Chapter 17
ELIAS
The walk home couldn’t be any more excruciating. I can’t stop picturing Matty on his knees, letting himself be used—letting me use him.
I hope tonight isn’t one of Cal’s rougher nights, because the need to have Matty in my arms, sprawled across the bed, and panting my name is too strong for me to ignore.
Miya hasn’t texted me back since I asked for an update, and I’m hoping it’s because they’re both asleep and not because Cal is having a meltdown.
“So, I don't want to kill the mood or anything,” I say against the dryness in my throat. “But we should talk about protection, right?”
Matty's heated gaze simmers, replaced by something sweeter. “I'm on PrEP, have the test results on my phone to show I'm negative for all STIs, and I've got condoms in my toy box.”
My mouth drops open, and another shock of jealousy rolls through me. This isn't Matty's first rodeo. Not like it is mine.
“Um.” Words are kind of hard to come by, but Matty's patient smile slowly unravels the building nerves. “I haven't been tested in a couple of years, but I also haven't slept with anyone. PrEP? That's for protection against HIV right?”
Matty nods and stuffs his hands in his hoodie pocket. My hoodie.
“Why do you have condoms in your toy box?”
He snickers and shoots me a sly look. “Because sometimes I play with my toys real messy and need quick clean up. If you want details, I can pull up some videos later.”
Hot. So fucking hot.
Despite the cold air, perspiration forms on my brow. I clear my throat. “Another question for you.”
“Shoot.”
Thank fuck he's so open and eager with me.
“I get the impression you like to bottom?”
“If me trying to jump on your dick didn't give it away.” He grins, but it flickers. “Unless you want me to fuck you?”
My dick stirs the slightest bit. Huh. Okay. Will have to unpack that later.
A blush heats my wind-whipped cheeks. “Circle back around to that? I really want to be inside you.”
In contrast, I also really want to hold his hand, but we're both limiting contact to keep our arousal in check. Why does this walk feel so long?
“I'm going to drive you insane with questions.” Several more are just dying to come out, but I'm trying to pace myself.
Matty's eyes soften in a way that has my feet locking in place. We both stop, and Matty cradles my cheeks in his hands. They're warm to the touch from his palms and chilled at his fingertips.
“Ask me as many questions as you need. About sex. About my body. I want you completely comfortable and on board with everything we do.”
I want to kiss him so badly, and when his gaze drops to my mouth, I figure he's thinking the same thing.
Before we have a chance to get carried away, I duck my head and kiss his palm.
“You said something once about all of your holes being open for play ...” Just saying it out loud has me breaking into a sweat and blushing like a virgin. “But do you have a preference? I know you like having your ass fingered ...”
Matty rises forward and drops a chaste kiss to my mouth, a happy hum slipping through his lips.
“I very much like my ass being played with, but when it comes to penetration, I want your dick in my hole. Though, I wouldn't say no to being fingered while you fuck me. I'm so goddamn horny for you, Lee.”
He says it with the biggest smile on his face, no reservations.
“I kinda got that after the Black Room.”
There’s not a hint of shyness, just Matty’s smile growing a little more wicked as he leans in close and sneaks his fingers beneath the hem of my sweatshirt.
“It’s been an enlightening night,” he whispers in my ear, and I wrap my arms around his waist to keep him close. We can survive a few extra minutes. “Asking me to be your doll was sexy.”
It was done entirely in the moment, too.
I don’t have some secret doll kink or anything like that, but Matty has just been so pliant and willing tonight that when he begged me to use him, all I could think about was him sitting there waiting for me.
Everything aside from his own breathing being given to me.
“Would you like to try it again?”
He pulls back so I can see the lust pooling in his mahogany eyes. “Absolutely. I’ll be your little fuck doll whenever you want.”
I drag my touch up his body, feeling every little shiver beneath my fingertips. “Where have you been hiding this horny little devil, huh, Princess?”
There's pain hidden in the way he looks at me, but I'm not going to push. Not tonight.
“He's been waiting a long time for someone to let him out.” His voice is so soft, so full of meaning, something I can't place, and my resolve shatters.
I grasp his face in my hands and kiss his perfect fucking mouth.
His hands climb under my shirt, caging me to him with a possessive desperation. It doesn’t matter that our night has been filled with eroticism and exploration; this right here is the most sensual I’ve felt in a long time.
