Chapter 1
Izzy
Present Day…
“Are you sure you won’t come out with us?” Viv gives me a pouty face.
“I would, but…”
“But Dr. Sexy is on call tonight and may stop by to give you a dose of that big dick of his.”
She makes it seem like I’m a booty call when she puts it like that.
“He’s going to be out of town this week, Viv, so it may be my only chance to see him. Plus, I have to study.”
“It’s Saturday night, Izz. You can study tomorrow. And no offense, but you should be out having fun, not waiting around for the doctor to come and give you thirty minutes of his time. Will you ever remember that you have a best friend who wants to spend time with you too?”
I know I do, but Alex said he’s really hoping to see me tonight and I don’t want to let him down. Especially when I know I’m not going to see him for a week.
“Can I just say something?” I can already tell by the look she’s giving me that the guilt is about to be piled on.
“I know he’s like your prince charming and that he’s perfect in every way.
” She rolls her eyes, only halfheartedly in gest. “But you guys have been dating for over a year now and he’s still throwing out scraps of his time and attention.
I know his job is important, but you are important too, Izz.
“It just feels like you’re the one sacrificing everything for him. You sit around every night waiting for the off chance he might be able to spare a moment of his time. I think you deserve so much more than that. He should make you a priority.”
She doesn’t understand his situation. Being an emergency care surgeon is hard work.
It’s not only a demanding job but it’s mentally taxing.
So, when he gets home in the early hours of the morning, he just wants to shut off.
He’s doing the best he can right now. And I don’t want to pressure him for more.
Not when he already has so much on his plate.
“I love you, Viv, and I appreciate you watching out for me, but I’m not unhappy with the way things are.
It gives me a lot of time to study so I don’t fall behind with school.
And he’s trying to pay his dues now, so we can have more time together later.
” He just needs to establish his reputation and then he can start his own practice, which will allot him more free time.
“Yet, it’s a Saturday night and you should be out with your friends, not sitting at home by yourself. Personally, I think you should go out and show that man that you’re not going to wait around anymore. You should make him chase you for a change.”
Except…I really want to see him tonight. He had to cancel on me on Tuesday, and I miss him.
“How about we have a girls’ night tomorrow night?” I ask, hoping she’ll lay off the guilt.
“I’m gonna hold you to that.” She smiles, but it barely meets her eyes.
She gives me a quick hug then heads out, and as soon as she walks away, I unlock my phone.
There still aren’t any messages from him.
It must be a busy night in the ER, which means I’ll be stopping by the store for ice cream on my way home.
Me: Just wanted to let you know that I miss you and hope I get to see you tonight.
I’m feeling beat up now. Viv’s right. I need to make more of an effort with my friends.
I’ve wrapped my entire life around Alex and it’s taking its toll on my friendships.
And if I’m being honest, it’s taking a toll on me too.
He’s canceled on me a lot lately. I’ve been waiting around, excited to see him, only to be let down. Over and over again.
I check my phone again, but there’s still nothing.
When the third episode of Grey’s Anatomy ends, I shut the TV off and pull out my textbooks.
I may as well get ahead on my reading for the week.
But Viv’s comments keep digging into my thoughts, making it impossible to concentrate.
She thinks I just sit around and wait for him to dangle me a carrot, and she’s right.
I’ve been checking my phone every five minutes in hopes I’ll get to see him for thirty minutes tonight, but as the clock creeps closer to one in the morning, my doubts grow heavier.
When my phone buzzes, I practically tumble off the couch trying to reach for it. But when I see that it’s Shayna texting, my excitement turns right into concern.
Sis: Hey, Izz. Are you up?
She never texts this late.
“Is everything okay?” I ask as soon as she picks up the phone.
“I just made out with Officer Price.”
She what?!
“You what?! Shayna! Officer Price? The man you wanted to adopt you when you were a kid?”
He was her corrections officer back when she was younger. That man bailed her out of every mess she found herself in. Why on earth would she be making out with him?
“I was ten, Izz. I obviously don’t feel that way about him anymore.”
Obviously. But still. The man is dangerous. He traded in his police badge to become a Savage Knight. And those men are known throughout the entire state as being people you don’t want to fuck around with. Let alone FUCK.
“Yeah, but didn’t you say he was a bossy asshole?” Controlling is more like it. She told me he’s always trying to control what she wears and who she speaks to. I’ve been telling her to quit her bartending job for over a year to get away from that man, and the rest of them, but she won’t listen.
