Chapter 20
MATTY
I’m nervous. The kind of nervousness I don’t get before sex anymore. It has nothing to do with my anatomy, nothing to do with the person I’m sleeping with; it’s the fact that I’m in charge.
Which is ridiculous, because I’ve been in charge of everyone I’ve filmed with. I always made the calls. With Lee, it feels different.
Every time we’ve been together, no matter who seems to be leading at any given moment, we’re always feeding off each other. Push and pull.
We’re going into territory neither of us has much experience in, and Lee wants me to take the reins. He needs me to be the confident one. In control. Make this a pleasurable experience for him.
When a package arrives at the house a couple of days later, excitement starts a warm buzz beneath my skin. Lee quirks a brow from where he’s sitting on the floor next to the coffee table, fixing Cal’s stack of dominoes every time they get knocked over.
I lean down to brush a kiss over his mouth, chuckling when he reaches for the box.
“Not for you,” I mumble against his lips, held still by a hand on my nape. “Not yet.”
His breath hitches, and it takes an immeasurable amount of self control not to drop to my knees and kiss him until we’re both ready to snap.
No can do; I’ve got to go through my spoils of war. Or in this case, the internet.
I give him one last kiss, slipping out of his hold, and make my way through our room to the bathroom.
The box is a mix of items I ordered from a site I’ve been using since starting up the whole subscription service thing. Considering I’ve never put any weight into topping before, I needed a harness of some kind, and I may have ordered more than one so I can figure out what’s comfortable.
There are a surprising number of options for strap-ons that are supposed to be stimulating for both of us, and I probably went a little overboard buying three of them. If this ends up being something we both like, it’s good to have options, right?
A couple of items are for Elias, especially in case being penetrated isn’t his thing, and a rush of arousal comes over me as I clean and put everything away into a new toy box.
I want to explore with Lee; I want to find what we like, what works.
Before, I bitched about sex because it was emotionless, just sweat and endorphins, but the two of us?
It’s so much more.
I’m going to make sure Elias knows it, too. How incredible we are. How irreplaceable.
Elias’ coworker lives in a studio apartment with blackout curtains, the softest carpet in existence, and is devoid of most furniture aside from a king bed decked out in the corner.
When we discussed wanting more time than Cal’s therapy would allow and not wanting the pressure of needing to be quiet while everyone sleeps, Elias had looked into places we could go for a couple of hours.
What he’d ended up with was an offer from another stripper—Rascal, I think—to borrow his apartment while he goes in for a shift.
“If I’m not at work, I’m at school,” he had explained. “So I’m really only ever here to crash.”
He left Elias with a key and told us a range we could use the apartment for, and here we are.
Miya is a saint for taking on as much of Cal’s care as she has since she’s been here, but if either of us try to thank her, we get glared at and lectured on how she never gets to see her nephew, so she’ll spend as much time with him as she can.
I really love how supportive this family is.
My bag that has our toys, my tripod, and other miscellaneous things gets sat on the edge of the bed as we take the place in. The energy around us is anticipatory if a little stilted.
“You know,” Lee says, coming to stand in front of me and rub his hands along my arms. “I’ve never quite planned sex like this. I’m not sure what to do.”
“I have,” I say, leaning into him and accepting the kiss he brushes over my mouth. “But you’re right. It feels strange.”
“Why don’t you set up while I rifle through your bag of toys?” He grins against my lips, hands slipping up into my hair, and if he isn’t careful we won’t make it to the video stage because I’ll beg him to have me right here.
“Some of those are a surprise.” Still, I smile too and lace my fingers together at his nape, groaning at the feel of his tongue stroking mine. “But I could use your help choosing a dildo.”
That makes him finally break away, and though I whine a little, I know it’s for the best.
“How many do you have?”
“I narrowed it down to two. Figured you should have a say in what gets stuck in your ass.”
He kisses me again to cover his laughter, but that only results in me joining him and us making out until Elias finally pushes me away.
“Let’s pick out a dick, baby.”
I shoot him a glare, but I have to roll my lips to keep from cracking up again.
Making sure to keep the other items hidden, I pull out the two silicone strap-ons I’d chosen and lay them on a towel I brought. If we’re going to be using someone else’s bed—even if we plan on washing their sheets when we’re done—I want to keep our bodily fluids somewhat contained.
While I work on setting up the tripod and my phone with a decent angle, I watch Elias examine the toys out of the corner of my eye.
