couldn’t also brood.
“Dinner has been served in the dining room,” a footman announced after entering the parlor without knocking. “Will you be joining Lady Victoria or would you like a plate delivered in here?”
He almost asked to be served here, but Benedick was bloody tired of taking his meals alone.
At least her anger was directed at him for not being consulted and not his person.
“I will dine with Lady Victoria,” he answered then drained the brandy from the glass and stood before he followed the footman.
Her eyes widened only slightly, then she offered a nod as if to allow him to approach her. No different than how a queen might acknowledge those beneath her and solidified why they were not suited.
Benedick took the seat then stared at the plate before him of roast chicken, fried potatoes and carrots.
“We have simple meals,” she said to explain. “There is no reason for Cook to prepare a meal of courses for only me. I eat the same as they do.”
“It looks marvelous to me,” he returned. “I have eaten so much mutton stew and other meals that I am afraid to identify in taverns these last months that this is elegant.”
“Taverns?” she asked.
“Yes,” he answered and cut into the chicken. “I could cook for myself, I suppose, but it takes too much effort after a long day of chasing criminals so it is easier to visit a tavern or café.”
“I would have thought you would dine with your brothers, or maybe a sister when she was in town.”
“On occasion I do,” he answered. “But our schedules are such that we rarely have the same time that is free.”
She moved the potatoes around on her plate with the tip of her fork. “I suppose that I should not be surprised. Even though Olivia and I had shared a home before she wed, we rarely dined together as she was often at Westbrook House.”
“You were not?” he asked.
“She has the experience to be a doctor, surgeon, apothecary and midwife. With so many children, there was often someone ill.” The corner of her mouth twitched. “Society would be scandalized to know that she used to sneak into medical lectures dressed as a man.”
He certainly was. “If those were her duties, what are yours?”
“I run Westbrook House and attend to the finances and arrange events to raise funds and attend the balls so that I might encourage benefactors to give me more money.”
A world much different from his. Benedick only attended balls when forced to by his sisters and now that they were wed, he would not have to attend another wedding breakfast, and likely not another ball.
Nothing made him feel more out of place, even though that had not always been the case.
It only became an issue after Lady Grisham’s house party because he was afraid that he might cross paths with Lady Victoria.
Except, he had not needed to attend a ball.
He was summoned to the place she and her sister had founded.
At a scrape against the window, as if someone had scraped their fingernails across it, Victoria turned wide blue eyes to him and he could feel the fear radiating from her being.
It had grown dark outside, which was a time when those with intents of breaking into a home to do harm were ripe.
Except most waited until the owners and servants were asleep.
When there was a second scratch against the glass, Benedick rose from his seat, fisted his hand around the handle of a knife, and slowly walked to the window.
Victoria did not move and he wondered if she even breathed.
He thought to slide along the wall so that whoever was outside would be caught, but if there was someone there, he could easily see into the brightly lit dining room, even through the lace dimity curtains.
As he neared the window, Benedick drew in a breath then parted the curtain only slightly before he relaxed.
“It is the limb of a bush,” he announced.
Victoria frowned. “That has never happened before.”
“Maybe you have never noticed, or it is in need of trimming.” he suggested. “There is also a stronger than usual wind tonight.”
Just as the words left his lips there was a flash of lightning and clap of thunder so bright and loud that he stepped back.
“I do not think you need to fear your attacker tonight. The man would be a fool to be out in such weather,” he proclaimed as he made his way back to the table and resumed eating.