Matty is soft, but strong. Letting me take the lead but holding his ground. Begging but offering all at once.
This thing that has been building between us is at its crest, and we’re too bullheaded and strong willed to go under the current but reckless enough to let it sweep us along.
“If you’re going to let me in your body,” I say, licking into his mouth and barely pausing to breathe. “I’m going to finally get my mouth on you first.”
He shudders in my hold and breaks away to thump his head on my chest. His breaths are coming hard and heavy, and his arms shake where they’re positioned around me.
“Matty?”
“Take me home,” he says with his face pressed to my shirt. “Take me home, Lee.”
I don't tell him about the burst of happiness that goes off in my chest at the mention of home. Not my home. Just home.
Ours.
When we get there, the house is quiet. Peering into the living room from the entryway shows it dark and empty, and it’s possible Miya had to sleep in Cal’s room to get him to settle.
With the coast clear, I turn and reach for Matty, softening the thud of his back hitting the front door as I capture his mouth with mine.
Our hands explore above our clothes, grasping and clawing as if we need to be sure the other knows our intentions.
Matty raises his leg and hooks it over my hip, and I take the time to feel along his thigh, squeezing his ass once, and then reeling my touch inward.
His lips part, and I suck his tongue between my teeth to quiet the mewl as I put pressure on the base of his packer.
“This is hot,” I tell him, giving it a few strokes before letting my hand wander back to his ass. “But I want your cock.”
His eyes are pits of absolute lust, and he nips at my lip hard enough to form a bruise. “Get me to the room, and you can have whatever you want.”
“And if I want to fuck you until the sun comes up?”
A smile made of dirty promises lights up the excitement in his eyes. “Cute you thought I’d let you stop.”
Out of patience and in serious risk of getting naked in the entryway, I scoop him up by his ass—his other leg coming around my hip and arms locking around my neck—and carry him to the room we share.
The room we’re about to defile.
I barely get the door shut before he’s trying to slide down my body, but I put a stop to that with a quick swat to his ass. He moans, buries his face in my neck, and wiggles his hips like he’s seeking friction.
“Don’t even think about it,” I whisper, licking a stripe down his neck. “It’s my turn to get what I want.”
He chuckles breathlessly, tilting his head to give me room. “Right, because you didn’t enjoy the blowjob or anything.”
The smile on my face is too damn big; I try to tamper it down by kissing his skin, but the joy comes out as a laugh that makes my shoulders shake.
“Oh, sweetheart.” I lean back and kiss his equally happy grin. “That was amazing, but right now, all I want is to make you feel good.”
A huff of air hits my face followed by the soft tickle of Matty’s hands in the ends of my hair. “You do make me feel good, Lee. All the damn time.”
The words are spoken lightly, but the confession lies heavy between us. The beating in my chest thunders a frantic rhythm, whispering oaths I dare not say out loud.
We aren’t promising each other forever, only right now.
Securing my hold on him, I walk us a few steps to the bed, brush a kiss to his lips, and drop him onto the mattress.
He lets out a surprised squeak and throws a hand over his mouth, fixing me with a glare. Before he can scramble up, I slide down to my knees at the edge of the bed and press a firm hand to his chest.
“Be a good boy and let me play with you.”
Even in the low light of the room, lit only by the attached bathroom door hanging slightly ajar, the dusting of pink on Matty’s cheeks stands out in contrast to the dark hair framing his face.
He blows out a harsh breath and drops flat to the bed, but I don’t miss the way he tenses and fists the sheet. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say Matty is used to being active in bed, to giving and giving and getting only the bare minimum in return.
Not with me. I’ll take as much as he offers, but I’ll also give it back tenfold, because nothing brings me more joy than seeing the person I’m with writhing in the pleasure I cause them.
So, even though he squirms and sighs like he has better things to do—we both know he doesn’t—I take my time getting him undressed.
We left our shoes and coats in the entryway, so I focus on his pants.
Rascal—who has a similar build to Matty only taller—apparently loaned him a pair of leggings so he didn’t have to wrestle back into his jeans, and I’m thankful because of how easily they slide off his legs.
His boxer briefs are tight and form fitting, a dark red, and they’re filled out by the silicone dick I hadn’t even thought about him having. Being amazed by that is going to have to wait, though, because I have a long overdue promise to fulfill.
“You mind if we take these off, Princess?”