“He was only acting that way because he was jealous. He said he doesn’t like the other men looking at me.”
Jealous?
I’m seriously struggling to wrap my head around this. I need to know the details and understand exactly what his intentions are. The last thing I want to see is my friend getting hurt. But the more she tells me, the more worried I am. It almost sounds like she’s in love with the man.
“Anyway, enough about me.” She’s now changing the subject, sounding frustrated that I’m not on board with her new love interest. I just think she could do better is all. “How are you? How are things with the dirty doc?”
My eyes roll at her chosen nickname. I will forever regret telling her about my first date with him. She’s been calling him the ”dirty doc” ever since.
“Things are good. School and work are keeping me busy. And the doctor is good, but he’s been working crazy hours, so I haven’t seen much of him lately.”
“That’s life with a surgeon, Izz. You’re going to have to get used to it.”
“I know,” I sigh. “But if we were living together, I could at least see him during the in-between hours.” I could be there when he gets off from his shift, and when he gets up in the morning for work.
I could have dinner waiting for him when he gets home.
And have his coffee hot and ready in a travel mug for him to take out the door.
I could make life easier for him and get to see him for more than thirty minutes a couple times a week.
“Have you talked to him about it?”
I sure have. I laid out my case on our one-year anniversary, but he didn’t think it was the right time for us to move in together. He wants to wait until after I graduate, so he doesn’t feel guilty about leaving me home alone all the time.
“I did, but he said he wanted me to have a true college experience and to not rush into becoming a housewife.”
What he doesn’t realize is that being a housewife is all I’ve ever wanted. I’m getting the degree to support myself, but all I’ve ever dreamt about is being a mom. Staying at home with my kids and giving them what I never had. A mom to be there for them when they need me.
“You know what I think. I think you should start going to frat parties. See if the doc doesn’t change his stance on you having that ‘college experience.’”
This is the second time tonight I’ve gotten this advice. Maybe my friends are right. I’ve been waiting by the phone all night and haven’t even received a text from him. The least he could do is let me know it’s a super busy night and he’s sorry he can’t talk.
“I think I just might do that. I’ll tell him I’m going to a frat party with my friends and then I’ll ignore his calls all night. Let him see how it feels to be left hanging for hours.” Maybe a taste of his own medicine will cure him of his behavior.
She laughs. “I bet you he’ll be telling you to pack your bags the next day.”
That would be amazing if he asked me to move in with him. Honestly, I’d just like to see him more.
“I miss you, Shay. When will I get to see you?”
It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve had one of our “sister weekends.” Partly because she moved in with a motorcycle club and I’m terrified to step foot in that place.
But mainly…because I’ve been sitting by my phone waiting for Alex to call.
Putting another friendship on the back burner for my boyfriend. That needs to stop.
“You just tell me when you have a night off from school and work, and I’ll be there, Izz.”
“That’s what I’ll do. I’ll tell him I’m going to a frat party then I’ll come and hang out with you for the night.”
“Sounds like a plan. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.”
And I can’t wait to find out what Officer Price wants with my friend.
As soon as we say our goodbyes and hang up, a text comes in. I wonder if the dirty doc’s ears were burning hot, sensing we were talking about him.
Doctor D: I miss you too, baby. You have no idea. We had two bad accidents come in tonight and I’ve been in the OR back-to-back. I’m finally clocking out and going home for the night. My brain is fried. And my body is wiped.
So, he’s not going to come see me?
Me: You could come stay here tonight. I could help ease all that stress and give you a massage.
Doctor D: As much as I want that, I need to get some sleep before my shift tomorrow. If I come there, you know I don’t stand a chance at getting any shuteye. You’re too tempting.
Me: Okay, well, good night.
And once again I waited around all night just to be let down again. Next time, I’m going out with my friends. If he wants to see me, he can come meet me after I get home. Viv is right; he needs to make me a priority.
Doctor D: Before you go to bed, will you send me a picture of that young little pussy? I need something to stroke off to before I pass out.
So, he has time to stroke off to an image of me, but he won’t come stay the night with me?
I shut my phone off and head to bed, deciding to let him sit with an unanswered text for once.
I’m not in a generous mood tonight, nor do I want to feel like I’m only good for one thing—getting his dick off.
If he has time to stroke himself off, he has time to come and see me.