12. Twelve
Twelve
Bane
Evie plays with her blocks on the cabin’s rustic wooden floor while I brain-fuck the whole scenario with Avery.
It’s usually peaceful at the cabin, away from my life, but my mind won’t quiet down.
“Avery?” Evie looks up at me, her innocent eyes wide with curiosity.
My heart clenches. I hadn’t realized how attached Evie had become to her in such a short time. Hell, I hadn’t realized how attached I’d become.
“She’s not here right now, Baby Bear.” The simple answer betrays the problem.
Evie grabs a book and toddles to me. “Story.”
Avery’s the best at doing voices and bringing the stories to life. I scoop Evie up, holding her close as I halfheartedly read the simple text.
As I rock Evie, my mind races. Even if Avery’s not a spy sent to hurt us, because as the initial shock wears off, I’m certain that fear comes from watching too many movies. There’s no way Avery’s evil. But can I allow Avery into our lives if she has connections to my wife’s killer?
I picture Avery’s smile, her gentle nature, and the horror in her expression when I mentioned the guy she met with.
What a fucking scared little prick I was, not even giving her a chance to explain.
Scared. That’s what Diego’s been trying to help me get past this whole time. I’m so fucking afraid that something else bad will happen, that I’ve stopped living. And I’m raising Evie in that closed world.
It hits me like a brick wall. I’m a terrible father. Avery might be the best thing that’s happened to Evie since her mother’s death.
My heart stops. I can’t breathe. Am I having a panic attack? I set Evie in her playpen and take deep breaths. Staring out the window, I curse myself for hiding.
I’ve been a total fucking chicken.
My phone buzzing might as well be a defibrillator, insisting that I have to keep going.
Diego: Avery’s not a spy. She needs our help.
I stare at the screen, my heart pounds in my ears. Shit! I got it all wrong. It’s confirmation—I sure as hell don’t deserve someone as kind as Avery.
Even in my flustered state, I’m careful not to lash out in front of Evie. I have to get a grip .
Rereading the text, Diego’s wording gets to me. He doesn’t ask if I’ll help. He says our help. He has faith in me even when I’m questioning myself.
I can do this. I can break through the fear. If she needs my help, I’ll find a way to deliver. I’ll protect her… and Bella, as my own. Avery makes me a better person. I have to be there for her.
I call Diego, letting him know I’m on my way, and he tells me to focus on the road. They’ll explain when I get home.
I kiss the top of Evie’s head, inhaling her sweet baby scent, and say, “Let’s go get Avery.”