“What do you think?”
“I think I’m really fucking grateful you’re as thoughtful as you are. You picked out smaller ones for my comfort, didn’t you?”
I shrug, keeping my hands busy to avoid grabbing him and winding up on the floor instead of the bed. “Even my packers are smaller. I just don’t feel the need to have anything overly large. Unless you decide you want something bigger next time, these seem perfect to me.”
Elias’ arms come around my waist, and I sigh in relief at the contact. I rest my head back on his shoulder and smile up at him. He kisses my cheek and rubs his nose to mine.
“Thank you.”
Then, he does the most Elias thing ever and lifts a bright green dildo to my face. “Is that a hole for your dick?”
I snicker and half turn in his arms. “Good deduction. Yes. I’m not sure if I have enough bottom growth for it or not, though.”
His brows shoot up. “You haven’t tried it out?”
“Nah. I wanted to save this as an ‘us’ experience.”
The way he stares down at me makes my cheeks flush, and when I duck my head, his free hand goes to my cheek and tilts my face back for a kiss.
“Guess you aren’t going to be my doll tonight, hm?” he asks, gliding his smile over my cheek.
“Not tonight.” I rest my head on his chest, soaking in the feel of his fingers stroking through my hair. “Is that the dildo you want?”
He shakes his head over the top of mine. “We should see how they feel for you first.”
Without even an ounce of decorum, Elias reaches down and shoves my pants and boxers to my knees, fitting his fingers between my legs to stroke my dick to life.
My head falls back onto his shoulder, hips rocking into the touch as little puffs of breath escape through my open mouth. “Lee.”
“What?” He chuckles and drops a series of kisses to my neck and shoulder. “It’s for science.”
Science. Right. While it usually takes me several minutes to work myself up to the degree of hardness where I could maybe use the toy, Elias does it in seconds, dragging his fingers over my hole and spreading the wetness over my cock.
“Want me to suck on it?” he asks into my ear, making me shiver. “I could puff it up a little more.” His little eyebrow wiggle makes me laugh, but it’s a low, deep sound in my chest that quickly turns into a needy moan.
“Put the toy on me before I come fucking your hand.”
Elias’ laughter caresses my skin, and then’s he’s tugging on my dick and lining it up with the toy and—
“Oh fuck!” The sudden suction nearly sends me over the edge, and I grip Elias’ arms like they’re railings. “Wait a second.”
He’s like a kid in a candy store, too preoccupied with the shiny new thing to hear a word I’m saying, because he tugs and twists and fucks the toy into his hand, all while sending little shocks of pleasure straight to my cock.
“Elias,” I hiss as the sensation sends a throb of warning through me.
This time, he listens, gently removing the dildo and soothing his thumb over my sensitive dick.
“I can’t wait to have you inside me,” he groans and drags his teeth down my neck. “Maybe I’ll even take dick better than you.”
I snort, because fat fucking chance. I’m a cock slut who will jump at the chance to sit on Elias’ dick. Even if he does like anal, I can out whore him any day of the week.
Though, I wouldn’t mind him being a slut for me, too. The ego boost might rid me of some of these damn nerves.
Almost like he knows, he brings his lips back to my mouth, kisses me good and thorough until my lips feel tingly and numb.
“It doesn’t have to be perfect,” he whispers. “That’s what makes sex with you so great. We can laugh, tease, fuck up, and we’ll still have a good time. Don’t stress, Princess.”
I’m the one who kisses him this time, who pushes up onto my toes and throws an arm around his neck. There’s a thunk as he tosses the dildo onto the bed, and then both of his arms are around me. At first, just a firm pressure on my waist, then sliding down to cup my bare ass.
“Fuck me, Matty,” he growls into my mouth, and then he’s picking me up like a rag doll, one hand under my ass as he yanks my pants off the rest of the way and kicks them aside. Instead of putting me down, he smacks a light palm across my butt cheek and presses his lips to my waist.
“I can’t fuck you from up here.” The words come out with a laugh that is part humor and part desperation.
“No, but this would be a great position for me to blow you.”
“You would kill your arms.”
Elias’ teeth sink into my hip, and my hands fly to his hair and shoulder for leverage. He flattens his tongue over the little bite mark, and when I glance down I can make out an obvious grin.
“Challenge accepted but put on the back burner for next time.”
God, I love this man.